Texting Etiquette

So, this isn't a huge deal, but this just annoyed me. I was texting my girlfriend last night, and we were going back and forth about this and that. Then I send her a text about my grandma not doing well, she responds, I respond back.. and then nothing. I'm pretty sure this is something I should just let roll off my should, but I sent her a few other texts about stuff and still nothing. It's getting late, so I'm getting kind of annoyed, if she went to bed, shoot me a quick text goodnight or something so I'm not waiting for her to respond since we were mid-conversation via text, she was texting back right away, it's not life she kept me waiting. So, I shoot her a quick text telling her this is the 2nd night in a row that we are mid-conversation and at 10:30 she flatlines, just shoot me a text goodnight to spare us both. Me from waiting for her to respond, and her from getting my texts thinking we are still having a conversation.
She get's back to me 30-minutes later and says she was online. Seriously, I'm not going to text her at night anymore. She gets irritated when people ignore her texts, but it's ok for her to ignore mine for 30-minutes when we've been going back and forth about stuff. So, I just told her that it was rude of her to ignore my texts for 30-minutes, especially because I was texting her about my grandmother who isn't doing well, and that if I hadn't called her out on not responding, she probably wouldn't have responded at all, and that it wasn't cool. I know, it seems petty, but I'm the type where I just have to communicate how/why I felt someones actions sucked and be done with it. That was inconsiderate in my opinion. Would you just walk away mid-conversation if we were talking face to face, or would you just hang up the phone mid-conversation if we were on the phone?

I'm like that. I see how it can be annoying, but I've always found phone texts a whole different form of communication than talking irl or on the phone. Sometimes I can't help but to look at it as a letter. You know, you get it, and you respond to it when you get the chance/feel like it. You never know what might've came up, maybe someone got a call and talked for half an hour or had some kind of an emergency to attend. Maybe they ran out of money on their phone. Who knows.

I guess nowdays when text mssgs are made to basically be a chat they are viewed differently.

im a terrible texter and caller. people text me and it may take me a week to respond. i just forget to be quite honest.

im easily distracted.

Heh. One time I woke up to a shit ton of texts that increased in anger
as they progressed.

I had fallen asleep. But the experience had given me great insight into any
further dealings I would have had with the angry texter.

I consider talking on the phone as a better alternative

Posted by feby16aqua
Hi Rae. I understand how you feel. I notice that for myself, things like this WILL bother me if there are other things going on that have me irritated (aside from my friend). Then I notice things that usually I can shake off, suddenly they matter. Do you feel this is true for you as well?

Also, ""I know, it seems petty, but I'm the type where I just have to communicate how/why I felt someones actions sucked and be done with it.""

I'm just the same ^^^

Yes, totally. We instantly bonded beginning of this year, she is probably the only friend I have that is female. We would text or talk and it was as if we have been friends for years. She wanted to do something or vice a versa and we were both game. Then she met a boy. Don't get me wrong, I'm totally happy for her, she's awesome and I know she was missing having someone in her life. This is me just totally over-analyzing, I have no idea if this is true, but you know how the mind works. We were texting on Monday, and then all of a sudden she stops at 10:30. Ok, then the next morning she said that her texts came in delayed. So, I found it quite odd that the same thing happened last night, she's texting me and then again, nothing after 10:30. I feel that I am being put aside, I get that she is excited about this guy, but that isn't a reason to toss me aside, at least shoot me a text and say you'll talk to me tomorrow. And then I started thinking that my texts the other night probably didn't even come in delayed, I mean, how is it that you are getting all of my texts on time and then all of a sudden at 10:30 they just stop coming in? Then last night, a coincidence that she stops responding at 10:30 again? If she was just online, how hard would it be to just text that you were going to surf the web, talk to you tomorrow... she knew I was texting, why ignore it for 30-minutes and then respond.
Again, I have no idea if this is even the case these past 2 nights, it's just unlike her and too coincidental to be at 10:30 both nights, and since I don't know the truth, I speculate. I hate it.
I feel like I have a phobia of friend abandonment. I use to have this girl I was extremely close with for 6 years, and then one day she just went poof. No message, no response to my calls, emails.... it sucks.

Posted by feby16aqua

Posted by Wynter
Heh. One time I woke up to a shit ton of texts that increased in anger
as they progressed.

I had fallen asleep. But the experience had given me great insight into any
further dealings I would have had with the angry texter.



I consider talking on the phone as a better alternative

What insight did you take from it?

click to expand

That, plus a few other things made me realize
that I didn't need this person in my life, after all.

@Rae: I completely agree and I had an argument with a friend recently over this subject. It wasn't the fact that they do it, it's the fact that they turn around and complain when its done to them.

Maybe I'm too old school. I see it as if we're face to face and they just get up and walk off without saying anything. Just rude

Posted by feby16aqua
Hi 🙂 Well I think some people do put their friends on the back burner when they have a new love interest, especially in the beginning.
Chances are that she does start talking to him and that's why she cuts off, but what can you do?

