Lyse
@Lyse
10 Years500+ Posts
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Guys…Does her meeting your family mean anything?
You have to keep in mind, that the parents have probably already told the person in your case and others about well...dating two people at the same time but they'll supoort them either way because it's their child.
Generally, it is important if a man does introduce you to his family but nowadays that comes with a caveat. He may only be serious about you at that time but can change his mind later on.
Generally, it is important if a man does introduce you to his family but nowadays that comes with a caveat. He may only be serious about you at that time but can change his mind later on.
Posted by beautifulsoul74I can agree with you there. Do you agree that introducing her as his girlfriend is him being polite, or would he much rather introduce her as a friend.
You have to keep in mind, that the parents have probably already told the person in your case and others about well...dating two people at the same time but they'll supoort them either way because it's their child.
Generally, it is important if a man does introduce you to his family but nowadays that comes with a caveat. He may only be serious about you at that time but can change his mind later on.
The saggitarian didn't introduce me to his mom or anyone as his girl. I guess i was too young and stupid to see it as a red flag. I just happened to be in the dining room sitting at the table, she came downstairs and he just said "Oh thats my mom." She spoke and went back into the kitchen. She didn't even ask me my name.lol. I got up and went into the kitchen myself, shook her hand and told her my name. I mean shit i was in HER house. It's just how i was raised.
Sounds like his mom was used to him doing that. It's not a reflection on you though. You were an innocent bystander. I surmise that she figured that once you saw him for who he is, you'd be gone so there was no use in getting too attached.
Honestly, I think what happened to you is a product of today's dating culture with the whole FWB thing. You're intimate but not committed and therefore you get introduced as "the friend." It makes no sense to me. If you're sleeping together, sorry you're more than friends because of the feeling attached. It leaves you limbo because the person hasn't committed.
Traditionally, if a man is serious he will introduce you to his family and friends and usually after he's made a full commitment.
Honestly, I think what happened to you is a product of today's dating culture with the whole FWB thing. You're intimate but not committed and therefore you get introduced as "the friend." It makes no sense to me. If you're sleeping together, sorry you're more than friends because of the feeling attached. It leaves you limbo because the person hasn't committed.
Traditionally, if a man is serious he will introduce you to his family and friends and usually after he's made a full commitment.
No actually recently this past Memorial Day a guy I’m seeing introduced me to his entire family as his “girlfriend”. Literally walked me up to them and introduced me as his woman. He was afraid his uncle would hit on me so he told me to tell his ass I’m his wife.lol.
I felt good for the moment, but a bit confused. I didn’t want him thinking I was reading into the fact that he called me his “girlfriend” so I just went along with it. I figured maybe he was just being polite and since we actually are more than friends, he went with the title that’s higher than friends. I still haven’t mentioned it, I’m just watching him and how he treats me. So far so good, but I don’t know.
We’ve had discussion on being exclusive and being in a relationship but he never actually asked me…do people even ask you to be their woman or man anymore? Lol, or do they just start claiming you. idk with this generation sheesh.
I felt good for the moment, but a bit confused. I didn’t want him thinking I was reading into the fact that he called me his “girlfriend” so I just went along with it. I figured maybe he was just being polite and since we actually are more than friends, he went with the title that’s higher than friends. I still haven’t mentioned it, I’m just watching him and how he treats me. So far so good, but I don’t know.
We’ve had discussion on being exclusive and being in a relationship but he never actually asked me…do people even ask you to be their woman or man anymore? Lol, or do they just start claiming you. idk with this generation sheesh.
I was introduced to my bfs father over the phone (long distance) within the first two weeks and in person to his extended family near the one month mark. He talked to his favorite uncles about me and had them talk to me around 2-3 weeks, but that was clearly a guy to guy bragging thing. He took me to a high school graduate get together where ALL of the local family members were expected to be there. However, he's had side convos with me while on the phone (long distance) with his sisters and aunts, calling me Babe or Baby...that didn't happen until after a couple of months. He had his first side convo with me while talking to his mother a couple of weeks ago. I'll meet his best friend and one of his cousins in a couple of weeks. The first family meeting, the woman of the house said to me right before we left, "It was nice meeting you, we hope to see you again"...and looked at my bf. You have to remember that a family is a tribe and have their own secret language. I think it's the level of interest that the family takes in you (planning future events, making sure your SO brings you yo important get togethers, sending messages through the SO, and finally giving tokens of love or exchanging contact info). His cousin here who he is closest to has done the first three and we've gotten together with her a few other times in the past 4 months. Significant? Kind of, but not super serious. I'll know that he's REALLY serious when we're Facebook official. Lol...the people who are most important to him keep in touch via FB...we're talking friends from way back and immediate family such as his mom and sisters. Until then, I think of us as exclusive while exploring the possibility of a serious relationship. I think it honestly depends on the spaces and people that he values. If work relationships are more important image wise than how his family views him...then wait to be introduced to the boss before thinking that you're in it for the long haul.
