Haffo got a girlfriend!! (Page 2)

BJ:

I didnt expect her to open up right away. But I need from her at least the willing to try to work on it. She didnt and I said her go.

haffo, what was sooo horrible about her, that she needed to work on it straight a way?

Lizuana:🙂

She wanted that that relationships should be centered around her. She didn't replied to my phone calls many times. And when I she did, I asked her why she didnt answer and she didnt give me answer. She just jump on the next topic. WTF? She ignore me— The relationship takes two person, not one. If she has something important that stops her doing something about us, then I asked her to tell me. No answer. Why she act like that? No answer. What you want from me? No answer....

What you want me to do next?

yeah, i wouldn't want to chase after a girl forever... but if you still like her why not experiment a bit and go along with her 'games'!?!? as i understand it, she doesn't ignore YOU, but only certain questions. next time she ignores a question, just leave it for later. don't forget about it, but leave it for later.
plus, take the lead = suggest how you two should spend time together, don't wait for her to take the initiative, i.e. if you want to take her to a concert or to the movies, call her and say so! if you want to just hang out together, suggest that, too. experiment and see what happens.
it depends on how much you like her, really. if you like her a lot, try again. if she gives off a bad vibe or never has time for you, forget about her...

Yeah Lizuana: 🙂

I was there. Actually leaving my lead to her (when she asked to go slow 🙂) was the part of experimenting. Well, perhaps this cannot be called as exprimenting. Every person is different after all. Everything you do with them is experimenting. If you call this like that then you might end up experimenting all your life 🙂 Anyway. When she took the lead (I dont think this is proper way to say it, lets say the relationship was improving on her "vibe") she didnt bring anything new. Literally nothing. She brought no suggestions for anything...nothing. This is where I decided that this leaving the relationship to her vibe part was wrong. There is no visible "vibe" of her after all. Then I started asking her questions about what she thinks and what she wants. This was the part when she didnt answer to my questions and I've decided that: She want to go by her vibe .... Ok!....She don't answer to the questions....Ok! What is the result? A halted relationship. What is the solution? Either make her face with her problems or leave her.

I did both. I made her face with her problems (This is where you was asking about making her suggestions etc) but she didnt responded positive. Then I did the last option.

Also, I already wasn't asking alot of questions and was writing them to my memory etc. But when I realised that there is no chance to discharge that silence part with her (she didnt respond to my questions) the situation was starting to become a great emotional burden. My behaviours started to change. What for? For a woman? There is alot of woman in the world. Why should I stuck myself with an immature and stupid one?

ok, as i said, it depends on how much you like her. if you get the impression that you two aren?t good together...
i just think that three days is just too little time to tell. but that's my opinion.
keep us posted!

Hey I liked her. I wasnt like toying with her at all. But when my feelings was starting to turn into hate, I stopped it.

never suggested you were playing with her! on the contrary, i thought, and i don't seem to be the only one with that opinion, that you are too impatient.
but that's really no aggressive criticism, just my opinion. you know best what's good for you and what isn't!!! besides i only can assume from a distance, which is no good really!

🙂

Lizuana:

I didnt mean anything about you being telling me that I am playing with her. What I said above was only to show you how serious I was in my intentions about her and what would be my motives about her if she agreed to work on building something serious. Also I don't really know why you think that I am impatient about her, but when I tell to her that I will allow myself to follow your vibe and ask her on the next day about what she want to do and not receive any answer or even any sign of willingness about working on this new situation, I simply know what kind of person she really is.

Haffo,

Personally I think with that attitude you will never get a girlfriend. First of all you have only known the girl for a very short time...who are you to call her stupid and immature? Who are you to say that she has so many problems that she won't fix? Maybe she LIKES the person that she is and HONESTLY I don't think you took time enough to get to know her. I don't care WHAT you say...you are making vast and demeaning judgements about a girl you were only "coupled" with for three days? COME ON!

As a matter of fact, you said she wanted to be friends after the first date so in my eyes YOU were trying to make it into something it was not. THEN you accuse her of running from you...obviously you were too something for her and she might have changed her mind. Perhaps she is looking at YOU like you have too many issues for her to deal with which I can fully understand.

