aeleogirl
@aeleogirl
9 Years
Comments: 1 · Posts: 19 · Topics: 2
HELP- Moody Cancer
He sounds like all he needs is a "buddy". Cancerian men CHOOSE who they want to get involved in (g/f relationship). Yeah, Cancerians are moody people. Can you stand that? They close up. I always use the scenario: Cancerians crawl in their shells...and all you see are their beady eyes lurking out". They crawl in their shells when something went wrong (in his case, the break up) and it take them FOREVER to forget about her.
I dated a Cancerian many, many moons ago. From what I've read here, they don't want a "lady". They want a strong Taurus woman (or another zodiac sign) where she cusses like a sailor, will not take butter from people, etc., etc, etc.! Well, my Cancerian married his "cusses like a sailor" (she ACTUALLY flipped the bird at me on the dance floor with over 100 people looking at her!!). Let him HAVE her!
Let him come to you. Since he "may" move out of state (they run from their problems) he's sulking. He's a big boy. Let him make his decisions (sounds like he doesn't have a steady job, or maybe he's getting a lateral transfer). Cancerians are smart hard working people. But when they fall, they fall HEAD OVER HEELS!
Good luck and keep us posted. 🤗
Love,
Eva
I dated a Cancerian many, many moons ago. From what I've read here, they don't want a "lady". They want a strong Taurus woman (or another zodiac sign) where she cusses like a sailor, will not take butter from people, etc., etc, etc.! Well, my Cancerian married his "cusses like a sailor" (she ACTUALLY flipped the bird at me on the dance floor with over 100 people looking at her!!). Let him HAVE her!
Let him come to you. Since he "may" move out of state (they run from their problems) he's sulking. He's a big boy. Let him make his decisions (sounds like he doesn't have a steady job, or maybe he's getting a lateral transfer). Cancerians are smart hard working people. But when they fall, they fall HEAD OVER HEELS!
Good luck and keep us posted. 🤗
Love,
Eva
Thanks EvatheDiva
I am having a hard time drawing a line before just being able to talk to him because he keeps talking to me and telling me his problems but then to be strong enough where i want to stand my ground and he needs to decide. Do i just ignore him?
I am having a hard time drawing a line before just being able to talk to him because he keeps talking to me and telling me his problems but then to be strong enough where i want to stand my ground and he needs to decide. Do i just ignore him?
How old are both of you?
Andalusia
I am 27 and he is 24
I am 27 and he is 24
Posted by aeleogirlMight be his Saturn return then. My advice would be to keep talking if you think you can handle it. But keep your emotional distance.
Andalusia
I am 27 and he is 24
andalusia
I am pretty emotional person idk who to keep that distance😢
I am pretty emotional person idk who to keep that distance😢
koniucha what is saturn return?
Posted by aeleogirl
.... he said we just need to let each other know when these issues are bothering us or if we are having bad weeks and stressed and need space and the other person needs to accept that and not take it personal (HE brought this up).
Since he is the one telling you that you need to stop taking everything so personal .... then don't you suppose that you should heed that advice?
He needs space, and you're not giving it ... that is what the above says.
You continue to tell us that he's still initiating contact, cuddles and respect to/for you .. he has not failed to keep you a priority, according to everything you have already testified to.
the only problem here is that you place more meaning to everything he does .. which is typical for insecure girls to do.
I honestly don't see anything he's done wrong, according to what you've said here. I do see you trying to smother all of his gestures with irrational expectations.
You even go so far as to say, "I can't just act like everything is fine" ..... which means you are completely intolerable to him, considering the only thing he stated to you was a fear that he might have to move away.
He can't even fucking talk to you ... without you running to other people to bitch and play victim.
The only thing I see wrong here is that you're too demanding and controlling.
Posted by aeleogirlIt's only been a couple of months.
I have been seeing a Cancer man for a couple months.
I think the letter was too much. It put pressure on him and it's too soon in the relationship to place that kind of pressure.
You're moving too fast. He's feeling smothered. Slow down, chill out and relax. Give him space and let HIM set the pace.
Stop over analyzing and try not to be insecure. You're going to blow it before you have a chance to build something.
i am terrible at overanalyzing. I always assume😢
koniucha...that usually when people are alone
Posted by P-Angelhe has been in a bad mood so he has been venting and telling me all about his days but is that wrong of me to be doing then? I guess idk how to give him space AND be there for him at the same time... I mean I know Cancers don’t always make the first move so idk what to do just not ask to see him until he does, still talk to him, not talk to him? All this when his words/actions in person doesn’t match up with his words over text and HIS own confusion is just really throwing me for a loop and confusing ME. Its like one day he wants a full blown GF and the next he doesntPosted by aeleogirl
.... he said we just need to let each other know when these issues are bothering us or if we are having bad weeks and stressed and need space and the other person needs to accept that and not take it personal (HE brought this up).