I know it sounds childish for FB official to be important to him, but my guy has this thing about his image. It's important to him that the people who really count, but aren't in his face see the best of everything that he's doing. So in the future, find out who his image is important to. It's not always the parents.
I know it sounds childish for FB official to be important to him, but my guy has this thing about his image. It's important to him that the people who really count, but aren't in his face see the best of everything that he's doing. So in the future, find out who his image is important to. It's not always the parents.
Posted by beautifulsoul74I agree with the whole thing of what the guys dating patterns are. My ex's mom is SO used to him diving into serious relationships early without really developing a sturdy foundation. She's the one who told me in so many words that his habitual lying was a result of mental issues. But this is a woman who had 9 kids with a man who severely beat their children, to the point of causing real and irreversible brain damage in the oldest child...a girl at that. I didn't find that out until our last week together. Some of the family dysfunction is...I mean like...you have to evaluate whether or not your values mesh. People do live according to their family values...for better or worse. My values as a woman and mother did not mesh with those of my ex's mother. Hell nah. I have yet to see whether or not they mesh with my guy's. So far from what he's told me...maybe in child rearing, but not when it comes to relationships. Those are all things you have to look at. That's the benefit of meeting the family.
Sounds like his mom was used to him doing that. It's not a reflection on you though. You were an innocent bystander. I surmise that she figured that once you saw him for who he is, you'd be gone so there was no use in getting too attached.
Honestly, I think what happened to you is a product of today's dating culture with the whole FWB thing. You're intimate but not committed and therefore you get introduced as "the friend." It makes no sense to me. If you're sleeping together, sorry you're more than friends because of the feeling attached. It leaves you limbo because the person hasn't committed.
Traditionally, if a man is serious he will introduce you to his family and friends and usually after he's made a full commitment.
Oh...and my ex's mom is STILL with her husband. Fuck that shit.
My Capri sun/sag moon brother, when younger, wasn't so keen on bringing girls home to meet mom because he was in his fun mode and never intended on marrying any of the girls he dated, even the long term ones. Now, he's 30 and when he gets with a girl, within the honeymooner phase, he's eager to bring her home and meet us all. My mom is the one who puts on the brakes for him because she knows he becomes pretty impulsive. She says exactly what the OP's mom says. Wise ladies those moms are 😉 His relationships nowadays don't last longer than 3-6 months (honeymooner phase) and he's not smart enough to wait for the honeymooner phase to subside to make his decision.
Given the example above, meeting family and the value it holds for a person has to do with their age and where they are in life. My bro and I are both marriage oriented (given our age) and so we only date or consider people we see ourselves marrying. If I end up being exclusive with someone at this point in my life and we decided mutually that we are headed for marriage or getting engaged, then I'm introducing him to my family. I am not hasty like my brother. Moreover, I don't want to play with the minds of my innocent niece and nephew by introducing them to a guy who I may not end up with. Then, those poor kids will wonder where that guy went and that's just unnecessary toying with little minds.
Given the example above, meeting family and the value it holds for a person has to do with their age and where they are in life. My bro and I are both marriage oriented (given our age) and so we only date or consider people we see ourselves marrying. If I end up being exclusive with someone at this point in my life and we decided mutually that we are headed for marriage or getting engaged, then I'm introducing him to my family. I am not hasty like my brother. Moreover, I don't want to play with the minds of my innocent niece and nephew by introducing them to a guy who I may not end up with. Then, those poor kids will wonder where that guy went and that's just unnecessary toying with little minds.
