i believe i was insensitive

i really didn't mean to be. i lost my ability to be tactful in the midst of excited chatter.

i am good friends with this guy. we have made out a couple of times over the summer but nothing like that has happened since due to conflicting time schedules. i started my music biz thing and was dating. he re-enrolled in college and got a new job. we've kept in regular contact and only get to see each other about every 10 days it seems. it's usually in a public place too.

well, we have neither seen nor communicated at all for the past 2 weeks. he finally saw me on IM today so we naturally started talking. we had a lot of catching up to do. i listened to him first but not much was going on on his end. a lot has happened to me though so i began spinning my tales. the last one i spun was regarding my taurus guy and how he asked to make it official. of course i went into explicit detail about it because i was so excited. when i was done and had sent it there was a looong pause on his end. there was a brief disconnection but he did come back online. his response was,"can't say that i'm surprised." before i could get another word in he said he had to go. he then asked me if i was going to a mutual friend's party tonight but i declined. then he immediately signed off.

i think i may have unintentionally hurt his feelings. i always thought that he may have had a thing for me but i figured it wasn't anything serious. just maybe a lustiness is all. i've told him about other guys before and he's told me about... one girl. he's a cancer so he's awfully sideways in his movements which unfortunately can be easily overlooked by my leo self. if he felt anything deeper he hid it well or was just too subtle and indirect for me to notice. yeah, i can be oblivious if anyone takes genuine interest in me unless it's blatantly obvious.

Posted by WinterBorn

Posted by ninjamu
when i was done and had sent it there was a looong pause on his end. there was a brief disconnection but he did come back online. his response was,"can't say that i'm surprised." before i could get another word in he said he had to go. he then asked me if i was going to a mutual friend's party tonight but i declined. then he immediately signed off.

Maybe his internet crashed. When somebody disconnects suddenly I figure they had to go do something urgent, like take a dump or something. *shrugs*

click to expand

yeah, i considered that too. unfortunately, he just texted me about an hour ago and says that he really needs to talk to me. admits he was hurt. wants to take me out to dinner and talk over a bottle of wine. oh boy... *facepalm*

i plan on having a glass to go along with the meal. it might be mostly for him being as alcohol is the notorious "liquid courage". i'll let u know how it went in a day or 2.

Posted by ninjamu
i really didn't mean to be. i lost my ability to be tactful in the midst of excited chatter.

i am good friends with this guy. we have made out a couple of times over the summer but nothing like that has happened since due to conflicting time schedules. i started my music biz thing and was dating. he re-enrolled in college and got a new job. we've kept in regular contact and only get to see each other about every 10 days it seems. it's usually in a public place too.

well, we have neither seen nor communicated at all for the past 2 weeks. he finally saw me on IM today so we naturally started talking. we had a lot of catching up to do. i listened to him first but not much was going on on his end. a lot has happened to me though so i began spinning my tales. the last one i spun was regarding my taurus guy and how he asked to make it official. of course i went into explicit detail about it because i was so excited. when i was done and had sent it there was a looong pause on his end. there was a brief disconnection but he did come back online. his response was,"can't say that i'm surprised." before i could get another word in he said he had to go. he then asked me if i was going to a mutual friend's party tonight but i declined. then he immediately signed off.

i think i may have unintentionally hurt his feelings. i always thought that he may have had a thing for me but i figured it wasn't anything serious. just maybe a lustiness is all. i've told him about other guys before and he's told me about... one girl. he's a cancer so he's awfully sideways in his movements which unfortunately can be easily overlooked by my leo self. if he felt anything deeper he hid it well or was just too subtle and indirect for me to notice. yeah, i can be oblivious if anyone takes genuine interest in me unless it's blatantly obvious.

Hey ninj...

For what it's worth, you didn't do anything wrong. As much as we want to define all actions as black or white, when it comes to matters of the heart, its often just a deep shade of grey 😛.

