DETACHED PISCES MAN...DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO....

I HAVE BEEN SEEING MY 1ST DECAN-MAR 1 PISCES MAN FOR A FEW MONTHS NOW AND I AM CONCERNED THAT HE IS SHOWING ME NO RECIPROCITY IN OUR FRIENDSHIP, RELATIONSHIP, WHATEVER THE HELL HE IS CALLING IT. I KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT HIM YET WHEN I ASK HIM THINGS SPECIFICALLY, HE NEVER DIRECTLY ANSWERS MY QUESTION WHICH MAKES ME FEEL LIKE HE IS NOT BEING HONEST WITH ME ABT ANYTHING. HE TELLS ME HE LIKES ME HE THINKS IM THE SH**, WHICH OF COURSE I HAVE TO AGREE, YET HE AND I ARE STILL IN THE SAME PLACE WE WERE WHEN WE MET...FRIEND STATUS...WITH BENEFITS. I TOLD HIM IN THE BEGINNING, MIDDLE, AND NOW... THAT I REALLY CARE FOR HIM AND WANT TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH HIM. I HAVE PUT MYSELF OUT THERE SO MANY TIMES FOR HIM THAT IT IS CRAZY AND HE KEEPS COMING BACK, JUST NOT OFTEN. JUST ENOUGH TO LET ME KNOW THAT HE IS STILL AROUND. HE TELLS ME THAT HE ISN'T GOING ANYWHERE AND THAT RIGHT NOW HE IS UNHAPPY AND NUMB FROM FEELING ANYTHING BUT IN THE SAME BREATH HE SAYS, WHEN I ASK "WHAT PART AM I SUPPOSED TO PLAY HERE THEN?" HE REPLIES, "MORE THAN A FRIEND, I GUESS". SMH...I TELL HIM THERE IS NO GUESSING JAY BIRD (THAT'S WHAT I CALL HIM) YOU HAVE TO KNOW"... HE TOLD ME THAT HE CAN'T MAKE ME HAPPY BUT I TOLD HIM THAT IT'S NOT ABOUT HIM MAKING ME HAPPY THAT'S NOT HIS JOB. NO ONE CAN MAKE YOU HAPPY BUT THEY CAN SHARE IN YOUR HAPPINESS WITH YOU!" I FINALLY ASK HIM, WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? HE TELLS ME TO "BE U".
I FEEL LIKE HIS SITUATION IS BRINGING HIM DOWN AND I KNOW THAT WHEN HE AND I ARE TOGETHER, HE IS HAPPY. HE TOLD ME THAT, PLUS I CAN FEEL THAT MYSELF. HOWEVER, HE IS REALLY STILL NOT TELLING ME WHAT HE FEELS ABOUT ME.I AM NOT TRYING TO BE SELFISH TO HIS PROBLEMS HE HAS BEEN UNHAPPY SINCE BEFORE WE MET AND HIS PROBLEM STILL EXISTS AS WE CONTINUE TO BE INVOLVED.
HE STILL HAS TOLD ME NOTHING ELSE EXCEPT THAT HE CAN'T FOCUS ON ANYTHING EXCEPT HIS PROBLEMS.SO WHERE DOES THAT LEAVE ME? LIKE WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THAT? I BEEN MESSING WITH YOU FOR MONTHS NOW...LIKE MY FEELINGS ARE ALMOST THERE AND ALL YOU CAN SAY IS YOU CAN'T FEEL ANYTHING FOR ME BECAUSE OF YOUR LIFE PROBLEMS? IM REALLY PISSED AND CONFUSED MOST OF ALL HURT BECAUSE I SEE SOMETHING GREAT BUT HE IS JUST NOT THERE. WHAT DO I DO? STAND DOWN? WALK AWAY? BE THERE FOR HIM? WAIT FOR HIM TO PULL UP HIS DAMN BOOT STRAPS AND MAN UP AND FIX HIS **KKING PROBLEMS, WHAT? I AM TORN. I REALLY DO CARE FOR HIM AND I WANT TO SHOW HIM I HAVE HIS BACK, BUT HE JUST WON'T LET ME. AM I BEING DECEIVED? SHOULD I LET GO?

