Love at 50

Is it possible to fall in love when life has changed you, you no longer see things as clearly and hopeful as when you are younger. I find myself cautious and overreacting to little things, flashing back to back experiences and though you may find someone very compatible, love slips away because it is too hard to let go and trust again.

I found a man who I am deeply in love with, and he loves me as well, but we keep falling into emotional traps that take so long to get out of. We question if we indepedantly could run into the same issues over and again with different partners because the fear in inside us.

Can two lonely people that love each other learn to overcome life's trauma long enough to forget the past, or could this mean we are not as compatible emotionally since we push each others' buttons even though we may be compatible in many other ways.

We've been together for a year now and we are both recovering emotionally again from a calamity of events that led me to believe something that wasn't true, but I instinctively thought the worst of the situation, it was bad enough, but not as bad as I assumed. I took it out on him, then he took it out on me and we both suffered.

In the year we've been together, it has happened five or six times, but trully, this time was the worst.

We both are clamed down and trying to decide if we should stay together or not. Just looking for some different input, thanks!

Thank you archer, it is a philosophical question now. We have both calmed down but now we are talking about taking some time to figure out if this is going to work out or not. I would share more details but I feel so rung out from all the emotion and so does he. It was something I hope never to experience again.

I'm just wanting to gather input to try to find out what is best for us.

Just truking along through life .. obstacles along the way that are easy to overcome, handle and adjust .. you have the world at your fingertips.

Twenties are just an extension of the teens .. you're still young enough to rock-n-roll.
The Dirty Thirties hit and you're like, hell yeah .. keep rocking me baby.
In your forties, your career really picks up and you find yourself better financially.
Then 50 hits .. you can't be young anylonger .. you question your mortality ..

"I'm getting old." And the fear of living for nothing strangles the will.

All those years, you were invincable .. still young enough to say, "Tomorrow is another day"

Maybe there are no more tomorrows?

Now, everything hits you 100-fold .. you don't feel as in-control, your not sure of yourself, maybe I wasted those years and now I can't get them back, if I haven't learnt by now maybe I never will .. and so the past starts to haunt you.

Things get dragged up .. old baggage that is better left in the past .. but, the past is gone and I didn't figure it out then, how can I possibly now? I was 30 then and just overlooked it .. I was 40 then and just went to work and ignored it .. now, I'm a 50 year old woman and STILL don't know where it belongs within myself ..

.. and that terrifies me. I have to bring it up NOW, while I'm 50 .. at 60, I'll be way too old to deal .. if I'm still alive.

Deenan .. you're not alone with feelings of out-of-control and being frightened.
The future is limited .. short, and you don't have the strength to cope
The past is what you still have that never got sorted

The future is uncertain and now you're not as confident to know what to do.
The past is the only thing solid to hold onto because it's our legacy.


All these things will pass .. that's what I keep telling myself .. one day, I'm going to find myself again, once my hormones level off and when they do .. I will know how to conquer again .. and so will you. You love, that's something you still have within you to do .. don't be afraid of the bad times .. they've always been there .. now isn't the time to question whether you have the strength to push forward with the past that you couldn't figure out then .. 10 years, 20 years ago.

Just keep telling yourself .. one day, I will be me again .. and I will overcome.
Keep telling yourself that there's one thing you still know how to do .. to love.

"flashing back to back experiences and though you may find someone very compatible, love slips away because it is too hard to let go and trust again"


You know what this is? It's not trust in another, Deenan .. it's trust in yourself in having the capability to conquer .. so, you keep flashing back to see if you can find somewhere where you once knew what to do.

You're love isn't slipping away .. I'll bet you love your children, ice cream and puppies just as much as you always did .. what's slipping away is your faith in yourself to be able to cope because your hormones are whacked-out.

Don't be afraid .. I know that's easier said than done .. but, this isn't a permenant situation .. and you have to keep telling yourself that, to give you something to hold onto besides terror .. one day, you'll be back .. and you'll be stronger, wiser and even more beautiful than before because you'll know you conquered the biggest obstacle that ever crossed your path.

Cheer UP and love with all your heart 🙂

In my honest opinion...Love at or after 50 stinks!
There are very few men to choose from...Most are married...or have been divorced/single for so long they don't want their little world interrupted.

FOr the most part, they are looking for a "trophy." I am not a Barbie Doll...but have been known to turn a few heads. I do believe that there is someone out there for me... I just wish he would come out of hiding.. and getting the ball rolling... heck... neither of us is getting any younger.... and I don't want to be so old that I can't remember what to do with a man when I finally get one.

I have a friend who falls in love a lot he is in his 60's now. He has been falling in love for 50 years it last about 6 months to 3 or 4 years each time sometimes he get married I think the last count o0n wives was 7 + many many shack jobs so I say yes love after 50 seems possible.

You are far from naive, Scopiogoat .. quite the contrary. I think your words are always with the intentions of bringing someone to their full potential .. you just have this amazing insight, where you can see way far down the road, where most of us are still struggling with where we're standing.

Well, I know I've learned a lot from you. 🙂