First Scorpio experience & how do i play my cards here

Hi peeps me again.

Had a lovely date with a Scoprio last sunday that i have chatted to on tinder for a few days. He was very open in his messages and invited me to hang with his friends in the city which i ignored as i don't fancy a boozy first date with a bunch of strangers, so he messaged again and we talked more and he asked if i wanted to do lunch, i suggested dinner instead and he came to my area for dinner. Had a great time, lots of laughs and sharing funny awkward details about our life, hints and playful comments, we had dinner then moved to a bar (after 2 wine bottles), he was touching my back and putting his arm around me etc.

At the bar we had more drinks and sat in a booth close to each other, talking and giggling, followed by kissing, after which i took him to the train station and we had another kissing cuddling sesh there before we said goodbye.

He messaged me an hour or so later saying he had a great time and how next time we should do yada yada, i agreed and said goodnight.

2 days after he messaged me again, had a quick chat, he said we should hang out again and do something more loose and boozy, i loled at the message and suggested we go for margaritas after which - no response. Third day waiting now.

In the past i have come across as too eager and too available to guys so i'm trying to be more reserved, not message first and all that stuff. I find it a bit sad that he hasn't replied to my suggestion, it's not like it was something not needing a reply. He does have a conference on the weekend which he's probably prepping for but surely has time for other things. I have seen a couple facebook updates of him going places, he's quite social and i don't expect him to think of me constantly after the first date buy i sure want him to!

It seemed like we clicked a lot, and i read about scorpios where people say they can have it going with multiple people and have multiple connections, which is ok for me in the initial stage, but how do i react to this? Do i send a follow up a week later, do i nugde him about something exciting or do i just wait as he's busy or this is some kind of a game to see how i react?

How do i attract this guy and get him to do the chasing.

All opinions welcome but be nice please! 🙂

Tips on dealing with Scoprs in initial dating stage will also be helpful if anyone's got any!

Regardless of sun sign, if a guy wants to ask you out and he wants to follow through then he will. He will contact you. He will make time for you. He will pursue you. If he isn't doing the above then there's nothing you can do to 'make' it happen or 'make' him like you. Also, if he's not doing the above it doesn't mean you have to take it personally. You felt you got on well. He asked you out again but you declined his suggestion and made an alternative. He hasn't responded. There could be a million reasons why and often it will have nothing to do with you or be about you. It will be about him.

Are you a match with what you're looking for? Do you know what he's looking for? Do you know what you want?

Are you dating others to keep your options open?

I don't think you sound too eager. You don't have to play games with the person who is right for you. They will not fuck you about or leave you guessing about their intentions. Don't contact him. He knows where you are. Instead, go and have a date with someone else. If Scorp comes back to you and has something to offer you then feel free to accept. If you're not on the same page then decline. Meanwhile, you'll have another one or two prospects lined up to keep you busy. Why waste time wondering about some guy who is lukewarm when you could be available for a date with a hot guy.

I disagree with previous speakers.

Send him occasional text. Just something trivial.

If it takes more that a few - forget about I it.

Scorpios like to be told they are wanted. IF they care.

Thanks everyone,

I know it takes a good balance with pursuing/let yourself be pursued. I live in sydney where the dating scene is pretty much ridiculous, everyone goes on dates and even if we have a good time our heads are clouded because there are so many options. It's hard to stand out when people are serial daters. It's just friggin disappointing, it's really hard for me to have a connection with someone when i go on dates, i'd say one in like 7 guys makes me feel like that and once i go out with 3 or 4 i lose motivation so when i find that 7th it's like holy grail and then weeks go by and nothing happens 😢

I did end up messaging him asking if he was out a few days ago and he said he was already interstate, busy and sorry for not messaging, i told him what i was up to and that's it. Then 2 days later he sent me an insta follow request. Seriously why not drop social media and just hang out =_=

Will let it be and go on my week holiday wednesday.

Nobody is ever THAT busy.

http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/being-super-busy-the-modern-lame-excuse-for-managing-down-your-expectations/

You messaged him. He knows he hadn't bothered to contact you because he apologised for it which is him acknowledging it.

Don't message him. Even little messages. Otherwise you won't know what his intentions are as all he'll be doing is reacting/responding to your messages and then you'll think he's interested even though you have said it yourself there in your last post - he's sending you a social media request and not asking you out.

Date others. Even if you have to date another seven to find one you like.

So i drunk texted him yesterday saying interesting how "a guy says he's into you, asks you out but not really and i'm not the kind of girl to think oh he's not messaged me for a week he must be busy" - yes, embarrassing, terrible, should not be allowed to have a phone while drinking.

This morning i felt like a total tool (yes it gets worse) and after my embarrassing confrontational text i sent a "mending" text saying drunk texts aside i really had a great time and i don't connect easily with people and i was really keen to see you but i know guys don't like when girls do this shit so understand if you don't. I'm awaiting the "unfriend" button to be pressed on my ass.

