The Bet

Oh jeez, here we go. I was at a bar with my friends one evening. They were always the obnoxious drunks who liked to do some stupid shit to prove how macho they were and attract attention. It was absolutely stupid, but I enjoyed watching it, so I usually kept my mouth shut.

Well one time, my friend whom we shall refer to as "Dave" said to the group of us "Hey, I bet you I can steal us a bottle of rum from behind the bar".

Before I go on, let me explain the bar layout. It was basically this enclosed rectangular area at the middle of the room with 3 or 4 bar tenders walking around taking drink orders. The drinks were on a shelf in the center of the bar area and the bar-tenders would walk around between it and the counter.

So back to the story. I gave the usual "Yea, whatever Dave" but another friend Matt was like "Dude... You won't. Pussy." Now, of course, Dave had to be that guy and prove him wrong, but the bar was crowded and there were 3 bar tenders on duty at the time, so there was no way Dave could have gotten away with this. Dave realizes this too and says "In a bit dude", but Matt just says "Yea, ok. I knew you wouldn't".

Fast forward a few hours. We're all pretty drunk, but Matt and Dave are really wasted. They're slurring and everything and Dave is trying to get me to buy him more drinks because he knows they'll cut him off if he tries to order. I tell him that he should fuck off, but he just keeps nagging. After a final "no" from me, he decides that it's time to make good on his arrangement with Matt. At this point the bar has died down and there's only 1 bartender working. Dave gets up, stumbles over to the bar, and as soon as the bartender goes to the other side of the bar he dives head-first over the bar. He landed about half-way onto the bar and kinda just dragged himself over the bar but I remember him falling below the bar to where I couldn't see him for a moment with a big *crash*. The bartender of course heard this and comes back around the bar to see Dave with a whiskey bottle in his hand straddling the bar trying to get back to us. He gets over the bar, falls on the floor again and runs out side as fast as I have ever seen Dave run, which was actually quite impressive for a drunk guy. The bartender shouted "Hey!" and ran out from behind the bar and out after Dave.

At this point we're all looking at each other and thinking "holy shit! did that just happen?" but the story still isn't over. We grab all of our drinks and rush out of the bar to see Dave lying in the parking with the bartender crouching over him. The bartender had his bottle of whiskey back and it looked like Dave was bleeding from the forehead. We initially thought that Dave had tripped by accident because he was so drunk, but we saw the bartender talking really angrily at him and give him a shove while he was lying there. Dave was so far gone and probably had a concussion and had no idea what was going on, so we rushed over and got the bartender away from him. We had another friend call and ambulance for Dave while I went over to the bar tender and said "Hey man, you got your bottle of whiskey back, what the fuck else do you need from the guy?" The bartender looks back at me very angrily and says "I need about tree fidy." At this point I realized that the bartender was about 8 stories tall and was a crustacean from the paleolithic era! I shouted back "God dammit Nessie! I ain't given you no tree fiddy!"

TL;DR: Drunk bets at a bar get us in trouble...

What do you call a cow without legs? Ground beef.

What's the difference between woman and batteries? Batteries have a positive side.

Posted by andstill
wait so the bartender was busyeyes?

el oh el

ba da dump !