ooo baby baby ;).. cookiemonster relax!

Posted by 25thDecan
Everyone any of you women finally decide to have a date with won't be a)your boyfriend b)another free meal and outing beyond the first 1-5 and c)the ONE. Ijs....women...

Posted by WaterCup
25th- u r sooo poetic, but seriously i dont understand a word of what u just said,lol. Can u simplify it, please? *waves*

Posted by WaterCup
Gucci- and here i was blaming it on the a.a.a.a.a.alcohol, im kinda tipsy thou so it must be that on my part. Higher education, huh? Well..here is the thing, honey..it seems like some men prefer other things to be higher ('wrap your legs around my neck' kinda thing, lol). I could be wrong...anyhoo..good for u, sweety. Sistas doing it for themselves *high 5*

Posted by WaterCup
Lol @ mid-life pisces

Posted by 3dimes2nickels1penny0sense
@Gucci.

I don't know who the man is that you quoted but to me it seems as though he is very shallow
and closed minded. The nerve of the guy. The woman is good enough to sleep with but is not good
enough to commit to. That's bullshit! That guy is a jerk!

* reads the quote again...... thinks back.....hmmmmm awwww shit that is my quote *

.....,......exit stage left....

* runs out the door *

LOL this is the proofread version......

Posted by domz
for some reason, I love those strips that you put on your nose to take out the black heads. It's so cool to see all that shit come out. Nose feels so clean!

Posted by bubblyaquarius

Posted by guccigemini55
hahahaha! and .. oh ohhh! ewwe! domz get outa here ya making me feel sick 😛..

blehh!

That was TMI, Domz. We all take self hygeine and grooming for granted. And those videos! That's what is creeping me out most. o.0 Just me....I guess.... eww eww eww

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Posted by WaterCup
He can do us, lol..we have 3 collectively u & i, surely thats not a lot. Domz, do u like mummies? They have bigger titts, all thanx to breastfeeding and its ALL natural. Surely that qualifies us as dating material..Or does it?

Posted by DazedScorp
I see nothing wrong with dating a single mom. I've done it a few times, actually.

I think the man has to understand that mom does in fact, have children to take care of. He can't expect her to be able to drop everything on a dime in order to see her.

This is actually why I prefer to date single moms. I can be a litle quick, and like to rush things with women. And me knowing that she has children, forces me to slow down. It works for me. Instead of dating on my time, I do it on her time. I am in now way, in a hurry to meet the kids though. That will come eventually if things go well. I'm not looking to be a father either, but that would also progress if things worked out. Simply take it one step at a time.

With that being said, the women also has to realize that she has children to take care of. This means, that if providing, or taking care of her child will get in the way of consideration of her potential partners feelings... then maybe it's not the right time for her to be dating, or attempting to.

It works both ways. And just because mom has children, doesn't mean she can be inconsiderate of others feelings. A simple, "I'm not in the right place to date a the moment", works fine in that sistuation.

However, more power to single moms that want to date. I'm all for it.

Not sure if that had anything to do with the OP (because this thread is already derailed), but I figured I'd give my insight I guess.

Posted by 3dimes2nickels1penny0sense
Hey guys, I'm curious and maybe y'all can make this topic also.....

How many gay and bisexual members are on this site? Compared to heterosexual?

Lol I like watercups style .... lol the part about "we just want some d..."

Y'all always say that in the beginning but its always more complicated than that.
My exwife said she wasn't looking for a father for her kids and that her kids had a father.
So I corrected her right then and this is while we were dating.

I told her that it was no secret that she was struggling to raise her 3 kids (all by the same guy)
16 year old daughter, 13 year old son, and a 9 month old daughter ( bingo, redflag right there) . Also these 2 both have master degrees. So both professionals.

When you start off a relationship by saying "my kids have a father and I'm not looking for a father for my kids, they have one already ". You set yourself up to "eat those same words later".

If I decide to get involved with you seriously, you have assured me that financially and emotionally that you and the father have that covered. So I'm freed from any obligations concerning your kids. We all know that's a lie ladies. You know most of the fathers are contributing the bare minimum if at all. How long are you going to let me whine and dine you and make love to you while you struggling and needing help dealing with your kids but you are scared to say something to me because of the lie you told initially. So you hoping I volunteer to help. That once you "mention " your plight that since I'm your man I'm going to help out even though you said you didn't need any help in that area. Hmmmm. Then if I hold you to your word, now there is animosity and resentment because I wont volunteer to help. Now I'm the bad guy. Say what you MEAN and MEAN what you SAY. Don't start nothing you can't finish.

Lol comments ladies...

Posted by DazedScorp
Unfortunetly, That's not how women work, nor is it how most people in general work.

And the generalization that all women work that way is a bit invalid.

Now I'm not saying that women can't do it, because I know many women who are successful in their work place, while still raising their children and carrying a relationship. But let's be real here. The majority of the population (not just women, single fathers also, and people without children), can't handle that pressure.

For a single parent who has split up with the other parent, and who is trying to support multiple children on one salary, are not only struggling with finances... they are also longing for that companion. Emotional instability.

what I'm getting at here, is that if you're trying to raise your children, while working a full time job, or even multiple jobs, it's likely that you have nothing more to give to another individual, especially when they are new in your life.

It's not fair to the other person.

Ok in response to this, I agree with watercup, as women alot of us can compartmentalize and multi task, but how succesful you are at it also depends on the emotional state of the individual too, hence why is the woman lying to you in the first place 3dimes (red flag!) A good woman can and WILL juggle all that because they have the drive, what I am saying is dont rule her out before you know.

