Which one is more important?

The meaning of words? or the way they come to you?

Ultimately, the way they come. Words sometimes mean nothing. You have to take into account nonverbal communication and a lot of things.

So...The way they come.

Yeah...actions speak louder than words and sometimes the delivery can make a person totally miss the message.

Definitely the way they come...

I guess I have to open up a bit the question, because you haven't got it right.

What is the more important:

1) The benefical meaning of the words

or

2) The harsh way they've expressed to you.

Haffo, I don't think your question is still clear. What do you mean by "beneficial meaning of words"? (if someone was harsh to you and you have to see the benefit in it?)

Someone says something to you and the meaning of the speech is benefical (=good) for you. But the style of the speech is harsh. Which one you would choice over other. The meaning over style or style over meaning.

In that case...that's a bit harder. But I think it's still the same answer. I'd rather hear the truth than someone sugarcoat it for me.

On the other hand, if it comes as harsh criticism about something I've done, I don't appreciate a harsh style . So it depends for me. It also very much depends on who is speaking.

Where are you trying to go with this?

Depends on the situation sometimes you can find more positive than negative through a negative tone.Maybe thier in a bad mood from elsewhere or they are tired of hearing me analyse and the "what if"stuff or whatever about it,those things understandable.I can be harsh when im not in the mood either so it'd be a bit hypocritical for me to dislike it from someone else.Some one beats around the bush to spare me of honest truth will get under my skin more,the only way it will be harsh and not tolerated is when it's judgemental.I don't expect people to live according to my rules,I shouldn't have to live according to other peoples rules or people who are just looking to make you feel bad about yourself for no reason other than pleasure for them.The meaning of words don't matter but can be good even if they are expressed in a negative way.It's basically up to you to look at yourself as well as what they say and compare to decide.

I think it is all about "perception"....my Grandfather used to speak in a harsh tone (would scare the willies outta me) but that was just his way and he meant nothing by it....I however, perceived it as (boy - grandpa is mean!). Everyone has their own way of expressing their thoughts. If we know who we are then we know our truth and what someone else has to say really does not matter or how they say it.

"In the end, it really doesn't matter at all." but what does matter is, are you enjoying your ride of life while you are here?

The Bird

SIT.. and please be sited means one thing....sitting?

Argumentative/arrogant and selfish nature, will always looking for (meaning) were there are no real meanings?!

Actually, words don't mean a whole lot to me at all. Action does. For instance, someone can say they love me, but if they don't show it with action, it doesn't amount to a hill of beans. So I take verbal declarations with a grain of salt. Suspicious? Perhaps, but it's what experience has taught me.

I think the meaning of the words is as important as the way it comes. Any person who is communicating with other person has to watch to not just the meaning of the words, but also the way it goes to that person. Being aware of such difference between those two things is actually the matter of being civilised. Civilised people do watch how they speak besides of what they speak. People may be experienced in particular situations but that doesnt mean that have to be civilised too.

This is called body language.

UPDATE

Now I think it depends on person itself. If person has good intentions to you but says it in harsh way, then its no problem. It also no problem when person with good intentions has good way of saying it.

However,

If person has bad intentions towards you and say things either good or bad way, those both are same. You can't trust a person who has bad intentions to you and same goes with when person says it openly.

Actions Speak Louder Than Words.

They mean something when you're drunk, mad, sad or any other altered emotional state, when joking and when something just escapes someones mouth (pretty obvious)