fishmen: just for a laugh (at your expense however

Hope this doesn't piss you off too much...hehe. It makes mention of all of the worst and none of the best. There is one like it for every sign so don't kill me k? And I do know that there are a lot of really good fish in the sea.

Pisces (February 19-March 20)

'If I'm to be a chauvinist pig, I want to be number one pig.' Bobby Riggs (Born February 25)

He's a dreamboat who lives for romance, and his hypnotic charisma will leave you weak at the knees and breathless. He may be a visionary like Copernicus, or a joker a la Billy Crystal, but a Pisces man is intuitive, caring, and sympathetic. No other male in the universe is as capable of profound love and devotion. Unfortunately, he's so in love with himself that you don't stand a chance.

The male Fish is the emotional black hole of the universe. Toss your heart, soul, and car keys, and all will disappear forever. This guy learned at an appallingly young age how to weasel his way out of work and charm his way into bed. He's definitely sensual, sexy, and cute, in a debauched sort of way. Don't let the image fool you. At home he may be a quiet little Fish, swimming around and around the beer bottle, but romantically he is the great white shark of the zodiac. A Scorpio man will hurt you because he has a morbid fear of rejection. Your Pisces guy will do it just to keep his teeth sharpened. He's a natural born liar. And he's honed the art until he fools himself. Such as when he's perched on his favorite bar stool, watching the sports channel and ogling hot bodies, but telling himself he's gathering material for the novel he plans to write. The only thing this loser will ever write is a smeared phone number on his cocktail napkin.

He's self-destructive. He loves sex games. Feel free to wear your nurse's uniform but expect him to play patient, not doctor. Buy a dog collar and he will bark. Introduce him to your best friend if you dare, but don't leave them alone. He will have affairs anywhere, any time, with anyone who will hold still long enough. And with an icy detachment that rivals his Gemini cousin. The Fish can leave you full of his declarations of undying love, drive straight to his favourite watering hole, and pick up the first available body.

Don't expect your Fish to be the breadwinner. Some Pisces males start on a career path early, but if yours hasn't dropped the remote and picked up a degree by the time he's in his late twenties, forget it. You will end up with a ne'er-do-well who thinks making his fortune means winning the lottery, and that reality TV is culturally educational.

If you are a Virgo with a job, house, and cheque book, or a Cancer who doesn't mind playing nursemaid for the rest of your life, this guy was meant for you. He's tedious. He has a compulsion to use the same cliches he's used since high school and will invariably run a subject straight into the ground in the shortest possible time. Telling him he's not funny only eggs him on, because he's not after your laughter: he's out to provoke you.

All bluff and no substance, Mr Fish is a cast of thousands and even he doesn't know what scene he'll play next. But since he does like role-playing, you could pretend you're the Lone Ranger and ride into the sunset.

hahaha, what about the girls— only men? that's unfair! 😛

2 sharks swimming in opposite directions:

A smeared phone number on his chicken tail napkin ha ha ha that's kinda funny. Ms. S who the hell have you been seeing? I detect exasperation,admiration,and disgust,the other piscean guys,myself included that I know are anything but tedious and cliche driven. You've definately been dating some bottom feeders,come on up to the warm water,sunfish,you ever seen salmon spawning swimming up river leaping in the air determined beautiful sun glistening off their scales crating rainbow colors,avoiding bears and the like. You ever seen a Marlin hooked fighting for life,dragging the line the fisherman and the boat all day long leaping and twisting a swordfish dance. We're not all docile losers. By the way I like being the doctor cause I like giving examinations with my little nurse assistant by my side.

I used to LOVE to play doctor in elementary school...hmmmm. Keef- you need to come over and give me a check-up - STAT (that nurse better be cute too)

Hi Schoen: I was wondering if you would share what website you got that post off of. I would love to check out the site.

