How do you let go of someone

How do you let go of someone you built your whole life around? How do you mentally and emotionally get over it without being depressed? How do you just let someone go when you want to shake them and yell at them to snap out of it? Worst and most of all, how do you not be obsessive and harass them?

Build something new.

See the situation as objectively as you can. Understand that fundamentally the relationship wasn't meant to last, at least not as you two are right now. Go into each relationship and subsequent breakup as a learning experience rather than a source of pride.

Also know that you are not attached to the person, but to the expectation of what you thought the relationship could be. The reality may be much further from the fantasy you created in your mind. Understand that the parts that were broken were significant and should not exist in a healthy relationship.

Take time for yourself and surround yourself with positive influences (family, friends, hobbies, etc). Give yourself time to work through your thoughts and emotions. Also know that by focusing on yourself you spend little time obsessing over them. The other person WILL notice this. They'll notice that your focus is no longer on them, which will increase your value in their eyes (if they still care).

Good advices and easier said then done. I hope I survive and it's over fast.

Posted by Miaou

Posted by Thatgayal
How do you let go of someone you built your whole life around? How do you mentally and emotionally get over it without being depressed? How do you just let someone go when you want to shake them and yell at them to snap out of it? Worst and most of all, how do you not be obsessive and harass them?

Give yourself time.

Nothing else will magically make you feel better.

Learn to invest in yourself more.

Why obsess? Why harass? You don't think you can find someone who'll naturally want to be with you?

Pride sometimes is très necessary.

Keeps you from acting and looking crazy.

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Because you miss them and are used to them and need them.

Posted by Thatgayal
Good advices and easier said then done. I hope I survive and it's over fast.

how can you get over somebody fast, that you .."built your whole life around?"

there is no easy and fast way out.... unfortunately, it will take time

until you feel better, do the usual things what helped millions of people to get over somebody - according to your preferences: get drunk and cry it out, get together with friends and moan about him or say bad things about him, stay at home with ice-cream (or drink) and watch serials (detective/crime ones the best, they keep your mind focused), go to meetup.com events, sign up for a new language/skills course, come to dxp to vent, read other online forums on break-ups, so you get perspective, get to a gym and spa, buy new clothes, change your hair color.....

anything really, what will prevent you from harassing him

and you will see that slowly you will get over him/her

I am sorry you are hurting 😢

w! I feel for you! I had a relationship of 13 years that ended a couple years ago... It was awful and still can be sometimes.

Nothing heals like time does. I wanted to punch people in the face when they told me this during my worst stints, though. Let me see if I can offer some advice you can use. You got a great list of Do's. I will give that too but I'm gonna start with the Don'ts because I made every mistake in the book, lol....

*Don't think you're gonna drink your way through this in order to numb the pain and turn off the awful things that are flooding your mind.... The awful feelings will still be there. Finding an unhealthy crutch will only delay the process and therefore delay your healing. Face your emotions bravely, even though you are feeling weak. You cannot run from them. Trust me on that.

*Don't let emotionally unhealthy men talk/swoon you into a relationship when you are not ready for one. I'm sure you have suitors crawling out of the cracks. Don't go serious with any of them until you are dead ready.

*Do not make any major moves (career-wise, housing, relationships) until you are feeling clear-minded and like yo'self!

*Don't forget that this was not your fault, hun... Seriously. DON'T. Avoid the rabbit hole of self-blame at all costs.

*Don't forget to pamper yourself. The fun part is (if there is one? HAH) you get to put yourself first. Baths, cute clothes, nails, hair, whatevvvvver it is that makes you feel shiny and less ogre like. I felt like an ogre when ours ended.... I look back on my pics during that time and I'm happy to say I didn't look like one. Just a smidge of esteem boosting along the way, ya know?

*Don't contact that fool. Ever. again. for any reason.

DO!

-Rebound date - but lightly. No serious relationships! NONE! Just have fun and be safe about it.

-Fake it until you make it. I know you just feel awkward being a whole person again instead of a half... like so very awkward.

-Take time to pursue things that you didn't pursue before. Mine was art. Spelunking.

-Journal. This has saved my life. Nobody judges, nobody gives shoddy advice in my journal. You will sort your thoughts out this way. You will find yourself again through writing. I promise

-Put yourself and your health first.

-Volunteer some time to the less fortunate. This saved my life too.

I'm so sorry you are here, but know and remember that you will not be here forever.... When it gets really hard - remember those words. Keep. Trucking.

Coz your life can't stop or even be on hold coz of something someone did to you or coz of that one thing that happened n there's always something new to focus on.

I use tinder until I find someone hotter