Since he is the one telling you that you need to stop taking everything so personal .... then don't you suppose that you should heed that advice?
He needs space, and you're not giving it ... that is what the above says.
You continue to tell us that he's still initiating contact, cuddles and respect to/for you .. he has not failed to keep you a priority, according to everything you have already testified to.
the only problem here is that you place more meaning to everything he does .. which is typical for insecure girls to do.
I honestly don't see anything he's done wrong, according to what you've said here. I do see you trying to smother all of his gestures with irrational expectations.
You even go so far as to say, "I can't just act like everything is fine" ..... which means you are completely intolerable to him, considering the only thing he stated to you was a fear that he might have to move away.
He can't even fucking talk to you ... without you running to other people to bitch and play victim.
The only thing I see wrong here is that you're too demanding and controlling.click to expand
Posted by KoniuchaOh ya that is true you said 29Posted by aeleogirlIt depends. It affects us all differently. Some in a good way, some in a bad way. But he is too young for that anyways.
koniucha...that usually when people are aloneclick to expand
but he is such a great guy but yes very wishy washy😢 idk what to do
He doesn't sound wishy washy in the least bit. Someone said that and you just ride her ovaries on it, because you're looking for excuses to continue being desperately insecure, without having to look at yourself.
He hasn't done anything wrong, according to what you wrote ... except get worried about the continuity of his relationship with you because he might move.
and you obviously have zero emotional control over yourself.
Sounds to me like the bad person in this relationship is you.
Posted by P-AngelI guess i have given him space and that lasted all of 2 days and he accused me not caring? And his action and words in person are totally different then over text.
He doesn't sound wishy washy in the least bit. Someone said that and you just ride her ovaries on it, because you're looking for excuses to continue being desperately insecure, without having to look at yourself.
He hasn't done anything wrong, according to what you wrote ... except get worried about the continuity of his relationship with you because he might move.
and you obviously have zero emotional control over yourself.
Sounds to me like the bad person in this relationship is you.
Giving someone space isn't ignoring him for 2 days.
You say you're 27 or 29 ... but, you have the emotional intelligence of a child.
Giving someone space is NOT ignoring them for days.
seriously ... what is the matter with you?
Are you lying to us and you really are like 15?
According to what you wrote in here, I don't see a contradiction in his texts vs. in person.
The problem is that YOU have placed definitions and meanings on everything he does and says ... and then you're expecting him to behave according to your demands.
His actions, according to you ... he texts, he cuddles, he communicates.
I'm finished with you. I simply cannot and will not, tolerate people who actually have brain cells, but, then act ignorant. It's not precious, nor adorable to play stupid.
Surely, you must think it's cute, because it appears as though you're enjoying playing stupid.
I'm not even going to wish you good luck .. because relationships aren't something you luck into .. .it's something a rational, respectable and decent adult builds, and works into.
You, clearly, have no intentions of being a considerate adult to him .... so, that means you get no consideration back.
don't worry ...... I won't post here again, and you will be free of me to continue playing stupid, when you were actually born with brain cells.
Posted by aeleogirlCancer men don't know what they want. I don't date them anymore because they'd say they need space. I'd give them all the space they want (I'm very independent), then accuse you of not caring. WTF? They will make vague statements then when you try to ask questions, they withdraw. So you stop. Then they get mad you didn't pry it out of them. Who's got time for that? I'm not begging someone to talk about something they brought up they don't want to talk about.Posted by P-AngelI guess i have given him space and that lasted all of 2 days and he accused me not caring? And his action and words in person are totally different then over text.
He doesn't sound wishy washy in the least bit. Someone said that and you just ride her ovaries on it, because you're looking for excuses to continue being desperately insecure, without having to look at yourself.
He hasn't done anything wrong, according to what you wrote ... except get worried about the continuity of his relationship with you because he might move.
and you obviously have zero emotional control over yourself.
Sounds to me like the bad person in this relationship is you.click to expand
But I'm projecting my own experiences here and that's not what your situation is about.
Honestly, since he doesn't know what his future holds, he's trying to keep it light. He might move, he might not. if he moves, he doesn't want any long distance ties. I don't think cancers do well with long distance, they like their significant other close and available.
My advice, be kind, reach out occasionally so he doesn't feel neglected, but in general let him set the pace. Wait it out and see what happens with his living arrangement. Then go from there.
I always put more weight on actions than words. If they don't match, that's a HUGE red flag and then I'm the one who will start distancing.
P-Angel has a valid point of the difference in space and ignoring. Space is allowing them their time, allowing them to do things without you. Ignoring is, well, acting like they don't exist. You can give space, but keep in touch.