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmkay

I don't have it bookmarked but try googling "blame it on his star sign" you should prolly find it : )

hmm this sound like a pisces friend i once had
used to piss me off

then he met a scorpio girl
now i dont see him anymore

and scorpio girl is dateless
i think she killed him

i should go buy her a present

thanks! I shall require a brand new BMW! : ) (you may choose the model...I trust you have good taste)

-Schoene

schoenetanz

i didnt know you were still up
im pulling an allnighter

🙂

whats you name mean?

all i know i want the M5

i wanted the M6 but the 911 Turbo is so good even though its ugly

if you have $ 120,000 CDN plus tax and extras which is comes $ 150,000 canadian
enjoy your ride
that and remember the dreaded iDrive

thanks schoen, I found it.

😢

Cl

y so glum chum?

how are little chuddies?

Ill, I have to say, I was hoping you would get me the z8...but I won't complain...

the Z8 is sold out

i can get one but theres gonna be red paint all over it
and itll be in need of a paint job, a a good detergent bath and new license plates

first no fresca in the soda machine...and now this!? *exasperated sigh* Some days just don't get any worse...

I guess I could settle for the M6- even though it is not nearly as hot and has that stupid republican-looking split grill.

beautiful dancer

wait for the Z10

so how was a egg chucking?

I knew you would get it 😉

Actually, the correct grammar would be shoener Tanz (beautiful dance) but I like the sound of shoenE better- it is also fem gender case whereas shoenER describes male nouns...thats yer german quickie lesson for today!

The problem is...I throw like a girl...having an epileptic seizure (missed again?) but I'm saving up a stash for later when I can get a good pitcher to come over and give me a hand.

Now YOU- whazup with "Illmatic" ?

schoenetanz

I knew you would get it
...yeah only scorp girls will make a man put up the effort of finding something out about them when they could have just told me
then they call me a stalker

Actually, the correct grammar would be shoener Tanz (beautiful dance) but I like the sound of shoenE better- it is also fem gender case whereas shoenER describes male nouns...thats yer german quickie lesson for today!

>>>i was actually applying logic here
it sounded plain dumb to say beautiful dance
as opposed to dancer as your pics indicate

The problem is...I throw like a girl...having an epileptic seizure (missed again?) but I'm saving up a stash for later when I can get a good pitcher to come over and give me a hand.

depends is it a mission to get to your place
get a paintball gun or a airgun from walmart
and get a scope and pick off irish people at the safety of your own home

Now YOU- whazup with "Illmatic" ?

im guessing you dont listen to rap

its an album by Nas(virgo)

its a classic and a jem to listen to

no ho's no bling just a straight out verbal assault from a verbal assasin

the album put a more human light on the causes of gangster rap instead of the animalistic tone of NWA

so ive bored you beyonf belief

and tonights the paddys after party

at least here it is

its only saturday

i would still be drunk

Hey stalker!

Hope I didn't insult with the lesson...

And I do listen to rap- but I prefer the mass-poppy gangsta stuff like 50.

I guess you didn't get the "whazup" - I was asking about the real you...so is life a bitch or what?

"Hey stalker!

Hope I didn't insult with the lesson...

And I do listen to rap- but I prefer the mass-poppy gangsta stuff like 50.

I guess you didn't get the "whazup" - I was asking about the real you...so is life a bitch or what?"

hey stalkee

no u didnt insult i was refering to it indirectly as dumb i could have incorrect but dumb was easier to type

50 uh
redeem yourself by listening to game

lifes a bitch? is a play on words my pet?

I'm probably going to be up for a while writing- while alternately dicking around on the internet so that the frequent writer's block doesn't get the chance to clot in my brain. So thanks for helping. You are a delightful anti-clotting device.