I'm embarrassed, angry and hate my self control for that and i know i broke all the rules and made an ass out of myself so i needed to tell someone and have a cry 😢

I think i need to take another full time break from any kind of dating, this is too effin hard.

Thank you everyone for giving me advise but doesn't look like this one is for me

Posted by Gemsgem
Hi peeps me again.

Had a lovely date with a Scoprio last sunday that i have chatted to on tinder for a few days. He was very open in his messages and invited me to hang with his friends in the city which i ignored as i don't fancy a boozy first date with a bunch of strangers, so he messaged again and we talked more and he asked if i wanted to do lunch, i suggested dinner instead and he came to my area for dinner. Had a great time, lots of laughs and sharing funny awkward details about our life, hints and playful comments, we had dinner then moved to a bar (after 2 wine bottles), he was touching my back and putting his arm around me etc.

At the bar we had more drinks and sat in a booth close to each other, talking and giggling, followed by kissing, after which i took him to the train station and we had another kissing cuddling sesh there before we said goodbye.

He messaged me an hour or so later saying he had a great time and how next time we should do yada yada, i agreed and said goodnight.

2 days after he messaged me again, had a quick chat, he said we should hang out again and do something more loose and boozy, i loled at the message and suggested we go for margaritas after which - no response. Third day waiting now.

In the past i have come across as too eager and too available to guys so i'm trying to be more reserved, not message first and all that stuff. I find it a bit sad that he hasn't replied to my suggestion, it's not like it was something not needing a reply. He does have a conference on the weekend which he's probably prepping for but surely has time for other things. I have seen a couple facebook updates of him going places, he's quite social and i don't expect him to think of me constantly after the first date buy i sure want him to!

It seemed like we clicked a lot, and i read about scorpios where people say they can have it going with multiple people and have multiple connections, which is ok for me in the initial stage, but how do i react to this? Do i send a follow up a week later, do i nugde him about something exciting or do i just wait as he's busy or this is some kind of a game to see how i react?

How do i attract this guy and get him to do the chasing.

All opinions welcome but be nice please! 🙂

If I like you I will make time for you there's no ifs or butts. Now let's say the attraction is so so I will message only when it's convenient for me it. Oils take days weeks or even longer. Piece of advise don't be too available and leave a lil mystery don't be too open but never be dishonest.

Alright so he messaged back (which i did not expect at this point) and told me what was happening at work that kept him busy etc and that he's away certain dates and when we can catch up. We shall see :/

I've had experience dating a scorpio as a Gemini female and I will say it's not easy. We're all about the communication, they're usually not. At least not to the degree you may want. You can sit around and dwell over it, as I did for many months or just go about doing you're own thing and try not to think too hard on him. Not easy, but necessary.

Posted by Gemsgem
So i drunk texted him yesterday saying interesting how "a guy says he's into you, asks you out but not really and i'm not the kind of girl to think oh he's not messaged me for a week he must be busy" - yes, embarrassing, terrible, should not be allowed to have a phone while drinking.

This morning i felt like a total tool (yes it gets worse) and after my embarrassing confrontational text i sent a "mending" text saying drunk texts aside i really had a great time and i don't connect easily with people and i was really keen to see you but i know guys don't like when girls do this shit so understand if you don't. I'm awaiting the "unfriend" button to be pressed on my ass.

I'm embarrassed, angry and hate my self control for that and i know i broke all the rules and made an ass out of myself so i needed to tell someone and have a cry 😢

I think i need to take another full time break from any kind of dating, this is too effin hard.

Honey! Don'tbeat yourself up over this one. He is not worth it. Move on. Good luck.

UPDATE

Nearly a month later, had another date, great time, great chemistry, he was giving me lots of compliments and from the choice of venue was trying to impress me.

We got smashed and ended up fooling around at my place, a couple short messages from him the next day about how he's doing and how am i.

Sitting tight thinking how he makes me feel and what i'm getting myself into here. Interesting personality, definitely dominating and a bit child-like wanting to always be a winner when there's no competition.

He kept telling me about the little games he plays at work and such and kept re-assuring me those are the only games he plays, not really sure what that means, guess just a way of saying he is upfront with what he wants and such.

Will keep investigating but try to keep my distance a bit. Overall great fun when we're together so i'm keen to catch up again as long as i have no real expectations.

Why would you not have expectations?

It helps to be clear with what you want. It provides a benchmark. If things fall below that benchmark then you need to decide if compromising your standards and compromising on what you want is ok.

Posted by AgentP911
Why would you not have expectations?

It helps to be clear with what you want. It provides a benchmark. If things fall below that benchmark then you need to decide if compromising your standards and compromising on what you want is ok.

I'm a gemini, i don't know what I want T_T

In all seriousness, as it' still early to talk about these things i'd rather not expect much so i don't get hurt. If i see that he wants to spend time with me more often then I can think about what I want out of this. Maybe third time's a charm.

