How do I talk to this cancer?

Okay so long story short, I met this cancer about a month ago, and while I might not have noticed it first, there was this intense connection between him and I. He told me like two weeks in he had a crush on me; so one night we hung out at his place. We had a good time until things got a little intimate, but I stopped him when they went a little too far and explained that I needed time before I could get that close to someone. Before leaving, he apologized to me for getting out of control and that next time he would be good. I wasnt even upset with him, but after that, I began to hear from cancer less. So I text him a week later very casually and we speak a little. Things seem fine; he texts me later that night, like 3am, and tells me that he wants me to be with him just to cuddle. He was upset, so I offered words of hope. Texted the next day asking if he was okay, but he doesnt text back and I havent heart from him since. In the meantime, hes been updating his statuses on facebook (so he's around) with lyrics and disheartening things about how he's lonely, ect. I'm completely into this guy, and Its driving me crazy that he isnt really speaking to me; I feel like he's overlooking how much I like him, but I cant tell if he's just not into me, if he's play a game, or if hes just in an incredible funk. So I want to write him how I feel right now, but I'm not sure how. What would be a good way to go about this? I'm aware that purusuing him could push him away, but I just need to get things off my chest and let him decide what he wants to do.

Hi. Thank you for responding and the welcome. 🙂

I'm not sure what his moon is. I'm thinking it could either be Taurus or Gemini.

I'm sure it doesn't say much, but I have my moon in Scorpio (and I'm a virgo).

What you've written so far says that you two were getting along, you rejected him, and then you started acting coldly. I KNOW that's not what you're saying - I'm telling oyu this is how it looks to him. He reached out to you looking for comfort and affection and you didn't offer it - so in his mind there is a connection to you telling him to slow it down and he thinks you're not interested and you're just trying to be polite about it.

Ughhh, that's what I was afraid of. My best friend kind of told me the same thing, and I just wanted to kick myself, if not the entire situation at hand. I want nothing more to somehow make this work, but I know hes probably not going to come to me. So, while I rarely do this, i'm going to him to clear things up. I don't think he has any idea how much I like him or how I feel we could probably connect on a much deeper level. I just got out of a weird thing with a Cap after 5 months and he played me for a bit (I even told him this). And from my knowledge, he just gout of a relationship a few months ago too. So I also couldn't tell if he was serious.

Well, I sent him a very short message after realizing the one I wanted to send made me sound a little desperate lol; and it's very hard for me to pour my heart out to someone if it's not face to face. I said to him that I really missed speaking to him since I felt we got off to a very good start. I also told him that I noticed he was upset and that if he needed anyone to talk to, that I'm always here.

I just figured it'd be a good way to start anything if I can. I'm not sure if he'll speak to me again (although he did when I texted him a week ago), but I do hope he knows that I care about him.

Sorry for the successive updates, but I'm in a state of confusion, lol. So the cancer did respond to my message. The thing is, he only responded with "Okay 🙂"

So, looking at it, he seems okay with what I said to him. However, I'm not sure what that means exactly, lol. Im trying not to read too much into it, but I'm just like, wtf?

Well when it comes to Cancer men, yes they can be a little confusing and/or sensitive. And while it IS very important that others crushing on them immediately understand this about them, it's ALSO just AS important that those who are crushing on them also be true to themselves. B/c other than being sensitive, another thing Cancers are GREAT at is being able to see through others. Communication is VERY important to them, and while yes, it might hurt them to hear the truth or to be rejected, understand that their respect for you doing so will eventually outweigh the disappointment that stemmed from it all.

Just tell him like you're telling us on Dxp. Of course, don't overwhelm him with a rash of your emotions, b/c surprisingly, Cancers (and ESPECIALLY men) like to be the main & sometimes ONLY ones doing that/being that way. BUT, tell him exactly why you stopped him that night. Tell him that you DO like him & that you do care about him. It's important too that this guy is going to have to learn & be able to understand/accept how YOU show love & how you chose to do things at certain paces. Don't allow him to make this ALL about him. It's all about your delivery; it's all in HOW you get your feelings across to him. Sure, there's always the chance that he might be a little more emotionally sensitive since he just got out of another relationship, BUT then again that shouldn't interfere with your ability to be yourself or communicate with him in the way you normally would with anyone else in this situation.

This guy really might be lonely & might be feeling some withdrawl just period; and it probably has nothing to do with you. After all, I'm HOPING that he wouldn't use posts on the internet as a means for expressing to you how he feels b/c if that were the case, that'd be kind of childish..and I say that b/c if his intention was to get YOUR attention on Fb, then that'd be okay if he ALSO personally came to you (vs. ignoring you) & told you personally. If not, that's passive/aggressive behavior & normally not a good sign period. Just open up to him. Try to explain your ways of thinking so that he can understand you the same way you're trying to learn/understand him

Posted by DyTryin


Give him a bit of encouragement, and he'll be bolder. I saw it time and again with my Cancer Friend.

Lol; yes, that is me in the avatar. I guess the problem is, I don't even know what kind of encouragement to give him at this point. I felt like I expressed myself and willingness to pursue something. I'm just being patient now and giving him space.

I did explain to the cancer why I couldn't go further with him and that I liked to take my time to build up something first. I told him it wasn't anything he did and that I still liked him; he told me he understood and said it was okay. And when he apologized for getting a little too frisky and texted me that he had a good time, I figured everything was alright. And I had finally expressed to him that I missed him and speaking to him. I guess I just feel nervous about trying to get a little more out of him if I could, but I don't plan on it. He still hasn't talked to me yet, so I'm assuming he's either not into me, he's very busy, or he's still going through this weird funk. I'm already becoming somewhat discouraged, but all the same, if he decides he wants to or doesn't want to, I"ll live.

He also either has a taurus or gemini moon, so that could be some contributing factor, lol.