Pisces man Taurus woman ... long distance

So, back in October of 2007 a friend had recommended I join this social networking site (not one of the big ones) and so I did and was playing around on it and made contact with this lovely Taurus girl. She was cute, whimsical, playful and was immediately taken with me.

However I live in Chicago and she lives in Sarasota, FL. Also, there is a 12 year age difference between us, so I admit that right from the start I didn't expect anything of a relationship with her, but more as just a friendly contact to chat and email with on occasion.

She, however, was very much interested in me and would constantly message me and text me - it was never annoying, I was kind of flattered and more or less played along. We would chat while I worked my boring desk job and basically keep each other company just about every day. She'd tell me how we'd end up together some day and travel and have kids and like we basically planned out our lives and everything. Meanwhile we both still dated in our respective "real lives" and I'd even give her guy advice, and joke about her "hundreds of boyfriends." So you can see it was kind of a light companionship.

Before I even realized it over a year and a half had passed and we basically know everything about each other. She had pushed me to come visit her time and time again, and every time I'd get freaked about the reality of the distance, the age gap, and practicality would always get the better of me and prevent me from taking that next step to actually see her.

Well, cut to May of this year. She finally snapped at me and told me that because I didn't take her seriously and would never visit that the whole thing was pointless. I snapped back and basically said "you're right, I'm a moron for even allowing myself to be this open with you." Then we stopped talking for at least a week. However, after the fight I suddenly found myself missing her a lot, her companionship and gentle understanding, her playful humor, and cheerful way. I missed her and realized that I had fallen for her.

So I started talking to her again but realized things had changed. She was being rather cold to me and cut off in a way. She finally told me that she was dating someone down there, and I realized that she had fallen for another guy. She says she still thinks of me a lot and cares a great deal for me, but now the timing is off.

So I feel completely at fault and moronic. (more to come)

I had a real connection to someone and before I even realized that my heart WAS involved it had already kind of burned up. I can't blame her for deciding to essentially give up on me...but now I know in my heart that I really would strive to be with her.

I have money saved and am actually in a good position financially and could make the distance work, and even move down the road if things evolved that way. So I let her know.

Now she is still distant, but keeps in contact with me with almost daily messages or texts. In a way I feel guilty for throwing all this drama at her, especially while she is dating someone new, but I feel justified in standing up for my heart, and am sick of having horrible timing in matters of the heart.

She is on vacation right now in California and I barely hear from her. She gets back on July 14th. I miss her terribly.

I am kind of at a loss of what to do. I mean I have told her how I feel, and that I would be willing to be there for her for real, and I can tell her heart is confused now with what to do, maybe she doesn't trust me. I almost feel like I'm walking on a razor's edge. Like maybe I should totally walk away and cut off contact. Or stay in touch with her and hope she comes around... the not knowing is a roller-coaster for my heart.

Anyone have any wisdom or words of advice?

1. It sounds like she put all pressure on you to go see her, while there doesn't appear to be any effort on her part to go see you ... sounds very one-sided = her way.

Pretty selfish of her that you are the one who has to do all the work, and if you don't then she becomes sullen with you ... that is unless she is like 14 and therefore cannot compromise conveniences.


2. It had only been a week when you called her back upset about the tiff ... and suddenly, after 18 months of vying for your love, she has found madness for another?

Don't be a fool .... there isn't this other to whom she is crazy over .. she tells you this for two reasons .. 1. to punish you for thinking, and 2. so you will chase her even harder.

"Now she is still distant, but keeps in contact with me with almost daily messages or texts."


You said you are now feeling guilty, and certainly, after 18 months of getting close, she would have the ability to recognize that you are feeling guilty .... while she makes sure to contact you almost daily, while remaining cold to you.

What a bitch.


She's playing at her heart, and you just let her make you feel like an ass .... when alls you did was try to not take her shit she was slinging at you .... guilt-trip then, guilt-trip now.

"Well, cut to May of this year. She finally snapped at me and told me that because I didn't take her seriously and would never visit that the whole thing was pointless."


That's a guilt-trip ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ .. said with intentions to make you feel like an dickhead. And you knew it at the time, for you retorted ...

"I snapped back and basically said "you're right, I'm a moron for even allowing myself to be this open with you."


so, why have you forgotten now that you were right in your response to her .... you were being a moron for opening up to a woman who would throw your heart right back in your face.


