I know I shouldn't be upset about this.

But I can't help be feel slightly envious towards my best friend and her new relationship. She has been dating someone for a little over a month, and the fortunate thing he is everything I would want for her in a guy. She's been through a shitty run with guys, so I'm really rooting for this to stick. I've also had my very shitty run with guys, and I just recently stopped seeing someone and there is some unfinished business, too. What makes this a little harder for me is that, since the span of our friendship (which is 5 years) we have always had an "equilibrium" with our relationships. When I was seeing someone, she was too. When her relationships ended, mine did too. There was never any manipulation with this; things just always turned out this way. So, we were always gushing about a guy at the same time, and we were there for each other when we needed healing. When there were moments when it wasn't like this, like I was seeing someone and she wasn't, I wouldn't mention him much in respect to her (although, I never told her this). Anyway, this time around, we've both had pretty shitty relationship streaks until we both started seeing guys who turned out great. However, mine ended abruptly. So while I dealt with this and some other things, my best friend continued to come to me about her worries with her new boy; you know, trivial fears and just telling me about the cute things he was doing. She even once said to me, "We have what you want." I asked her what this meant, and she said, "We have the relationship you want." By this, I had explained to her some time ago what kind of relationship I wanted with a guy, and while it was just me daydreaming, she told me it wasn't as realistic as I wanted it to be. So when she told me this, I was a little hurt, but happy for her at the same time. I suppose this is all envy because she has what I want, and the "equilibrium" feels off now. She knows I will always have her back, and if he hurt her, I would be none too pleased. I just want to get this off my back somehow, even if a part of me cringes every time she mentions her. She has a right to talk about him.

It also doesn't' help that a lot of this is occurring during a hormonal point in the month, if you know what I mean. >_

very virgo

*tsk*

kudos for acknowledging it though.

Lol Thanks for the support, everyone. 🙂

This was more of a rant than anything. I've been taking a small sabbatical from the dating scene, but I guess that still doesn't stop me from wanting male attention. Oy vey, venus in leo, I swear.