dating someone whos trying to clear a debt?

Does anyone have positive experiences to share with me?

As an independent 20something with own place, vehicle, tidy job etc. I am used to doing what I want and when without too many restrictions.

My other half of 18months is in process of paying off a debt he got into a few years ago, so is not so financially stable right now and is currently living with his parents home. (does pay rent)

In order to pay off the debt he is working all the hours under the sun to pay it off, therefore having little time to spend with me.

I believe he is the one for me and I cant imagine being with anyone else but sometimes I find it hard to cope with when I dont see him for 2 weeks coz of his work schedule.

His debt is taking longer to pay off than I thought it would be and we keep having arguments over the same issue- not spending enough time together. (mainly when I suggest us doing something on such and such date or weekend and he says he wont be able to as he'll be in work.) The more times this happens the more disheartened I get and then get frustrated by how little we get to do as a couple.

I really just need some supportive advice off others who have been in the same situation, as I want to "hang in there" with him.

Thanks

Sorry I should rephrase that to "in a relationship" with someone, as we are definately passed the dating stage and are serious about each other having even discussed marriage and moving intogether in the future.

"I believe he is the one for me and I cant imagine being with anyone"

Thats your answer and test right there. Its not like he is hanging with the guys getting wasted
and what not. He is trying to pay off a debt. You are gonna have to be a bit more patient with him
if he is the one for you as you say. Find something to do with your time and stop fussing with him about
a situation you really can't do anything about. UNLESS you are willing to help him pay the debt off.
You must be a LEO chic..lol

Striking-

I want to stick with him coz he says it won't be like this forever, but it feels like its taking forever for anything to change. Perhaps I need him to sit down and show me some sort of plan for his and my future?
Part of me feels miserable though because I want to enjoy doing couple things and go places, see things, do things together but we cant through lack of time more than money!

I just need encouragement to hand in there and that things will improve.

ps. I am pisces/aries cusp but rising is leo.

There's no way for us to know if it will improve. Was he working on these financial issues when you meet him? I only ask to see if you even have a frame of reference to compare him against. Financial worries can cripple some poeple. It is very good that he is focused on paying off his debts, if you two do decide to make a run at it down the road you will be thankful he isn't bringing all that along.

However, if you are a priority in his life then he needs to show you that as well. It is possible that once his finances are in order he will simply fill that void with someother things that he needs to deal with. You can tell what is important to someone by how they spend their time. You cannot live by prioritizing your schedule, you have to schedule your priorities. If you matter to him, he needs to MAKE time for you. Yes work and paying bills is important but if you neglect other areas of your life they may not be there when you come looking for them again.

You do need to sit down and talk to him. You should ask what his thoughts and plans are but perhaps more importantly, you need to share with him how you feel. We are not mind readers. Even if something seems like common sense to you, it doesn't mean it even hits someone else's radar. Tell him you care about him and the future of your relationship but you are not satisfied with certain aspects of it. As long as you aren't trying to monopolize his every free second he should be able to understand.

"ps. I am pisces/aries cusp but rising is leo."


Ha,ha I felt the Leo in their somewhere. Also I am a Pisces and as you I like to spend time with my man, but I can go
a nice lil while without seeing him and occupy my time just fine. Aries is just an impatient sign over all. BTW it may be more to this then just a debt not being paid. YOU sound unsure of the relationship just in general. And that is the issue and what needs to be addressed. Have the sit down with him and see how you feel afterwards before you make a decision. GOOD LUCK!!