Need advice

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Deedee86
@Deedee86
9 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 3 · Posts: 3225 · Topics: 93
Did you ever get a clear and current photo? Did you video chat yet? Have you spoken to his adult children?

I am always skeptical of these types of relationships because you are never 100% sure of who you are really communicating with. Whenever you question or push for more he pulls back. This seems manipulative to me. Perhaps he is just insecure about his looks but it could be more. I always think of that lady from Sister Wives who was having an online and text only relationship with a man that turned out to really be a woman that blabbed all of personal secrets. It was so awful.

Be careful. If he comes back, I would demand more. You deserve it and you need to protect yourself.
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Deedee86
@Deedee86
9 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 3 · Posts: 3225 · Topics: 93
Posted by TNVirgo
More details:

Only on telephone but I have heard his kids talking to him in background ... why are you on the phone and dad is is late... he was in the kitchen once with the door closed and they tracked him down.

No current picture yet and it makes him angry to ask. He was married to a Narcissistic woman and experienced a lot of things as controls so he see control where it is not in my opinion.

There are too many secrets there.

I had a man who used to be an ass and then turn things around like it was my fault. This guy sounds like he's doing the same. You have every right to at least see a photo of the man you are having a "relationship" with. Don't let him make you feel guilty for asking.

He is hiding something.
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GeneralFishy
@RemixGeneralFishy
9 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 1 · Posts: 1786 · Topics: 12
I get a bad vibe from his kids. They strike me as being the same as the biitch mom. They probably badger him nonstop about everything and treat him like a kid, which could certainly result in emasculation and massive loss of confidence, which is most likely why he's so sensitive. Can also explain the unwillingness to post a picture.

When you feel like crap, you're not exactly eager to show what you look like.
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TNVirgo
@TNVirgo
9 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 7 · Topics: 1
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P-Angel
@P-Angel
20 Years25,000+ PostsPisces

Comments: 0 · Posts: 44084 · Topics: 685
Posted by TNVirgo

I said for him to man up to his kids and stop using excuses from his past relationships.

His kids were disrespectful and it pissed him off so that is a logical and natural conclusion for a Virgo to make... another words

Take back your power... problem solved





He was furious and told me my comments were nasty and hateful.

He did not want to talk it out on phone

he said that he wanted time and distance and that all trust was broken and give it to him... he also says that all It ever was was a friendship and nothing more and that I must have lost my way.

I am thinking what the—



Again I am like what the— Okay so I give it to him... that was 15 days ago.



I love him but not to the deepest part yet.

It is a love where I worry for him and long to be with him BUT I am losing all hope and Absence is a way to kill a Virgos affection.

It does not make things stronger for us but destroys.

I was so confused by him that I consulted a counselor



I would have waited on him if we were moving forward but we are not ... even a crawl would be okay but this is not even that.

I keep hearing over and over never more than friends never more than friends and that is slowly destroying all faith I have in him.




So, you were being controlling on telling him how to raise his children, and according to you, his relationship with his children has left him manless, since you tell him to man up ... and you're not even his girlfriend, just a friend according to him. But, you're so ridiculous that you cannot even begin to rationalize that you were way out of boundaries when you told him how to treat and act with his own children.

Of course he was furious .... what you said to him was wrong and out of line. It was hateful, controlling and you have no right to tell him how to relate within his own family ... a family you are NOT a part of. You obviously have no clue about boundaries, because you say, "what the ?" which means you lack all ability to logically work out that you are wrong. the "what the?" reaction from you means that you think you were in the right.

then your pompous self gives him shit 15 days ago for getting upset at you trying to tell him how to raise his children and for implying that he's not a man if he doesn't treat them they way YOU tell him to.

Kudos to him for putting your ass on the curb ... he dodged a bullet

And since he has ignored you since you blasted him 15 days ago ... you then start talking about how much you love him and only care about the best for him. You are so illogical and irrational that you tell us that you had to go to counselling due to him going silent on you. You even went further to say that it kills your affection .. which suggests that you believe you were being affectionate with him when you were telling him he's not a man.

You're more than confused ... you're backwards and retarded.

Proof of that? The last quoted sentence of yours is saying that he's telling you over and over and over that you are just his friend ... but, that just flies over your head.

You're just that dense.
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LadyNeptune
@LadyNeptune
10 Years25,000+ Posts

Comments: 11076 · Posts: 35718 · Topics: 110
Posted by TNVirgo
I asked for a picture of him and he gave me one with a side view and with his eyes closed and only from the shoulders up. He gave me a few other that ranged in age from 15 to 25 years before.

This scared me that he would not give me a current and totally visible.

Well then he got to talking about not wanting to talk but once a week. I was thinking what the..... because a couple works towards more and once a week is crazy.



We had an argument and in text I said for him to man up to his kids and stop using excuses from his past relationships. He was blaming me for talking late and that was his choice. His kids were disrespectful and it pissed him off so that is a logical and natural conclusion for a Virgo to make... another words

Take back your power... problem solved

He was furious and told me my comments were nasty and hateful.

I just need straight talk

to understand.




The fact that he doesn't offer up clear photos of himself is fishy. And your skyping but without vid, even more suspect. Give him an ultimatum to video chat with you. If he refuses then call the whole thing off...if he's not willing to be transparent and build something real then you can't be bothered to stick around and deal with the fuckery.

On a side note I do agree with him that your comments were nasty and hateful. I'm sure that's not how you meant them but it's certainly how they came off. Don't judge peoples parenting skills, it's not your place and will never be well received.

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LadyNeptune
@LadyNeptune
10 Years25,000+ Posts

Comments: 11076 · Posts: 35718 · Topics: 110
Posted by TNVirgo
Just a side note to add that we started as friends and progressed to more

And when I asked for a photo... that's when everything went back to friends and working towards more.


What do you mean by 'progressed to more'. You haven't seen him face to face. Your phone pen pals.

All that's been exchanged is a lot of meaningless words. That's not 'working toward more', that's just empty talk with a disembodied voice.
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firefis1996
@firefis1996
9 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 137 · Topics: 32
pisces sun virgo moon here!

from the pisces perspective - family is incredibly dear to us. children come before new partners (sorry). Hence the reason he's not standing up. he values his children obviously a lot. Also the whole photo thing, maybe he's scared of online predators. ask him to text one?

Im a bit confused as to where you're currently standing with him, but I think he will come back. He's already mentioned he sees you two married - so you are on his mind!

Backing it up to friendship - he's scared and wants to understand you more. feel safer with you.

My virgo moon is saying be practical. Don't leave. TALK TO HIM. say the truth. say what you told us. ask him what he's doing. Nothing will feel better than knowing and communicating properly



HOT tip: pisces (theres another post referring to this) are independent people. We don't jump into and out of relationships like others. To us, relationships can be few and far in-between because we really need that 'one'. Someone we know understands us almost completely cause we're freaks haha. I have a 60yo pisces aunty who only married once for a year, and the rest of her life since then has been single. why? because she values her time more as a single woman than spend it with someone she can't connect with closely.
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P-Angel
@P-Angel
20 Years25,000+ PostsPisces

Comments: 0 · Posts: 44084 · Topics: 685


Private Message

Hateful comments

from TNVirgo sent on 2016-11-22 05:20:40

I responded to your hateful message on my thread... you are not a nice person at all and I really pity you. the

------------------------------------------------



Considering how terrible of a person you are to him, and the nasty and controlling shit you say and do to him ..... the logical conclusion is that you can't take what you give out.

That makes you a hypocrite on top of being an ass