EboneJay
@EboneJay
12 YearsTaurus
Comments: 2 · Posts: 132 · Topics: 17
Would you agree to be FWB?
Posted by Pisco26
I had a FWB relationship with a Virgo for 2 years and it ended on fine terms. In fact, we both sort of just found a gf/bf at the same time and just ended it that way. He had mentioned wanting to marry me after college but I never took that serious... I guess I just knew from the beginning, what the relationship was and what it never would be. I was obviously very attracted to him, which is why it went on for so long but I never thought of us in a relationship situation, because of that, I was never affected. It seemed like he felt the same way. I do think that we cared for each other quite a bit in the beginning but just grew to understand what we were doing and accepted it. Although, a big deciding factor was that we lived 4 hours away from each other. I could understand how living in the same city could complicate that sort of relationship further though.
Atleast things ended on good terms for you both. 🙂 I like how you said you understood what the relationship was, and would never be. I don't think other people can make that distinction like you. But, that I can understand.
Posted by EboneJay
It may just be because, I'm young and don't get everything about relationships yet LOL. But, why would you agree to be friends with benefits with someone. Then expect a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship out of it? I don't get it, not trying to pass judgement. I just truly don't understand. I feel like being fwb with someone you really like only brings heart break. Doesn't one person eventually develop deep feelings for the other?
Just noticed a pattern with some of the forums on here. Does anyone else agree?
The problem is that silly bitches think that this is a way to get the guy that they like into a relationship. They're sorely misinformed. Women get attached via sex whereas guys don't. So women, thinking like women, assume that sex will make the guy attached too.
So the reason why you can't understand is because this logic never makes sense to begin with.
If women want to get into something like this, they need to think like a man in regard to sex- it just being sex.
I was in one with someone and I think he expected me to get all attached and lovey dovey. HE'S the one who ended up getting all stupid and possessive about it.
Overall, it really depends on the individuals. Women are usually the biggest offenders, but the gist is if you find yourself getting attached easily, especially after sex, fwb really isn't for you.
Posted by rockyroadicecreamPosted by EboneJay
It may just be because, I'm young and don't get everything about relationships yet LOL. But, why would you agree to be friends with benefits with someone. Then expect a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship out of it? I don't get it, not trying to pass judgement. I just truly don't understand. I feel like being fwb with someone you really like only brings heart break. Doesn't one person eventually develop deep feelings for the other?
Just noticed a pattern with some of the forums on here. Does anyone else agree?
They're sorely misinformed. Women get attached via sex whereas guys don't.click to expand
I definitely agree, I either just have a one night hookup that sucks
or end up in a relationship.
FWB does not work for me personally because if i genuinely like the person feelings always blossom. (which is what it takes for me to enjoy sex)
Though I have had the "fwb" turn to a relationship a few times ( In these situations I could tell they cared about me as much as I did them at the time)
I was going to reply no way, but realized I was being too hard headed (Aries) about it.
So yes, for $ 5000 a night I will consider being an FWB. Sounds like a reasonable benefit to me.
Everyone knows the rules. Everyone is happy.
So yes, for $ 5000 a night I will consider being an FWB. Sounds like a reasonable benefit to me.
Everyone knows the rules. Everyone is happy.
They are FB/FWB and not BF/GF for a reason. 1) Emotional unavailability (one is in love with someone else). 2) Distance (one lives in a different town or will be leaving soon). 3) Socio-economical reasons (striking differences in education, wealth, popularity, skills, age, attractivity, standards, aspirations, etc).
Irrespectively of gender, the person who would profit mostly from being in a committed relationship is also the one getting more —attached??. This has nothing to do with being male or female. As this thread shows, women (including myself) had FB relationships and ended them without regret. If there is a sort of attachment, it is very distinct from love. Love is not an STD!
Irrespectively of gender, the person who would profit mostly from being in a committed relationship is also the one getting more —attached??. This has nothing to do with being male or female. As this thread shows, women (including myself) had FB relationships and ended them without regret. If there is a sort of attachment, it is very distinct from love. Love is not an STD!
Posted by ReallyNiceAriesPerson
I was going to reply no way, but realized I was being too hard headed (Aries) about it.
So yes, for $ 5000 a night I will consider being an FWB. Sounds like a reasonable benefit to me.
Everyone knows the rules. Everyone is happy.
This is called prostitution.
In a FWB relationship, similar benefits are expected to be exchanged. For free, since they are mutual!
If everyone follows the rules, everyone will be happy indeed.
Posted by UndinePosted by ReallyNiceAriesPerson
I was going to reply no way, but realized I was being too hard headed (Aries) about it.
So yes, for $ 5000 a night I will consider being an FWB. Sounds like a reasonable benefit to me.
Everyone knows the rules. Everyone is happy.
This is called prostitution.
In a FWB relationship, similar benefits are expected to be exchanged. For free, since they are mutual!
