The Dangers of Thinking

It started out innocently enough. I began to think at
parties now and then -- just to loosen up.


Inevitably, though, one thought led to another, and
soon I was more than just a social thinker. I began
to think alone -- "to relax," I told myself -- but I knew
it wasn't true. Thinking became more and more
important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time.


That was when things began to sour at home. One
evening I had turned off the TV and asked my wife
about the meaning of life. She spent that night at
her mother's.


I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself. I
began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read
Thoreau and Kafka. I would return to the office
dizzied and confused, asking, "What exactly is it we
are doing here?"


One day the boss called me in. He said, "Listen, I like
you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has
become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on
the job, you'll have to find another job."


This gave me a lot to think about. I came home early
after my conversation with the boss. "Honey," I confess,
"I've been thinking..."


"I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a
divorce!"
"But Honey, surely it's not that serious."
"It is serious," she said, lower lip a quiver. "You think
as much as college professors and college professors
don't make any money, so if you keep on thinking, we
won't have any money!"


"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently. She
exploded in tears of rage and frustration, but I was in
no mood to deal with the emotional drama. "I'm going
to the library," I snarled as I stomped out the door.


I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche.
I roared into the parking lot with NPR on the radio and
ran up to the big glass doors...


They didn't open. The library was closed.


To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking
out for me that night. Leaning on the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a Poster caught my eye, "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it asked.


You probably recognize that line. It comes from the
standard Thinkers Anonymous poster. This is why I
am what I am today: a recovering thinker.


I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch
a non-educational video; last week it was "Porky's."


Then we share experiences about how we avoided
th

It started out innocently enough. I began to think at
parties now and then -- just to loosen up.


Inevitably, though, one thought led to another, and
soon I was more than just a social thinker. I began
to think alone -- "to relax," I told myself -- but I knew
it wasn't true. Thinking became more and more
important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time.


That was when things began to sour at home. One
evening I had turned off the TV and asked my wife
about the meaning of life. She spent that night at
her mother's.


I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself. I
began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read
Thoreau and Kafka. I would return to the office
dizzied and confused, asking, "What exactly is it we
are doing here?"


One day the boss called me in. He said, "Listen, I like
you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has
become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on
the job, you'll have to find another job."


This gave me a lot to think about. I came home early
after my conversation with the boss. "Honey," I confess,
"I've been thinking..."


"I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a
divorce!"
"But Honey, surely it's not that serious."
"It is serious," she said, lower lip a quiver. "You think
as much as college professors and college professors
don't make any money, so if you keep on thinking, we
won't have any money!"


"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently. She
exploded in tears of rage and frustration, but I was in
no mood to deal with the emotional drama. "I'm going
to the library," I snarled as I stomped out the door.


I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche.
I roared into the parking lot with NPR on the radio and
ran up to the big glass doors...


They didn't open. The library was closed.


To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking
out for me that night. Leaning on the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a Poster caught my eye, "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it asked.


You probably recognize that line. It comes from the
standard Thinkers Anonymous poster. This is why I
am what I am today: a recovering thinker.


I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch
a non-educational video; last week it was "Porky's."


Then we share experiences about how we avoided
th

I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch
a non-educational video; last week it was "Porky's."


Then we share experiences about how we avoided
thinking since the last meeting. I still have my job, and
things are a lot better at home. Life just seemed...easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking.


I think the road to recovery is nearly complete for me.
Today I made the final step.


I registered to vote as a Republican.

Ignorance is bliss 🙂

._.

oi. that wayyyy to long to read. o.o

-is most deff not reading all this thread-