New question - the guy is clearly very passionate and there's lots of sexual tension between us. As we got to certain things I know it'll be much harder to keep him out of my pants now.

I'll try to suggest a day time activity that won't lead us going places afterwards, but I am prepared to be honest that I don't want to go all the way yet (although I do but I want to keep my feelings safe).

Considering he got a glimpse of me wanting him as much as he wants me how can i tell him i don't want to go all the way yet? Or should I just be truthful to both of us and let it go naturally as i'm essentially playing hard to get here?

Thanks folks

Posted by Gemsgem

Posted by AgentP911
Why would you not have expectations?

It helps to be clear with what you want. It provides a benchmark. If things fall below that benchmark then you need to decide if compromising your standards and compromising on what you want is ok.

I'm a gemini, i don't know what I want T_T

In all seriousness, as it' still early to talk about these things i'd rather not expect much so i don't get hurt. If i see that he wants to spend time with me more often then I can think about what I want out of this. Maybe third time's a charm.

click to expand

So you think it's too early to ask him what it is he's looking for yet it's not too early to get half naked and eat each other?

Posted by Gemsgem
New question - the guy is clearly very passionate and there's lots of sexual tension between us. As we got to certain things I know it'll be much harder to keep him out of my pants now.

I'll try to suggest a day time activity that won't lead us going places afterwards, but I am prepared to be honest that I don't want to go all the way yet (although I do but I want to keep my feelings safe).

Considering he got a glimpse of me wanting him as much as he wants me how can i tell him i don't want to go all the way yet? Or should I just be truthful to both of us and let it go naturally as i'm essentially playing hard to get here?

Thanks folks

Hardly playing hard to get. You've only met for two dates. What that? Six hours. I've worked longer shifts with people yet I wouldn't know them well enough to be contemplating 'going all the way' or not.

Posted by jolene6776
I've had experience dating a scorpio as a Gemini female and I will say it's not easy. We're all about the communication, they're usually not. At least not to the degree you may want. You can sit around and dwell over it, as I did for many months or just go about doing you're own thing and try not to think too hard on him. Not easy, but necessary.

When you play it by the rule you get to the point when you wish he would just stop telling you everything. Lol

And no! Communications are the best part of relationship with Gem/Scorps. I had never at once experienced a problem in that department.

Posted by AgentP911
Hardly playing hard to get. You've only met for two dates. What that? Six hours. I've worked longer shifts with people yet I wouldn't know them well enough to be contemplating 'going all the way' or not.

Fair point about too early to do one thing but not the other. Just feels like we live in a society where it's ok to hook up but not speak about how you feel.

Yup let's say 6 hours in a space of a month. If we do get to screwing it'll probably be 3 months later as we're busy again. Think next time we catch up there's a need for that "what we're after" chat.

Posted by AgentP911
Regardless of sun sign, if a guy wants to ask you out and he wants to follow through then he will. He will contact you. He will make time for you. He will pursue you. If he isn't doing the above then there's nothing you can do to 'make' it happen or 'make' him like you. Also, if he's not doing the above it doesn't mean you have to take it personally. You felt you got on well. He asked you out again but you declined his suggestion and made an alternative. He hasn't responded. There could be a million reasons why and often it will have nothing to do with you or be about you. It will be about him.

Are you a match with what you're looking for? Do you know what he's looking for? Do you know what you want?

Are you dating others to keep your options open?

I don't think you sound too eager. You don't have to play games with the person who is right for you. They will not fuck you about or leave you guessing about their intentions. Don't contact him. He knows where you are. Instead, go and have a date with someone else. If Scorp comes back to you and has something to offer you then feel free to accept. If you're not on the same page then decline. Meanwhile, you'll have another one or two prospects lined up to keep you busy. Why waste time wondering about some guy who is lukewarm when you could be available for a date with a hot guy.

Profound answer.

This guy drives me crazy!

He had another busy week, had an important event on this week so after last's week's back n forth comms, i wished him luck in a message then a few days later after the event i playfully asked if he shat the bed.

Response was quite quick again complaining about the busiest week and how he is dying, which i'm sure he is and romance is probably not on his mind )hence why i thought i'd gently remind him of my existence and desire for kisses and cuddles and whatever).

He DID however ask me for my number so he can call me - we were chatting over Tinder then FB to date - so i thought that's a good sign, as you don't really have to these days, you have facebook, insta, snapchat, twitter, who wants you to have their phone number? So i sent a short playful message back with my number. Nothing naggy, over-shary, short and sweet convo. AND HE HASN'T CALLED.

Seriously are Scorps that busy and spaced out or it's just me? I read that scorps put their mind on one thing at a time so if it's work - it's work, if it's friends - it's friends. I don't know if me showing initiative means i'm chasing him hence maybe pushing him away but both times we went out he was quite chatty both before and after then was getting busy and i felt like i need to input.

And following some people's suggestions I am seeing someone else who seems crazy about me (at least did and always messaged me outta the blue) who is also effin busy!!! Where do i find these guys, halp.