Your right about that MsTeeq. The guy I’m speaking on is extremely HUGE on his baby brothers and his mom, and his mother’s mom. His dad…mmm he’s okay with him. But I know the people that matter most is his grandmother, his mom, and his 2 brothers. Even when his mom has royally pissed him off he talks about her a lot. I think it’s cute. Lol. She’s most likely his best friend, but they have serious tempers both of them, and when angry they clash and they need a break from one another. But the love is undoubtedly evident. I’ve met both his brothers, and his grandmother, but I haven’t met his mom yet. He claims she only liked one girl he brought around and that was the one he was with for 2 years, but now she doesn’t even like her. So to say I’m nervous of the day of meeting his mom is crucial. Im a sweet girl, but I’m not pressed to bend over backwards to impress another woman I don’t care who she is. But kiss her ass just so she’ll like me? Nope. If she’s anything like him she wouldn’t like a kiss up anyway. Lol. His mom is a Taurus. I love them, one of my bestfriends is a Taurus, super sweet but when she gets mad…whoooooo she gets mad. lol
Posted by FrostAndBiteLOL! I would've did the same thing! Omigosh you were quick on your feet there.lol
My Scorp brought me to meet his family after about four months of dating. We hadn't said I love you or officially titled each other yet even. I remember it was 4th of July and his whoooole fam was there. His drunk uncle cornered us in the kitchen and asked us if we were in love. I shoved a whole cupcake in mouth as a reply.
Good times.
Posted by aquarius09Same here. I’ve taken one guy to meet my mom and her side, and one guy to meet my dad and his side. No one has met both, and after those two failed it will be awhile before anyone gets to meet my family. I’m not trying to be the family member that has a new man on her arm every Christmas. Lol.
My Capri sun/sag moon brother, when younger, wasn't so keen on bringing girls home to meet mom because he was in his fun mode and never intended on marrying any of the girls he dated, even the long term ones. Now, he's 30 and when he gets with a girl, within the honeymooner phase, he's eager to bring her home and meet us all. My mom is the one who puts on the brakes for him because she knows he becomes pretty impulsive. She says exactly what the OP's mom says. Wise ladies those moms are 😉 His relationships nowadays don't last longer than 3-6 months (honeymooner phase) and he's not smart enough to wait for the honeymooner phase to subside to make his decision.
Given the example above, meeting family and the value it holds for a person has to do with their age and where they are in life. My bro and I are both marriage oriented (given our age) and so we only date or consider people we see ourselves marrying. If I end up being exclusive with someone at this point in my life and we decided mutually that we are headed for marriage or getting engaged, then I'm introducing him to my family. I am not hasty like my brother. Moreover, I don't want to play with the minds of my innocent niece and nephew by introducing them to a guy who I may not end up with. Then, those poor kids will wonder where that guy went and that's just unnecessary toying with little minds.
They know if I bring someone home, I’m serious about them.
A scorpio met my dads side by default because his cousin was dating my sister. His cousin and my sister had been dating for almost a year, he and I had only been dating about 2 months I had no intentions on him meeting my fam yet, that was my sisters bright idea.lol. Anyway, my family loved him and my aunts were drooling all over him. Lol. I thought the whole thing was funny
Posted by MsTeeq1974+1Posted by beautifulsoul74I agree with the whole thing of what the guys dating patterns are. My ex's mom is SO used to him diving into serious relationships early without really developing a sturdy foundation. She's the one who told me in so many words that his habitual lying was a result of mental issues. But this is a woman who had 9 kids with a man who severely beat their children, to the point of causing real and irreversible brain damage in the oldest child...a girl at that. I didn't find that out until our last week together. Some of the family dysfunction is...I mean like...you have to evaluate whether or not your values mesh. People do live according to their family values...for better or worse. My values as a woman and mother did not mesh with those of my ex's mother. Hell nah. I have yet to see whether or not they mesh with my guy's. So far from what he's told me...maybe in child rearing, but not when it comes to relationships. Those are all things you have to look at. That's the benefit of meeting the family.
Sounds like his mom was used to him doing that. It's not a reflection on you though. You were an innocent bystander. I surmise that she figured that once you saw him for who he is, you'd be gone so there was no use in getting too attached.
Honestly, I think what happened to you is a product of today's dating culture with the whole FWB thing. You're intimate but not committed and therefore you get introduced as "the friend." It makes no sense to me. If you're sleeping together, sorry you're more than friends because of the feeling attached. It leaves you limbo because the person hasn't committed.
Traditionally, if a man is serious he will introduce you to his family and friends and usually after he's made a full commitment.click to expand
Posted by LyseKnowing whether you're actually official or not is a whole other thread in itself lol. Personally, I make sure its known by first asking and if she says yes then I say you're my girlfriend and I'm your man...it's that simple. No guess work or ambiguity. But I'm 40 lol
No actually recently this past Memorial Day a guy I’m seeing introduced me to his entire family as his “girlfriend”. Literally walked me up to them and introduced me as his woman. He was afraid his uncle would hit on me so he told me to tell his ass I’m his wife.lol.
