Diagnose me! Why do I get so freaking attached? (Page 2)

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Roo
@PuzzlePieces
6 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 1560 · Posts: 3897 · Topics: 79
Posted by Phantom_Limbo

Posted by PuzzlePieces

Posted by Phantom_Limbo

I'm going to blame Pluto in the 8th as well. Also, I think having a bunch of planets in the first house can make figuring out one's identity and how it relates to other identities difficult, not easy, as you might expect.

From my personal point of view, you seem to be always dating someone new. I'm sure it doesn't seem that way to you. You're living your life, so you feel the gaps more, but you probably post about starting to date someone new (or rekindle with someone from your past) more than almost anyone else here. What's the rush?


Oh posting here was about understanding my life, people, myself, etc. I’ve been divorced 7 years. It’s not exactly a big rush. It’s more like not figuring it out, and dating along the way. It’s just interesting to me how astrology relates so I want to understand more about Libras, Caps, etc. it’s been a weird 7 years. Always someone new, would it be better to be alone for 7 years or be out in the world meeting people, enjoying life. I’m alone so much at times, friends drag me out. Lol I just haven’t found anyone I’m willing to have a relationship with long term ( well besides the Cap). Before this 7 years, I had very little gaps actually. So this time period is very strange to me & needs understanding. Lol




I was trying to think of a way to say it that wouldn't feel insulting. I don't think there is a right answer for how much you should go out vs. keeping to yourself. I just noticed it, as a data point that might be useful to you. You seem to consider a few weeks a long time to go without dating someone. That's a drop in the bucket in my world.
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months actually. Usually it’s about 3 months when I get bored. I’m not always trying to date at that point, sometimes I’m going out with friends and I tend to get attention. Next thing you know there is someone new. Lol

I belong to a women’s group, just to do things without men actually! After too many bad experiences.

So hibernate or put myself out in public and get attention. I don’t think I should have to hibernate to stay away from men.. ugh.

But I will admit trying to get over the Cap I have dated quite a bit. And probably posted too much lol it is about understanding but also about too big of emotions. But really it’s about the Cap and the attachment & fear.



Profile picture of PuzzlePieces
Roo
@PuzzlePieces
6 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 1560 · Posts: 3897 · Topics: 79
Posted by Ellygant

Posted by PuzzlePieces

Posted by Ellygant

Mars in Capricorn conjunct your ascendant.

Mars opposite North Node.

North Node in cancer, conjunct descendant.

Plus sun in the 12th.

All together, you find yourself enmeshing into relationships, giving your identity over to the other person. You often pick people that don’t have your best interest, and end up taking a lot without being able to replenish what they take. Even if they’re well intentioned, you still always come out on the bad side of the bargain.

This is due to a deep discomfort with love, comfort and affection you’ve carried with you all your life. It’s far more comfortable for you to be detached, non affectionate and non expressive as that’s how you most readily see the world and express yourself in it. However this is the opposite of what your deepest life lesson asks of you. In order to bring balance to your relationships, you shouldn’t ask ‘why do I get so attached?’ Instead you should ask ‘why am I so uncomfortable being attached?’

There’s also a bit of a wound around having to be both father and mother, to yourself and possibly to your children/kids. Affection, openness and expressing emotion is made harder by the fact you often are put in the position of being the strong and rational one, and you have a hard time reconciling strength and logic with vulnerability and emotional expression. You can be both strong and vulnerable, rational and emotionally expressive. It will take a lot of willpower on you’re part to integrate that though, as it requires you rewrite the way you see the world and yourself.


Wow you are amazing. It’s all right on. It’s so hard to be attached because I can’t lose myself again. So you can’t go all in when you’re not picking people that will be good for you. That is what I’ve been working on over the last 7 years. Sometimes I wonder if that integration is impossible, but once you travel along that road you can’t go back. It’s always forward movement.

I guess I kinda understand the rewrite how I see myself & the world. I’m just not there yet.






Transitioning from South Node energy to North Node energy is a life long endeavor for most people. For you, since it falls on angles (Ascedndant/descendant) it’s nsturally a bit more of an uphill climb than most. Additionally since it’s the south Node on the ascendant, your tendency to pursue the familiar and the comfortable narratives is greater.

Still don’t be too hard on yourself. That’s the cap rising/mars. And actually the opposite of what you should do. Be patient, nurturing and soft with yourself. The strongest aspects of Cancer energy. Honor your intuition. Let logic inform intuition, intuition verify logic.

As you begin to slowly come around, you’ll notice one day, seemingly all of the sudden, it’s easier to be both. It won’t be all of the sudden, but it will feel that way likely.

Cancer/Capricorn is a very slow moving axis. It takes time for those lessons to really soak in, because the tendency on that axis is to work constantly, without stopping to acknowledge progress. Probably why you have a long history attracting cardinals suns and moons as well.
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Thanks. Yes this makes sense. It started 10 years ago. Before that I was completely unaware. Midlife crisis maybe. I worked so hard at the transition, learning to be vulnerable, be open, more affectionate ( by initiation not just responding). It was very emotionally draining. I’d be so exhausted. At this point, I’m not feeling I need to work so hard anymore but more allow it. Perhaps I’m getting there like you say to allow the cancer energy.

Yes this why the Cap is hard. He is that Cap energy I’m drawn too, but also very affectionate and he feels very warm and fuzzy. Like I just want to stay in that forever. That’s the part I have a hard time walking away from actually. I have noticed a struggle with the intuition & the logic with him. Perhaps it’s a sign of where I’m really at, moving away from one and towards the other. Huh interesting.