Humor

The Pisces Character Portrait

Everywhere you go, laughter and comedy ensue. This would be great if you were trying to be funny.

You are deeply confused by the idea of sex. As far as you are concerned, if it didn't happen in "The Velveteen Rabbit", it doesn't exist.

Piscean women wear long floaty dresses and enormous amounts of unusual silver jewelry.
On hikes.

Pisceans claim to love the stars, but the only constellation they can find is the Big Dipper. If they cannot find it, they cry.

You remember what you were wearing on March 3rd, 1981 but forget your own address. You have no sense of direction. The people you find going in reverse at 70 m.p.h. on the expressway are usually Pisceans.

Pisceans are most likely to die by falling out of a window or getting run over by a truck. That is, of course, unless they live with a Cancer. Pisceans are so zoned and perpetually endangered that they can bring out the maternal instincts of a Leo. Don't be fooled, however; many Pisceans can surprise you by kicking your ass and the asses of your four imaginary friends.

While Leos tend to achieve the most fame in the field of entertainment, Pisceans strive to achieve historical greatness by sheer fluke. They are proud to tell you that Michelangelo, Galileo, George Washington, and Albert Einstein, none of whom had an agent, were all Pisceans. What they won't tell you is that so is Ted Kennedy.

Pisceans claim to want "honest criticism" of their work. Then they commit hara-kiri on the floor when you say you don't like it.

Never try to use logic with a Pisces; he or she is living about three feet off of the natural ground or in Narnia. Their tools of debate are non-sequiturs, quotes from Elizabeth Barrett Browning, and, of course, crying.

It wouldn't matter what linguistic devices Pisceans use to describe philosophical concepts because they aren't positive they know what they're talking about anyway.

You cry over dead animals in the road but feel no remorse about mowing down humans you don't like.

Cancerians say one thing and do another. Scorpios say one thing and do it just for spite. Pisceans say far too much and do whatever the hell they want.

Thanks- I love them too.

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Hehe...

Good stuff, quite funny. 🙂

My only question is, what's wrong with wearing enormous amounts of silver jewelery on hikes? LOL...that's something I would do. 😛

lol i love silver jewelry. I wouldn't purposely wear it on hikes but I might "forget" I had it on.

LOL! Same here Gwendylyn...I've actually "forgotten" to take off my jewelery in the most anti-jewelry situations, i.e, working out, swimming, doing yardwork...lol! I'm such a dork

lol me too. But atleast we know we're dorks. It's worse to be a dork and not know it.

so very true~the unaware dorks are the worst.

check this out (one of my favorite sayings):

He who knows not,
and knows not that he knows not,
is a fool;
shun him.

(Persian Proverb)

I like that the first part of that proverb, you could reverse it and it would mean the same thing: He who thinks he knows everything, but doesn't know jackbutter, is a fool...of course, at this point, I would say, "flog him"...but the p.c. people would cry. lol

lol i've seen lots of proverbs like that. One of my favorites is Shakespeare's "The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool"

Right on!! Love it!