Posted by truecapPosted by aeleogirlCancer men don't know what they want. I don't date them anymore because they'd say they need space. I'd give them all the space they want (I'm very independent), then accuse you of not caring. WTF? They will make vague statements then when you try to ask questions, they withdraw. So you stop. Then they get mad you didn't pry it out of them. Who's got time for that? I'm not begging someone to talk about something they brought up they don't want to talk about.Posted by P-AngelI guess i have given him space and that lasted all of 2 days and he accused me not caring? And his action and words in person are totally different then over text.
He doesn't sound wishy washy in the least bit. Someone said that and you just ride her ovaries on it, because you're looking for excuses to continue being desperately insecure, without having to look at yourself.
He hasn't done anything wrong, according to what you wrote ... except get worried about the continuity of his relationship with you because he might move.
and you obviously have zero emotional control over yourself.
Sounds to me like the bad person in this relationship is you.
But I'm projecting my own experiences here and that's not what your situation is about.
Honestly, since he doesn't know what his future holds, he's trying to keep it light. He might move, he might not. if he moves, he doesn't want any long distance ties. I don't think cancers do well with long distance, they like their significant other close and available.
My advice, be kind, reach out occasionally so he doesn't feel neglected, but in general let him set the pace. Wait it out and see what happens with his living arrangement. Then go from there.click to expand
It honestly feels like he will NEVER make up his mind. He was supposed to take this test for his job in april and he doesnt even have his date set and now he is looking at take it in june and if he doesnt pass he cant move. long time to wait i guess have to weight that out. but it does get exhausting when he actions dont match. but i dont ignore him i always respond to him
Posted by truecapTrueCap I dont ignore him. idk guess i feel like we talk everyday and he just tells me his problems i want to be there for him but also stay strong for me
P-Angel has a valid point of the difference in space and ignoring. Space is allowing them their time, allowing them to do things without you. Ignoring is, well, acting like they don't exist. You can give space, but keep in touch.
Posted by aeleogirlThat's good. Glad you clarified.Posted by truecapTrueCap I dont ignore him. idk guess i feel like we talk everyday and he just tells me his problems i want to be there for him but also stay strong for me
P-Angel has a valid point of the difference in space and ignoring. Space is allowing them their time, allowing them to do things without you. Ignoring is, well, acting like they don't exist. You can give space, but keep in touch.click to expand
Some people think giving space means not reaching out at all.
Posted by truecapYea i guess idk where that fine line is im going going to ignore him but i dont want to give there all the time and have him just think i will be ther and he can have it both ways. i guess give him time to miss me but we just got in the habit of telling each other everything. so idk how to go about it. It would be nice for him to miss me and say it but again he is a cancer and they dont that oftenPosted by aeleogirlThat's good. Glad you clarified.Posted by truecapTrueCap I dont ignore him. idk guess i feel like we talk everyday and he just tells me his problems i want to be there for him but also stay strong for me
P-Angel has a valid point of the difference in space and ignoring. Space is allowing them their time, allowing them to do things without you. Ignoring is, well, acting like they don't exist. You can give space, but keep in touch.
Some people think giving space means not reaching out at all.click to expand
Posted by aeleogirl
It would be nice for him to miss me and say it ....
In other words ... you just want to play for attention.
It's not really him, he's just a player in your game ... it could be any guy.
All of this whining you're doing is because he's not playing your game, he's not telling you he misses you.
Posted by aeleogirl
It would be nice for him to miss me and say it ....
That ^^^^ has nothing to do with him, nor the relationship.
You come in here and pretend as if this is a real love in your life, a real man .. and it's not, this has nothing to do with him, nor his character.
This is all about you and your ego wanting attention. the above quote verifies that.
You're not sincere, and it's only a matter of time before he realizes that he doesn't matter to you ........
Posted by starloverIgnore who?
Ignore her she has aspergers ....she is socially inept
Nobody takes much notice of her
@P-Angel I truly respect your insight, because it's opened my eyes to look at my own behavior. I am involved with a Cancer man, he and I are on totally different wavelengths when it comes to where we stand, but I see everything so clearly now. I need to accept what is, and decide whether or not I am willing to stick around. I no longer have expectations from him, and that is what is setting me free. He's voiced how he feels (through words and actions), I just now am choosing to listen. Internal growth is an amazing thing.
still just about you, it looks like.
of everything he's said .... your only come back again is to state how YOU feel, what YOU want
You don't seem like a very good girlfriend, tbh .... it's probably only a matter of time before he dumps you completely to look for a woman who will carry herself with some dignity, and have the confidence and security in being her own emotional support system.
You cannot even manage minute to minute, it looks like .. without having someone (him) to carry your emotions for you.
Do him a favor and let him be, so he can be available if/when a good woman comes along.
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