I would just tell her straight out, flat out, what you just wrote to me right there. About your past and your fears. At least then she knows. Who knows, you two could come to a mutual understanding.

That's understandable but why not just say such n such just texted we'll talk later. That's takes what...10 seconds to type but saves a lifetime worth of annoyance lol

Well plus the fact that he turns into a raging asshole when he thinks
someone is avoiding and not communicating. Fuck that shit.

Posted by beautifulsoul74
@Rae: I completely agree and I had an argument with a friend recently over this subject. It wasn't the fact that they do it, it's the fact that they turn around and complain when its done to them.

Maybe I'm too old school. I see it as if we're face to face and they just get up and walk off without saying anything. Just rude

Me too! Not to mention, when she texts, and it takes me a bit to respond (since normally I will always respond back right away, it literally takes just a minute), she stalks me, and I don't mind when she does, I get it... especially if it's a question. This is why this gets to me, if it were someone who has a track record of not responding in a timely fashion, or sometimes ever, and in return, doesn't get bothered when the tables are turned... then whatever, really not a big deal or anything to get annoyed about, but it is so not the case for her.

Posted by beautifulsoul74

Posted by feby16aqua
Hi 🙂 Well I think some people do put their friends on the back burner when they have a new love interest, especially in the beginning.
Chances are that she does start talking to him and that's why she cuts off, but what can you do?

I would just tell her straight out, flat out, what you just wrote to me right there. About your past and your fears. At least then she knows. Who knows, you two could come to a mutual understanding.

That's understandable but why not just say such n such just texted we'll talk later. That's takes what...10 seconds to type but saves a lifetime worth of annoyance lol

click to expand

Yes, this is the part that is gets to me most, just be honest and throw it out there. But Feb16Aqua has a point also, the reason she may not be upfront about it, is that she does know that I may get my feelers hurt over it. Bottom line though, is that I'd rather have my feelers hurt, or not, then for her to not be upfront and come across as being inconsiderate. Like I tell anyone, I'd rather be mad, hurt or sad with the honest truth, because I can get over that. However, once trust is lost, it's pretty much out of my control in regards to that ever being restored, no matter how bad I wanted it.

Posted by DMV
im a terrible texter and caller. people text me and it may take me a week to respond. i just forget to be quite honest.

im easily distracted.

My Sag friend is like this. She responded 24 hours later one time and I commented, "I can't believe I got an answer back this fast!!!" She said, "I know! I'm doing better!" lol!

Nemesis: I get what you are saying if this is a new friend, but this is not. This is a friend whom we always text, even as late as midnight during the work week sometimes. That is how you feel about texting, but that is out of character about how she views texting. She texts me when she gets up, throughout the day, after work... so it's a bit different with her. She generally is the one that is first to text me also. So, I guess that is why I was annoyed.

My other friend and I talk or text until late also... unless I am a friend of the opposite sex and they have a significant other, there is no harm done with after 9pm calls or texts.

Posted by RaeofSun
That was inconsiderate in my opinion. Would you just walk away mid-conversation if we were talking face to face, or would you just hang up the phone mid-conversation if we were on the phone?

No. This is why I actually talk to people about important things, say like my feeling about a loved one, I don't text.

Manners aren't required when you're sitting behind a screen.

Posted by Nemesis
hate texting and receiving texts. i view them as what they are - short text messages.

"i am not coming"
"i am running late"
"hurry the fuck up, i'm waiting already"
"call me, immediately"

don't write me your life story ffs. i sometimes get long messages, and i will ignore them cause i??d rather talk about it.

you don't know what the person on the other side of the line is doing - why interpret it negatively, OP?

click to expand

And this^^^.

Rae I am on your side. I hate this also. At least take a second to say, "ttul" I still use that to

close a text.

My best friend did this also about a month ago. I am still ticked off. I had texted her around Labor

Day that I would call her and we would do something. Now when someone sends me a text like that I

ACKNOWLEDGE it with a quick "OK SOUNDS GOOD." To let them know. And just to be polite, courteous.

Perhaps she is waiting for me to call, or maybe she didn't want to do something and was ignoring.

And I get that, but since she didn't respond to my quick text about doing something the h*ll with

her. At least say "Oh I'm not up for something this weekend, maybe later"

I agree its the same as talking to someone and just walking away!! RUDE!!!!!!!

Yes sunshine222, and the main point here is that it literally takes a few seconds! I'm just not going to text her at night anymore.

Yes Feb16.... it's just my cray cray side thinking out loud. I will text her, these days, if someone hurts me or upsets me, I just want to be done with it...haha (ooops, cray cray side again!)

DON'T READ TEXT
DONT SEND TEXT
PHONE MESSAGE IF THEY DON'T GET TO THE POINT IN 20 SECONDS ERASE IT
CALLING IF NO ONE ANSWERS I DON'T LEAVE MESSAGES
I THOUGHT ABOUT THIS AND DECIDED THE ONLY REASON TO LEAVE A MESSAGE IS IF SOME ONE DIES THEN I THOUGHT DON'T DO THAT TELL THEM INPERSON