Getting Back with Gemini? Story Ahead!

Hi All,

Just joined this very interesting forum to see if anyone could kindly give me their opinion on my situation. Until just recently I was dating this beautiful Gemini woman for a year. She's 23 and a single mom and I'm 28. The baby's father is not involved whatsoever and this has been my only experience dating a woman with a child. We had great chemistry and for the first 6 months it was amazing. We both knew we wanted to marry each other and we really displayed our love. We promised each other we've never leave one another and we'll overcome any problems that lie ahead.

Unfortunately, we began to have to some problems that would result in several heated arguments. Arguments that would leave us from not speaking for a few days. These arguments would either be caused by her feeling not appreciated enough, her wanting to start a family soon, to jealousy and to her getting mad that I still wouldn't present her to my family after 6 months of dating. Throughout some of these arguments she would easily express that there's several other men out there who would treat her much better and that she would easily replace me. Our arguments would get very heated but I would honestly say that I would always remain the most calm, while she would proceed with name calling, threats, etc. Each argument had one or the other returning to later apologize and patch things up.

Anyways, right before Christmas we had a huge fight but within days I tried to patch things up but this time it felt very awkward. We met for lunch but I realized that she was very cold. She would not say "i love you" back to me or even kiss me like how she would usually. There was no passion. The following day she simply texted me to tell me that she was done with everything and that she had been talking to someone else. I was truly shocked.

I proceeded to just ignore her messages and decided to back off and see what she would later say. She then texted me that she hadn't been speaking to anyone but that she wanted me to just stop looking for her. I ignored it and decided to just give her space. After 3 weeks, I decided to reach out to her and was eager to make us work, until, she then tells me that she's already with someone and loves him very much. I was shocked beyond belief. Was she speaking to someone behind my back all this time? I would call her again but she wouldn't tell me anything and would just hang up. Two days later I went to go see her personally at her home to see if we could talk. Her mother greeted me and seemed uncomfortable seeing me there. She did confirm she's been seeing someone (someone she used to see briefly before - who this guy was obsessed with her) and that evening, she had gone to his families household to be introduced to his parents, since they have been talking about marriage. I could not believe it what her mom was telling me. I sat there in disbelief. It's only been 3 weeks and she already was with someone and was considering marriage? I left and asked her mom to please have her call me.

When she called later that evening, I saw a whole different side of her. She was screaming, cursing, telling me to back off and never to go look for her again. Telling me that this is what I deserved for not appreciating her enough. I tried to reason with her but it didn't go anywhere. She changed her number and demanded that I don't mess things up with her new boyfriend. Her mom even texted me to tell me to just look for someone else as she didn't want any problems at home. I backed off. Confused and disappointed. No matter what has happened before, we were always at each other's arms at the end of the day. This time it was like she was a whole different person. I never reached out to her again but realized that one night she called me from a blocked number (she would do this frequently so I knew it was her) but I wasn't around on my phone. The next day I was having some chest pains and second later i fainted. My family took me to the hospital and had to stay for the night while my heart would get checked. There I proceeded to write her an email to reminisce the times we've had, the accomplishments we've made together and ask her to think through her decision. A day later she called me (blocked so I wouldn't have a way to contact her) and we spoke about my stay at the hospital. Throughout the conversation she brought up the letter but she made it clear that she's going to remain loyal to her new boyfriend and this would be the last time I hear from her. I accepted it.

It still confuses me as to what happened and have been debating whether we'd ever be together again, especially considering the tough times we've had in the past and the effort we've always managed to put in before.

I've decided to back off entirely but I sure do miss what we had.

Any thoughts? Suggestions? Obviously, I'd like to get back together but...how?

Btw: I've never had any problems before getting great looking girls but I'm just so confused as to what happened. I did fall in love with her when I rarely do.

To get back together......Why— All this drama put you into the hospital. Are you looking for an early death?

What is wrong with looking for similarly pretty, but less demanding, stressful and emotionally unstable person? What is wrong with you? Are you really going to spend your precious time trying to break a locked door, when in reality there are thousands more to be discovered and opened?

Thank you both! I appreciate your opinions/suggestions.

