Guards up

Anyone ever go into a relationship with your guard down? If so, why do you think it was? Was that normal for you ? How did it turn out?

Lol no scheming at all. I have just always normally kept my guard up. I, for once, don't and it feels natural. Not sure if it is just the timing, maybe self growth, or if the person has anything to do with it.

Was just curious about others, that's all.

Trust issues for sure though....I haven't dealt with guys that were compatible with me, or I with them. Alot of hurt and bad choices on both ends. Tis life though....

The struggle, I am not talking about me, I am trying to find out about others, hence the questions being focused on other people's experiences 😉 .

I am not in a relationship at this point, just dating. I just don't normally go in without my body armor and weapons, even in dating.

Posted by thestruggle
What is your sun and moon?

If you aren't compatible with other person, it will have something to do with it.

my guard is always up around certain signs

I have only been serious about virgos and they were all messed up and on both ends. I definitely did stuff I shouldn't have and said things I shouldn't have and vice versa.

Sun leo, moon aries, venus virgo

Posted by beautifuldiaster

Posted by thestruggle
why would you go into a relationship with your guard up?

are you scheming something? or do you have trust issues

Lol. Does it have to be one or the other?

I have reservations when I meet someone I instantly like and they show interest.


The only time I didn't was when I didn't like the guy. He was persistent. I finally go to a party.
Became friends, turned into lovers= 7 years.


Not saying its a trust issue, for me, its about control over myself. My emotions come in waves, crashing into my logic until it drowns. The tide has to receed for me to think clearly again.



I do need to change this. If I can't give myself fully how can I receive someone's love completely? I can't, there is a blockage. A barrier goes up. It's like a dark spot in the closet collecting dust and it eventually decays. I must learn to let the light touch all the darkest corners of my heart despite my fear.

#journalenteriesFTW

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I bet building the friendship first is what helped with the lasting relationship. It makes sense about wanting or needing to maintain control over your emotions. I know I have a hard time with being completely honest and allowing myself to be vulnerable.

Posted by beautifuldiaster
Oh.

When other people have their guard up I feel safer. Screwed right? I am more open and willing to go deeper in hopes they let it down. I respect it even. Shows they have something sacred and precious to give, IMO.

Someone wide open scares me. Where are the constraints? Self discipline? Are they not wanting a deeper connection? FRIENDZONE. All that hits me.

I assume i need a mystery in a relationship.

What are your thoughts on it?

I imagine you'll say having your guard up causes the other person to mirror that behavior and become untrusting but every time it seems to be the opposite for me.

Honestly, I can repeat being open and also guarded. But, I would have to agree that I like a little bit of a challenge with getting to know someone. I think it is that degree of thr person finally feeling safe with you. Wouldn't being open possible mean you are willing to go deeper?

Posted by cheekyfaerie
It's the times I left my armor at home that I was most successful.

How comfortable were you with doing it? Are you more prone to have it down now?

Posted by thestruggle

Posted by beautifuldiaster

Posted by christinelovessnickers
The struggle, I am not talking about me, I am trying to find out about others, hence the questions being focused on other people's experiences 😉 .

I am not in a relationship at this point, just dating. I just don't normally go in without my body armor and weapons, even in dating.

Glad you're letting your guard down !! 🙂

Strip it off!! I think it relates to maturity too.

Saggy girl, she said she keeps it ON, not off.

I don't understand why someone would have their guard up in relationship. Boyfriend or girlfriend.

In dating, sure, put that shield up. But in a relationship, i would be suspiscious.

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How quickly does yours come off?

Posted by beautifuldiaster
In a committed relationship there should be no guard up. I'm a believer in that.

(Ugh my communication/understanding today sucks balls)

But it takes TIME. Consistency over time to get there.

Well, we can look at it from both...relationships or dating

You said no time limit, but what would you consider too long?

Posted by thestruggle

Posted by christinelovessnickers

Posted by thestruggle

Posted by beautifuldiaster

Posted by christinelovessnickers
The struggle, I am not talking about me, I am trying to find out about others, hence the questions being focused on other people's experiences 😉 .

I am not in a relationship at this point, just dating. I just don't normally go in without my body armor and weapons, even in dating.

Glad you're letting your guard down !! 🙂

Strip it off!! I think it relates to maturity too.

Saggy girl, she said she keeps it ON, not off.

I don't understand why someone would have their guard up in relationship. Boyfriend or girlfriend.

In dating, sure, put that shield up. But in a relationship, i would be suspiscious.

How quickly does yours come off?

