looking for insight & suggestions PLEASE

I really need to bounce this off anyone who cares to listen & respond, Men's perspective would be especially helpful.

There's a lot of background but for the sake of keeping this short, I'll ask a couple of questions & if background is needed to provide a answer then please feel free to ask.

The 1st is most simple & I think I already have the answer but I'll throw it out anyway.....
1. Why do men feel the need to lie/down play the seriousness of a past "relationship" to not only his current girlfriend but to everyone?

2. Why would this guy bring his girlfriend to my birthday celebration AFTER being asked not to come & after lying about me to her? Wouldn't he want to keep us both as far away from each other as possible?

3. and finally I've basically kept my mouth shut & not defended myself about his lies for the sake of keeping peace & not creating drama (after all, I know the truth & that's what matters!) BUT then Why does this guy feel the need to continue to call around and ask mutual friends if they've talked to me, how I am & then continue to keep up his lies & tell even more? He's basically acting dumbfounded about our whole relationship & acting as if it never happened!

I really don't know how to handle this, Keeping my mouth shut is getting harder & harder everyday. I hate to be lied on, I hate to be made a fool of & I hate to feel that I can't defend myself SO why is he doing this & how would you handle it?

Thanks so much for your time

I'd tell him I thought he was a w@nker and for what reasons, then cut him off (for good). He sounds like an idiot...IMO a person like that doesn't deserve my friendship!

I understand it's not easy to keep your mouth shut, but the longer you allow this guy to stay in your life the harder it will get. Take the moral highground and don't bash him out to your mutual friends - that way he'll just look like more of an idiot, and you won't have lowered yourself to his level.

Thanks oddball.....LOL that sounds funny anyway, yeah, he's out of my life for as much as he can be. We have mutual friends & his sister is my bestfriend. They live together & although it's not really fair, I won't go over there anymore. Just thought that if I could maybe understand his reasoning I could deal with it a little better. Thank you for your reply

I agree with oddball ... your best option is to remain indifferent to not only him, also mutual friends who tell you about him.

In fact, everytime a friend or his sister, tells you about him asking about you, just blow them off by saying you don't give a crap and then immediately change the subject. Eventually, these friends will start blowing him off when he asks, and so when he comprehends that these friends won't participate in the drama .. he'll get a wake-up call telling him you aren't playing with his sorry butt.

It's hard because it hurts when people lie on you .... but, if you have any kind of emotional reactions to him, then he'll win in his game of fucking with your head, for a reaction is exactly what he is looking for.

Good Luck and keep your head high !!!