I felt good for the moment, but a bit confused. I didn’t want him thinking I was reading into the fact that he called me his “girlfriend” so I just went along with it. I figured maybe he was just being polite and since we actually are more than friends, he went with the title that’s higher than friends. I still haven’t mentioned it, I’m just watching him and how he treats me. So far so good, but I don’t know.
We’ve had discussion on being exclusive and being in a relationship but he never actually asked me…do people even ask you to be their woman or man anymore? Lol, or do they just start claiming you. idk with this generation sheesh.
Posted by beautifulsoul74I'm 25 and thats how i thought it worked too. lol.Posted by LyseKnowing whether you're actually official or not is a whole other thread in itself lol. Personally, I make sure its known by first asking and if she says yes then I say you're my girlfriend and I'm your man...it's that simple. No guess work or ambiguity. But I'm 40 lol
No actually recently this past Memorial Day a guy I’m seeing introduced me to his entire family as his “girlfriend”. Literally walked me up to them and introduced me as his woman. He was afraid his uncle would hit on me so he told me to tell his ass I’m his wife.lol.
I felt good for the moment, but a bit confused. I didn’t want him thinking I was reading into the fact that he called me his “girlfriend” so I just went along with it. I figured maybe he was just being polite and since we actually are more than friends, he went with the title that’s higher than friends. I still haven’t mentioned it, I’m just watching him and how he treats me. So far so good, but I don’t know.
We’ve had discussion on being exclusive and being in a relationship but he never actually asked me…do people even ask you to be their woman or man anymore? Lol, or do they just start claiming you. idk with this generation sheesh.click to expand
Posted by FrostAndBiteI dont know if it means anything to him. To him, spending money on a girl that he's not official with means something so there's no telling. But he's not very close with his whole family, only certain members. I think if his mom didn't like me it might ruffle him a little bit because she's really special to him but he's a mans man and does what he wants, but i certainly think if his brothers and his mom didn't think i was good fit he might give it a second thought.
That's what made it weirder. Scorp was like 'Eh whatever no biggie. Meeting my family'.
He didn't meet any of my people till two months later. He met one pair of friends
Met my family after we'd been dating for over a year. I had been bugging him for a few months.
He just met one long time friend like two months ago.
He's a master at avoiding meeting folks lol.
Posted by tizianiGreeeat sucks for her, now she gets to be jealous of her family lol!
I remember one guy told me he basically married his wife because he fell in love with the in laws.
He loved her too but it was her family that sealed the deal lol
My close Gemini friend is dating a Virgo, and he cares more about dissapointing her family than her. Isn't that nuts? lol. Thats cool and all but dang. I'd get a lil pissed off, like fool i'm the one your dating what the heck?!
Posted by tizianiYea i agree not clicking with someones family could be a bit of headache especially if they are close with their fam.Posted by LyseLol I always thought it would actually be nice for it to happen like that - I mean it helps the odds tremendously.Posted by tizianiGreeeat sucks for her, now she gets to be jealous of her family lol!
I remember one guy told me he basically married his wife because he fell in love with the in laws.
He loved her too but it was her family that sealed the deal lol
My close Gemini friend is dating a Virgo, and he cares more about dissapointing her family than her. Isn't that nuts? lol. Thats cool and all but dang. I'd get a lil pissed off, like fool i'm the one your dating what the heck?!
There's the rest of his life to appreciate things about his wife but the in laws tends to be a one-shot deal.
I always assumed beefing with my in-laws is just going to be part of the package. like a rite of passage.click to expand
Posted by AquaMermaidMines was quick about mentioning kids, and marriage and stuff to at first. Said he wanted to make sure i knew it was in the cards. I'm an air sign though so i look at things like a breeze at times especially when things are new, it irritates water signs, but i'm like dang can i get your last name first and make sure it even sounds nice with my first name lmbo
My Scorp husband was really in a rush for everything. He made me talk to his sister over the phone( She's also a Scorpio). He kept telling me that he has told his cousin,his aunt and uncle about me that he wishes to marry me. I felt so much pressure that time. I was on level 1 and he was running at level 10 speed. I told him to take it slow. He would complain that I don't introduce him to my friends and family. He felt I was not serious about him. Then his crazy Scorpio Venus would go out of control and he would do something so romantic that it used to melt my heart. I finally agreed to meet his family. Luckily, his dad was very chilled and happy. His sister was a little skeptical lol can't blame her, it comes naturally to Scorpios. It still took me two years to agree to marry him.I believe it was a big deal to him because he's very close to his family. He takes their opinion on important matters. He wanted his family to accept the woman he loves and it was really sweet of him.
