Clinging after sex?

I know I'm good not the best but why is it after sex women seem to cling, call constantly, and be around ALL the time like we just sealed the deal and I'm so honest before we go any further I always say I'm not looking for relationship, but we can be friends.

Posted by Rabbit
A warm washcloth helps...

Warm washcloth for a clingy woman? Wow

Lol

Posted by starlover
Before having sex with women ( presuming you are a teen)? go read about them

We are emotional beings that connect with the heart....

Were you not taught this??

But understand I'm not talking about disrespect, some don't understand when I say its just sex, before we do anything then you say, okay. Then it happens and now the next day you want me to love you.

And no, I'm not a teen

Posted by StillWater

Posted by KD1TheeLeo

Posted by starlover
Before having sex with women ( presuming you are a teen)? go read about them

We are emotional beings that connect with the heart....

Were you not taught this??

But understand I'm not talking about disrespect, some don't understand when I say its just sex, before we do anything then you say, okay. Then it happens and now the next day you want me to love you.

Well could be two reasons:

1) They think they can handle it. remember human beings are not robots, anything goes without notice or logic. -_-

2) They thought they could make you fall in love with them with the sex.

It's similar to a woman accepting a date from a guy on the basis of friendship but the guy continues to try to woe her.

click to expand

True. True. I guess what bothers me is the mass quantity of how it happens.

Don't generalize, please. I'm the opposite of clingy, for example.

Posted by KD1TheeLeo
I know I'm good not the best but why is it after sex women seem to cling, call constantly, and be around ALL the time like we just sealed the deal and I'm so honest before we go any further I always say I'm not looking for relationship, but we can be friends.

google 'oxytocin'....

Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio

Posted by KD1TheeLeo
I know I'm good not the best but why is it after sex women seem to cling, call constantly, and be around ALL the time like we just sealed the deal and I'm so honest before we go any further I always say I'm not looking for relationship, but we can be friends.

google 'oxytocin'....

click to expand

Facilitates attachment in mole rats...?

Has any of you become attached to a sex toy?

It takes far more than sexual satisfaction to get attached.

You you want to get a woman like me attached, you have to convince her that you are one of the best life partners she could get. Sex is not enough.

Posted by StillWater

Posted by Undine
Has any of you become attached to a sex toy?

It takes far more than sexual satisfaction to get attached.

Does my shower head count?

LMAO. Why am i being so dirty these days. excuse me, while I punish myself with a time out.

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Don't worry, I used it too. The tap of my new bath is not long enough 🙂!

Posted by KD1TheeLeo
I know I'm good not the best but why is it after sex women seem to cling, call constantly, and be around ALL the time like we just sealed the deal and I'm so honest before we go any further I always say I'm not looking for relationship, but we can be friends.

Its those damn hormones women have. lol!

Posted by starlover

Posted by Undine
Has any of you become attached to a sex toy?

It takes far more than sexual satisfaction to get attached.

Sex toys dont have hearts and souls and eyes to look into

what a very strange and cold analogy 😢

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So it's not the sex per se, but the effect of "looking into their hearts and souls and eyes", which is optional during sex.

The sex toy analogy was used to help differentiate between sexual satisfaction and anything else possibly going on at the same.

Posted by Undine
You you want to get a woman like me attached, you have to convince her that you are one of the best life partners she could get. Sex is not enough.

Posted by KD1TheeLeo
I know I'm good not the best but why is it after sex women seem to cling, call constantly, and be around ALL the time like we just sealed the deal and I'm so honest before we go any further I always say I'm not looking for relationship, but we can be friends.

If you really want sex with no strings attached boo you need to just go find you a prostitute and pay for you services both of you will walk away happy. Smdh

Posted by Undine

The sex toy analogy was used to help differentiate between sexual satisfaction and anything else possibly going on at the same.

Posted by LilyTree
Nature has designed it so that women get attached to the man she gets intimate with, most especially after her first time engaging in sexual intercourse. The ideal situation is for a woman to lose her virginity to her husband whom she would get attached to emotionally, physically, spiritually, and give him her loyalty. Since he would be her husband, that situation would be perfect and natural for both involved.

Nature doesn't "design", nature evolves. We shouldn't confuse attachment with dependency. Dependency driven by the fact that our ancestors lived in a patriarchal society, in which women had nothing outside family.

We don't necessarily know how attached to their husbands those women really were. Men were dying young those days.....poison, anyone?

....and the payback for poison would be herpes eh?

Posted by LetltB

Posted by Undine

The sex toy analogy was used to help differentiate between sexual satisfaction and anything else possibly going on at the same.

