Need serious advice

I could post this on the Aqua board, since my dad's an Aqua but no one goes there so here we are.

I bought a house in December, and while remodeling I was storing a lot of my stuff that I didn't want to get destroyed at my parents - including our big expensive TV.

8 months later...TV is still at my parents because we're still not done with the living room.

Well apparently my dad took it upon himself to deebo our TV without saying anything to us. Even went as far as buying a new power cord for it because he couldn't find it and obviously didn't want to ask us because he was sneaking around. My mom told me all awkwardly and said find out what the libra wants for it, I'll pay him....

The issue is, we're not going to accept money from them...and even if we did, it's not going to be enough to replace the TV. So, I'm in the most awkward position now because the Libra is pissed and I am in the middle. 😢

I am so embarassed that my dad didn't even ask us, when I'm reality if he had, my Libra would have given it to them because he wanted a bigger one for the new living room anyway.

What do I do? I feel so awkward..........

My mom said she asked him if he was even going to say something about taking the TV and apparently he said "well it's been sitting at my house for almost a year not getting used, but whatever, if they want money for it I'll pay them"

:/ this feels so icky

Help

Posted by GetMisted
http://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/aquarius.asp

No!!!! Just help

Seniority....I don't follow the rules ok

My dad doesn't care for him...it's a strained relationship.

My libra and I started off really bad...a lot of teenage drama...we had to keep secret when we started seeing each other again. But that was literally like 9 years ago. We both grew up. He needs to get over it.

My dad's just really passive aggressive silent type. He talks shit about the Libra whenever he gets a chance but he doesn't say anything to him. At all. Like he doesn't talk to him. Lol

Posted by P_Ands
buy the bigger tv

Yeah we will

And actually the Libra s initial reaction was a shrug and "looks like I'm buying a bigger tv" but then he did a 360 on me and was like "you know that really pisses me off actually..."

:/ worst thing to hear a Scorp moon say

Your father shouldn't have done that. If I were you I'd talk to my father. I'm not sure how close you guys are but regardless you should have a talk with him just you and him.

It honestly doesn't matter how long your tv was at their place because they agreed to let you leave it there while you're remodeling.

I don't necessarily think it's an Aqua thing as I personally wouldn't do anything like that. Still, he should've honored his agreement with you by respecting your property. Just have a good one on one talk with him.

Posted by GetMisted

Posted by brianafay
My dad doesn't care for him...it's a strained relationship.

My libra and I started off really bad...a lot of teenage drama...we had to keep secret when we started seeing each other again. But that was literally like 9 years ago. We both grew up. He needs to get over it.

My dad's just really passive aggressive silent type. He talks shit about the Libra whenever he gets a chance but he doesn't say anything to him. At all. Like he doesn't talk to him. Lol

Have you told your dad to chill the fuck out?

click to expand

Oh yeah ...at first I totally got why everyone was so against us. And I understood and respected that they felt that way because they care about me and he acted like a real psycho. It was justified. But it's been over 9 years since all that and I think we've more than proven we're past it.

I mean he let the Libra stay with them for several months when I was away at school and he lost his living situation unexpectedly...so he can't 100% hate him. He tolerates him. Just doesn't talk to him or acknowledge him unless he absolutely has to

Is it totally fucked up that I don't want my dad to feel bad either though ?

Lord help me I'm a hot ass mess

Posted by brianafay

Posted by GetMisted

Posted by brianafay
My dad doesn't care for him...it's a strained relationship.

My libra and I started off really bad...a lot of teenage drama...we had to keep secret when we started seeing each other again. But that was literally like 9 years ago. We both grew up. He needs to get over it.

My dad's just really passive aggressive silent type. He talks shit about the Libra whenever he gets a chance but he doesn't say anything to him. At all. Like he doesn't talk to him. Lol

Have you told your dad to chill the fuck out?

I mean he let the Libra stay with them for several months when I was away at school and he lost his living situation unexpectedly...so he can't 100% hate him. He tolerates him. Just doesn't talk to him or acknowledge him unless he absolutely has to

click to expand

Your Dad may consider the tv payback for letting your Libra stay with them. Libra might have to call it fair

Posted by P_Ands
ugh keeping tabs like that?