Posted by tizianiMe and my ex husband's issue. His mom liked me, but she didn't appreciate my aloof demeanor. She wanted me to be as keen on pleasing her son as the sun is on fire. I just wasn't there yet. I wasn't even mature enough for that kind of devotion. I had three little kids that were my WORLD and at the time couldn't imagine loving someone as much or more than I loved my kids. She was frustrated with my immaturity, but in my opinion, she should have handled it much better. Instead, throughout our short marriage should would do things to sabotage our relationship. Come to find out, my family felt the same. They liked him as a person, but as a man in our relationship they felt he was weak. My brothers put him to the test by taking him to one of their kids sporting events, sat him in between them and proceeded to talk about me like a dog. They never told me about it until the marriage ended. Then they told me about it and told me that any man who won't take the risk of defending my honor or at least show signs of being bothered by people talking bad about me doesn't deserve me. They didn't tell me during the marriage, because they didn't want me to see him any different than the love of my life. There were other things, but after that marriage ended, they are really careful about approving of men in my life. One whiff of something wrong and they're like, "tell him to call me".
I remember one guy told me he basically married his wife because he fell in love with the in laws.
He loved her too but it was her family that sealed the deal lol
Posted by ArriusYour comment confused me. Are you saying it's not that deep when the woman wants the man to meet HER family rather than the other way around?
Not as much as when she wants to introduce you to hers.
Posted by AquaMermaidPosted by LysePosted by AquaMermaidMines was quick about mentioning kids, and marriage and stuff to at first. Said he wanted to make sure i knew it was in the cards. I'm an air sign though so i look at things like a breeze at times especially when things are new, it irritates water signs, but i'm like dang can i get your last name first and make sure it even sounds nice with my first name lmbo
My Scorp husband was really in a rush for everything. He made me talk to his sister over the phone( She's also a Scorpio). He kept telling me that he has told his cousin,his aunt and uncle about me that he wishes to marry me. I felt so much pressure that time. I was on level 1 and he was running at level 10 speed. I told him to take it slow. He would complain that I don't introduce him to my friends and family. He felt I was not serious about him. Then his crazy Scorpio Venus would go out of control and he would do something so romantic that it used to melt my heart. I finally agreed to meet his family. Luckily, his dad was very chilled and happy. His sister was a little skeptical lol can't blame her, it comes naturally to Scorpios. It still took me two years to agree to marry him.I believe it was a big deal to him because he's very close to his family. He takes their opinion on important matters. He wanted his family to accept the woman he loves and it was really sweet of him.
LOL! I totally get that. I'm an air sign as well. So it felt like he was just rushing me.When I tried taking things slow,he made weird assumptions in his head that I wasn't interested or didn't like him.We air signs take time to over analyse everything in our head. I was thinking 10 years ahead of him like how my life would be with this man. I wanted to know every aspect of his nature good and bad. He was just persistent on making me his wife.My slow pace was really frustrating for him,lol.There was a time I thought he would give up on me.But he never gave up.He is loyal to the core and very patient.I knew then that this is the man for me.And I haven't regretted my decision.You know that a man is worth it when he's sincere towards his work,family and responsibilities. A person who walks the walk.click to expand
I feel you. Well thats great girl. I like Scorps. I just recently dated one.
I like their strong approach, and take charge attitude. The mystery about him kept my interest peeked like no other man i've ever dated. However i gotta admit, i get lazy with their push pull method they use to test their mates and the solidness of the relationship. If i get pushed too far away i may not come back, and if i do i'm not quite the same as when i left, if that makes any sense.
I like their strong approach, and take charge attitude. The mystery about him kept my interest peeked like no other man i've ever dated. However i gotta admit, i get lazy with their push pull method they use to test their mates and the solidness of the relationship. If i get pushed too far away i may not come back, and if i do i'm not quite the same as when i left, if that makes any sense.
