THINGS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME

APPRECATE A JOB WELL DONE
If your going to kill each other do it out side I just finnished cleaning.

Nice one Jamesey.....

One of the favourite sayings of my mother is..."Never go anywhere with your arms swinging!!!"...meaning if you are going to visit someone's house or someone in hospital or wherever they may be....always bring along a little gift, however small...it makes them feel special and you feel good:-)

A x

I like that one, how about

RELIGION
"you better pray that will come out of the carpet,"

.......Red Devil carpet stain remover for that Jamesey:-)!!! - only way to go......:-)

"Just wait till your father gets home!!!" - but moi always knew I could wrap him round my little finger.....so that really never bothered me!!😉

A x

But when the papa used to say, "Just wait till your mother gets home"...now that was a differnt story completely......moi would be shaking in my booties!!:-).....the wrath of Khan:-) and all that!!!!!

A x

"Act your age young lady!"

Huh? how am I supposed to do that when I don't know what a 15 yr. old girl is supposed to act like? Is there a book for me to read?

Ooohhhh....she really didn't care much for my response but.....age? what really is age and how does one truly "act their age?"

*I still have no clue how old/young I am* 😉 and who really cares?

^scoots off to dance in the puddles^

Lesson learned - you are only as young or old as you *think* you are.

Then I will always think "young" Freebird!!!!

A x

How about time travel

If you don't straighten up , I am going to knock you into the middle of next week.

LOGIC

Because I said so thats why!

MORE LOGIC

If you fall out of that swing and break your neck your not going to the shops with me.

FORESIGHT

make sure you wear clean under garments in case you are in an accident.

Yeah.....I never could understand that one James...if I was sick and the doctor was being called to the house, the bed linen was changed, the house hoovered top to bottom, I was dressed up in my best bib and tucker - pyjamea-wise!! - and put perched in the middle of the bed - pillows all a-fluffed!!....he'd cum in, take one minute to examine me..one minute to write out prescription..and one minute to get handed a extravagant fee!!!and he was gone in less than 5!!!! Think my mumsy must have fancied him:-)

A x

MEDICAL SCIENCE

If you don't stop crossing your eyes they are going to get stuck that way.

MEDICAL SCIENCE

If you don't stop crossing your eyes they are going to get stuck that way.

Yeah.....I guess Clarence's mom's word came thru in his case!!!

A x

To expect the worse in people.. damn... I would have loved to believe it was natural to me lol

My mother taught me to never cast my pearls to swine- not everything was meant for others to see or hear lest they become tainted- and she taught that if I were going to drink wine in the company of a man, never drink Port, always something like Merlot or Chardonnay...Port you drink in the company of God and your self...Ahhh yes the wisdom of a Pisces

irony

Keep crying and I will give you something to cry about.

"THINGS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME"

1.)?Unless you can hop on the next flight to Mars, never make a lady mad while on her ?monthly?.?
2.)?If you do not have natural common sense?ACT LIKE IT!!?
3.)?Don't cook your sister's fish!!?
4.)?Do not laugh at people w/ special disablities & needs, if you do..I'LL MAKE YOU JUST LIKE THEM!!?
5.)?If you don't wash these dishes this instant, I'm going to beat the hot yellow piss out you!!!!!?
6.)?Don't be so hard on people & things because you'll tear hell apart if satan let you!!?
7.)?Love all people from every race, creed, religion, & backgrounds.?
8.)?The BEST things in life are the ones you actually took great time on, not rushed through.?
9.)?Your dad & I will always love you.?
10.)?Because you'll only be a kid once, do not speed through your childhood.?
11.)?Don't forge my name on your field-trip sheets!?
12.)?15 years from now, not everyone will care for or remember your academic trophies, metals, certificates, awards, honors, etc?.They will remember you as you treated them.?
13.)?NEVER ABUSE A WOMEN IN ANY WAY OR I'LL ABUSE YOU IN ALL WAYS!!?

so more stuff, but i forgot them.

science of Osmosis

Shut your mouth and eat your supper.

Thanks Jamesey for starting this thread.......on buying my card for my mama for Mother's Day this Sunday, I decided to use your thread for the card...I wrote 4 silly-billy things she had taught me:-) and then 4 "real heart" things she has taught me and still is:-)......she will probably think her daughter is turning into an emotional "squashy bun"!! on reading the card, but I don't care:-)....sometimes it's good to break free of being "an emotional chicken"!!!!:-)

A x

I truly am glad it helped you in someway Christein me mum died about a year ago. I wish she were her to say things to.

She knows what's in your heart from a-distance dear James......that's for sure.

XXXXXX

Me mum tried to teach me to be a CONTORTIONEST.

Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck.

Do not try to out do me old man stay off my post.

Mine taught me about STAMINA

You'll sit there until all the spinach is gone

she tought me about WEATHER

this room looks like a twister came through,

And HYPOCRISY

If I told you once I have told you a million times don't exaggerate!

THE CIRCLE OF LIFE

I brought you into this world, I can take you out!

BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION

stop acting like your father.

ENVY

There are millions of less fortunate childern in the world who don't have wonderful parents like you.

RECEIVING
you are going to get it when you get home.

ESP

put your sweater on don't you think I know when your cold

HUMOR

When the lawnmower cuts your toes of don't come running to me

how to become an aadult

if you don't eat your Veges youll never grow up.

GENETICS

your just like your father ! yes but who was he?

ROOTS

shut the door do you think you were born in a barn

WISDOM

when you get to be my age you'll understand

my fave my mother taught me JUSTICE
one day you'll have kids and I hope they turn out just like you.

Thanks for everthing mum

sounds like a smart mum,

A bird in the hand is worth *two* in the bush........

If your book falls down under your bed...you're going to have to bend down to get it.......

It means if you want something badly enough, you'll have to try for it*

"never shit(poop) where you eat" was something my mother taught me, regarding having a relationship with someone you work with!