@STARFISH...IDK I GUESS THAT IS THE MOTHER IN US..BUT YOU HAVE JUST CONFIRMED WHAT I WAS THINKING BECAUSE I DO CARE ENOUGH ABOUT HIM TO LET HIM GO AND FIGURE IT OUT FOR HIMSELF. I AGREE. IT IS A SAD SITUATION THOUGH. BUT I WILL TELL HIM AND THEN I WILL KEEP GOING. ONE THING, I FIND IT HARD TO REALLY GET INTO ANYONE ELSE BECUZ I ALREADY HAVE FEELINGS FOR HIM. SO I WONDER IF IM COMPROMISING MYSELF AGAIN...DID THAT FOR 15 YEARS WITH MY EX-BUT OLD HABITS DIE HARD..LOL...THANK YOU SISTER FOR YOUR ADVICE!

PEACE AND BLESSINGS

lol Gemini might not be a bad idea. and OMG this is the 2nd Libra post here that's killing my eyes.


I think you should not read too much into what he's doing. If his feelings for you are serious it would be crystal clear, no messing about.

he's just confused and you're smothering him, lol. even i feel smothered reading your post and i'm nowhere near you. just back off. and the way off. and then some more. if he's into you, he'll let you know.

Posted by DeadRingerr
*boundries*

boundaries

omg, the stupid Gemini didn't really do that


lol ... wtg Fay

Posted by LovelyLibra33

HE THINKS IM THE SH**, WHICH OF COURSE I HAVE TO AGREE

Full of yourself, are you?

A person who actually is the shit ... doesn't act needy and insecure, like you do here.


For the fact that you have to chase him around and act desperate means you aren't anywhere near being the shit.


I would suggest you get over yourself, and then after you have your ego in check ... you might want to try to check your insecurities.

I'm still trying to understand why any female would want to date a male Pisces. Ick

Posted by PiscesFebFish
I'm still trying to understand why any female would want to date a male Pisces. Ick

lol! really?

idk, it kinda works for me. But it seems I like pain, so....

Oh I can be a jackass.....big time!

Posted by Starfish225
Uh last I checked I was grown

yes you are...

Posted by Starfish225
can do as I please, when I please, how I please, where I please

click to expand

...yet this doesn't sound very grown

Pisces women are awesome🙂

I wasn't talking to you but okay..

Posted by Starfish225
Wouldnt want to be any other sign

I agree😄

"I KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT HIM YET WHEN I ASK HIM THINGS SPECIFICALLY, HE NEVER DIRECTLY ANSWERS MY QUESTION WHICH MAKES ME FEEL LIKE HE IS NOT BEING HONEST WITH ME ABT ANYTHING."

Something I've learned throughout my own understanding about men and relationships through other men is that when a woman "ASK" a man for a relationship she immediately appears needy, she also doesn't realize that when she "ASK" this relationship killer question is that the man literally hear make me happy "I'm not happy", I need a relationship to be happy, I need a relationship so bad I'm going to nag you to death to get one, I'm not happy unless you give me what I want and that darling can kill his attraction for you onsite. No longer is he interested in chasing you to get a relationship he's literally running in the opposite direction b/c he feel he's the only one responsible for your happiness.

My suggestion is to stop asking him for a real relationship, if you aren't happy with the choice you've made to be his friend with benefits then stop playing a role that doesn't add happiness into your life.

Something I read the other day about friends with benefits.

Men hear "friends with benefits" and to them, that
means sex without her crying about anything!

Women hear "friends with benefits" and they
think that means sex with emotional benefits...

A man is focusing on the BENEFIT part. The
"Friend" part means, "What a relief, she's not
officially my Girlfriend, so I don't owe her
anything...."

The benefit is for him not you....You may think and feel that he would be someone you could count on for emotional support but unfortunately that's the very thing men try to avoid in these kind of relationships so then you really feel short changed on the one sided nature of the relationship. You'll still have to go somewhere else like DXP or a friend etc for emotional support. If you aren't getting your needs met then you have every right to stop this relationship or renegotiate terms.

He's not confused, he just doesn't want what you want and at some point you'll have to come to terms with that. Him and his problems come first and unfortunately FWB situations promote and encourage SELFISHNESS and if you don't like being 2nd or last then stop encouraging this behavior and you can start by getting your power back by putting yourself and making YOU HAPPY first and then deciding if you still want/need this man around you.

Posted by Nights22

Posted by PiscesFebFish
I'm still trying to understand why any female would want to date a male Pisces. Ick

Cuz dating a Pisces female would be awesome.

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/pisces/pisces-did-a-libra-male-trick-me-2791915/
oh no wait. Who wants to date dumbasses?! s.m.h.

click to expand

Why are you referring to my post?

Posted by DeadRingerr

Posted by brianafay

Posted by DeadRingerr
*boundries*

boundaries

Thank you!! My spell check people are now officially on the clock😉

click to expand

you're welcome

looked like you were having a hard time *shrugs*

Lol whatever I was really trying to help you out, sorry it embarrassed you.