Grow some balls, dude and swim the fuck away ...... let her come to the realization that she isn't a Princess, while you are there to serve her. If she wants to see you in person then she can meet you half-way .. if she won't put forth effort in meeting you half-away, like say in North Carolina, or something .... then this is an indication that she will NEVER put forth any effort in the relationship and will expect you to cater to her, while you snivel at her feet and await a pat on the head.

"She's playing at her heart, and you ... "



*** your ..... she's playing at your heart.

She actually younger than me.

Your advice rang true. Hehe, I can tell you're a fellow fish.

I actually also posted in the Taurus forum for their perspective - and posted an update there.

P-Angel spoke harshly. But the harshness does not mean it's untrue. It's absolutely true, and I'm sure you'll feel the ring of truth in it, Mr. Pisces. *I* did, and I don't even know this girl!

As a fellow Pisces, I can tell you that if you start out doing all the giving and putting forth most of the effort, that's the way it will stay, always. Pisces have this almost magical ability to give and give and give, never noticing the other just keeps taking and taking and taking.. especially if the Pisces is getting at least a little bit of crumbs in return occasionally, or if the other is very adept at emotional games. We won't notice the discrepancy until it's SO HUGE that NO ONE could miss it, which is usually way too late to salvage the relationship. And for a lot of Pisces, "too late" means once marriage and kids and finances are involved, making escape almost impossible. When you tire of being taken for granted and end up feeling slightly dazed, dirty, and used, wondering how such a love went from that to THIS... you will have to put forth all effort escaping her while cursing your "blind, foolish heart." So you'll either tear through the net and swim away furiously with what's left of your sanity and self-esteem, leaving incredible destruction in your wake.. or you will stay and stagnate, because you cannot or will not leave a bad situation and hurt people.

P.S. If she doesn't have a new man, she's a bitch for playing games with you. If she DOES, she's a bitch for playing games with you AND HIM!

SWIM AWAY! SWIM AWAY! I cannot stress this enough! SWIM AWAY NOW!

wow!

what horrible advice 😛

LOL Tubby.. you know what? I agree with you. As I read it, I was both aghast and bemused that I'd written those words 15 months ago. My advice then is not what my advice would be NOW. Not that what I'd written was untrue.. it was just irrelevant and ineffective... and rather self-protecting chickenshit and concentrated more on my Pisces traits and foibles than real life working relationship ideals LOL If Greenfish were still an active member, I'd have to revise my stance here!

*shrug* I'm different than I was then.. moreso than I realized. Thank you for reminding me, Tubbz 😉

no worries chicky. i think yall scared him off. he only posted here and in the taurus forum. got a little more encouragement there but no one answered his last question. they probably ended anyway but i read the pisces responses and was like whoa!

my pisces made my heart flutter earlier today so i was reading up on the pisces-taurus connection. not gaining any new insight though.

Wow, how strange to get updates in a post I made over a year ago that has been silent for so long.

I wasn't scared away from the site caligula, and did take the advice to help. I was willing to sacrifice nearly everything for that little Taurus.

Over the past year a lot happened. The guy she was wish (the jerk) dumped her. Then she became very needy toward me - and I loved it. But then she got distant again and eventually gave up on me and said she needed a break. I was heartbroken but let her go. This was in July.

However just recently she has started blowing up my phone again. But I've been dating other people and am finally over her. But part of me will probably always have feelings for her - at times I do find myself missing her a lot. I had been in complete no contact with her for 2 months.

So, the story may not be over with her, but I've also met some other great girls in the meantime. Nothing serious, just dating around. I'm not holding out hope that things will work out, and the distance is looking like it will prevent anything from ever developing.

Your advice was sound at the time Nefer - even if it was a bit harsh, I needed the outside perspective.

WOO!

thanks for coming back with a reply. i figured it wasn't going to move forward anyway. i think your reservations were solid...the age, the distance. i disagree however with the justifications for leaving her alone.

long distance relationships are complicated and the dude should ALWAYS take the initiative during the courtship phase because 9 times out of 10, it will be the chick who will have to move to his city in order to make the relationship a reality. also on a safety basis it should be in her neck of the woods which is why i really didn't get the extreme push back.

either way, thanks for the update 🙂

SO happy to see Greenfish back 🙂
I unhid my poor advice to show that it wasn't intentionally hurtful... it was just faulty thinking/beliefs. LOL

YES, Tubby... the biggest difference in me in 15 months is the whole "a man should take the initiative" thing. The way I was then, my natural (Pisces) reticence was trumped by my forceful Aries Venus (and my erroneous belief that I needed to MAKE a relationship happen, and if HE wasn't rowing the boat, *I* would!!).. which is to my own detriment in dating/relationships - and of course attracted weak men who could/would NOT step up and DO a healthy relationship. (And 15 months ago, I was indeed killing my OWN relationship with my Libra with it.. he's a compromiser and a pleaser, so on the surface it was working okay.. but underneath it was breaking our connection!)