If everyone follows the rules, everyone will be happy indeed.click to expand
No to FWB
Yes to Prostitution
Posted by UndinePosted by ReallyNiceAriesPerson
I was going to reply no way, but realized I was being too hard headed (Aries) about it.
So yes, for $ 5000 a night I will consider being an FWB. Sounds like a reasonable benefit to me.
Everyone knows the rules. Everyone is happy.
This is called prostitution.
In a FWB relationship, similar benefits are expected to be exchanged. For free, since they are mutual!
If everyone follows the rules, everyone will be happy indeed.click to expand
Depends on what you consider a "benefit."
I don't NEED you to have sex. I'm a walking orgasmatron. I can sit here alone typing and slide off the seat.
You coming to my place to shag me and then piss off is just a waste of my time. No benefit to me.
No. It's a pretend game.
Posted by virgodreamzPosted by UndinePosted by ReallyNiceAriesPerson
I was going to reply no way, but realized I was being too hard headed (Aries) about it.
So yes, for $ 5000 a night I will consider being an FWB. Sounds like a reasonable benefit to me.
Everyone knows the rules. Everyone is happy.
This is called prostitution.
In a FWB relationship, similar benefits are expected to be exchanged. For free, since they are mutual!
If everyone follows the rules, everyone will be happy indeed.
No to FWB
Yes to Prostitutionclick to expand
Sorry, Virgo...the old trade in the world will be losing its appeal soon with all these horny, disinhibited and sexually experimental females. Money for nothing and chicks/cockks for free!
*oldest trade in the world*
Posted by ReallyNiceAriesPersonPosted by UndinePosted by ReallyNiceAriesPerson
I was going to reply no way, but realized I was being too hard headed (Aries) about it.
So yes, for $ 5000 a night I will consider being an FWB. Sounds like a reasonable benefit to me.
Everyone knows the rules. Everyone is happy.
This is called prostitution.
In a FWB relationship, similar benefits are expected to be exchanged. For free, since they are mutual!
If everyone follows the rules, everyone will be happy indeed.
Depends on what you consider a "benefit."
I don't NEED you to have sex. I'm a walking orgasmatron. I can sit here alone typing and slide off the seat.
You coming to my place to shag me and then piss off is just a waste of my time. No benefit to me.click to expand
FWB is not about getting an orgasm. Any sex toy will bring me there much faster than a cock.
It is about the whole experience.
...including the whore experience 🙂.
mind over matter.
Posted by EboneJay
Doesn't one person eventually develop deep feelings for the other?
Correction: Doesn't the woman eventually develop deep feelings for the man?
Posted by UndinePosted by virgodreamzPosted by UndinePosted by ReallyNiceAriesPerson
I was going to reply no way, but realized I was being too hard headed (Aries) about it.
So yes, for $ 5000 a night I will consider being an FWB. Sounds like a reasonable benefit to me.
Everyone knows the rules. Everyone is happy.
This is called prostitution.
In a FWB relationship, similar benefits are expected to be exchanged. For free, since they are mutual!
If everyone follows the rules, everyone will be happy indeed.
No to FWB
Yes to Prostitution
Sorry, Virgo...the old trade in the world will be losing its appeal soon with all these horny, disinhibited and sexually experimental females. Money for nothing and chicks/cockks for free!click to expand
I don't know about that. FWB entails mutual attraction in most cases right?
Some guys out there are still gonna have to pay if they want to get it (To be clear I'm not volunteering under those circumstances!)
but yeah, I've seen FWB work with two of my girlfriends. It was actually the guys that held on for a bit.
It is almost ALWAYS the guys that held onto a FB relationship for longer. This has a very simple explanation. They rarely get one! The number of men looking for a FB is at least 100 time higher than that of females! And I'm talking from my experience, not fantasy.
I think a lot of people confuse the meaning of friend with benefits. I see it in three levels.
See, like someone else said, there are women who take the crumbs hoping it will develop into something more. They are mistakenly wrong and will get a broken heart out of it.
Then there is the F-buddy. Sex only. No real friendship. They are not one who will come help you in the middle of the night if your car breaks down. They don't care. They are also the ones that will treat you like a whore.
Then there are real friends of the opposite sex who you just happen to sleep with occasionally. They care about each other and are physically attracted, but are not romantically attracted to each other. These are friends you can call when your car breaks down. Now this one, is okay. You're friends before, during and after.
See, like someone else said, there are women who take the crumbs hoping it will develop into something more. They are mistakenly wrong and will get a broken heart out of it.
Then there is the F-buddy. Sex only. No real friendship. They are not one who will come help you in the middle of the night if your car breaks down. They don't care. They are also the ones that will treat you like a whore.
Then there are real friends of the opposite sex who you just happen to sleep with occasionally. They care about each other and are physically attracted, but are not romantically attracted to each other. These are friends you can call when your car breaks down. Now this one, is okay. You're friends before, during and after.