In any event- it is a PLEASURE stalking you! Shall we? Nono I mean- come get me 😉

You were about to tell me about the real Ill?

writers block?
anti clotting device??
is that all i am to you? 😢

i would get get you but you have a good lock
so for now move 2 feet closer to the window

and i gotta study you like good stalker
you might pull some home alone shit on me

You were about to tell me about the real Ill?

whos stalking who now?

well lets see

im brown
uh hmm i think i have some type of russian, german or nordic ancestry
im bengali
i have constant 5 o'clock shadow(the homer simpson syndrome i call it)
im a pisces as you can tell

now my turn

how old are you and how german are you?

"writers block?
anti clotting device??
is that all i am to you?"

I may, at any moment, be far more interested than I want you to know...

"and i gotta study you like good stalker
you might pull some home alone shit on me"

yeah- be very afraid *checks fingernails for foreign blood*

looky you!

MMMMuhuh- please don't make me tell anything too personal on this highly public message board.

Let a Scorp have her mystery- makes her feel special 🙂

"I may, at any moment, be far more interested than I want you to know...
yeah- be very afraid *checks fingernails for foreign blood*"

well you gotta let me in its cold and ive been hiding behind this bush all daya dn dogs keep using me as a urinal

"looky you!
MMMMuhuh- please don't make me tell anything too personal on this highly public message board.
Let a Scorp have her mystery- makes her feel special"

i bet fr?ulein besides this site had its fair share of embarrassing shit
at least tell me how old you are?unless that go against the scorpio womans guide to attracting a man then eating his flesh

why do i sense your a black widow

*flips to page 10 of "The Scorpio Woman's Guide to Attracting a Man, Then Eating His Flesh"*

Mmmmmmmnoooop says right here in the bottom paragraph that, ahem *clears throat* "one is strictly prohibited from divulging the truth (I can still lie- oh goody!) about one's age, relative Germaness or preferred brand of toilet paper-"

Now, I have yet to consult the Black Widow's manual- we MIGHT get some flex outta that one.

In the mean time...I'm sure all this stalking has you exhausted by now...
So I guess I say Gut Nacht?

-Schoene

Gut Nacht?

for you maybe i got aton of hw from march break im still finishing

gut nacht fr?ulein

have fun dreaming about invading poland

I met a lot of resistance in Poland. There were hermit crabs everywhere. They tried to eat my eyeballs.

debauched........yes somewhat, I'm getting better though.

"I met a lot of resistance in Poland. There were hermit crabs everywhere. They tried to eat my eyeballs."

Just imagine being a man out there. You eventually might lose your d!ck.

2 sharks swimming in opposite directions:

Haffo,where in the hell are you man? run,run haffo,grab your dick and run to the nearest american embassy. avoid the hermit crabs at all cost.

schoenet......its hard to write in german allright!

"I met a lot of resistance in Poland. There were hermit crabs everywhere. They tried to eat my eyeballs."

i never knew hermit crabs lived on the "sunny""warm" beaches of poland. reminds me of the last scorpio girl who left to conquer the polish sausage. she never came back but i hear shes very happy

That was what was so STRANGE! I usually ALWAYS conquer Poland in my dreams and hermit crabs almost never go there- (except if there is some kind of budget-oriented vacation package to lure them-though they are more likely to be seen on the Italian coast...sunning themselves in skimpy shells *rolls eyes*) but dreams can be so odd.

Btw- haffo and keef...most hermit crabs will only eat the foreskin...so if yer trimmed you really have nothing to worry about. 🙂

"That was what was so STRANGE! I usually ALWAYS conquer Poland in my dreams and hermit crabs almost never go there- (except if there is some kind of budget-oriented vacation package to lure them-though they are more likely to be seen on the Italian coast...sunning themselves in skimpy shells *rolls eyes*) but dreams can be so odd."

all i can say is...

HAHA YOU HAVE CRABS *POINTS*

they don't like it when you point- K—?? you are hurting their feelings!

FOR SHAME *in Stimpy's voice*

i wasnt pointing at the crabs

anyway crabs look tasty, this fishy's gotta eat