Posted by Nights22
They are. Tho you're the exception Lena!

Arent you a pisces?

Pisces are good people but sometimes they can be very moody and..I think plain weird,for non water signs.
Look at George Harrison (Beatles)..the documentary "Living in a Material World" shows that he's a womanizer and secretly has many lovers..

THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO GAVE ME THEIR OPINION OF THE SUBJECT HERE. I DEFINITELY AGREE WITH WHAT MANY OF YOU GUYS ARE SAYING ABOUT THIS RELATIONSHIP SITUATION. A COUPLE OF THINGS THOUGH, I NEVER ASKED HIM FOR A RELATIONSHIP, I ONLY ASKED HOW HE FELT ABOUT ME, MEANING, IS THERE A POSSIBILITY, BECAUSE I DO DATE OTHER PEOPLE, I JUST SO HAPPEN TO LIKE HIM THE MOST OUT OF THE BUNCH. NOW, I DO AGREE THAT MOST OF WHAT IS HAPPENING DOES BENEFIT HIM IN SOME SENSE, AND WHAT DOESN'T BENEFIT ME IN HIM, I FIND SOMEWHERE ELSE. I REALLY DON'T BELIEVE THAT I ASKED HIM FOR MUCH, JUST MORE TIME TOGETHER SO I CAN DECIDE IF I WANT TO GET TO KNOW HIM BEYOND WHAT THIS IS. I HAVE EXPRESSED THAT TO HIM. THE OTHER THING IS THAT I CANNOT ALLOW MYSELF TO LOOK FOR SOMEONE ELSE TO GIVE ME HAPPINESS BUT I CAN ASK FOR A COMPANION AND THAT IS ALL IM SAYING.DONT WANT TO BE WIFEY, BUT SINCE WE KICKIN IT, WHAT DO YOU THINK? THAT IS WHERE MY THOUGHT PROCESS IS.

I KNOW THAT THIS LETTER SOUNDED NEEDED AND STUFF BUT REALLY, I DON'T NEED HIS ATTENTION, I JUST "WANT" MORE OF "HIS" ATTENTION. THAT'S ALL, CUZ HE GIVES GREAT ATTENTION. I ALSO THINK THAT IF I DO ALLOW HIM TO GET AWAY WITH CERTAIN THINGS HE WOULD TRY TO BULL SHYT ME...AND I AM STILL THE SHYT, I DON'T NEED HIS APPROVAL FOR THAT...I JUST WANTED HIS TIME. DON'T NEED JUST WANTED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT HIM. I REALLIZE THAT TIME WILL TELL ALOT OF THINGS. SO TO ALL OF YOU GUYS, THANK YOU FOR YOUR INSIGHT! IT WAS GREAT TO READ! IT IS POSSIBLE THAT I SHOWED NEEDINESS WITH THIS PARTICULAR FELLOW, YET ITS NOT ITS JUST ME BEING MISUNDERSTOOD, WHICH PEOPLE TEND TO DO WITH LIBRAS. IN MY PAST EXPERIENCE WITH A PISCES MAN, WE HAD THE BEST RELATIONSHIP ON THE PLANET AND WE ARE STILL GREAT GREAT FRIENDS TIL THIS DAY. SO I AM IN NO WAY DOGGING OUT THE MAN. I AGREE WITH YOU ALL THAT THIS ISN'T EVEN ABOUT ME ITS ABOUT HIM. SO I HAVE TAKEN STEPS TO TURN THINGS AROUND FOR ME AND KEEP IT ABOUT ME!
STILL LEARNING THIS COURTING DATING STUFF AFTER BEING MARRIED FOR 15 YEARS, DIDN'T KNOW THAT DIVORCE COULD MAKE A PERSON SO EMOTIONALLY NEEDY..LOL...THANKS PISCES GROUP I ALWAYS ENJOY READING ABOUT YOU GUYS!

Posted by tiki33
"I KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT HIM YET WHEN I ASK HIM THINGS SPECIFICALLY, HE NEVER DIRECTLY ANSWERS MY QUESTION WHICH MAKES ME FEEL LIKE HE IS NOT BEING HONEST WITH ME ABT ANYTHING."

