When he's actually NOT trying to sleep with you ..

Originally Posted By: Kyreesrenee07 (think thats how she spelled it.lol)

-Within the 1st 6 (or less) months, what are you thinking?

Are you moreso thinking:
-It's b/c he's probably screwing other girls?
-It's b/c he doesn't desire me sexually?
-He really DOES want to sleep with me, but is just testing me to see if I'll make the 1st move?
-It's b/c he figures/convinces himself that if he has sex with you, that it'll activate your emotions for him (hence, your emotions for him are something he does NOT want to happen)?


OR are you more on the optimistic side of things:
-It's b/c he likes/respects me enough to "wait?"
-It's b/c he actually wants to get to know/fall in love/lust with my mind?
-It's b/c he's that 1 "different" guy that actually thinks sex is over-rated/unnecessary too early on?

1 of my Sociology professors told our class a long time ago that if a man hasn't yet tried to sleep with a woman within the 1st 6 months of him dating her (OR of him being in an official relationship with her), that it's b/c he's NOT that interested in her.

Of course all the women in the room gasped, sighed & wanted to knock him upside the head! Most of the women responded by saying, "Nuh uh! Maybe he's halting on having sex b/c he's different from other guys & actually doesn't want to mess up things! The men that actually DON'T try to sleep with me within 6 months are probably the 1's that like me the MOST!"

And then I noticed something weird...99% of the guys shook their heads & disagreed with almost every "theory" women had. The guys were saying that although yes, they may control their sexual desire to get into your panties IF they really like you, make no mistake about it, there WILL be some kind of hint/talk or SOMETHING b/c when a man is into you, it'll be almost impossible for him to suppress his sexual hunger for you.

In other words, the guys claimed that if a man hasn't tried to atleast "hint" that he wants the goods within the 1st 6 months, that it's probably a BAD thing!

Do you agree?

Was wondering because I'm dating a guy and he's great so far. We've kissed (No tongue, which I don't mind because I hate a sloppy kisser, YUCK!) So I'm cool with the long passionate kisses he gives with no tongue. Takes me out often, we spend almost everyday together, and it will be a month in a week that we've been dating. He's spent the night a few times and has not once tried to go there. I'm glad, but I gotta say I'm not used to it.lol. I normally have to kick guys out, or beat them off with a stick, but this one??_he's different. He??ll hold me, caress, but hasn't even reached for a boob at night.lol. That's a good thing??_right?
He's hinted but nothing too drastic. One time he sent me a picture of him in the shower (showing just his soapy chest) and told me to come get the soap off. He was joking but, that's about it. Another time he asked my views on contraceptives and if I??ve ever taken them. I know better than to try anything because when you meet a guy that ACTUALLY WANTS to take things slow, it's supposed to be a good thing. I thought. Lol. But I must say it turns me on to meet a guy that's NOT trying to get me. Lol. Crazy? I know. Has this ever happen to anyone else?

Posted by pinklibra
When he's actually NOT trying to sleep with you ..

When he is asleep.

nah Im jk, all jokes aside I would see this as a potential red flag.

I was reallly reallly impressed with the fact that my current ltr wasn't all horn-dogging me from the get-go. I really wanted to go slow, I had been celibate for 7 years i was not interested in jumping right into things.

But looking back I now see that it was a big giant sign, he was not really that sexual of a person in general. Not that there is anything necessarily wrong with that but I am incredibly over-sexed so it does cause issues. Now that we have been together a while and I am comfortable with him, I want to have sex all the time and hes happy with once or twice a week.

Not my ideal, not by a long shot.

Posted by pinklibra
Takes me out often, we spend almost everyday together, and it will be a month in a week that we've been dating.

Calm down, 3 weeks is not 3 months. He'll be jumping your bones soon, maybe this weekend 😉!

Posted by Undine

Posted by pinklibra
Takes me out often, we spend almost everyday together, and it will be a month in a week that we've been dating.

Calm down, 3 weeks is not 3 months. He'll be jumping your bones soon, maybe this weekend 😉!

click to expand

Glad I'm not the only one. I don't think he's going too slow. It's only a few weeks. He's kissing and holding, the intimacy is there. Guys just can't win, we're either moving too slow or too fast.