He got hurt. He'll get over it and grow from the experience. Conversely, you actually being mindful of the situation says a lot about you.

update: sorry, got back to this later than i thought i would. with all the craziness of thanksgiving...

so mr. cancer took me out on what i guess he expected to be a date. he even remembered me going off about this little french restaurant i'd been wanting to try which is where he took me. he tricked me and paid the bill even though i insisted that we go dutch (i don't want to give off any impression that i want us to be a couple). he did order that bottle of wine, i had my one glass with dinner, he polished off the rest. true to form, he used it to open up more easily. he wasn't wasted or anything but he was tipsy enough to spill his guts.

he proceeded to lavish me with compliments first (maybe to soften the climactic ending?) and then followed up with his feelings. he said he had been captivated with me since the 2nd time he saw me (i was mingling with everyone else quite heavily the first day we met so we barely looked at each other) and began to fall for me almost instantly. he said he didn't try to pursue me though because of all the new changes in his life. his divorce had just been finalized, he was unemployed and looking for a new job, and he was staying at a friend's place at the time. he was too stressed out and needed to rebuild his life again.

now his life is back on track. back in school, landed a job, still living with a friend but now rents the entire bottom floor of the house to himself. he worked his ass off the past few months to get where he is today. unfortunately, he thought i'd still be available. he knew of me dating and also knew of my taurus guy. he just didn't think it would ever get serious. he was ok as long as my dating others would be casual... and easy to leave. now that he knows the depths from which my taurus is coming from he is shaken. he's really fallen for me hard.

yet with all of this he knows it still isn't the right time for us to be together. this is pretty much what he sobbed over during our "conversation". all i could do was tell him that i appreciate his honesty and respect him all the more for it. i had to basically tell him that i only want him as a friend. he even forced me to let him know where taurus stands with me. i didn't want to get into it but he was so persistent. in the end he seemed to take it ok. he did keep talking about how he wanted to give marriage another go but he would stop when i would not respond. oy!

you are going to regret your decision to throw your taurus man in cancers face...oh the bitter wrath you will be dealt when taurus man flakes out and you need cancers shoulder....enjoy the sobbing, you will never see it again

that's a little melodramatic for me, tiki. rest assure there will be no sobbing. i hold myself accountable for the mistakes i make. hell, i'm human too! anyway, cancer hasn't gone anywhere. he wants me to come out to see him tomorrow night and i'm definitely going to a show with him on sunday. our friendship is strong and i don't think this minor bump in the road is gonna set us back from seeing the bigger picture.

Well ninja is really not doing anything wrong or confusing! She is dating, she is living her life the way she should be living her life as a unmarried woman. Yes, she may have a Taurus man at home who has not offered her a ring for marriage. Yes, she may be dating a Cancer man but she can date other men. She is not married. Yes, the Cap man may want back in because he has time to sit back and understand ninja has learned how to practice the art of apathy. She is SELFISH, men love SELFISH women.

You go Ninja boo, I am not hating on you! Where do you live? I need to come kick it with you. LOL!

Posted by krobe03
Well ninja is really not doing anything wrong or confusing! She is dating, she is living her life the way she should be living her life as a unmarried woman. Yes, she may have a Taurus man at home who has not offered her a ring for marriage. Yes, she may be dating a Cancer man but she can date other men. She is not married. Yes, the Cap man may want back in because he has time to sit back and understand ninja has learned how to practice the art of apathy. She is SELFISH, men love SELFISH women.

You go Ninja boo, I am not hating on you! Where do you live? I need to come kick it with you. LOL!

LOL@You go Ninja boo, I am not hating on you! Where do you live? I need to come kick it with you.

I ain't hating on you ninja...do you

but be careful not to step toO close on cancer man's feelings, he will silently seethe with resentment and turn on you when you least expect it...as for everything else your doing, give me some tips cuz it's working LMAO!!

ah! i see this thread has taken an interesting turn! wonderful, just wonderful!

i can kinda see where the selfish remark came from. that is correct to an extent i suppose.

i may reveal much but i still keep my aces up my sleeves 😉