Remember the movie Bridesmaids? Kristen Wigg's relationship with Jon Hamm in the beginning. That was a F-buddy. Ewww! Who wants to be treated like that?
Sadly, some guys view FWBs as F-buddies and the women see it as a potential relationship.
Sadly, some guys view FWBs as F-buddies and the women see it as a potential relationship.
I think FB either evolves into a FWB relationship or it doesn't last long. There is a lot of information exchange (even prior to hooking up), intimacy, games, role playing, offers for help, etc.
Sex in itself is not strong enough to keep someone interested. Apparently, men are programmed to only have "casual" sex 5-6 times with the same woman (that would have been the number of copulations sufficient to get our female ancestors pregnant, before monogamy became the norm).
And I don't think I'm programmed to have casual sex at all! I consider FB a serious relationship, only free of emotional demands, commitment and future.
Sex in itself is not strong enough to keep someone interested. Apparently, men are programmed to only have "casual" sex 5-6 times with the same woman (that would have been the number of copulations sufficient to get our female ancestors pregnant, before monogamy became the norm).
And I don't think I'm programmed to have casual sex at all! I consider FB a serious relationship, only free of emotional demands, commitment and future.
Posted by ellessque
I have a question about truecap's #3 scenario.
Don't you think that might be a little counterproductive and burden people's ability to form a long term committed relationship?
I'm just curious of others thoughts on that.
In that set up, you basically have all the bells and whistles of a relationship.....but none of the headaches of a real relationship. If those are all you ever get used to having....wouldn't that completely put you off on having a real relationship? I mean, why bother? You basically have everything you need. It's like a new definition of "marriage" without the paperwork, health benefits, mortgage payments, kids, in laws, finances.....etc.
It's sounds ideal....I don't know why so many put a negative light on that.
I don't know if I could do that for long-long term......but I don't see any disadvantages, unless you are actually looking to get "married".
*shrugs*
The problem is that is really what true FWB is and a lot of women think what they have is that, but they don't. They have a F-buddy when they think it is what we described. There is a difference. There are the women accepting crumbs without a mature definition of true FWB. My scenario is a very adult scenario with honest, mature people who have an actual conversation about what they are doing.
Posted by truecapPosted by ellessque
I have a question about truecap's #3 scenario.
Don't you think that might be a little counterproductive and burden people's ability to form a long term committed relationship?
I'm just curious of others thoughts on that.
In that set up, you basically have all the bells and whistles of a relationship.....but none of the headaches of a real relationship. If those are all you ever get used to having....wouldn't that completely put you off on having a real relationship? I mean, why bother? You basically have everything you need. It's like a new definition of "marriage" without the paperwork, health benefits, mortgage payments, kids, in laws, finances.....etc.
It's sounds ideal....I don't know why so many put a negative light on that.
I don't know if I could do that for long-long term......but I don't see any disadvantages, unless you are actually looking to get "married".
*shrugs*
The problem is that is really what true FWB is and a lot of women think what they have is that, but they don't. They have a F-buddy when they think it is what we described. There is a difference. There are the women accepting crumbs without a mature definition of true FWB. My scenario is a very adult scenario with honest, mature people who have an actual conversation about what they are doing.click to expand
And when two people have that mature, honest agreement, then forming real relationships can form with other people and is encouraged by the FWB. So, no, it serves its purpose and doesn't intercede from developing a real relationship with someone else.
I have done it in the past, and if I became single again, I would do it again if I found the right person. However, it would have to be with a person I liked enough to call a friend. One night stands are not FWB candidates. Its all about timing with FWB. You can't just decide to be in a FWB relationship. BOTH parties have to be secure in their desire to be single, and it has to grow. You have to be friends first which in itself is hard because usually, one of the two people involved in a 'friendship' wants more.
You have to like each other like a buddy, not a lover. Otherwise, someone is going to get their feelings hurt. In alot of ways, FWB is more complicated than an actual relationship.
Just my $ 0.02
You have to like each other like a buddy, not a lover. Otherwise, someone is going to get their feelings hurt. In alot of ways, FWB is more complicated than an actual relationship.
Just my $ 0.02
I just blogged about this topic, take a look for my 2 cents...
http://rastawomyn.blogspot.com/2013/04/friends-with-benefits-not-fairytale.html
http://rastawomyn.blogspot.com/2013/04/friends-with-benefits-not-fairytale.html
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It may just be because, I'm young and don't get everything about relationships yet LOL. But, why would you agree to be friends with benefits with someone. Then expect a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship out of it? I don't get it, not trying to pass judgement. I just truly don't understand. I feel like being fwb with someone you really like only brings heart break. Doesn't one person eventually develop deep feelings for the other?
Just noticed a pattern with some of the forums on here. Does anyone else agree?