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I thought your eyes were here:

Yea, no shit..are those warts oozing out?

Posted by LilyTree

Posted by Undine

Posted by LilyTree
Nature has designed it so that women get attached to the man she gets intimate with, most especially after her first time engaging in sexual intercourse. The ideal situation is for a woman to lose her virginity to her husband whom she would get attached to emotionally, physically, spiritually, and give him her loyalty. Since he would be her husband, that situation would be perfect and natural for both involved.

Nature doesn't "design", nature evolves. We shouldn't confuse attachment with dependency. Dependency driven by the fact that our ancestors lived in a patriarchal society, in which women had nothing outside family.

We don't necessarily know how attached to their husbands those women really were. Men were dying young those days.....poison, anyone?

I stand by what I said. The fact that many women are oh-so-independent and self-reliant these days and yet still experience attachment to a man they've had sex with, in my mind, shows it's a woman's nature. And, to me, it makes perfect sense why it's like that.

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And did you ask some of these women what keeps them attached to their partners, and they replied: "Oh, it's just the sex?" 🙂

Posted by Undine

And did you ask some of these women what keeps them attached to their partners, and they replied: "Oh, it's just the sex?" 🙂

lol..leave that to whores are spewing and advertising how proud they are to be a whore.

Just for you dear: (and screwing mulitple men at once has nothing to do with it)😉

...absolutely NOTHING.

"I would say there is nothing more beautiful for a man than a woman who feels deeply and shows it."

Is this your experience Starlover, cause mines was quite the opposite?

Simply telling a woman beforehand that you want no strings attached doesn't override human nature and emotions...even if the woman herself would like it to.

A solution for your issue would be to have sex with people you actually love.

Posted by LilyTree

Posted by Undine

Posted by LilyTree

Posted by Undine

Posted by LilyTree
Nature has designed it so that women get attached to the man she gets intimate with, most especially after her first time engaging in sexual intercourse. The ideal situation is for a woman to lose her virginity to her husband whom she would get attached to emotionally, physically, spiritually, and give him her loyalty. Since he would be her husband, that situation would be perfect and natural for both involved.

Nature doesn't "design", nature evolves. We shouldn't confuse attachment with dependency. Dependency driven by the fact that our ancestors lived in a patriarchal society, in which women had nothing outside family.

We don't necessarily know how attached to their husbands those women really were. Men were dying young those days.....poison, anyone?

I stand by what I said. The fact that many women are oh-so-independent and self-reliant these days and yet still experience attachment to a man they've had sex with, in my mind, shows it's a woman's nature. And, to me, it makes perfect sense why it's like that.

And did you ask some of these women what keeps them attached to their partners, and they replied: "Oh, it's just the sex?" 🙂

Who ever claimed it was just the sex? The psychology of this nature goes much deeper than that. Come on now.

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And that is actually what I was saying on this thread. That it takes more than sex to get someone attached! So you ended up agreeing with me 😉

Posted by starlover
Yes always Undine! Every relationship i was in the man said it was my depths and warmth they loved 🙂

But i gave so much to them....faithful and loyal and very very passionate and loving, so i guess that figures

Thought you were in love with a man you don't even see now? (no intention to cause offense, same case here 🙂)

Posted by LilyTree
"Just the sex", this is a phrasing I disagree with. It's dismissive and belittling as if sex should be treated like a game of checkers. I am not surprised, however, as this is a popular mindset in western/common society these days.

Good. Yet you are on the thread "clinging after SEX" and tried to explain why that was the case.

In the OP, there is the mention of sex and not much more.

I just want to make sure what you were talking about, because your statements were contradictory!

Posted by LilyTree

Posted by Undine

Posted by starlover
Yes always Undine! Every relationship i was in the man said it was my depths and warmth they loved 🙂

But i gave so much to them....faithful and loyal and very very passionate and loving, so i guess that figures

Thought you were in love with a man you don't even see now? (no intention to cause offense, same case here 🙂)

What does this say about the act of sexual intercourse? Society is so degrading and warped, that isn't *shrug* "just sex."

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Again. You are now saying that "Society is so degrading and warped, that isn't *shrug* "just sex." This implies that the society is not "degrading" if it were "just sex".

Just be careful what you are talking about.

LOL, I see you are a Virgo. Your Mercury is probably in Cancer. You go forwards and backwards on a subject.

How about you keep your dick in your pants?

Explaining AFTER letting everything lead up to going as far as sex that you just want to be friends is your biggest problem here.

Way to be a selfish cunt, honey. You need to clarify before you do the deed.