Trust me, I've never had a problem getting great looking girls but somehow she's different. This just happened a week ago so I'm still feeling confused and somewhat hurt.

UPDATE: first of all thank you to everyone for their comments/thoughts on this topic.

I decided to take a 2 week trip around Europe for my birthday and went along with a buddy from college. Throughout my trip of course, I thought about her and our situation so I shared my story with my friend who provided some insight. He could tell I loved her so he insisted if I really wanted her back, I should try, but first with a sincere apology about what was done and what could have been better.

Keep in mind that since she moved on, the only way she communicated with me once before, since she changed her number (which she later told me was her BF) was through a third party app.

Since we last texted and spoke through the third party app, she did tell me that that was last time I would hear from her since she would be deleting the app and would no longer speak to me behind her boyfriend's back. Therefore, I wasn't sure if she would ever read my text.

The first message to her after some weeks of not communicating was a sincere apology. To my surprise, she responded after an hour and agreed that I did not do enough for her and that everything was about critizing her and she felt I took her for granted. She went on to tell me that she had been dreaming about me lately and that that was the only reason she downloaded the app. She went on a rant, texting me 10 messages straight on how she did so much for me. All I did different this time was just be more sympathetic and agree that I could have done better. She admitted that she also did wrong by moving on quick but that she needed someone to love her the way she hoped I could love her.

She wished me a happy birthday and I thanked her for it and said our byes. 10 minutes later she texts me that I deserve someone who is a college graduate, with the same level of work experience as me, etc. I sent a really clear message that finding the right person to growth with and drive/motivate each other is key and everything we've accomplished together has been great. It's about finding the right person to share them is what makes the misery enjoyable. She agreed.



The lines of communication were open.

A week later I texted her in the afternoon (morning in the US due to the time difference) and to my surprise she texted me back immediately asking "why am I up so early". Before a response could be made she also asked if I was with anyone cause she dreamt of me being with someone. I told her I wasn't with anyone but that I was sick with a cold. She then of course proceeds to advise me to find someone like her who will take care of me like she used to, however, it will be hard. I agreed. She asked if I was talking to anyone but I said I didn't want to rush into anything

so I wasn't. She proceeded to keep bringing up how she felt and how bad I treated her, so I apologized again.

She mentioned that she was only speaking to me cause I was very special to her and her sons life so she wanted to remain friends, though her boyfriend is very afraid that she would leave him for me. We kept texting bit and throughout the conversation she kept focusing on how I treated her.

3 hours later she calls me to see how I was with my cold. Since it's been some time we haven't spoke over the phone, I took the chance to tell her she was making a mistake and how she knows deep in her heart that she still loves me. She didn't say anything but just listened (even when I told her that's she's settling). I promised to send her pics for her son (who I was very close to).

Upon sending her my most recent pictures in Paris, she immediately said that I looked very happy. Seconds later, she went on a rant on who I was with, who took the pictures (if I wasn't with anyone), that I was great in bed so she cannot believe I must not be with someone etc. She stayed on this topic for a while until I told her she could believe anything but my heart and mind was still with her. We went on to talk about the baby and I sent her pics which she was grateful for and told me that our times together we're some of the best times of her life. We left on a positive note.

I got back to the US and reached out to her with my final attempt to see if we can meet. She immediately texted me that she needed to tell me something...that she was getting married and will be moving in with him soon.

Not really a surprise after everything but still shocking considering they've only been dating a month and everything else's mentioned before in my first post.

I didn't respond to her message which prompted her within minutes to text me a series of messages of how I was being immature for not responding. An hour later she called me to talk (which I wasn't available to pick up) saying she hoped that we could remain friends and that what we had could never work however that she always invested in the relationship completely.



:/ case closed I guess.

Posted by aquarius_beauty

Posted by Schenker87
UPDATE: first of all thank you to everyone for their comments/thoughts on this topic.

I decided to take a 2 week trip around Europe for my birthday and went along with a buddy from college. Throughout my trip of course, I thought about her and our situation so I shared my story with my friend who provided some insight. He could tell I loved her so he insisted if I really wanted her back, I should try, but first with a sincere apology about what was done and what could have been better.

