Monumental Disaster.

Hi everyone,

Can't say I really believe in astrology but sometimes the things I read about my sign, Aquarius, are spot on. I'm interested to learn more about pisces woman, cos my relationship has turned rather sour lately.


So here's my story... Three year relationship with a wonderful woman. We're both 45. Back in February she dumps me. Says our relationship is not working. I'm like, "What do you mean it's not working — I thought it was going fine." Sure, we had some disagreements and some fights but that's normal.

Anyway, I did not take it well. Sent long angry abusive emails. If we got together to talk, I would lose my temper and then she wouldn't want to talk any more. After two months of banging my head against a brick wall I started to think, OK it's over. Time to move on. So I started looking at some dating websites and went out for dinner with a woman... and then after dinner to a bar for a drink and then later, back to her place and, well... you can guess the rest. This was not a good experience for me. Only served to convince me more that I wanted to get back with my ex, but it still looked like that was never going to happen.

Until one day back at the beginning of May.

I'm round at her flat for a coffee and I'm saying we can still be friends, yes?
As I stood up to go I said, "Come give me a hug.." Hug turned to kisses and suddenly we're back on. From the hallway to the bedroom.
So, of course, I was very happy. The next day we're in bed at night and she tells me that she went out with another guy... just for a drink. What do I think?
I said, "What you do with other guys when our relationship is finished is none of my business."

Now we know what's coming, don't we?

"...and you? Have you been out with anyone else?"

Now, because I love this woman and I don't want a relationship which is based on a lie, I told her the truth. Yes I went out with someone and we had sex, but don't worry, it was rubbish.

She turned her back on me and I thought it was probably best if I leave, with a few angry words to the effect of, "If you don't like the answer, don't ask the question."

Next day, of course, our relationship was off again. So now I'm really angry... again!
At first I was trying to justify what I did, saying, "You finished with me, remember? I can do what I like! You finish with me, of course I'm going to go with somebody else. What did you expect?"

That didn't wash. And nothing I've said since has washed eithe

Oh, is there a limit on post length ?

here's part 2...

I said, "OK, it doesn't matter if our relationship was finished or not. All that matters is I've hurt you, which is the last thing I ever want to do, and I'm sorry. I got down on my knees and begged her not to dump me again over this. No go!

So what have we got here ? After three months of listening to her saying we would never get back together, suddenly we did.
After thinking that she doesn't care about me or about our relationship, it seems that she does/did. But I've thrown an enormous spanner in the works by going with somebody else. We're pretty much back exactly where we were before. I say we can still be friends and I hope that one day, she'll come back to me, except now we've got this added problem.


She says that because I went with somebody else, I don't really love her. If I loved her, I wouldn't be capable of having sex with somebody else. A lot of what she says is that all men are the same, only interested in sex, and I've just proved that I'm no different to all the rest.

I tell her I love her now and she's like "Yeah, right!"

I'm determined that from now on I'm not going to get angry any more. That really doesn't help. But I'm at a loss to know what positive things I can do. So frustrating to lose the one you love and there's NOTHING you can do about it.
All I can do is be patient. I hope that in time, she will see that I still love her and then maybe she will come back. Unfortunately, I haven't been very good at the being patient part.
I was sending more whiney emails. Trying not to write anything angry, but they were all something along the lines of... "Why are treating me like this? It's not fair." etc etc

Last night I got told not to send any more messages and it was clearly the last communication there will be for a while. Obviously, I need to step back. I have to give it a few weeks, or even months and then see where we are.

Does anybody see the pisces in this ?



Anyway, that's about it. I welcome any comments. Anybody been in the same situation? Anybody got a magic wand ?

We Pisces need someone who is emotionally stable, which you are not. From your post you come across like a child that is throwing a temper tantrum, you're 45 years old for goodness sakes. Chances are she didn't take things too far on her date because she knew that she was not over you and she didn't want to take things that far out of concern for you. You on the other-hand had no problem getting it on with some one else. Yes, you guys were over, I can see your side on that, but I can also see her side of things. The fact that you so easily went from her to someone else makes her feel like she isn't special to you. She probably feels like "oh well I guess I'm not as irreplaceable to him and as special to him as I thought". Actions speak louder than words to us Pisces, generally speaking.

Your actions: you've sent her hateful emails in a fit of rage, you had sex with another woman, rather than understanding her side of things, and how she felt in that instant of learning about said event you got defensive and lashed out at her basically telling her "don't ask if you don't want to know the answer" as if it is HER fault for asking when it is YOU that did the deed, you are sending her emails trying to emotionally manipulate her to come back to you saying "why are you treating me like this" like you are some blameless victim in this situation. Doesn't sound very "loving" from where I'm sitting.

A Pisces needs to know that they can count on you, we need to feel special, and more than anything, we need to know that you respect us and respect our feelings. It is very difficult for a Pisces to open up and show our vulnerabilities. She showed you hers and you mocked them. She can't trust you emotionally. A Pisces will only put up with so much. We're known as "escapists" for a reason. I wouldn't come back in a million years if it were me. If she does come back, I hope it is to a different you. Sorry to be so harsh, but nothing pisses me of more than someone emotionally manipulating and verbally abusing another person. I've been studying psychology for years so I know the lasting affects of that kind of behavior.

Well thanks. That certainly gives me some more insights into Pisces woman.
I don't want to start arguing with you as well, but I'm not blameless. I admit I made a stupid mistake and I have apologised.
Respect? Why do you think I told her the truth ?

Take it easy, Chupi. I don't think she wanted to get back with you anyway, most likely for the same reason she dumped you. I would personally never go back together with someone I dumped.

To me, she was concerned about you, because you took it badly. She wanted to see you, hear that you are well, and was a bit horny at the time. The fact that you slept with another women was nothing but a good sign, meaning that you are now moving on. She used it against you, just to cut your hope of a reconciliation.

It is OK to feel angry when someone you love kicks you out of their life. If I were you, I would have been offended if you took it lightly. It is also OK to sleep with anyone you like, two months after the unfortunate event.

I don't find you childish, just angry and unhappy. Maybe because I just got a text from my 44 years old Aqua, asking ""hows my gorgeous little bear?"

My message is: Move on!

Correction:
*If I were her, I would have been offended if you took it lightly* Grammar still probably wrong, I don't care...