To me a person who does nothing but blames the other person for the "break-up" is more immature because they see themselves as perfect which NOBODY is. I think you need to do some self reflection and figure out WHY you are the 26 year old virgin.

Cancerlady

Oh and by the way...that WAS aggressive criticism. You have some serious issues dude!

CL

I have to agree with CL. Haffo, you tend to be very judgemental and I can see that it may cause you a lot of grief in your life. I can tell just from the things that you write on this board that you have a hell of a lot of growing up to do.

Maturity comes with life experience. It's about hitting rock bottom, learning from your mistakes and correcting them. The first step is recognizing your own faults (which is something you don't SEEM to do very often) rather than finding someone else to blame. This is the only way a person can truely grow.

Sounds to me like you need to work out what a relationship is before you can start singing to the masses that you're in one. Dude, you haven't even scratched the surface. A relationship takes two people. If you were in a relationship, she would have answered your calls.

woooo boy us CAncers can pincccccch,when we speak our mind,lol@CL. And i agree with Miss CL on the part that u being judgemental,3 days— HUH?what new situation? Man o man u rushing things. And i thought pisces like to take their time. I know sometimes they get to the point in sexual realtions. And dat mood change did u show her your anger, i reeeeeaaaallly hope not. I'm saying don't change,cause haffo is haffo but why da hell u asking those questions. ARe u interrogating her,lol. Man jus have fun and that is what part of life is,having fun. When u being too agressive early in the game u will scare her. And if u continue on dat down the road with every female ,and U FEEL that no one aint good enuff fo u then u would be Virgin fo aaaa goood while.

Hi
I am a bit late on this. I have heard lot of people pay glowing tributes to Leo Woman. Yes. She needs that. Being a Leo moon myself I know that I nedd to be the centre of the universe of the "special one". And I have read somewhere too. "Leo woman is avery very special woman...a woman in full bloom". Now if that is the case then i would say that it is too soon to decide on any person so soon. People can knwo each other for years and yet feel liek they dont know each ohter.
Leos are real softies at heart. I know it too well . I have mentioned earlier too that i was marrie dto one for 12 years. it is a long time. Leos will giv eyou the green signal if they realise that you are the one fit to occupy hte throne beside them and help them to rule. LOL. It is atall order to measure upto their standards. but they are worth it if they love you.

CL:

"Maybe she LIKES the person that she is and HONESTLY I don't think you took time enough to get to know her. I don't care WHAT you say...you are making vast and demeaning judgements about a girl you were only "coupled" with for three days? COME ON!"

If she likes to be the person that she is then I have no problems. When it comes to me, I need answers. If she doesn't like to give answers then I have the right to think that this person is no different for me than any other person that is on the street. Are we agree on that?

"As a matter of fact, you said she wanted to be friends after the first date so in my eyes YOU were trying to make it into something it was not. THEN you accuse her of running from you...obviously you were too something for her and she might have changed her mind. Perhaps she is looking at YOU like you have too many issues for her to deal with which I can fully understand."

Maybe I expected from her too much. But what I was asking to her actually wasn't anything like "you are my woman". I was asking her something like that: "What do you want to do?".

BJ:

"Sounds to me like you need to work out what a relationship is before you can start singing to the masses that you're in one. Dude, you haven't even scratched the surface. A relationship takes two people. If you were in a relationship, she would have answered your calls."

Does the meaning "We are going too fast" means that we were in the relationship? Yes? No?

Daemon:

"I'm saying don't change,cause haffo is haffo but why da hell u asking those questions. ARe u interrogating her,lol."

The relationship between two people means that they responsible to each other (at least in question-answer part) to some degree that actually makes them different to each other than anyone on the street. Are we agree on that? So, if we were on the relationship then I have the right to rely on her responsibility towards me. If she refuses to take responsibility of the relationship then she either not in the relationship (fake outlook) or she's toying with me. In either cases SHE'S NOT WITH ME.

Daemon:

"And if u continue on dat down the road with every female ,and U FEEL that no one aint good enuff fo u then u would be Virgin fo aaaa goood while."

Perhaps having 2-3 really meaning relationships on whole your life is much better than less meaningfull ones? Who has less respect towards themselves and allow the person in front of them to act irresponsible to them is better?

