Eating is not cheating ......

.. is what a straight man would 'say' he thinks if his woman slept with another woman.


But, is this a lie?


Let's talk about what is cheating using the above theory ...


If your man slept with another man, would you really be upset? When a guy cheats on his woman the first words out of her mouth is "Do you love her" ... because she isn't thinking about the sexual contact that he's done, she isn't upset about the sex, she is upset because she fears that he doesn't LOVE her, that he might love the other woman.

So, in theory .... it isn't the sexual contact that she is measuring "cheat", it is the emotional bond .. if he sleeps with another, then he might LOVE the other. Fuck isn't even in the equation.

So, if he fucks another man .... that's ok?


What about homosexuals? If your man slept with a woman, is that not considered a threat to your relationship with him?


And isn't always about threat? Yes, it is. A FEAR that you might lose this person and the other is a threat to you, to this bond you have with him/her.

So, if the partner sleeps with the opposite/same sex (appropriately) .. is this a threat to your relationship?

I'm honestly not as bothered by the idea of a boyfriend sleeping with a man as a another woman. If he cheated with a woman it would be over but with a man... it just doesn't feel the same to me. I imagine male/male sex and male/female sex feels quite different and potentially satisfies different urges. If he was gay and hiding it then I would be mad because I would have been planning a future with him and it would be based on a lie but after I calmed down we could probably be friends again since I could probably understand why he acted that way.

If he was more bisexual and there was one certain guy he also cared about and wanted to sleep with then, assuming I got on with the other guy and could be friends with him too, I would probably be ok with it. And assuming of course that he could give both people vaguely equal attention so the relationship was as fair as it could be. I would be initially shocked/mad that he hadn't talked to me about it but after that it really wouldn't bother me like it would with another woman.

I can understand where you are coming from ... for women, it's emotional.



If a guy cheated on his girl (with another woman) and it was with a girl he knew ... his woman would be livid, battering him with emotional rage over him loving the other woman ... love. She might leave him, divorce him because this was the ultimate act of betrayal .. he LOVED another woman.

If this same guy slept with a girl to whom he didn't know and couldn't even remember her name because he was too drunk, or whatever ... then his woman would be pissed and throw a fit, but, not much of one because no love lost was involved. His woman likely wouldn't even think about ending the relationship and would continue doing his laundry .... because no love was involved.



So, it isn't about sex that makes a cheater .... it's about feelings.

Straight men get cheated on all the time by their women .. and the straight woman is quite double-standard when it comes to this, and her man pretty much says nothing.



A woman in a relationship shares her deepest feelings with other people, to include how she loves, how she feels about loving her man ... with other people.

To love another is emotional ... and to share these feelings with another is cheating. These feelings belong to him, exclusivelly.


If he even so much as talks to a woman in the office, he might pay severe consequences because his woman will accuse him of cheating because he "talked" about feelings.



Yeah .... how fucked up is that?

So, what about that straight man who will say that it's ok for his girl to eat another woman out?

Would his tune change if his woman loved the other girl? I bet it would.

So, even with men ... it isn't really about the sex, is it? Even with men, it's about feelings.

If a woman had sex with another male, her man would most definitely dump her ass, wouldn't he? He would never consider her feelings ever again and would think of her as a slut. She would be trash to him and deserve no respect.


However ......


If she had fallen in love with this other man, and ended up having a real, valuable relationship with this other man based on feelings (not just the fuck her original man thought it to be) .... then he would view her differently. He would grow to respect her .... because her feelings were with the other guy, not just her giving her pussy away.

i walked in on my ex kissing a tranny and hes been my ex ever since............of course its cheating......when someone lures u into a false sense of security its called cheating.....it all depends on the individual i could have walked in on him kissing a goat and id still call it cheating.....if someone hurts you to me its cheating and steps need to be taken to ensure they are annihilated and the same goes for trannys aswell

Why wouild it mean the entire relationship was a lie?

Do make a habit of asking your men if they have desires for other men?

If you have never asked him this question .. then how would you know the reality of it?

Well the problem is that some people believe homosexuality is just a sexual thing. When you hear the term, "gay" some people assume they are only gay sexually, versus being so both mentally & phsically. Gay men are not only sexually attracted to other men but they also are mentally & intellectually attracted to other men too. And with regards to relationships in GENERAL, it's always a more dangerous competition when you're competing with someone your partner is already emotionally attached to. Therefore, a gay man having sex with another man but also beign mentally attracted to him is JUST AS (if not MORE) dangerous/threatening than a straight man being mentally/sexually attracted to another woman.

Plus, there's always the stigma that a man cheating on his girl for another man isn't that big of a deal..Problem is, it is! Cheating is cheating. Gender has nothing to do with it. Attraction is the same (shallow or not) with all species, male & female. Sure, it's easier for a woman to compete with another woman than it is for her to compete with a completely different kind of species. BUT, if a man is as mentally gay that he is physically, a woman would face the same threat to her relationship. If anything the threat would be worse BECAUSE Of the simple fact that she'll never be able to offer her man what another man could.