No pity from this end. You and that dipshit Leo over in the Libra forum need to realize you're just shitty in how you handle things and when leaving deciding up to a 4-6 in appendage.


LOL, nvm. I see that you're a Leo too? WHAT A SHOCKER. You guys are fucking tools, I swear.

You just haven't met an ice cold princess yet haha

Believe me KD there are woman out there that won't call you after sex, or even if you die.

read up on the chemical Oxytocin (not the drug oxycotin)

If a girl isn't clingy to you somewhat after sex then you didn't do your job as far as I am concerned. Girls want you to be their superman and look at you like you just introduced them to God lol.

Send me to the moon and let stay wrapped up in your arms for hours 😉 meow.

Posted by Annie56
read up on the chemical Oxytocin (not the drug oxycotin)

Neuroscience. 2012 Jan 10;201:114-24. doi: 10.1016/j.neuroscience.2011.11.017. Epub 2011 Nov 15.
Love is more than just a kiss: a neurobiological perspective on love and affection.


"Love, attachment, and truth of human monogamy have become important research themes in neuroscience. After the introduction of functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging (fMRI) and Positron Emission Tomography (PET), neuroscientists have demonstrated increased interest in the neurobiology and neurochemistry of emotions, including love and affection. Neurobiologists have studied pair-bonding mechanisms in animal models of mate choice to elucidate neurochemical mechanisms underlying attachment and showed possible roles for oxytocin, vasopressin, and dopamine and their receptors in pair-bonding and monogamy. Unresolved is whether these substances are also critically involved in human attachment. The limited number of available imaging studies on love and affection is hampered by selection bias on gender, duration of a love affair, and cultural differences. Brain activity patterns associated with romantic love, shown with fMRI, overlapped with regions expressing oxytocin receptors in the animal models, but definite proof for a role of oxytocin in human attachment is still lacking. There is also evidence for a role of serotonin, cortisol, nerve growth factor, and testosterone in love and attachment. Changes in brain activity related to the various stages of a love affair, gender, and cultural differences are unresolved and will probably become important research themes in this field in the near future. In this review we give a resume of the current knowledge of the neurobiology of love and attachment and we discuss in brief the truth of human monogamy."



Shortly:
Definite proof for a role of oxytocin in human attachment is still lacking. There is also evidence for a role of serotonin, cortisol, nerve growth factor, and testosterone in love and attachment.

Testosterone 🙂!!!!

Posted by saggggggirl
Girls are more likely to get extremely attached to a guy after sex even if they didn't like them much in the first place, that's why Its wise stay away from casual sex

But there are women out there that can do the friends with benefits thing

Which survey concluded that? You are just repeating some nonsense chinese whispers, or generalize your own experience.

If you find a survey in which thousands of women have been asked about their experience with attachment after sex, I can predict that a small fraction (mainly young, inexperienced and under-occupied) will indeed claimed to become attached. The same fraction would most likely feel attached also when males pinch their bottom, calls them sissy, or even look at them. It's all in their genetic makeup, ignorance and preoccupation with the oppsite sex.

Posted by rockyroadicecream
How about you keep your dick in your pants?

Explaining AFTER letting everything lead up to going as far as sex that you just want to be friends is your biggest problem here.

Way to be a selfish cunt, honey. You need to clarify before you do the deed.

No pity from this end. You and that dipshit Leo over in the Libra forum need to realize you're just shitty in how you handle things and when leaving deciding up to a 4-6 in appendage.


LOL, nvm. I see that you're a Leo too? WHAT A SHOCKER. You guys are fucking tools, I swear.

hahaha! well said rocky.
anyhoo... methinks he's a-trollin 😉

Posted by saggggggirl
Girls are more likely to get extremely attached to a guy after sex even if they didn't like them much in the first place, that's why Its wise stay away from casual sex

But there are women out there that can do the friends with benefits thing

I don't think "sex" is the bases of attachment. I think time spent, common interests, emotional talks, connecting is what makes people attach. While it is a part of intimacy I don't think it's the bases of what holds a " loving " connection together.


The women you are referring to " liking someone they don't even like " may just really enjoy sex or are addicted to the possible drama the step - up may have for them. Usually people like that aren't attaching to anything that is "love " based. May just be the thrill or the sex.


Sex doesn't = Love. But it is an inmate thing which can be part of love.


I just think it's important to understand there are different levels of attachment. And when you see woman being overly attached, really crazy clingy, maybe suicidal, and calling a man over 84390248 times a day. She does not love him. Ok. She is mental unstable. That has nothing to do with being a women.