Posted by AquaMermaidPosted by LysePosted by AquaMermaidMines was quick about mentioning kids, and marriage and stuff to at first. Said he wanted to make sure i knew it was in the cards. I'm an air sign though so i look at things like a breeze at times especially when things are new, it irritates water signs, but i'm like dang can i get your last name first and make sure it even sounds nice with my first name lmbo
My Scorp husband was really in a rush for everything. He made me talk to his sister over the phone( She's also a Scorpio). He kept telling me that he has told his cousin,his aunt and uncle about me that he wishes to marry me. I felt so much pressure that time. I was on level 1 and he was running at level 10 speed. I told him to take it slow. He would complain that I don't introduce him to my friends and family. He felt I was not serious about him. Then his crazy Scorpio Venus would go out of control and he would do something so romantic that it used to melt my heart. I finally agreed to meet his family. Luckily, his dad was very chilled and happy. His sister was a little skeptical lol can't blame her, it comes naturally to Scorpios. It still took me two years to agree to marry him.I believe it was a big deal to him because he's very close to his family. He takes their opinion on important matters. He wanted his family to accept the woman he loves and it was really sweet of him.
LOL! I totally get that. I'm an air sign as well. So it felt like he was just rushing me.When I tried taking things slow,he made weird assumptions in his head that I wasn't interested or didn't like him.We air signs take time to over analyse everything in our head. I was thinking 10 years ahead of him like how my life would be with this man. I wanted to know every aspect of his nature good and bad. He was just persistent on making me his wife.My slow pace was really frustrating for him,lol.There was a time I thought he would give up on me.But he never gave up.He is loyal to the core and very patient.I knew then that this is the man for me.And I haven't regretted my decision.You know that a man is worth it when he's sincere towards his work,family and responsibilities. A person who walks the walk.click to expand
Posted by LyseLolPosted by beautifulsoul74I'm 25 and thats how i thought it worked too. lol.Posted by LyseKnowing whether you're actually official or not is a whole other thread in itself lol. Personally, I make sure its known by first asking and if she says yes then I say you're my girlfriend and I'm your man...it's that simple. No guess work or ambiguity. But I'm 40 lol
No actually recently this past Memorial Day a guy I’m seeing introduced me to his entire family as his “girlfriend”. Literally walked me up to them and introduced me as his woman. He was afraid his uncle would hit on me so he told me to tell his ass I’m his wife.lol.
I felt good for the moment, but a bit confused. I didn’t want him thinking I was reading into the fact that he called me his “girlfriend” so I just went along with it. I figured maybe he was just being polite and since we actually are more than friends, he went with the title that’s higher than friends. I still haven’t mentioned it, I’m just watching him and how he treats me. So far so good, but I don’t know.
We’ve had discussion on being exclusive and being in a relationship but he never actually asked me…do people even ask you to be their woman or man anymore? Lol, or do they just start claiming you. idk with this generation sheesh.click to expand
i meant to post,
how strange that your Scorpio husband has Capricorn moon and he's the fastest one??
i thought earth makes one super slow.
and AM, you have fire mars and fire venus, and you're the slow one?? 😕
how strange that your Scorpio husband has Capricorn moon and he's the fastest one??
i thought earth makes one super slow.
and AM, you have fire mars and fire venus, and you're the slow one?? 😕
anyway i met his family before marrying him.
Posted by AquaMermaidYIKES. I was hoping everyone forgot about that thread since i dont know how to delete it.lol. But thank you so much. I'm good now. I'll pm you on that note, but yea it got pretty intense.Posted by Lyse
I feel you. Well thats great girl. I like Scorps. I just recently dated one.
I like their strong approach, and take charge attitude. The mystery about him kept my interest peeked like no other man i've ever dated. However i gotta admit, i get lazy with their push pull method they use to test their mates and the solidness of the relationship. If i get pushed too far away i may not come back, and if i do i'm not quite the same as when i left, if that makes any sense.
Yes, it makes a lot of sense. If someone plays hot and cold or tests too much, the relationship loses the charm but that's how they select their mate.The tests do get very tiring but, Scorpio being one of the dominant signs in my chart, I understand their motive behind it. I actually read your story on the Scorpio board.It was really sad the way he behaved with you.click to expand
Posted by FrostAndBitedid you hurt him? or is that how you think they view it? One thing i know for sure it's parents know their child. They raised him, surely they must know he's not a saint. So unless you did something outlandishly wrong to that man i wouldn't worry my feathers, the only two people actually living that relationship was you and him.
Worst part of when we broke up, albeit only for a moment, was feeling like I hurt his parents for hurting their son. I still have not seen them since.
Sometimes too much family love causes issues though. Especially if you come from an independent and distant family like I do. When you merge with another family it's an adjustment. I think it take a really long time even in best case scenarios.