My advice wasn't very good.. I bought more into the Pisces angle.. knowing Pisces give and give and give until empty, I didn't want that happening to him (projection?)... ignoring the fact that he may be a Pisces, but as the MAN he needed to be the one pursuing, initiating, and moving things forward - and that she wasn't WRONG (per se) to get impatient with his lack in that dept (Pisces usually have trouble being the forceful pursuer! Sucks for the Pisces men! lol).. the situation was just handled badly. She owed it to herself to go out and find a man who wasn't too scared, worried, uninterested, etc in moving things forward. I no longer hold that against her and never should have, cuz every woman deserves to be loved and adored ...and if the current man is not giving her the relationship she wants, then she needs to be open to finding one that can/will. If she wants love and respect, she'll have to insist on it.. by not accepting wishy-washy behavior from men.

So ask yourself, Greenfish... do you still WANT a relationship with her? You won't get it by waiting for it to fall into your lap or being wishy-washy *grin*

Ehhh...

KingPisces, this was over a year ago, lol. But thanks for telling me to grow some balls - for a pisces you aren't very compassionate or humble with a name/post like that.

Get over yourself dude.

I assure you I won't be coming to these astrology forums any longer.

Ohnoes! Greenfish... KP isn't generally intentionally insulting.. and if he's feeling like being froggy, he says things WAY worse than that! Around here, we've learned to take him as he is... which is actually a very cool guy underneath that pretentious KingPisces name. Plus, he's stuck on Decans, of all things. Pffft! 1st > 3rd *wink*

I feel sad that you may be driven away before you've really gotten a chance to get to know us around here, Greenfish. We're pretty fun.. well, I'm probably not. I'm probably rather confusing. I alternate between gentle, thoughtful responses and sharp, harsh advice... guess it all depends on what my little antenna pick up about a person and their situation. For example.. when you posted this thread last year, I identified more with YOU, the Pisces, willing to give everything to have what he wanted... and it scared me (projection) because I've been there too! But now I can also identify with the little Taurus chick who is likely frustrated and tired of not getting what SHE wants. Like KP said.. I evolve. That's a constant thing for me, actually... makes me want to poke through my earliest responses here and find the ones that should be hidden LOL But I won't.. I'm never ashamed or afraid to show my inner growth and progress.. and what better measure of it than to see how far I've come?

I hope you reconsider your position and give us a little more time to grow on you. Stay, and let us work our charm on you! Truth is, FOUR of the biggest big-mouths (and you all KNOW you are!!) on DXP posted in this thread, and you took it like a champ! Kudos! And if that ain't balls, I dunno what is!

eh! damn fish and their moods.

i think he was just shocked to get a dinga from this site in his inbox and wanted to check in. clearly he's not an avid fan of astrology or doesn't feel that he gained insight from it so whatevs...

i'm glad he came back and updated though. i like to know how things turned out and therefore i got what i wanted and as we all know, that's all that matters 😛

I have gone through all this from starting to end, when "greenfish" posted this in 2009 till now with all "wow & brainy" comments. When i was reading each content i was like putting myself at greenfish's place everytime.
I had the "very much similar" situation .

I'm Pisces and from India and got stuck with this Russian Taurus girl on a social networking website (vk.com).
That was the day, I accidentally got to know about vk and i was not interested in girls but was just curious to know about the country.

I met this girl on 21st march 2011: around 7 o'clock and since the first day, she was so interested in me. She was so lovely and happy_go_lucky kind of girl. I liked her behavior.
We had a lot of conversation and we both were just attracted to each other.
One day she said " Akshae, You're one and only one guy who can understand me deeply,, and no one ever did this to me.. you're the only human with a true heart.. why you're not in Russia? or why I'm not in India.?
But we never committed that we LOVE each other like gf-bf.

