Pisces and drug addiction....help

Ok, I'm not sure if I have specific questions, I think I'd just like to get some thoughts on this issue....

I met this pisces guy just a couple of month ago and it got serious very fast. He is such an awsome guy, he treats me like a princess, I can be myself around him, no games, I can talk to this guy about anything..me being a capricon, this is huge. We have the same interests and he LOVES my dog...and the other way around too :-)So in my eyes, things are too good to be true and sometimes he seems a little different but I could not really explain it. I asked him if he took drugs and he said no.

Long story short after he stayed out all night and all day last weekend, he admitted to taking speed, meth. It looks like he does it quite a bit too. When hes on it, he drinks tequilla like water....bad. Anyways, last night after some drama, he told me about his childhood which was pretty much all about physical and mental abuse and having his mom make him feel like he was never good enough. From all that he has a bit of a speech impediment (?). It was really hard to listen too and pretty much broke my heart. All this made him pissed at the world and hate people. he said this way they would leave him alone. When he moved here, he started taking meth and he says it makes him feel better, makes him feel that he can talk to people better and be more outgoing......He says he can control it (yeah right!) and I have to trust him. He says he knows hes been doing more than he should lately because hes had a lot of stress.

So knowing all this about his past I know I wont kick him to the curb, but it is killing me seeing him high.....its sad to me that he thinks that he has to take drugs in order to feel happy and put a smile over his constant frown.

Anyways, thanks for listening :-) any thoughts? what would you do? Anyone been through this?

"You could always assert yourself and place some boundaries early on. You could ask him to spend time with you only when he is not high."

i agree with this statement, as well...also, i would do a bit of research and jot a few addiction/counselleing resources down for him...*tell him you're not preaching, but to keep them close by, what's it going to hurt...'who knows it may give him pause for thought in his own time eventually...even if he 'thinks' he's in control, he really isn't, he's only ruining his health more and more everyday...*sooner or later he'll have to face a cold hard reality, if he wants any kind of future, or a future with you...*he needs both emotional therapy and addiction counselling...although it's his ultimate choice, it never hurts to have a friend steer him in the right direction..'he's now working through two separate issues that are continually feeding off each other..*i wish you luck..

Thanks for everyones input. Yes, I thought of that too that he won't quit until HE is ready. Hes lived here for about 2 years and from what I can tell he got in with the wrong crowd right away and stayed there. I know I mean a whole lot to him and hopefully one day he will see that there are "normal" people out there and that he doesnt need that drug to make him "feel better". I know it wont happen over night and I know I cant put a time limit on it. So I'll just take it day by day.

I am concerned about his whole past and I know that has a lot to do with his emotional state. He told me that I can abuse him yell at him, do whatever and he can take it, but when I push him away it tears him up. So I will try to just be there and try really hard not to nag or get too mad at him. I know myself and when i'm mad or frustrated I just shut down, keep quiet and go think...."pushing him away" basically. Not meaning to do so, but thats how he sees it.

I was with someone a long time ago who was into that crap too. The situation was a lot different than this one though. But I stuck it out for a year and then he quit one day cold turkey and never touched that stuff again. Then he turned into a health freak. Dont know what was more annoying lol. So I have some hope this guy.

If I were you, texnbean, I would take it a step further .. during the times that he is "straight" and spending time with you, I would boost him up, even if he's behaving like a turd. Just this past February I had a friend in my home for 3 weeks, withdrawing from Oxycontin .. it was the month from hell. When she was fucked up, she was the sweetest person in the world .. however, glossed over and unaware. Straight, she was a complete bitch .. I learned that eventhough every part of me wanted to walk away and be demanding that she doesn't treat me, or my family this way .. I know she was NOT herself and didn't mean to be mean. She didn't have professional counseling, just us .. and she made it.

So, my point is .. when he's straight and with you, he'll likely be an ass and you'll want to either walk away, or tell him he better act right. Instead, tell him how sweet he is, how beautiful .. reinforce his worthiness and value while straight, even if he's not. This way, it will start to sink in that he can face the world straight, that he doesn't have to be fucked-up to cope ..

It's a sad situation and he definitely needs some love and compassion to get through this. It sounds like you care enough to help him through .. he's blessed to have you.

Thanks for the advice PA. I will keep that in mind. I think, from what I've seen so far, he seems a lot more relaxed when hes not on that stuff. After he's taken it, he is a lot more edgy.

We've been talking and he told me last night that all the people he knows here and hangs out with, do speed. Thats awful! He said he used to do it only once - twice a month but latley its been ALOT more. He said hes working on it. And I want to believe him. He is probably the best guy I've ever been with. He cares a great deal about me and I know he wants to be with me, says he loves to do things for me and make me smile. Which he is doing.

And I'm pointing out all the good things to him. He came to the states from Mexico with nothing, didnt speak english. And he made it, he speaks the language, hes got a good job, hes travelled, he owned a house with his ex wife. he did have his stuff together...and then he moved here.....

So, yes, I do have hope for this guy. I love being around him, we have fun together. I won't give up anytime soon, thats for sure :-)