Had to share this wtfery

Last night at work, I had a couple celebrating the guy finishing school. The girlfriend added that they were also celebrating their one month anniversary. She said she knew it sounded dumb, but she was just SOO glad she found him because she had been single for so long and thought she'd be single forever. Insert more rambling about how long she'd been single, etc, etc. I don't remember all the specifics.

While I could understand her excitement over a new relationship, all the added info had me thinking, "...wooow." It seemed a little exuberant for just a month in. He didn't seem too phased, physically, anyway, but whatever. At some other point during dinner, he said or did something and she immediately follows up with "see?? We were meant to be together!!" And added a few more remarks about their relationship or whatever.

At this point I wondered if this guy was gonna head for the hills sometime soon. That behavior would freak out a lot of guys and it just surprised me she was just going nuts with comments like this.

That said, I also couldn't help but feel bad for her because of how she went off on being single, and omg she finally found someone, blah blah. Our society is so freaking ridiculous that we raise women thinking that they HAVE to be in a relationship. Their life will not be happy nor will they be considered successful if they aren't paired up as soon as they reach adulthood.

I talked to another, older coworker about it (she has several adult children), and she told me she knew way too many people with this thinking and felt the parents were also partly to blame as they instilled this mindset into their daughters.

Why do you think such an outdated mindset is still so rampant? Why are there still so many women out there promoting this crap when it's just detrimental? When I've talked to some women who are on the "OMG SINGLE IS EVIL" bandwagon, their responses and logic are so brainwashed and full of dipshittery and I find it so sad. They strike me as very insecure, dependent on others for happiness, etc.









Also, a small side note- he was super indecisive about what he wanted to order, yet he wanted to go all out with a full bottle of wine. I couldn't help but think he was a Libra and she was Leo. I almost teased him about his indecisiveness being Libran, since she was teasing him too, just to see if I was right, but I didn't.

Posted by Rabbit
Maybe she was genuinely happy?

Posted by rockyroadicecream

While I could understand her excitement over a new relationship...

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Excitement and happiness aside, the comments about being single for so long and omg she had a boyfriend screamed desperation, which was my point. It'd have been one thing had she left it at "we're celebrating our 1 month, too!" Yay cool.

But then she started rambling about the rest and it was a bit much, tbh. ...which is why I brought up the topic. Which makes me wonder why you glazed over all the obvious and focused on "dur maybe she was really happy?"

Do you think it's okay or healthy for a woman to focus her happiness on finding a man?

It really depends on how the 2 pull it off. If the chick actually takes it seriously or is just enjoying/having fun/laughing at herself.

I did that before with the Aries. We were at a restaurant and we got champagne on the house because I was like "It's our one month anniversary, it's important for us!". All starry eyed and batshit crazy looking. He was laughing like crazy also.

The rant about being single would've caught my attention though but if I was the guy, I'd now see her wanting me to live up to huge expectations (we were meant to be together).

If she had a fire moon, all bets are off 😄. We are notorious for this kind of shit.

Posted by cheekyfaerie

Posted by rockyroadicecream

At this point I wondered if this guy was gonna head for the hills sometime soon. That behavior would freak out a lot of guys and it just surprised me she was just going nuts with comments like this.

Guys? Me. I(!) woulda been crawling outta the bathroom window.

Dunno where you are, but I was born in the American South. Still very much a "you're not a whole woman till you're married with kids" kinda place. Took a long time to grow outta that mindset.

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Right? Even I kinda wanted to back away slowly and not come back. I can appreciate the enthusiasm since we've all been there, but damn. It's like that's cool, but tone it down or you're gonna scare him off. :/

I lived in the South for awhile, too. That's the thing- get married and have kids. Life goals ftw!!

I live in Cali now, but I still see a lot of people hell bent on relationships. I have noticed these same individuals are very insecure with themselves and cannot handle being alone relationship wise.

And don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with wanting to be in a relationship, but I find it a sad place to think being single is a bad thing and to focus your life goal on finding someone. Relationships are supplement to your life, not a necessity. It happens when it happens. In the meantime, live life until that happens.

Posted by Damnata

The rant about being single would've caught my attention though but if I was the guy, I'd now see her wanting me to live up to huge expectations (we were meant to be together).

That's exactly where I started to feel a little wtf about what she was telling me, haha. I went from 🙂 ...... o.O

Posted by Damnata
If she had a fire moon, all bets are off 😄. We are notorious for this kind of shit.

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Who knows. The vibe I got was he was very mellow and laid back and she was all exuberant and straightforward.

Struck me as air/water and a fire sign, haha.

Posted by rockyroadicecream
He didn't seem too phased, physically, anyway, but whatever. At some other point during dinner, he said or did something and she immediately follows up with "see?? We were meant to be together!!" And added a few more remarks about their relationship or whatever.

Yeah....that's gonna be an issue down the road.

😆 @ the wthfery. I was thinking the same thing as I read the OP.

Posted by Rabbit
Some people honestly and legitimately fall in love.

It may not be the way YOU fall in love, but it's no less valid.

Your age is showing and you're clearly missing the point.

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by rockyroadicecream
He didn't seem too phased, physically, anyway, but whatever. At some other point during dinner, he said or did something and she immediately follows up with "see?? We were meant to be together!!" And added a few more remarks about their relationship or whatever.

Yeah....that's gonna be an issue down the road.

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Now you're telling me? WE WERE MEANT TO BE PHOENIX. NOW WHAT?

Posted by Rabbit
Well golly gee...relationships must have been so much different back in the golden days of the 1990's!

SMH

I really am saddened by the cynicism and apathy of the generation after me.

I'm saddened that you don't see the small problem in that she thinks that being single is a bad thing and finding a boyfriend will bring her happiness. It was one thing when she was just happy and celebrating, but when she went into her singledom with negativity is what made me pause.