Looneybird:

All what you've said is appliable to them only when they accepted the responsibility of the relationship.

I still say you are going to have to lighten up...people are bound to disappoint you in some ways. There had to have been a reason you liked her in the first place but you are focusing on the things you don't like about her.

Chill out and go with the flow sometimes...maybe she just isn't ready to let you into every aspect of her life...

CL

" Chill out and go with the flow sometimes...maybe she just isn't ready to let you into every aspect of her life..."

Go with flow? Which flow? The flow of my own disillusions? Thanks but no thanks, I have enough problems elsewhere already. Why should I accept a new burnen?

What is it so hard to do? To tell what is the problem? That is what was hard for her to do? Isnt this is stupid?

burden*

3 days,u "know"this lady and u calling her a burden?LOL,oweeee,anyways. Time to move on. She not there now, a new search begins. there was an old burden?

I didn't mean just with her Haffo, I mean in general...

"I didn't mean just with her Haffo, I mean in general..."

What problems do you see in me with others? Do you really think that I dont see good sides in people? If so, then what do you think it is on the Taurus forum? Is this really a sign of someone who dont know how to act with people? Tell me.

Haffo:
"Does the meaning "We are going too fast" means that we were in the relationship? Yes? No?"

No!!! "We're going too fast" means "I'm not ready to get into a relationship with you".
Sometimes people like to stand back and get a feel for a situation before they jump into a relationship. I get the feeling you rushed her and she backed da fuk up!!

If there is one thing I've learned in life it's that you can't pressure people in any situation. If you do you'll very rarely get what you're after.

BJ:

Well in that case I did the right choice. She wanted to waste my time and I didnt allowed it. Just fine. Good good.

Freebird:

"Yeah...sure, she wants to go slow - I don't buy it my friend! She is FIRE...well, wait a min,...fire does begin with a slow burn - it needs to be *ignited* (that would be YOUR job) and THEN....the fire will blaze with a ROARING rage and there will be NO holding her or YOU back!"

Yeah. I guess I know what you mean. Sexy behaviours instead words isn't it?

BJ:

What you've said is actually contradiction to many people on this board. I've seen many people using "we are going too fast" on this board and it meant the relationship. But there is difference: They just dont want to go it fast. But that doesnt mean they are not in the relationship. Otherwise it wouldnt be used as "We", because there is no "We" in what you've said.

What ever Haffo, once again you are right. All of a sudden you're an expert on the subject. There is nothing in what you've written on this topic that convinces me you were in a relationship (or at least she was in one with you). 3 days of "we're moving too fast" and her neglecting to answer your calls? Doesn't resemble any RELATIONSHIP I've ever been in.

Do you think you will look back at this one day as a relationship? I wouldn't but you probably will.

If one day you do start seeing another girl and she asks you whether you've been in a relationship before and you say "yes, 3 days" (I'm laughing at how ridiculous that sounds) I think once she stopped laughing, she would probably start running for the hills.

At the end of the day, I couldn't give two knobs of goat sh-t about what you believe to be a relationship Haffo but if you want to prove me wrong ask the people on this board.

I've just tried to give some advice but you seem to know everything already.

BJ:

First of all:

If you want to start to talk BS, then you better find someone else to do so.

Second:

I dont give a damn what you believe of it whereither it was a relationship or not. One thing is obvious for me about you is that you dont know any better way to handle the situation than I did.

Third:

If you speak about everything and everyone accept what you've said is good, but when someone points out something inconsisten about you and then disagrees then they are bad people? What kind of logic is that—

Forth:

If a girl will run after I told her that I had 3 days relationship, then I will be the most happy person in the world. Why? Because A STUPID PERSON WHO JUDGE ABOUT LIKE THAT HAS NO WORTH FOR YOU!!! Go figure.

sorry haffo, but BJ is right. three days are just too short, and that's a fact! it's not because we say it's too short, it just IS. just like if you placed your bare hand in the flames of a fire and kept it there for a while, you'd burn yourself badly. and not because i say so or because it's my opinion, but because it's the way it is. it's a fact!

but then again, you need to make your own experiences, good or bad, and learn from them. it's a lot better than to be told by others what's wrong or right.

has she called you again, btw.? i bet she will at some point! so, when she calls and if you like her, take it as a sign and don?t mess it up again! hehehe, me being a smart ass again, and i said before that it's better to make your own experiences, than to be told by others what's wrong or right... LOL

Lizzo:

"sorry haffo, but BJ is right. three days are just too short, and that's a fact! it's not because we say it's too short, it just IS. just like if you placed your bare hand in the flames of a fire and kept it there for a while, you'd burn yourself badly. and not because i say so or because it's my opinion, but because it's the way it is. it's a fact!"

