Sex or no sex? Any help?

Profile picture of AdrianaCrabTor
AdrianaCrabTor
@AdrianaCrabTor
9 YearsCancer

Comments: 0 · Posts: 61 · Topics: 20
Hi there, I know it might sound weird, but I'm 28 and have never had sex. I have been in some petting almost making out situations but it has just never happened. I recently started a relationship with a 25 year-old Pisces man and our chemistry is amazing. I told him I have never had sex and he told me he has no problem since he doesn't have much experience either! (Which I could notice because I have known guys who do have great abilities, and this Pisces is a lil clumsy) we have been together now just one week, and he told me he'd like to be with me. Honestly I would like to be with him too but I'm afraid our relationship get stagnant just in sex. Because it's too soon and we don't know each other well. That's the only thing that stops me because I do want to be with him. I don't see virginity as something pure but as a simple physical condition, but the first time must be something special somehow. Please, take it seriously and don't be mean. i know for Americans it works different, but Latin Americans have a different culture. Just any piece of advice you could give me I will appreciate it.
Profile picture of LillyPetal
LillyPetal
@LillyPetal
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 33 · Posts: 5490 · Topics: 118
I believe you. Do what is true to you. You've lived your life so far with no regrets, seemingly at peace with your decisions. I would continue to listen to that intuition, whatever it tells you.

Let me tell you something: I, too, waited long for sex. Now that I have chosen to have it, the relationship getting stale because we already had sex has been far from the truth. In a strange way, things seem to be even more organic now that neither of us thinks the other is behaving a certain way for the prospects of sex. But, I would have been completely fine marrying this man before ever having sex. I know plenty of women who have married before having sex and "sexual incompatibility" is non-existent - almost a recently hyped phenomenon. Do YOU and no one else (no puns intended.)
Profile picture of FieryAries9108
WateryAriesIX
@FieryAries9108
14 Years500+ PostsAries

Comments: 0 · Posts: 652 · Topics: 47
I agree, with others go with your intuition or gut instinct in this situation. To me the longer you wait the better and you can definitely marry someone before you have sex with them. Yes, sexual incompatibility could make a marriage bad. But that's only if both people place a lot of emphasis on sex, usually when people marry it's for love. So even if you later find out that your sexually incompatible that doesn't mean it is an end all. It just means that you both have to put more work into that area or you will have less sex in general, some people would actually be okay with that. Again it depends on the person, just don't rush things or let anyone makes decisions for you when it comes to something like this.
Profile picture of FieryAries9108
WateryAriesIX
@FieryAries9108
14 Years500+ PostsAries

Comments: 0 · Posts: 652 · Topics: 47
Posted by FieryAries9108
I agree, with others go with your intuition or gut instinct in this situation. To me the longer you wait the better and you can definitely marry someone before you have sex with them. Yes, sexual incompatibility could make a marriage bad. But that's only if both people place a lot of emphasis on sex, usually when people marry it's for love. So even if you later find out that your sexually incompatible that doesn't mean it is an end all. It just means that you both have to put more work into that area or you will have less sex in general, some people would actually be okay with that. Again it depends on the person, just don't rush things or let anyone makes decisions for you when it comes to something like this.
Also don't let the other person pressure you if you are not ready, it's okay to take your time and be slow with this sort of thing.
Profile picture of enfant_terrible
enfant_terrible
@enfant_terrible
17 Years10,000+ PostsLeo

Comments: 1470 · Posts: 13777 · Topics: 204
Posted by lady_chatterley
My thoughts on incompatibility and having sex before marriage.

You can still have a discussion about sex before marriage. Like what are your expectations? What are your turn ons/offs?
But you don't know these things until you have some experience. Sometimes you think you're wired this or that way and it turns out when put into practice, it was just in your head and suddenly, you sort of lose sight if yourself. As with anything in life, not having sex in this case = wasting your time not learning about yourself.

I wish I've had some earlier experience in certain areas in my life then I wouldn't have wasted so much of my time being an immature adult & catching up. Same thing goes for sex.

Profile picture of enfant_terrible
enfant_terrible
@enfant_terrible
17 Years10,000+ PostsLeo

Comments: 1470 · Posts: 13777 · Topics: 204
Posted by lady_chatterley
Posted by enfant_terrible
Posted by lady_chatterley
My thoughts on incompatibility and having sex before marriage.

You can still have a discussion about sex before marriage. Like what are your expectations? What are your turn ons/offs?
But you don't know these things until you have some experience. Sometimes you think you're wired this or that way and it turns out when put into practice, it was just in your head and suddenly, you sort of lose sight if yourself. As with anything in life, not having sex in this case = wasting your time not learning about yourself.

I wish I've had some earlier experience in certain areas in my life then I wouldn't have wasted so much of my time being an immature adult & catching up. Same thing goes for sex.


I think when you truly love someone how much experience you have doesn't really matter. For me, creating an experience with someone I love is more important to me than all the past experience in the world. Pleasing the other person is more important to me. As long as the other person has the same goals, pleasing the other, and not just themselves then you've found a great lover.

click to expand

That's the problem. Someone with experience knows what pleases them. Young or inexperienced women are all about 'pleasing the guy'... which is a rather one-sided ride, depending on the guy.