It's NOT the government's business!

Ok, I get it that divorce should be the LAST resort, from a MORAL standpoint.

BUT why is it so hard to get a divorce? I can understand why we have to pay so much money & go into all the paperwork in order to get a divorce, BUT seriously why do courts/judges make it their business to decide whether or not your relationship is worthy of divorce or not?

Seriously, if I want to divorce someone (for valid reasons or not) I should be able to w/o any problems. My family/friends/my partner should be the ONLY ones trying to force/convince me to reconcile or stay in a marriage.

But why do we have annullments. What difference would it make? If I don't want to be with someone after only being married to them for 30 days, the court systems will immediately grant 1 to you regardless of your reason. But yet if I want to divorce someone after 365 days, it all of the sudden becomes a battle. It all of the sudden becomes something I have to prove.

Why do I have to prove irreconcilable differences or really ANYTHING just to get a judge to approve my decision to get a divorce? If I don't want to be with someone, shouldn't whether or not I'm forced to stay in a marriage be mine/my partner's decision!?

My 1 friend was married to her spouse for 2 years. And the MFs wouldn't grant her a divorce. The judge kept telling her that her reasons for not wanting to be married any longer weren't legal enough for her to grant her the divorce. It's like damn, maybe she just doesn't wanna be with his ass anymore! Ok, so what he didn't hit her or cheat on her. Sure, she should've probably waited longer to marry him OR perhaps not married him at all, but still, when a person wants out, why does the governmnent feel the need to dictate whether or not you can have out?

Could it be because it was a government official that declared your marriage was legal in the first place? It's like anything else. In this cases, whoever gave you the power (of legal marriage that must be honored and can be enforced) is the one who can take it away...

For all the emotional and religious overlay we put onto marriage, marriage is actually a business contract. It is about property, rights, and kids. This is why the government gets involved. This would be in my opinion one of the reasons so many people simply live together rather than actually get married. They can chose to keep the probably unwritten contract, or dissolve it at their will, no government involvement at all.

And if you think that government involvement is a problem, think about what the religious establishment of your choice thinks about marriage.

Posted by pathfinder
Could it be because it was a government official that declared your marriage was legal in the first place? It's like anything else. In this cases, whoever gave you the power (of legal marriage that must be honored and can be enforced) is the one who can take it away...

I agree & I actually don't see anything wrong with a judge granting a marriage certificate. BUT, I don't see any judges forcing people to go attend pre-marriage counseling before they agree to marry 2 people. I don't see any judges wanting each couple to prove to them why they should be allowed to get married.

When couples go for their marriage certificate, BOOM it's granted with no questions asked. But yet if a person wants to divorce their partner, they act like they deserve a hand/opinion in whether or not 2 people should be divorced.

Hey, if the court system feels entitled to getting involved with each couple's assets/property, etc. that's 1 thing, BUT to get involved with whether or not they should actually get divorced is another thing. I think that decision should be based strictly on the 2 people in the marriage.

I think the government has TOO much interference when they tell you that you don't have a good enough reason to leave somebody. THAT is none of their business & shouldn't be their call. I get taht 2 people might have issues & create drama sorting out custody issues, property & all that other good stuff, but um I think 2 grown adults are completely capable & can make their own decision about whether or not they wanna stay & the LAST thing they need is some judge looking at things from the outside in, telling them whether or not he/she believes their marriage is "worthy" of divorce.

The mere fact that I can walk into a court room with bruises on my face & yet have to hear a judge tell me that he/she WON'T grant me a divorce all b/c "they" don't believe I should leave my partner is crazy to me!

Ok ok, so what if they want to get involved with custody, property, etc. That's 1 thing

But they only get involved with that AFTER they've agreed to grant the divorce. My question is, who are THEY to tell me whether or not I can divorce someone that I no longer want to be with?!

People have started exaggerating the issues in their marriage all b/c they know that simply saying "I want out" may not be a good enough reason for a judge to grant a divorce. Hell if even ONE person no longer wants to be committed, it may suck & I may WANT (keyword) to reason/ration with them all day, BUT whether or not a couple actually stays together is on that couple, not some judge whose only version he/she has of you is on 5 pieces of typed up paper.

Posted by QuietSt0rm
I think maybe if they did the same thing with marriage, maybe people would appreciate their marriage more instead of throwing it away at the first sign of trouble. I see divorce all around me and it can be so discouraging. It makes you wonder "why did you even get married in the first place—"

My point exactly. These judges look so bored and/or out of breath once they finally do grant a divorce & have to go through the process of bitter custody/property battles but yet had they granted the divorce 5 years ago when the wife or husband originally asked for, it probably wouldn't have turned out to be as bad of a divorce!

If the government is going to have ANY say-so in the union OR breaking of marriage, it oughta be them having an opinion/say-so on 2 people getting married. Even then, the government can't really control who you love and/or do anything more than simply "recommending" pre-marriage counseling. I think it's honorable that they may "recommend" some things, but to have the final say so is crazy to me. The fact that a court decides whether or not you'll stay with someone is wrong & backwards to me

And oh yeah, there are plenty of battered women who are NOT granted a divorce. Hell, even some religious institutions frown heavily on divorce EVEN if both people have suffered inhumane conditions in the marriage. And I think that's wrong.

Just like justice can fail when a woman can be abused, call the police on her man 9 times & yet he STILL keep getting let out on bail is the same thing that happens in divorce hearings. She can go in that courtroom with 2 bruises & proof of infidelity BUT if the judge doesn't "feel" that she has a good enough reason to give up on the marriage, they won't agree to start the divorce process. See, I think that's when the government oversteps their boundaries.

Sure people may quit before they're really ready, & I understand that this gets annoying to judges, BUT it actually costs more money to the taxpayers AND the couple when couples are forced to stay together. It cost way LESS money for them to divorce after 2 weeks & get remarried than it does to be forced to stay in a marriage that, in the moment you don't see the purpose of being in.