What do you think I dont know about her yet? What make you think that I didn't let her show herself in 3 days? What do you see in me that I miss in my judgement? You simply saying that 3 days is not enough. That doesn make any sense. You say that I need to keep my finger on fire enough time to feel burned. What make you think that I didnt felt burned in those 3 days? What are those criterias you try to show me about someone before you decide to move on? My personal viewpoint says that I did for her everything. I showed her all ways that she could use. What do you think I should do more? She didnt used any of them. She just ignored them. Why should I give her another chance? What is the point?

Here's a hypothetical situation:

Let's say you start working a new job. The first day you are shown your desk, introduced to your co-workers, given information about company policy, and partially trained on the systems you plan to use. The 2nd day is similar to the first in terms of orientation. On the close of the 3rd day, your manager calls you in and says, "you're fired.."

The manager explains to you that he doesn't see any progress in your work, you haven't bonded with any of your co-workers, and he knows everything there is to know about you as an employee...

Is it fair? I would think not... but who knows all of the motives of others?

I'll admit, I know nothing about this person you decided to date- but from the outside looking in--knowing what I know about you.. and knowing NOTHING about this other person, it doesn't seem like you gave her a fair shot.

Maybe you're right... perhaps she was playing games- or she was arrogant.. silly.. or too shy.. who knows—...I don't. Also, if she was all of these things, and she didn't appeal to you- then moving on was a good idea .

BUT...

I think what confused us all (at the very least, myself) is that you called this 3-day-date ....a relationship. You refered to her as your girlfriend.. in which case, most of us thought you've already gone through the early steps of getting to know this person. For many of us, a relationship is something you have with a person you already KNOW (at least on a very surface level)... and you commit to them because what you think you know about this person-- you LIKE.. A LOT...!!!

In my experience, before considering a person a potential mate- a boyfriend (or whatever), I can spend weeks-- or possibly months.. having lunches, talking on the phone, going to the movies, or spending time with this person as FRIENDS... BEFORE I even begin to consider becoming more. To me, it seemed like you met her, kinda got to know her-- realized she wasn't what you were looking for and moved on. That's ok, but I wouldn't call it a relationship.

Moreover, when someone says, "we're moving too fast..", it generally means, I'm not ready for the next step-- I'm not ready to open up this much.. or I want to get to know you better before I commit. People can say this when they our IN or OUT of a relationship (the terminology is not strictly confined to lovers).

Was it or wasn't it a relationship? Ultimately, haffo, up to you to decide... of course. It's your life, and regardless of whatever is posted here- you will turn off the computer and continue living it... however, I figure you post these aspects of your life because you want to discuss them. You want to hear the ideas and opinions of others and offer responses.

ST😱

Thank you very much. The point with employer-employee is not that I've fired her right away. I gave her chance. I made her sure that I've gave her chance. But she clearly ignored my efforts towards her, and this is where I've decided that she doesn't worth any further efforts.

Yes you're right. We wasn't in the relationship. We was just friends (Topic name itself states the situation "Haffo got a girlfriend"). I never said that I was in the relationship with her. This is BJ who thrown this into the conversation and tried to obligue me with something like this is my public carisma etc. and if I screw this up I will have to feel myself bad etc. Where this came from? Anyway. I've posted this topic with that exact title because we mutually agreed to be friends. So, what I've said on the topic name isn't wrong.

Ugh. I've read the topic again and found that I've messed the meanings of words again.

BJ:

What've used as relationship wasn't the relationship in the true meaning. When I've used the relationship I've used it as a any type human relations to each other (not supposedly sexual etc). I'm sorry for that mess.