Hmm is he a virgin? If he is a virgin or doesn't know how to act around women then he wouldn't try to jump your bones right away. That is the only reason why I would see a guy waiting this long unless you made it clear to him you specifically want to wait for sex. Or possibly if he thinks you don't like him romantically. If he thinks you have friendzoned him then it might take him a bit longer to make a move. Is he a Cancer?

Is he a leo?

Posted by tiziani
To be fair she said it was a turn-on for her, so she's not complaining.

Thanks Tiz for noticing that comment.lol. I was reading other comments like huh?
And in no way do I think I'm friend zoned. Lol. He calls me baby, or bae (rarely by my name) and before anyone says it's because he's talks to other women, I highly doubt it because he makes it very known that I'm in his life and he likes me a lot. Like when he introduced me to his friends he called me his girlfriend 0_O he said it was because he didn't want them to think I was anything less, even though we are not official yet. I was just wondering about the physical part to get other women??s insight on if this happened to them before.lol
Honestly I don't want to press the issue because I would prefer a committed relationship before becoming intimate. Too many times in the past I gave in after 3 months or one time I made a guy wait 8 months and gave in with no real relationship on the table and came up with great sex, but no real connection on their end??_and in my opinion I'm left in my feelings and they are on to the next. So as I stated before his reaction towards me is bitter sweet. Makes me feel respected, and appreciated for parts of me other than what's between my legs, but at the same time it's making me want him! Lol.
And no he is not a Cancer (heck no!) and no he's not a leo either.lol He's a Gemini, though I??d prefer not to get hung up on the sign aspect. But trust he makes little passes letting me know it does cross his mind, he just hasn't made a move. I'm not sure I want him to just yet, but I just wanna make sure it is a good thing he's holding out a little lol. Right?

Funny how that works.

It crosses every man's mind don't you worry. Anyway it depends on the person, I'm the type that gauges everything, inlcuding sex, why? I don't see what is wrong with sex, if I'm going to be committed it better be good.

Posted by aquasnoz
Funny how that works.

It crosses every man's mind don't you worry. Anyway it depends on the person, I'm the type that gauges everything, inlcuding sex, why? I don't see what is wrong with sex, if I'm going to be committed it better be good.

I know, guys can do that and be fine if nothing comes of it. Women like myself that have tried it that way before often come up short. You'd be surprised how many guys can seriously fake being the right guy just to pop your panties.lol. Thats why i said he's like a breath of fresh air and
I'm turned on by how he's pacing himself it's attractive to meet someone that's
not sex crazed like the rest of our generation

I have yet to meet a guy who didn't try to cop a feel or use some tongue while making out...but hey, everyone is different. He sent you a pic of himself in the shower and asked you about contraceptive, so obviously there's some interest. Maybe he jut wants you to take the lead.

This is an old thread, but thought I'd post. Was just wondering if he has an erection when you two are in bed? blue balls and all... not fun.

i agree, esp if it's within the 1st 6 months.

i think a guy will refrain at first if he really likes u, but definitely not refraining for more than a month or two without some kind of move.

Posted by aquastyle15
i think a guy will refrain at first if he really likes u, but definitely not refraining for more than a month or two without some kind of move.

I agree.

Posted by Octoberfrost

Posted by saggyrl
I have yet to meet a guy who didn't try to cop a feel or use some tongue while making out...but hey, everyone is different. He sent you a pic of himself in the shower and asked you about contraceptive, so obviously there's some interest. Maybe he jut wants you to take the lead.

Yeah, I was thinking, while I don't find it odd that he hasn't initiated sex, I do think it's a little strange how he doesn't use tongue at all. Maybe he's afraid he won't be able to contain himself if he does? haha

It only takes one previous partner to shatter someone's confidence in that area. Or perhaps he simply doesn't like it that much.

*Cough* washing machine *cough*

Posted by DMV

Posted by aquastyle15
i think a guy will refrain at first if he really likes u, but definitely not refraining for more than a month or two without some kind of move.

I agree.

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A move can also be saying things like: "We will have sex when you are ready"

After that it's really up to her. Well not indefinitely of course but at least for the next few months if he is interested in her other than for her great ass.

I'll talk about it with my partners or dates but she will always be the one to make the call. After that it's fair game. 😄
Same with things like moving away from condoms.