Posted by tizianiI love big families too! I used to want to start one of my own until i watched my cousin give birth 😢 Now i'm good on just one or two kids when i start one. Hopefully they'll do my dirty work and bring me lost of grandbabies instead lolPosted by FrostAndBiteYeah I'm from an independent family.
Worst part of when we broke up, albeit only for a moment, was feeling like I hurt his parents for hurting their son. I still have not seen them since.
Sometimes too much family love causes issues though. Especially if you come from an independent and distant family like I do. When you merge with another family it's an adjustment. I think it take a really long time even in best case scenarios.
I want to marry into one of those big dynasty families. And at every meet-up they take my fiancee aside like "seriously, who the **** is this guy?!? Didn't they teach him ANYTHING?"
click to expand
lots*
Posted by AquaMermaidmars is usually how they go about getting you, or approaching you. I guess his air mars was really fast in decision making with that scorpy venus.Posted by lisabethur8
i meant to post,
how strange that your Scorpio husband has Capricorn moon and he's the fastest one??
i thought earth makes one super slow.
and AM, you have fire mars and fire venus, and you're the slow one?? 😕
He is Venus in Scorpio. He goes after what he wants.And Cappy moons are very straightforward when they are sure of someone they love.I'm a Cancer mooner. I'm shy and introverted despite the fire Mars/Venus. He's the one who said " I love you" within few months, it took me a full year to say it back. He didn't run away. That's the Cap moon devotion. What's confusing you?click to expand
funnily, my husband was very very adamant too in wanting me, nothing would sway him. true devotion.
loyal and steadfast. I love that. Nothing wishy washy. i'm also shy and introverted.
i also need a man who walks the walk. so it was very true in my case.
*thumbs up*
Posted by Lyseuh not all Scorpio men are like that. Using the push pull method. I had to look it up online what that means.
I feel you. Well thats great girl. I like Scorps. I just recently dated one.
I like their strong approach, and take charge attitude. The mystery about him kept my interest peeked like no other man i've ever dated. However i gotta admit, i get lazy with their push pull method they use to test their mates and the solidness of the relationship. If i get pushed too far away i may not come back, and if i do i'm not quite the same as when i left, if that makes any sense.
http://omtimes.com/2012/08/push-and-pull-relationships/
The Insecure Soul’s Roadmap: Push and Pull Relationships
by Nadia Khalil Bradley
push-and-pull-relationship_OMTimesImagine this scenario: You love someone but they push you away and want you to leave. So you leave and as soon as you do, they fight tooth and nail to get you back. You ask yourself why they want you back after wanting you to leave so badly in the first place. They didn’t respect you when they had you so why the sudden change? Despite your misgivings, you decide to go back only to find out that once again they don’t respect you. What gives?
This scenario plays out when your partner is insecure in his/her own feelings about themselves. They don’t feel they are worth being with, which subjects you to a Push and Pull Relationship. They know that they don’t love themselves and think that you will eventually figure out that they’re not worth loving. They also realize that because they can’t love themselves, they cannot fully love you either. They want you back because when you are gone they respect you for being smart enough to leave them. When you do come back they don’t respect you, this time for being stupid enough to come back.
@Lyse, the push pull thing is someone who deep down doesn't feel worth it. and doesn't think you want them.
http://www.positive-way.com/push_pull_relationships.htm
It's surprising how many persons go through life without ever recognizing that their feelings toward other people are largely determined by their feelings toward themselves, and if you're not comfortable within yourself, you can't be comfortable with others." How do you get past the "push pull relationships"? I feel I am in that sort of relationship and just don't know how to stop. I feel the other person must be getting something out of this relationship. signed, push pull, age 38
Dear push pull, Yes, you can bet the other person is getting something out of this relationship if it continues in this manner. Many times the push pull relationships represent Hidden Issues and Expectations. Please read our article on that topic and see if it may fit your situation.
Honestly the best way to get past this push pull relationship is to stop what you are doing and do something completely different. Get off the Merry Go Round in this relationship and that will change it all together. Once you stop being a part of this push pull behavior then that will cause change overall. Remember you cannot control the other person but you can control yourself, your behavior and your choices. Choose a different behavior.
Please understand you have free will. This advice is given only in the realm of personal growth and self-help. This is not to be considered a substitute for therapy or professional counseling. We wish you well."