There is no set time; there has to be a mutual attraction.

I will then open up more and see how it goes. If it's not reciprocated, i close back up.

If it's taking too long with little to no progress, i give up.

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Funny thing is it may feel like no progress to you, but maybe the other feels progress. Interesting to think of how many times we may have stepped away from a situation where progress was being made, just not completely evident.

Posted by cheekyfaerie

Posted by christinelovessnickers

Posted by cheekyfaerie
It's the times I left my armor at home that I was most successful.

How comfortable were you with doing it? Are you more prone to have it down now?

Now you've got me thinking about it, I think it's reactionary. Like maybe the armor's always there, but it's only activated by certain people? My Virgo and I have known each other in passing for years so, when we actually started talking, it seemed the most natural thing in the world. Meanwhile, I seriously dated a Taurus for 6mths and there was always a barrier there. No idea what makes the difference, but I know which feels more comfy. 🙂

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Do you think you had the barrier? The taurus? Or both?

Starting to sense that the statement friendships first make better relationships might be true lol

Posted by tiziani
I'm always much more at peace outside of a relationship than in one, so very unlikely I've ever trusted someone to that extent. Not too fussed about it though.

That's been my experience, but I would love for that to change.

I am a betting lady lol. I just don't normally play my hand...if it is even worth playing depends on the person and my perception of them, I guess.

Haha I guess I am ready. Just not sure why or if it is the right person for it. I am starting g to thank possibly no...

Posted by cheekyfaerie

Posted by christinelovessnickers

Posted by cheekyfaerie
It's the times I left my armor at home that I was most successful.

How comfortable were you with doing it? Are you more prone to have it down now?

Now you've got me thinking about it, I think it's reactionary. Like maybe the armor's always there, but it's only activated by certain people? My Virgo and I have known each other in passing for years so, when we actually started talking, it seemed the most natural thing in the world. Meanwhile, I seriously dated a Taurus for 6mths and there was always a barrier there. No idea what makes the difference, but I know which feels more comfy. 🙂

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taurus men have barriers?? that's interesting.

i think it depends on their placements honestly. what's your taurus's placements? venus, mars, moon.

Posted by cheekyfaerie

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by cheekyfaerie

Posted by christinelovessnickers

Posted by cheekyfaerie
It's the times I left my armor at home that I was most successful.

How comfortable were you with doing it? Are you more prone to have it down now?

Now you've got me thinking about it, I think it's reactionary. Like maybe the armor's always there, but it's only activated by certain people? My Virgo and I have known each other in passing for years so, when we actually started talking, it seemed the most natural thing in the world. Meanwhile, I seriously dated a Taurus for 6mths and there was always a barrier there. No idea what makes the difference, but I know which feels more comfy. 🙂

taurus men have barriers?? that's interesting.

i think it depends on their placements honestly. what's your taurus's placements? venus, mars, moon.

He liked me, but ultimately didn't want a relationship. Fake it till ya make it didn't work.

Moon in Sag, Taurus Venus and Leo Mars.

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oh thanks. wow his fire heavy parts blew away his taurus venus.
taurus venus men take things super slow from what i have read. (never attracted them in real life)

http://www.vegaattractions.com/astrology/venussign/taurus.html
People with Venus in Taurus tend to excel at long, romantic
and wooing courtships. They like to take things slow and
build up trust. When Venus is in Taurus, one of its natural
signs, feelings of love and affection are easily and
frequently demonstrated. On occasion, a person with
Venus in Taurus takes their innate possessiveness too far
and treats their partners in a caveman like fashion. They
can also be quite bossy. Men with Venus in Taurus tend to
appreciate curvy women and can often insist that their
partners play more traditional roles in the home. Venus in
Taurus enjoys long relationships as they provide them with
emotional security and loyalty. They don’t like anything
wishy washy and should probably avoid relationships with
people who have the Sun or Venus in mutable signs.
Venus in Taurus people enjoy sensual things especially
food and clothing and they tend to reflect this when
physically involved. They often have great voices that they
use to devastating effect. Venus in Taurus can form
attachments to doing things a certain way; they often have
favorite restaurants, movie theaters, etc. and wouldn’t
consider going anywhere else. They can be very unw

Lucky me i get the aries venus taurus men in the past. lol

oh wow it says to avoid relationships with women with sun or venus in MUTABLE signs. wtf—

@Cheeky, you have an aqua venus. He might have been sensing your virgo mutable mars instead and went no way or something.

that leo mars and sag moon got confused. *smh*