8months were passed happily.
Everything was going good, but one day she went offline and she was not coming and obviously i was missing her. 12 days passed... Had a dream about her.
One mutual friend knew about us and i was talking to her and told her that how much i missed "i think i started Loving her." And she adviced me to go tell her or otherwise its too late.
Next day she came o/l and told everything.
And she said "you cant love me, i'm so bad and this love on internet is just an illusion."
After that, i realized that she was right.... Next day i said sorry for everything and we became Best Friends since then..

Everything was back to normal again, but on 21st July 2012.
I went out to other city for 7 days and didn't have much time to talk......and when i came back she used to come for few minutes.
**But now i could see the sudden change in her behaviour.**
Few more days have passed and she was more worse and that was the day i got totally fed-up with her cold heartless replies..
She was rude to me and i had no hint that wtf's going on.
We had a real big argument with words after 10 days.

I decided to relax cuz i knew i could curse her in just a few seconds but i really i couldn't.....
I got away for for few days... and in the meantime my friend from university was taking to her.
He told me that "she's really guilty and feels sorry b'cuz she says that everything was done by her"

**We started talking again**
for around 12 days. everything was normal again.
i thought happy days are back, but i was wrong.

one day, she left me a message saying "remove my photos from your album, i hate you, you're so stupid."
i had her photos since 1 year and she had no problem and suddenly "what happened"

she was very rude to me and i had no clue what's up.
i asked her what happened few times but she just wanted to go away.
and i understood that she wanna go.

she was behaving like she saw me dating with her friend.

she deleted me, but when she blocked, i could see the pain and she was doing like block-unblock-block-unblock.
in the end finally unblocked.. don't know why.
she deleted me from everywhere.

she kept on saying, :i hate you, i don't want you, i hate.:
and i said "how can you forget everything in just a few minutes... she says why i cant..."
i said "Anna, you wanna forget me, but i know you cant".. and her mouth was like SHUT.

after 4 days, i was the only one who wanna approached her.
i thought maybe that she was sad..
but i asked again what happened?
and i said "if you think i wont come to meet you, then i promise you that i will."

then she says "I'm heartless., i hate you"
and said "i don't want you... you're stupid.. don't fuck my brain"

and now this time, i got angry, and said something bad also in return.
i know i realized later that shouldn't have done that. but how can anyone tolerate so far?

Her friend said "maybe she thinks, you'd never come and this thing is going endlessly."


I REALLY WANT TO KNOW THE REASON, WHAT HAPPENED TO HER SUDDENLY.
and i promised her, so need to go there.

and today i goodled it by typing "pisces man-taurus woman long distance" and i came here.
and when i saw Greenfish post, i could not stop myself and i decided to write.

Greenfish, i really can understand whatever happened with you. And people I'd like to know what should i do right now.

Have not been talking since 9 days.
Can i do something before everything gets Fade to Black.?

PS: Sorry for my normal English cuz i ain't native English speaker.

Day b'fore Yesterday:
Thursday: 9th of Aug 012

I tried to talk to her on fb, I said "If i hurt you then I'm Sorry". But she's the same. Kind of no feelings left, i guess.I kept on ignoring her anger and trying to talk to her so politely. "Maybe things will change or maybe we could sort the things out". But no, She's cold and just Bloody cold.

I was like : "Anna, you were guilty but i say sorry, now what else do you want?"
She: "you annoy me, i don't wanting to talk you, you're so stupid, if you'll going away i can to be happiest person on earth."
Me: "Hey, calm down.. Leave out your anger. Can you?"
She: "You're a pester, don't write me, i don't care about you"
.
.
. (cont. for around 1hr, cant write everything)
.
Me: "Why you're so rude on me? What happened?. I'm still your Akshae."
She: "Goooooooo out, im tired of you. i don't want see you again. i hate you, you're a stupid and idiot, a pester, stupid stupid stupid"

Me: FUK OFF!!

Me: "You fukin Russian duck, fuk with your Ingliski., I annoyed you?,.,you the fukin one who annoyed me..."
"you're just an ignorant, i should've done this before. And I never wanna see your fukin face again. fuk off you Russian vodka chicken sht."


I controlled myself for more than 1hr, But she was taking advantage of my patience.
Maybe whatever i did was good or bad. But she really made me angry.

We're together once again.~
This is "*#@ $ % " !!