Ive done the 2 jobs, raised the kids, studied for uni, stayed making an effort to look attractive, supported a guy in his career ambition, kept a stylish home.. still felt horny as hell after it all, yet been the one saying hey hows about a bit of me and you time, my mum always said to me, "when you become a mother dont ever forget you are still a wife and a lover" .. no shit!

Posted by DazedScorp

Posted by 3dimes2nickels1penny0sense

When you start off a relationship by saying "my kids have a father and I'm not looking for a father for my kids, they have one already ". You set yourself up to "eat those same words later".

If I decide to get involved with you seriously, you have assured me that financially and emotionally that you and the father have that covered. So I'm freed from any obligations concerning your kids. We all know that's a lie ladies. You know most of the fathers are contributing the bare minimum if at all. How long are you going to let me whine and dine you and make love to you while you struggling and needing help dealing with your kids but you are scared to say something to me because of the lie you told initially. So you hoping I volunteer to help. That once you "mention " your plight that since I'm your man I'm going to help out even though you said you didn't need any help in that area. Hmmmm. Then if I hold you to your word, now there is animosity and resentment because I wont volunteer to help. Now I'm the bad guy. Say what you MEAN and MEAN what you SAY. Don't start nothing you can't finish.

That's a good point actually.

I'm actually curious as to why that is said.

Because if you say that you're struggling, he won't date you? You won't get the attention you crave? Your chance at companionship has dwindled?

That kind of falls into waht I was saying about being ready to date when you have kids. If you don't have things squared away with fathers, using a potential as a means to support yourself, or just too preoccupied with supporting your children... Maybe it's not time for you to date yet.

I understand you have children to support, but that is no excuse to be inconsiderate of anothers feelings. When you have all your ducks in a row, I'm willing to wine and dine and do whatever.

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Posted by DazedScorp

Posted by guccigemini55

Ok in response to this, I agree with watercup, as women alot of us can compartmentalize and multi task, but how succesful you are at it also depends on the emotional state of the individual too, hence why is the woman lying to you in the first place 3dimes (red flag!) A good woman can and WILL juggle all that because they have the drive, what I am saying is dont rule her out before you know.

Ive done the 2 jobs, raised the kids, studied for uni, stayed making an effort to look attractive, supported a guy in his career ambition, kept a stylish home.. still felt horny as hell after it all, yet been the one saying hey hows about a bit of me and you time, my mum always said to me, "when you become a mother dont ever forget you are still a wife and a lover" .. no shit!

Let's see if I can fix that quote? 🙂

I get waht you're saying Gucci.

I've done this before, and like I said, I'm fine with it becuase I'll take it one step at a time, and with me being a father to her kids comes around... That's cool with me. I don't mind.

But how do you know what the truth is before hand, when the past tells you not to believe what she's saying. How do you decide?

I think that is where 41cents is with this.

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Posted by DazedScorp
Are you saying that your point wasnt that all women are capable of that?

Posted by bubblyaquarius

"By learning about the person first, not diving straight in, makes no odds whether its a single mom/ someone without its the same in any relationship.. this is the very reason, no one would be engaging with my kids for at least a year."

It's best that way. And prevents drama, if any should happen, with the kids and that person. You havta get to know em first. Creeps are everywhere seems like...

Posted by WaterCup
Lol @ i'd kill ya. Haha

Posted by DazedScorp

Posted by bubblyaquarius
Most single women I know with children would love to have a stable permanent father in their child's life. Most I know, do think that having a spouse would make their lives easier. I don't think any women here have denied that.
A man who was raising a daughter with no mother figure or real mom would probobly feel the same way. Wishing their was a woman to help.
Why are we even discussing this? Why is it a question? Whenever there's kids involved, I think the child themselves deserves a home with two parents, but it doesn't always work out that way.
Women are capable of raising children without a man, and a man is capable of raising children too...but a spouse is always helpful, and depending on the gender of the children would take a hella load off of the single parent's shoulders. Move on to something else. thats basic guys.

All women capable of what? Single parents have been raising kids for years. And so have single dads. Eh. And can we stop zoning on on SINGLE MOMs all the time. questioning them all the time. so encouraging. Like a single dad has no problems in life. And these single moms aren't saying everything is perfect or easy. Marriage isn't perfect or easy either. eh

I agree with all that, and I'm not arguing anyof those points.

What I am saying, is that single mom/single father who are struggling to make things work have a lot on their plate. And when you have that much on your plate, it's difficult to make time and consider the feelings of a potential partner.

So if it's going to take you a year or two to bring your new S/O into that part of the equation and not expect them to help out, how to you expect to consider their feelings and emotional needs in that year or two time?

Not sure if I'm making sense here or not?

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Posted by DazedScorp

Posted by WaterCup
'too preoccupied with supporting your kids, maybe u shouldnt date'...see thats not how it works with women, we are multi-taskers, so preoccupation with raising kids doesnt necessarily mean that u cant handle the dating game. Its all about compartmelizing and strategizing aka ducks in a row, which comes easily to most women.

Posted by WaterCup
In case u didnt read my post correctly theres a part that says 'most women', it didnt say anything about ALL women.

Posted by WaterCup
Yes, dazed, arent i clear enough?

First it was all women.
Next is was not all women.
Now it's all women again.

I'd say no. Not very clear at all.

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