Something I've learned throughout my own understanding about men and relationships through

THAT IS VERY TRUE ABOUT PISCES MEN. MY LAST PISCES BOYFRIEND WAS SOOOO ATTENTIVE TO MY EVERYTHING! BUT THIS GUY, HE WILL DO WHAT I ASK AND IF I NEED SOMETHING HE WILL GET IT FOR ME. THAT I HAVE SEEN HIM BE CONSISTENT ABOUT. I DON'T HAVE ANY OTHER PROBLEM WITH HIM EXCEPT THAT I DON'T SEE HIM ENOUGH AND HE AVOIDS CERTAIN THINGS. ITS COOL WITH ME IF HE IS NOT THAT INTO ME, YA KNOW...I MEAN REALLY....IM FINE...ITS ALSO EVEN MORE COOL THAT HE DOESN'T NOT LIKE ME EITHER. I DONT CARE WHAT NO ONE SAYS, THAT MAN IS NOT GOING TO DRIVE AN HOUR TO SEE ME JUST FOR SOME ASS THAT HE CAN GET RIGHT THERE IN HIS HOME TOWN, SO THERE IS MORE TO THE PICTURE THAN WHAT HE IS SAYING.

Posted by piranhaparadiise
There's only going to be problems with us fishies male and female if we aren't that into you or we know you let us get away with things...

But then again I don't have time to be a big bad fish...I might have a blunt tongue and cut off people but hey hehe

And last I checked Pisces guys will do anything for their woman...that's why I like them...my experience...if you get one that won't he simply doesn't care about you either way...

THANKS TIKI, GREAT INSIGHT. I AGREE. I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THAT BECAUSE MAYBE HE HEARS "RELATIONSHIP" WHEN I AM SCREAMING, SPEND SOME TIME WITH ME, HAVE SOME MORE SEX WITH ME...LOL.... I REALLY DO NOT NAG HIM ABOUT A RELATIONSHIP. BUT IF YOU BEEN MESSING WITH SOME ONE FOR SEVERAL MONTHS, YOU WOULD THINK THAT SOMETHING WOULD CHANGE, INCLUDING A PERSON'S FEELINGS. SO I ASKED, AND SINCE I AM OF THE MASCULINE TRAIT, I CAN BE A BIT AGGRESSIVE, BUT THAT'S BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE TO MISUNDERSTANDINGS, AND ASSUMING. JUST TELL ME WHAT I WANT TO KNOW, NO MATTER HOW IT SOUNDS. THIS IS THE ISSUE THAT I THINK IS CAUSING COMMUNICATION PROBLEMS. HE THINK I WANT HIM TO BE MY MAN, WHEN WHAT I WANT IS TO SEE IF I WANT HIM AS MY MAN. CAN'T DO THAT IF WE AINT SEEING EACH OTHER. YA KNOW? BUT THANK YOU FOR YOUR WISDOM, AND I STILL KEEP MY OPTIONS OPEN UNTIL THE MAN THAT CAN DEAL WITH MY AGGRESSIVENESS COMES ALONG. BECAUSE, WHEN THE MAN IS RIGHT, THERE IS NO GUESSING, FROM EITHER SIDE. I ALSO KNOW THAT MY HAPPINESS DON'T COME FROM BEING WITH SOMEONE, IT COMES FROM LOVING BEING WITH ME AND LOVING MYSELF! I DO ENJOY HIS SEX AND HE IS FUNNY AND WE HAVE A WHOLE LOT OF THINGS IN COMMON, ITS ALMOST A LITTLE SCARY (NOT OVER EXAGERATING) THOUGH, THAT WOULD BE GREAT TO EXPERIENCE MORE OFTEN BUT....(SHRUG)...LMAO....ITS ALL GOOD STILL. THANK YOU AGAIN!




blockquote>Posted by tiki33
"I KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT HIM YET WHEN I ASK HIM THINGS SPECIFICALLY, HE NEVER DIRECTLY ANSWERS MY QUESTION WHICH MAKES ME FEEL LIKE HE IS NOT BEING HONEST WITH ME ABT ANYTHING."

Something I've learned throughout my own understanding about men and relationships through other men is that when a woman "ASK" a man for a relationship she immediately appears needy, she also doesn't realize that when she "ASK" this relationship killer question is that the man literally hear make me happy "I'm not happy", I need a relationship to be happy, I need a relationship so bad I'm going to nag you to death to get one, I'm not happy unless you give me what I want and that darling can kill his attraction for you onsite. No longer is he interested in chasing you to get a relationship he's literally running in the opposite direction b/c he feel he's the only one responsible for your happiness.

My suggestion is to stop asking him for a real relationship, if you aren't happy with the choice you've made to be his friend with benefits then stop playing a role that

Does he know that you are dating other men?