I've seen it

He has always created the most awkward and embarrassing situations

I told my aqua sister and she was like "damn dude ... But hey remember when dad would eat our friends leftovers, with no fucks given, because they were in HIS fridge ?"

Pretty much sums it up lol

whats deebo mean?

Posted by P_Ands
ugh keeping tabs like that?

I actually suggested that...and the fact that my dad has helped so much with the house....

My libra about blew his top lol

Posted by Phantom
Hell, my dad is an Aqua too and this sounds like something he would do also. :/ He literally stole my laptop from me for almost a whole year because I let him borrow it for a night.


But honestly, I feel like there isn't anything else you can do other than possibly tell your parents to buy you guys a comparable replacement TV... It is only fair. Especially once the house is ready. You didn't say they could have it, you just asked that they store it for you.

Wahhhh 😢
Its so awkward though!

Posted by MsFisk

Posted by heartofsag
whats deebo mean?

class="bqfade">click to expand

Lmaoo ppl actually know what that is here ‚‚‚

Posted by MsFisk
I thought Aquas are non-materialistic humanitarians and shit....

-_-
He has no manners. I don't understand how he's not embarrassed...he wasn't even going to say anything!!

If my mom hadnt we would have gone to get our TV and realized it was already mounted to their wall

Can't have both the girl and the TV.

Libra should pick wisely.

But really what better way to get on this man's good side than just letting go of the TV. Let the old man have it. Play it off as a present.

Omg I don't even want to go over there now...the libra s going to be making so many comments ...he can't control himself

"Wow my TV looks good up there"

And I agree with shellshocker about seeing it as fair if he allowed your boyfriend to stay there for a while. This TV would repay that kindness (since everyone is keeping some type of mental score)

Maybe that's just me but with serious dating...9 years and all that..you date into a family. You don't just date the person (unless their family situation is beyond redemption but even then you can manage). Which is why a little goes a long way.

Also, we bought them their last TV as a Christmas gift because they literally had a like 24" box tv in their bedroom...so now the libra's counting how many TVs we've given them

Super salty

steal it back

whats he gonna say?

Libra stayed with your parents?
Dad has tv?
Chalk it up to rent paud for staying there.

Posted by Phantom

Posted by brianafay

Posted by Phantom
Hell, my dad is an Aqua too and this sounds like something he would do also. :/ He literally stole my laptop from me for almost a whole year because I let him borrow it for a night.


But honestly, I feel like there isn't anything else you can do other than possibly tell your parents to buy you guys a comparable replacement TV... It is only fair. Especially once the house is ready. You didn't say they could have it, you just asked that they store it for you.

Wahhhh 😢
Its so awkward though!

I get that. Believe me, my sister and I are always doing the same thing, like trying to justify our Aqua dads behavior because he's our dad but sometimes they do need to know that they aren't acting very well. Can't always be so nice... But this situation sucks either way. You know what I had to do because my dad wouldn't give me my laptop back? I bought him a laptop... Ferk sake, that's how much I let my Aqua dad get away with shit lol, so I understand why you don't want to deal with it :/

click to expand

Haha I wanted to do the same thing!
my libra was like ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND

lol the leeb is making a big deal out of it

just saying 🙂

Buy the bigger tv and forget about it.

If it was anyone but your dad, I would probably say otherwise.

Life's too short ... let him be the ass-- he'll know and so will your

mom.

Something good May even come out of it.

Posted by Montgomery
Buy the bigger tv and forget about it.

If it was anyone but your dad, I would probably say otherwise.

Life's too short ... let him be the ass-- he'll know and so will your

mom.

Something good May even come out of it.

Clarification: Don't take the money.

What the fuck is wrong with you people?

Girl, go over there and get your goddamned TV. Being the parent does not equal they can do whatever the fuck they want to you or your stuff. Especially if you're out of the house and on your own.

Head on over when he's not home, take that shit off the wall, and leave. What the hell else is there to realize about this?

If he throws a tizzy fit, what the fuck ever.