Keep in mind that since she moved on, the only way she communicated with me once before, since she changed her number (which she later told me was her BF) was through a third party app.

Since we last texted and spoke through the third party app, she did tell me that that was last time I would hear from her since she would be deleting the app and would no longer speak to me behind her boyfriend's back. Therefore, I wasn't sure if she would ever read my text.

The first message to her after some weeks of not communicating was a sincere apology. To my surprise, she responded after an hour and agreed that I did not do enough for her and that everything was about critizing her and she felt I took her for granted. She went on to tell me that she had been dreaming about me lately and that that was the only reason she downloaded the app. She went on a rant, texting me 10 messages straight on how she did so much for me. All I did different this time was just be more sympathetic and agree that I could have done better. She admitted that she also did wrong by moving on quick but that she needed someone to love her the way she hoped I could love her.

She wished me a happy birthday and I thanked her for it and said our byes. 10 minutes later she texts me that I deserve someone who is a college graduate, with the same level of work experience as me, etc. I sent a really clear message that finding the right person to growth with and drive/motivate each other is key and everything we've accomplished together has been great. It's about finding the right person to share them is what makes the misery enjoyable. She agreed.



The lines of communication were open.

A week later I texted her in the afternoon (morning in the US due to the time difference) and to my surprise she texted me back immediately asking "why am I up so early". Before a response could be made she also asked if I was with anyone cause she dreamt of me being with someone. I told her I wasn't with anyone but that I was sick with a cold. She then of course proceeds to advise me to find someone like her who will take care of me like she used to, however, it will be hard. I agreed. She asked if I was talking to anyone but I said I didn't want to rush into anything

so I wasn't. She proceeded to keep bringing up how she felt and how bad I treated her, so I apologized again.

She mentioned that she was only speaking to me cause I was very special to her and her sons life so she wanted to remain friends, though her boyfriend is very afraid that she would leave him for me. We kept texting bit and throughout the conversation she kept focusing on how I treated her.

3 hours later she calls me to see how I was with my cold. Since it's been some time we haven't spoke over the phone, I took the chance to tell her she was making a mistake and how she knows deep in her heart that she still loves me. She didn't say anything but just listened (even when I told her that's she's settling). I promised to send her pics for her son (who I was very close to).

Upon sending her my most recent pictures in Paris, she immediately said that I looked very happy. Seconds later, she went on a rant on who I was with, who took the pictures (if I wasn't with anyone), that I was great in bed so she cannot believe I must not be with someone etc. She stayed on this topic for a while until I told her she could believe anything but my heart and mind was still with her. We went on to talk about the baby and I sent her pics which she was grateful for and told me that our times together we're some of the best times of her life. We left on a positive note.

I got back to the US and reached out to her with my final attempt to see if we can meet. She immediately texted me that she needed to tell me something...that she was getting married and will be moving in with him soon.

Not really a surprise after everything but still shocking considering they've only been dating a month and everything else's mentioned before in my first post.

I didn't respond to her message which prompted her within minutes to text me a series of messages of how I was being immature for not responding. An hour later she called me to talk (which I wasn't available to pick up) saying she hoped that we could remain friends and that what we had could never work however that she always invested in the relationship completely.



:/ case closed I guess.

OMG OP seriously I'm surprised that you don't see what she's trying to do?

She's trying to guilt trip YOU by justifying her gold digging ways. She left you for the other guy because he was able to provide for her financially. It's not about if she had feelings for you, she doesn't! She doesn't even have feelings for the other guy either. Despite what she might say. She's just an emotional immature wreck.

As far as her interrogating you and acting like a jealous psycho...that's just selfish human behavior. She doesn't want you, but she doesn't want you with anyone else because she still wants you to pine for her and still be there as an option in case new boyfriend doesn't work out. She's stringing you along and you're falling for it.

She's the immature little twat. Not you! Good riddance. You need to move on. She's obviously not mentally capable to be in a fulfilling loving relationship. She deserves what she chooses.

click to expand

Thanks but I initially thought that but this guy doesn't have much (hence why she keeps telling me I should find someone in my level - professional and financially) like she did. Not sure what the guy does but even my friend said if it was pursuing financial security, it clearly would be with me. Just my thought.