Posted by LovelyLibra33
HE THINK I WANT HIM TO BE MY MAN, WHEN WHAT I WANT IS TO SEE IF I WANT HIM AS MY MAN.

That's your ego talking. Don't try playing games with a Pisces. You know you want him... and he knows it too.

From my experience, if a Pisces is into you you're going to know it. without question. They will change alot of stuff to fit you into their lives without you asking for it. You may not get tons of affection on a regular basis or spilling of feelings and emotions (every fish is different) but there really won't be a question when it comes to sex. period.

and yeah... does he know you're seeing other guys?

Am I the ONLY person in the world who thinks that if a man wants you, he will want you regardless of sleeping with him on the first night, after 5 months, just being friends, in a long term relationship-Whatever. Leaving or staying has nothing to do with sex.

Posted by PiscesFebFish
Am I the ONLY person in the world who thinks that if a man wants you, he will want you regardless of sleeping with him on the first night, after 5 months, just being friends, in a long term relationship-Whatever. Leaving or staying has nothing to do with sex.

i agree with you somewhat. sex is not a bargaining chip. just do what you want. if there's gonna be a fallout, there'll be a fallout regardless of if you give up the cookies 5hrs or 5mths in. big deal. *yawns*

Posted by LovelyLibra33
MAYBE HE HEARS "RELATIONSHIP" WHEN I AM SCREAMING, SPEND SOME TIME WITH ME, HAVE SOME MORE SEX WITH ME...LOL.... I REALLY DO NOT NAG HIM ABOUT A RELATIONSHIP. BUT IF YOU BEEN MESSING WITH SOME ONE FOR SEVERAL MONTHS, YOU WOULD THINK THAT SOMETHING WOULD CHANGE, INCLUDING A PERSON'S FEELINGS.

I don't know if you were referring to my post FebPisces but this is the misconception I was talking about^^^^^. I don't think it's about WHEN you sleep with someone... i agree that a relationship grows from someone wanting a relationship with you, regardless of when you have sex.

But LovelyLibra seems to think that because she's having sex with this guy... somethings going to come from it... like a relationship.

If she's having to ask him to spend time with her and have more sex with her... chances are they are on two different pages.

I agree w/Nemesis. Friends only for Pisces men but even then I find them utterly annoying. I will not generalize but the ones I have come across are just such a waste.

Posted by nimbue

Posted by PiscesFebFish
Am I the ONLY person in the world who thinks that if a man wants you, he will want you regardless of sleeping with him on the first night, after 5 months, just being friends, in a long term relationship-Whatever. Leaving or staying has nothing to do with sex.

i agree with you somewhat. sex is not a bargaining chip. just do what you want. if there's gonna be a fallout, there'll be a fallout regardless of if you give up the cookies 5hrs or 5mths in. big deal. *yawns*

click to expand

I like this, so true.

Posted by Nights22
I wouldnt be able to cheat on or hurt Pisces females enough for them to be satisfied in a relationship so I think platonic is best.

I like this even more.

LovelyLibra33 you say "I want" but I hear "I need" and that's probably were the communication gap breaks down, although you say one thing he most likely is hearing something else. If you're dating other men then you really shouldn't appear so needy and desperate (so I wonder if you really are dating other men) because you appear very aggressive and needy, I can't confirm it but I'm forming the conclusion that you aren't dating anyone else that is interesting because you are pushing too hard to form something more romantic, maybe it's your hormones (nesting instincts), maybe you can't do FWB b/c honestly it's really hard for a woman to remain grounded when she's giving her body to a man or maybe you are out of the loop after 15 years of marriage and need to be coached on how to ease back into the dating scene or all of the above...hmmm I dunno

But for some reason you are pushing for more than what you are currently getting and it's literally killing any possibility for you to get more. I personally don't see anything wrong with you dating other men because it should help you slow down and give you the benefit of trying to get to know other men including your Pisces and figure things out with him but for some odd reason you are pushing for more than what he's available for and that would turn any guy off.

He has to want it way more than you want it or it'll never get off the ground nor move forward plus I don't ever think a woman will hit gold when she starts off as an FWB (I KNOW I KNOW a friend of a friend started out as FWB and got a commitment) LOL I hear that all the time but I just don't see too many women getting commitments after downgrading herself into an FWB situation with a man, there are exceptions but I just think it's very ass backwards to have sex with a guy in hopes he'll see the light and wifey you up, rarely happens.

With that being said....Tame your aggressiveness, it won't benefit you at all, you'll find yourself alone or with some wimpy lazy wimpy no backbone douche if you continue begging and chasing a man down for more intimacy.