Both gender's are effected by personality disorders and mental illness.


It worries me that people can't see that.


Than there are women/men who are responsible for their emotions and engage in consenting non commitment activities with a person or in a monogamous relationship.

Undine and Sag89 why don't you guys just start fucking each other and merge your poster-child statues...



You can make sexy, plunging t-shirts and bring along your binders of statistics to present to men who accept fwb... but decline relationships with you when you reveal your love for the pump and dump.

When you tell them you've put your past behind you and have decided you are ready to settle down your theories and stats will be very useful because their personal feelings and opinions can not stand up to polls, now can they.

Posted by size zero superhero


Part of what influences women's sex-related hangups, I suspect, is not a biological force...but a man-made entity known as widespread organized religion. Its cultural impact; particularly the expectation/responsibility for women to be more "chaste" than men according to various scriptures & numerous sacred texts, surely has something to do with the way women view sex, versus men.

I doubt religious texts are at the root of the problem here. If you look at the West, even the most devoted practitioners of doctrines from the most widespread religious texts, really are not following the doctrines around sexuality and monogamy very well. Biology is really at the root of religious behavior itself, and of course religion is often a system of symbols and rituals specifically designed to strengthen prior deeply engrained *cultural* values.

To Shellshocker & co:


And you keep having sex, otherwise your attachment is gone out of the window, like an air balloon or a big warm fart 🙂!

Posted by Undine

Posted by Annie56
read up on the chemical Oxytocin (not the drug oxycotin)

Definite proof for a role of oxytocin in human attachment is still lacking. There is also evidence for a role of serotonin, cortisol, nerve growth factor, and testosterone in love and attachment.

Testosterone 🙂!!!!

click to expand

In that Neuroscience journal, they are talking about "definite proof" in neuro-imaging. Putting aside the problems of "definite proof" in any science, and with the obsessive demand for, and problems of interpretation with, neuro-imaging (see Legrenzi and Umilta's _Neuromania_ for a good overview of the issues here), there has still been plenty of evidence over the last decade for oxytocin's role in *human* bonding/attachment from other disciplines. And yes *of course* both estrogen and testosterone have a role to play as do other horomones (e.g. vasopressin).

Oxytocin's effect on bonding has been shown in men and women. Studies with (human) males have shown that oxytocin increases aspects of bonding (loyalty/monogamy) and attraction to a partner, working in tandem with the brain's reward system. Its thought by some that this is at the root of some of the addiction-like withdrawal symptoms of breakups. The "prosocial" effect of ecstacy/MDMA have also been correlated with the drug's inducing significant increase of oxytocin levels in human blood, while other studies provide evidence that oxy. increases trust which is a key component to human bonds of all types. Estrogen has psychological properties and effects very similar to those of oxytocin and actually regulates oxytocin, increases its binding, etc. - this is particularly the case with females as they have more estrogen and thus experience stronger effects from oxytocin. Levels spikes during labor, nursing, petting/touching/massage, and very significantly (5-fold increase) during orgasm. It spikes for men during orgasm as well, but both testosterone and vasopressin (which synergizes with test.) contribute to a man's psychological desire for "separateness", and after orgasm in men, oxytocin levels drop sharply and vasopressin spikes.

Posted by size zero superhero


All I know is, until these inferiority-based myths die off, estrogen will continue to be seen as burdensome & detrimental to competency in most every aspect of existence.

Who sees estrogen as burdensome and detrimental? And in what context? Every aspect of existence? That's a little over the top to say the least. Is estrogen seen as detrimental to child-rearing for instance?

Thanks for your insight, TaurusLovesScorpio.

I wish it were true, a magic love hormone to make me fall in love (and attached at the hip) with anyone I had sex with. It would eliminate heartbreak, which is almost always caused by the anxiety that you will never meet someone to make you fall in love just like your ex did. It will justify arranged marriages and hunting a husband with a list in your hand, ticking boxes......you know, love will certainly follow once you have sex 😉.

Posted by starlover
I think *air* is the key word here

And here is Shellshocker's T-shirt:

I wasn't really addressing this thread on attachment via sex Undine, it was just one of the many, many threads featuring your unrelenting approbation of slagdom. I just commented here.

I mean, if there are post about adulterers, fwb or women being forced into sexual servitude to men simply because they want to fuck them... you'll find Undine... spread wide. 😄

By all means keep your sexual expression and I hope it works out for you, but why the need to go on and on and on about it? Keep banging away, work those odds via numbers. If you can't find a keeper you'll always have the guys who'll nod in support and agreement... until they work the shit out of the "benefits".

then... *crickets*