---
i didnt get to read your topic deeply at the Scorpio forum much, i did see it but didnt really get into it, but push pull is someone who isn't ready.
http://www.positive-way.com/push_pull_relationships.htm
It's surprising how many persons go through life without ever recognizing that their feelings toward other people are largely determined by their feelings toward themselves, and if you're not comfortable within yourself, you can't be comfortable with others." How do you get past the "push pull relationships"? I feel I am in that sort of relationship and just don't know how to stop. I feel the other person must be getting something out of this relationship. signed, push pull, age 38
Dear push pull, Yes, you can bet the other person is getting something out of this relationship if it continues in this manner. Many times the push pull relationships represent Hidden Issues and Expectations. Please read our article on that topic and see if it may fit your situation.
Honestly the best way to get past this push pull relationship is to stop what you are doing and do something completely different. Get off the Merry Go Round in this relationship and that will change it all together. Once you stop being a part of this push pull behavior then that will cause change overall. Remember you cannot control the other person but you can control yourself, your behavior and your choices. Choose a different behavior.
Please understand you have free will. This advice is given only in the realm of personal growth and self-help. This is not to be considered a substitute for therapy or professional counseling. We wish you well."
---
i didnt get to read your topic deeply at the Scorpio forum much, i did see it but didnt really get into it, but push pull is someone who isn't ready.
i should have read that thread and contributed, but ah well. Lyse seems like a really good woman, her responses are Always sweet.
i think she will get a good man someday.
there's a dating topic Ssuperman posted. 😄
i think she will get a good man someday.
there's a dating topic Ssuperman posted. 😄
Posted by AquaMermaidi got to use the +1Posted by lisabethur8Posted by AquaMermaidmars is usually how they go about getting you, or approaching you. I guess his air mars was really fast in decision making with that scorpy venus.Posted by lisabethur8
i meant to post,
how strange that your Scorpio husband has Capricorn moon and he's the fastest one??
i thought earth makes one super slow.
and AM, you have fire mars and fire venus, and you're the slow one?? 😕
He is Venus in Scorpio. He goes after what he wants.And Cappy moons are very straightforward when they are sure of someone they love.I'm a Cancer mooner. I'm shy and introverted despite the fire Mars/Venus. He's the one who said " I love you" within few months, it took me a full year to say it back. He didn't run away. That's the Cap moon devotion. What's confusing you?
funnily, my husband was very very adamant too in wanting me, nothing would sway him. true devotion.
loyal and steadfast. I love that. Nothing wishy washy. i'm also shy and introverted.
i also need a man who walks the walk. so it was very true in my case.
*thumbs up*
Good! I've never chased a man.I'm old school plus I'm guarded about my emotions.I show the fire intensity only when I trust FULLY. He has a lot of fire in his chart as well,mainly Sagittarius. He's water/fire dominant. A man who wants you, will stick around no matter what.click to expand
😄
Posted by lisabethur8Thanks so much! This does really help.
@Lyse, the push pull thing is someone who deep down doesn't feel worth it. and doesn't think you want them.
http://www.positive-way.com/push_pull_relationships.htm
It's surprising how many persons go through life without ever recognizing that their feelings toward other people are largely determined by their feelings toward themselves, and if you're not comfortable within yourself, you can't be comfortable with others." How do you get past the "push pull relationships"? I feel I am in that sort of relationship and just don't know how to stop. I feel the other person must be getting something out of this relationship. signed, push pull, age 38
Dear push pull, Yes, you can bet the other person is getting something out of this relationship if it continues in this manner. Many times the push pull relationships represent Hidden Issues and Expectations. Please read our article on that topic and see if it may fit your situation.
Honestly the best way to get past this push pull relationship is to stop what you are doing and do something completely different. Get off the Merry Go Round in this relationship and that will change it all together. Once you stop being a part of this push pull behavior then that will cause change overall. Remember you cannot control the other person but you can control yourself, your behavior and your choices. Choose a different behavior.
Please understand you have free will. This advice is given only in the realm of personal growth and self-help. This is not to be considered a substitute for therapy or professional counseling. We wish you well."
---
i didnt get to read your topic deeply at the Scorpio forum much, i did see it but didnt really get into it, but push pull is someone who isn't ready.
Posted by AquaMermaidThank you 🙂
Lyse, I don't want to derail your thread. You come across as an awesome person. I really hope you get what you're looking for 'cause you deserve it. If you ever feel like sharing , you can PM me 🙂
I sure will. And it's okay. I'm glad my topic sparked other topics lol.
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