How Do You Free Yourself From Someone

How do you get someone who made a huge impact on you, out of your head, so that you can move on?
You liked someone, it wasnt recipricated, is it hard to stand back and watch that person move on with someone else when you are still sure YOU are the one for them, what if theyve severed all contact with you for your own sake, you tell yourself youve also moved on but still at the back of your mind, they are "There" eating away at you, what could have been, what might have been and so on blah blah blah

Interesting :-)

And "NO" its not me!!
I have a housemate who is seemingly obsessed with a guy, theyve had no contact for over a year, yet still, he goes on and on and on about him!
They only met 3times "ffs" On a serious note im starting to think that this "Obsession" is gonna destroy him, while hes thinking about the other guy, hes ignoring potential new opportunities. But he is sad, i can see it, i dont know what to do!!!!
Nothing i say or do seems to lift him out of it
He should be out there, having fun, not staying home every night wondering if theyll 'Ever meet again"
I met the guy once, thought he was a Slimebag, but each to his own!
On a serious note, it does hurt me to see someone i care about , hurting himself like this. The other guy has obviously moved on, why cant my housemate??

And "NO" its not me!!
I have a housemate who is seemingly obsessed with a guy, theyve had no contact for over a year, yet still, he goes on and on and on about him!
They only met 3times "ffs" On a serious note im starting to think that this "Obsession" is gonna destroy him, while hes thinking about the other guy, hes ignoring potential new opportunities. But he is sad, i can see it, i dont know what to do!!!!
Nothing i say or do seems to lift him out of it
He should be out there, having fun, not staying home every night wondering if theyll 'Ever meet again"
I met the guy once, thought he was a Slimebag, but each to his own!
On a serious note, it does hurt me to see someone i care about , hurting himself like this. The other guy has obviously moved on, why cant my housemate??

It's interesting...

What's his sign? Maybe that can help with it...you can research heartbreak for the sign, etc...but generally, we tend to be obsessed with what we can't have - i mean that's why we live, right? to want for something or the other...i think

Dont know what happened there LOL

He's a Capricorn (like me) but im on the Sag/Cap Cusp
his birthday on on Dec 28th
Im off out tonight with friends, he says he'll come , but i know he wont. Theres another thing:
He met that guy on a dating site and he still keeps looking at the guys profile, thats not healthy is it?

It's really weird - I've seen the obsession thing with like 3 Caps now. If you're close, it's hard to ignore.

From experience, I think it's something they have to realise for themselves as they are a very proud and cardinal sign. Nothing you can do can change it, just support and try to inject as much distraction as possible for him. I'm currently going through a Cap hit rock bottom and we're going on an intervention shortly but we're still looking for the best way to approach it or further drive them away. Hope yours gets better...

''He met that guy on a dating site and he still keeps looking at the guys profile, thats not healthy is it?''

It sounds harmless enough - but again for him to recognise.

We went out last night, and he made an excuse not to come.
How can someone be so obsessed with another person??

yea how can you be so gaa gaa over a person that doesnt want you? I agree...thats personal

Thanks for that Bijou :-)
I dont know what else to do other than what im doing.
H'es a long time mate of mine and i care about him, ive never seen him like this.
Im so tempted to contact "that guy" and tell him a few things !!
but i believe its my mate that is doing it to himself, from what i know, the other guy wasnt sneaky about it, he was upfront and honest!
its my mate that's having the problem accepting it.
I suppose time will be the healer.

Hey dogs - how's he doing these days?

u dont get to buy a shotgun in ur city? 😛

I agree with bijou and archer.

The most effective way to get a person to "hear" you when they are in error, comes in two forms only ... one is in opposition to get their feathers up, and the other is in validating them.

A person can only acknowledge what they have experienced for themselves, so telling a person what they "should" do will fall on deaf ears.

You have one of those two choices, if you want him to hear you ... then I would suggest option number two in the form of group therapy, as bijou suggested. Let him witness, for himself, how others have learned to cope with rejection. Sometimes, just feeling like you're not alone in a plight is enough to wake up.

With option #1, you'd have to be really good at manipulation using positive/negative subliminal suggestions to drive your point, and unless you are good at reverse psychology, I wouldn't suggest you try it.

Another thing you need to consider here .. is that what is viewed by you as stagnation, may not be so for the other person. People have different avenues in which they find personal growth, and it's very possible that this obssession is what he needs right now, eventhough it may appear as harmful from your perspective. In which case, this group therapy of friends in a casual setting may flush this out into the open ... if he responds to the group, you may find that it's within this obssessive fantasy where he is gathering his strength to overcome what he needs vs. wants.

That may sound crazy to you .. but, I can attest to it for myself.

Sometimes .. a person has to be completely shattered before they are able to realize they need mending.

Good Luck and I hope you find the tool you need to help him .. he sounds like a dear friend to you and your concern for his well-being is admirable. 🙂

i've been there... not a happy place to be but mine was a 6 year relationship and he cheated. but for the longest time i couldnt think of anything else. it consumed every inch of me. just let this person vent and share their feelings. dont bad mouth the other person but give your friend positive thoughts about himself and the future. try to make him laugh as much as possible... it gets better each day, really it does even if he may not see it now. what sign is your friend and his moon sign cause it plays a big part. i'm aries with cancer moon so the cancer part has me more emotionally unstable than your typical aries.

Hey Guys, thanks for all the great advice.
Much appreciated.
I managed to "Talk" to him one on one a couple of evenings ago!
It all came out!!!
I believe he's hit Rockbottom
Ive persuaded him (begrudgingly) to come with me to see a friend of mine who is a Trained Councillor next week.
We'll See !!!

I cut them off completely. No networking sites, no calls made or received, no seeing you or speaking for ANY reason at all.

Posted by dogsbody
How do you get someone who made a huge impact on you, out of your head, so that you can move on?
You liked someone, it wasnt recipricated, is it hard to stand back and watch that person move on with someone else when you are still sure YOU are the one for them, what if theyve severed all contact with you for your own sake, you tell yourself youve also moved on but still at the back of your mind, they are "There" eating away at you, what could have been, what might have been and so on blah blah blah

Interesting :-)

oh yeah, i've been there with someone. it took me a good couple of years to really let go completely and i've never had that problem with anyone... and i've had to let go of close friends and family before. if there's a such thing as a soul mate, or whatever, then he was it for me. it was so difficult because it felt like i was trying to detach from a part of myself. not that i wasn't whole before him but i felt so entangled and enmeshed with his being that it was like an addition to me.

anyway, i still managed. in my experience, the only thing that worked, was the passage of time. the more i "tried" to let him go the more i ended up focusing on him and our situation. it didn't help. i took what i learned from our relationship and used it as a tool to create new headway in my own life. i stopped trying to forget him and began to embrace him and what we had.

sometimes it helps to sever all contact in order to move on. my guy was with, and is still with i believe, another girl. u know what? it's ok. more than anything i want for our happiness and i realize it is up to us as individuals to make our own. we can't rely on others for it. stop trying to hold on and just let go.