Ok, I told libra I'm really sorry and we can just go steal it back, it's the only real option. But I guess he's already over it because he said "nah it's ok, it is what it is"

Scorp moon tricks

I'll be hearing about this again I'm sure

Thanks guys!!

Posted by seraph
Buy the bigger TV, let your dad have the one he has now, and drop the whole issue. This should be a non-issue to begin with.

Good chance it would have been a non-issue if BF was actually fond of Dad (and vice versa).

@rockyroadicecream - I guess everyone's family dynamics are different. I'd just let my dad keep the TV, as well, but I'll make sure to let him know he won't be getting a bday gift from me this/next year. 😛

Posted by brianafay
Ok, I told libra I'm really sorry and we can just go steal it back, it's the only real option. But I guess he's already over it because he said "nah it's ok, it is what it is"

Scorp moon tricks

I'll be hearing about this again I'm sure

*eye roll*

Typical Libra passivity.

Yes, he WILL totally bring it up again. When you guys are good and ready for it in the living room, go get it. He can stfu and has nothing to whine about and you've set a precedent that you won't be tolerating your dad's garbage ass behavior.

Your dad has to realize he can't be taking advantage of his kids and taking their shit because he's acting entitled because he splooged and had a kid from it. One thing that drives me absolutely crazy is when parents think they can just do whatever the fuck to their kids possessions because they have a 1950s mindset that they just CAN, because, "parent." That's a really great way to fuck up your relationship with your kid. Have some freaking respect on a basic level, Jesus.

As George Carlin says, respect is earned, not given, in regard to parents. Some people develop a god complex as parents and it's fucked up.

In your situation, you mom just enables his behavior by offering money for the TV, you enable it because you're willing to drop it and are hesitating on doing the correct thing, and the Libra is enabling because... Libra.

Do whatever you please, but shit like this will fester in the long run and create even more friction. If you stand your ground and set a precedent of what you will NOT tolerate, you're creating healthy boundaries that prevent resentment amongst family members because nobody had the balls to tell him no.

Also, might I point out that the only reason this comes off as so fucked up is because it's not just him and his daughter, it's including her boyfriend. His shitty actions are also treading into the relationship which is another problem in itself.

The selfishness is just ridiculous and the fact that a majority of the people here are so insanely passive about it is ridiculous. I was raised by parents who would never do such insane bullshit. They may have driven me crazy in other ways, but they still had a basic respect toward us and wanting what was best for us. Neither would do something like this that overstepped some serious boundaries to the point where it seeped into our relationships.

But then again, my parents were feminists so whatever. This rawr I'm the dad I can do what I want bullshit just makes me want to slap a bitch. It's so ridiculous and outdated in 2015.

Posted by Satorii

Posted by rockyroadicecream
Also, might I point out that the only reason this comes off as so fucked up is because it's not just him and his daughter, it's including her boyfriend. His shitty actions are also treading into the relationship which is another problem in itself.

The selfishness is just ridiculous and the fact that a majority of the people here are so insanely passive about it is ridiculous. I was raised by parents who would never do such insane bullshit. They may have driven me crazy in other ways, but they still had a basic respect toward us and wanting what was best for us. Neither would do something like this that overstepped some serious boundaries to the point where it seeped into our relationships.

But then again, my parents were feminists so whatever. This rawr I'm the dad I can do what I want bullshit just makes me want to slap a bitch. It's so ridiculous and outdated in 2015.

Well, that's great for you, but some people's parents are different obviously, and we have to learn to pick and choose our battles. It's just not worth wasting the energy-- not all of us are armed and ready for WWIII at every opportunity, Ram. That shit's exhausting.

So, for me, I would be losing more in fighting this than just letting it go and moving on. I would be thinking of my best interest first as well.

click to expand

Yes, but look at her reaction to the situation. She KNOWS he's in the wrong but has been conditioned for years to just accept his crap when it's been a problem and now it's crossing over into the relationship territory.

This isn't about picking and choosing. She said she wanted advice and she got it. She has to consider what bullshit like this will do in the long run. If she wants to do this weenie "pick and choose battles" when it's clearly causing a problem then by all means. But her boyfriend is already showing signs of being pissy about it. In turn, this is going to add problems to THEIR relationship because her dad decided to be a selfish prick and steal their TV. ESPECIALLY if he's a Libra. They downplay and then let shit fester and it blows up further down the road.

