would you

tell someone how their absence is driving you mad with longing even though you know they will be messed up as much as you?

me and my girl were chatting yesterday and i was extremely tired but didn't want to sleep, something told me that on the other hand she was awake and wanted to talk so I couldn't just hang up because I remember the days when she would go to sleep and I couldn't bare the silence in the air

anyway I stayed up and was drunk with tiredness, started going crazy telling her how much I miss her and how hard to bear is her distance away from me then I said I blame her for this and was really all over the place

I didn't want to tell her this but I remembered a pact we had a while ago to tell each other everything

she said she wishes she knew what to do to make me feel better, even suggested coming back earlier

anyway I woke up this morning and I want to assure her that I will be fine and that I am dealing with her absence and that my telling her this is me going out of my way not to hide stuff from her and be upbeat even though I am in deep pain

thing is I don't know how much to let go of and how much to keep for myself, it feels great to let things out but I fear that she will be impacted in the other end and while I am getting things off my chest she is soaking it in and worrying instead ... but if I say nothing she still can tell that something is wrong and becomes upset if I don't tell her

it's all confusing me, I don't know where to draw the bloody line

Its fine to tell her her feelings about missing her, but blaming her probably was a bit much because now she will feel guilty about the situation. Im sure she misses you two and that's the most important part.