With women, we can see our man's mistress & yet find ways to compete with/imitate her. Women can lose weight, start smelling better, start wearing prettier dresses & shorter skirts. BUT, if your man's mistress is a man, how on earth can you compare to him? Men have what women don't, therefore it's almost impossible to offer some men the same as another man can. After all, that is why we chose our sexuality the way we can. Some women swear up & down that only a man can give them the kind of pleasure they seek, while others believe that investing in a dildo & making their voice more masculine will do the trick. Problem is, for some people it does the trick; for others, they'd rather have something more natural; less artificial.

What is it about cheating that you're avoiding? Are you avoiding the part where your partner steps out on you? Or are you avoiding having to compete with someone that offers alot of the same things you offer? It all depends on what you'd consider the most threatening to your relationship. Personally, I fear my man being emotionally attached to ANYONE other than me in that way, male or female.

What makes cheating so bad is when someone makes the conscious choice to enter a commitment, but yet when problems arise, they go OUTSIDE Of their relationship/commitment for answers/solutions. THAT is why I hate cheating. Whether he steps outside of our relationship & lies to me/betrays me for a woman/man doesn't matter. It's the betraying & effort it takes to break the trust that hurts moreso than the person they're hurting me for.

True, some men are bisexual so their sexual appetite swings both ways, towards men AND women. BUT, whose to say that your man is only emotionally attached to one gender? Isn't the emotional attachement that comes along with cheating what makes cheating so devestating?! The fact that someone who has a mental hold on your partner has the potential to take them away from you & go ride off into the sunset with them, leaving you behind high & dry? Isn't THAT the part that's the most scary!? I'd hate that whether my partner ruined our relationship with another woman or a man.

As a woman, I can compete with another woman. I am a woman so it's easier for me to understand the dynamics of why/how women are. But how could I compete with a man? I can't shave all my hair off, grow a penis or naturally possessive that masculinity that gay men ultimately seek (which is WHY they are gay in the 1st place). Therefore, you'd have a lesser chance of getting back the man who cheated on you with someone you CAN'T compete with (a man) moreso than you would with just another girl from around the block.

@Bella..you said it perfectly. There are often MORE & deeper underlying issues that play into why people cheat. People are so shallow in thinking it's just about sex & that's it, when in fact those who cheat often say the opposite. Sure, sex or lackof might be the crutch for which people justify why they strayed, BUT there is usually some underlying issue beneath the surface that 1 or both people fear facing. If a relationship is going perfectly well & yet the ONLY thing lacking/missing is sex, then the chance of cheating is alot slimmer than it would be had a couple been lacking a sex life ALONG with 5 other major things!

The problem is communication. There are often deeper reasons why a woman/man would stop giving up the "goods" in the relationship. And who knows, those reasons sometimes have nothing to do with their partners, but moreso themselves & whatever inner struggles/demons they're experiencing. Either way, I think it's an insult the friendship/relationship if the automatic "fix" or response to certain lacks is to go get fulfillment from a person OUTSIDE of the relationship. After all, if the reason I'm not having sex with my man is b/c I'm too tired, the answer to that problem isn't to go screw some random chick. No, it's communication. Me & my man could have a sit down & agree to change things w/in our schedules & routines so that sex wouldn't be the last on the priorities list. That way, we not only kept faithful to eachother, BUT we also just scored brownie points on the "communication" score board. It sucks but people nowadays don't like doing the work or putting in the effort to get the BOTTOM of the real issues.

Sex is just an outlet; it's rarely ever the solution to any problem. And that's why cheating often leaves couples more broken up & torn than they originally wore when there was just problems. You can't go OUTSIDE of your relationship to fix the problems IN your relationship. And even cheaters know this, that's why they rarely leave their loved ones for the other person; it's b/c their TRUE unfinished business is still unfinished & they trick themselves into believing that 20 minutes of sex with another person magically provides an answer/solution to their problems or whatever it is they feel they lack. It's all an illusion. But by the time people realize this, they've lost, disrespected AND betrayed everyone around them, including the person they cheated with. It's not worth it.

If the relationship sucks THAT bad, leave!

Truff. Straight up.

Betrayal of what?

IMO - I do not want to be cheated on period. I dont give darn who the person is cheating with, male or female. I view cheating as both an emotional and physical betrayl.

However, I must admit that it would make it much easier for me to walk away and NEVER look back if the man cheats on me with another man. That is just too much! If a person is bisexual or gay they should let their partner know. Hello?!?! I think that would be just a bit too much for me. Also, I think that I would feel that I could NEVER satisfy the man the way he needs to be satisfied and who wants to be in a relationship where you know you are not fully satisfyiong your partner. I couldnt live like that.