I'm sorry you live with such a limited view of the big picture here.

Also I only pointed out the situation with my parents because this is why this response is so fucking insane to me. You all were raised by controlling asshole parents who think they can walk all over you? Seriously? How incredibly sad.

Posted by feby
To be exact, tell your dad exactly how you feel. Let it all out and go all in....just the two of you. Then disappear for a little bit and give it a chance to sink in how he's made you feel.

I wouldn't involve your bf in this though. For me as an aqua, I don't forget and remember slights.

+1

Posted by tiziani

Posted by Montgomery
Buy the bigger tv and forget about it.

If it was anyone but your dad, I would probably say otherwise.

Life's too short ... let him be the ass-- he'll know and so will your

mom.

Something good May even come out of it.

A monthly prediction within a prediction!

It's like Inception.

click to expand

You're waiting for a train...

😄

It drops.

No I am too passive with my dad because of our history and dynamic ...I won't get into all that, but let's just say this is just how it's always been. We don't have the type of relationship where I can tell him how he's made me feel, etc. My mom has been suggesting we go to counseling for years, but it's really beyond help.

I wouldn't give a shit about the stupid fucking TV if it were just mine...but it's not. If my libra's dad deebo'd something of mine, he'd get it back...wouldn't even be a discussion. & they have a horrendous relationship, so it's not an excuse.

That's my problem. I feel like I should handle it, because it's my dad....but at the same time, there's no way to handle it without further putting strain on an already tense relationship

Also in some very sad pathetic way I don't want my dad to feel bad.....as if he has ever given a shit how this or anything else might have made me feel bad.

Yes, and I know he will. Just a little bit awkward

Posted by brianafay
No I am too passive with my dad because of our history and dynamic ...I won't get into all that, but let's just say this is just how it's always been. We don't have the type of relationship where I can tell him how he's made me feel, etc. My mom has been suggesting we go to counseling for years, but it's really beyond help.

I wouldn't give a shit about the stupid fucking TV if it were just mine...but it's not. If my libra's dad deebo'd something of mine, he'd get it back...wouldn't even be a discussion. & they have a horrendous relationship, so it's not an excuse.

That's my problem. I feel like I should handle it, because it's my dad....but at the same time, there's no way to handle it without further putting strain on an already tense relationship

I get it, girl. I see the same passivity due to conditioning with my Sag brother, which is why I'm so rawr for you haha.

I was about to say the same thing- it'd be entirely different if it was just you and him and I could see just dropping it and letting him have this one. But another individual is involved- one whom you're in a relationship with and will have to deal with your dad's inconsiderate actions long term. He's not in the relationship with the Libra, you are.

If you were to go and take it back, what would he do? Hold a grudge? Does he really have any ground to even do so considering it wasn't his to begin with? It's one thing to use it while you're not, but for him to totally just up and TAKE it is a bit too far. He doesn't really have a leg to stand on.

The other big question is your mom in all of this. She's enabling him. Why can't she help sway the situation so he can see the logic here?

Posted by BlackMamba
This is a hilarious thread. You're dad is too funny. Look your walking on eggshells around your own dad. If you can't talk to your dad who can you talk too??


Anyways if my dad did what your dad did I probably let it go because I know my dad his intention isn't too harm me. He just saw a tool. A TV that needed to be used especially if it was there for long period of time.

It's like I wouldn't park my car in his garage and not expect him to drive it

I get that. But it wasn't just my TV...it involves someone else

Also, just because you have a healthy relationship with your father does not mean I do....I wish I did. If I had the same relationship with him I obviously wouldnt be in distress over something seemingly so,petty

Posted by BlackMamba

Posted by feby
LOL that's fucked up

Ya .I was shocked first and only time a parent said that to me. Now when aquas tell me they don't want kids I think great please don't

click to expand

I'm not surprised. I used to have an Aqua friend who did some insane shit in regard to her kids' overall wellbeing. So incredibly selfish and fucked up.

