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Sounds like you haven't changed a bit, Catfish.
Just like years ago with the Virgo ... you completely overlook the reality of it.
In this case, it isn't a matter of how you feel, how you feel for him is irrelevant .. he is your boss, he is not available for anything except being your boss, and you have allowed some fanatical fantasy of him meaning more to cloud your judgement.
You aren't young, you have years of experience under your belt ... so when are you finally going to sweep the cobwebs out and come to reality?