ANYONE who thinks another individual will solve their happiness issues has things to resolve. You need happiness within yourself in order to be truly happy. Expecting someone else to fill that void is just ridiculous.

And it's ridiculous that you don't seem to see that.

Which brings me back to my main question- why does society push this idea? Single = bad and relationships omg the end all be all goal in life!!!1one

Posted by Damnata

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by rockyroadicecream
He didn't seem too phased, physically, anyway, but whatever. At some other point during dinner, he said or did something and she immediately follows up with "see?? We were meant to be together!!" And added a few more remarks about their relationship or whatever.

Yeah....that's gonna be an issue down the road.

Now you're telling me? WE WERE MEANT TO BE PHOENIX. NOW WHAT?

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Virgo, I'm already with the person I am destined to be with. He just doesn't know it yet and I have to figure out how to get a chain wrapped around his wrist and ankles.

😛...as you pointed out, it isn't a fair expectation to place on him or the relationship. I find thoughts like the one she expressed can lead a person to hang onto a relationship that is well passed its expiry because the person has their "but...😭 we were meant to be together" blinders on. Never a good thing. It also seems to be the motto of stalkers. Just sayin'.

I know but see..if you're meant to be together..you can be together in spirit but not in body. Which would help people dettach when the *life altering connection* had run its course.

People get stuck on the "together" part, I get stuck on the "we were meant to be"..for a brief/long/who knows moment in time.

Aren't we all meant to be..on dxp at least? lol

Posted by tiziani

Posted by Damnata
I know but see..if you're meant to be together..you can be together in spirit but not in body. Which would help people dettach when the *life altering connection* had run its course.

People get stuck on the "together" part, I get stuck on the "we were meant to be"..for a brief/long/who knows moment in time.

Aren't we all meant to be..on dxp at least? lol

Scorpios aren't trying to hear that mutable talk D lol

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They are water before they are fixed. I think they can grasp the idea but not the execution lol 😄

Posted by Damnata
I know but see..if you're meant to be together..you can be together in spirit but not in body. Which would help people dettach when the *life altering connection* had run its course.

People get stuck on the "together" part, I get stuck on the "we were meant to be"..for a brief/long/who knows moment in time.

Aren't we all meant to be..on dxp at least? lol

The rest is chatty nonsense, but you may have something there with the highlighted bit Virgo. *ponders*

#VirgoBrainBigTurnon

It just stems from how I approach life Phoenix. I've had a million connections with people, lived a million love stories in my mind.

The only thing that lingers for me is the nice moments we shared. If I would've extended those or tried to force them or control them, the connection would be lost.

Ideally this type of connection and growth would last for a lifetime.

Posted by backtokemet
this "I could no longer stand being single" talk is a smokescreen .. he's been laying the pipe like a plumber .. she's hooked

#mercuryinscorpiotalk

bahahah

you remind me much of oldskoolflavor..if you're not his reincarnation that is.

Posted by TwirlingStrawberry

Posted by Damnata
bahahah

you remind me much of oldskoolflavor..if you're not his reincarnation that is.

YES!

It's HIM!

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YAY I KNEW IT!

or NOT -.-

Posted by backtokemet

Posted by Damnata

Posted by backtokemet
this "I could no longer stand being single" talk is a smokescreen .. he's been laying the pipe like a plumber .. she's hooked

#mercuryinscorpiotalk

well it has sthg to do with sex or death .. I don't want to be pessimistic

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as a french speaker you ought to know sex = la petite mort.. therefore, you were pessimistic also 😄

Posted by Damnata
bahahah

you remind me much of oldskoolflavor..if you're not his reincarnation that is.

You are one smart woman. You're catching on 😉

I am still waiting for KOL to come back at some point. 😄

Posted by aquarius09

Posted by Damnata
bahahah

you remind me much of oldskoolflavor..if you're not his reincarnation that is.

You are one smart woman. You're catching on 😉

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Not sure about smart but stalkery? Hell yeah lol.

Posted by Damnata
I am still waiting for KOL to come back at some point. 😄

Gawd no.

Posted by rockyroadicecream

Posted by Damnata
I am still waiting for KOL to come back at some point. 😄

Gawd no.

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ahahahahaha

Posted by size zero superhero

Most likely, there's a myriad of contributing factors extending beyond upbringing & societal values.

Similarly I've known a number of guys(Scorpio/Sag moon friend is the first to come to mind)who subscribe to the belief that as long as they're single, they're a loser. Obtaining relationships is the only antidote to failure in their minds. Worse yet, these men may look down on chronically-single male friends and project their self-consciousness onto them.

This "forever alone"-paranoia appears to be a misguided means to narrow down perceived inadequacies to ONE aspect of existence; attributing overall unhappiness to singlehood. Rather than aiming for self-betterment, they instead grow infatuated with relationship status.

As for women afflicted with this one-track-mind-syndrome; many are searching for a "quick-fix", focusing on relationships as a medium to help achieve the desired life style /status-upgrade.

Others I've known, who prioritized marriage/relationships & were determined to get on it as young as possible & at any cost, had dysfunctional family lives. Their subsequent marriage & home life is to serve as a "corrective experience" for the childhood/parents they always wanted but never had.

Unfortunately, some will also tolerate severe mistreatment from their SOs; just to be able to say "look everyone, I did it!"...meanwhile, the relationship is a disaster behind closed doors.

Yeeeah, it's a bit disturbing the extent some go to for the status. They ruin their lives, their kids' lives, the S.O.'s life, etc.

It just goes back into the whole idea of dating- the pool is highly polluted with people who just do not belong there. They treat dating as a band aid to some internal problems that should be sorted out before seeking a relationship.

Well, that's just unattractive.

From a spectator's point of view.