...it's why we aren't friends anymore. She was like that generally- really fucked up.

The more I hear about all the Air signs, the less inclined I am to want to keep any in my life on a permanent basis. Too freaking unhinged and their view of the world is really disturbing. :/

...the unevolved ones, of course. But that seems to become rare anymore.

*rare anymore to find ones that AREN'T unevolved.

I have ADD atm. :/

Posted by rockyroadicecream

Posted by brianafay
No I am too passive with my dad because of our history and dynamic ...I won't get into all that, but let's just say this is just how it's always been. We don't have the type of relationship where I can tell him how he's made me feel, etc. My mom has been suggesting we go to counseling for years, but it's really beyond help.

I wouldn't give a shit about the stupid fucking TV if it were just mine...but it's not. If my libra's dad deebo'd something of mine, he'd get it back...wouldn't even be a discussion. & they have a horrendous relationship, so it's not an excuse.

That's my problem. I feel like I should handle it, because it's my dad....but at the same time, there's no way to handle it without further putting strain on an already tense relationship

I get it, girl. I see the same passivity due to conditioning with my Sag brother, which is why I'm so rawr for you haha.

I was about to say the same thing- it'd be entirely different if it was just you and him and I could see just dropping it and letting him have this one. But another individual is involved- one whom you're in a relationship with and will have to deal with your dad's inconsiderate actions long term. He's not in the relationship with the Libra, you are.

If you were to go and take it back, what would he do? Hold a grudge? Does he really have any ground to even do so considering it wasn't his to begin with? It's one thing to use it while you're not, but for him to totally just up and TAKE it is a bit too far. He doesn't really have a leg to stand on.

The other big question is your mom in all of this. She's enabling him. Why can't she help sway the situation so he can see the logic here?

click to expand

If I took it back, he literally would never say a word about it. He is the creator of this dysfunction after all

I actually lol wondering was he ever going to say anything...even if were sitting in their living room looking at the TV? Like what was his plan? What was he going to say when we went to retrieve it and it was gone?

My mom is likely embarassed. I can definitely talk openly with her about it and she will try to resolve the problem, but she will probably just insist on buying it again

Posted by ToCoZ
Why wont you take money for the TV if your parents are willing to offer it?

Well it's not really my decision because it's really his tv...he says he doesn't want their money, and plus he can't replace the TV for what theyd give him for it

Posted by BlackMamba
I'm sorry to be harsh brianfey but fathers are meant to protect and love their daughters. Fear and love can't intermix. Fear kills love. All I read in your statements is fear. That really bothers me. I'm not saying my relationship with my father is all that healthy we've had our own issues, believe me! but if I can't talk to him about anything... Then what's the point of the relationship. That's what dad's are there for.

I agree, and that's a lovely sentiment but that's not my reality. He is not that kind of dad to me.

He didn't leave us. He financially supported us. I do not fear him...he didn't beat me or verbally abuse me....he didn't talk to me at all really. Just pretty much disregarded me my entire life. I can count on one hand the number of times he hugged me, told me he loved me, or really said anything positive about me. Yet I grew up watching him play with and be affectionate with other kids.

It was very damaging - as you said yourself, father-daughter relationships are one of the most important relationships

Posted by brianafay
If I took it back, he literally would never say a word about it. He is the creator of this dysfunction after all

I actually lol wondering was he ever going to say anything...even if were sitting in their living room looking at the TV? Like what was his plan? What was he going to say when we went to retrieve it and it was gone?

My mom is likely embarassed. I can definitely talk openly with her about it and she will try to resolve the problem, but she will probably just insist on buying it again

So he wouldn't say a word, but would he be hostile toward you in any way as a result? Or just not say a word and be like oh okay, she came to take her TV back?

It's good that your mom at least tries to step in and act as a buffer, but it doesn't help that she basically enables his bullshit by offering up suggestions like him just buying the TV. In turn, that really doesn't help overall. :/ It's just telling him that he can continue to behave so selfishly toward anyone and there be no ramifications whatsoever.

I wouldn't be surprised if the lack of consideration toward anyone else is a big part of the rift between you two, tbh.