Men and Mixed Signals

Would like men's perspectives and cut throat, honest truths:

Men, why do you give out mixed signals?

What are ways as a woman to decipher whether you're uncertain yet, or just being a playah? (keeping in mind of course everyone's diff).

Why do you send mixed signals to women that you know are interested in you or that have openly said they like you/interested in you? Is because you are uncertain of them? Playah? Ego boost? (insert your reason)

Do you really want to be 'friends only' with women you know are interested in you, or had a previous relationship with/or date; or, generally is there a hidden reason/desire/hope even if you two aren't sleeping together, and where mixed signals may come into play.

And finally, if a woman grows tired or becomes uncertain of you due to mixed signals, and she begins to or does move on, do you:

A) respect her more for standing up for herself and possibly makes a final decision to want to pursue her more?
B) feel her out by reeling her in more but subtly start the mixed signals again?, or
C) happy because it's 'one less woman' to have to worry about, or weeded out because she didn't 'put up' with it i.e. for you: boring then, not easy enough, (insert your reason)


What gives 🙂

because deep down i know that i could not be in a relationship with you. either because of how you are, or i know it would end bad with me being hurt. but even knowing all of that, i would still have an open mind and see a relationship as a possibility. why? cuz im a fool for love. -.-

Posted by OceanDeep


And finally, if a woman grows tired or becomes uncertain of you due to mixed signals, and she begins to or does move on, do you:

A) respect her more for standing up for herself and possibly makes a final decision to want to pursue her more?
B) feel her out by reeling her in more but subtly start the mixed signals again?, or
C) happy because it's 'one less woman' to have to worry about, or weeded out because she didn't 'put up' with it i.e. for you: boring then, not easy enough, (insert your reason)


What gives 🙂

d) "aw...well, whatever, i didnt care that much in the first place."

You should know, women play these games more often than men.. 😉

If the girl in question is intrested in me then I don't really need to go the extra mile to seduce her, I know where I have her so I can afford to be a little playful. I don't however send mixed signals, I just don't come off as eager since I don't have to catch her intrest, I just need to keep it intresting.

Posted by enfant_terrible
You should know, women play these games more often than men.. 😉

TRUTH

Posted by enfant_terrible
You should know, women play these games more often than men.. 😉

Okay, trying to learn and not respond (listen rather than speak lol) .... BUT lol True enfant ^^^ Generally though if I do, and not meaning to but stepping back it would yes, be mixed signals, it would be because I wasn't sure or having interest in more than one person possibly so I'm not putting myself all in one area.

Generally though, I only date one person at a time, but it doesn't stop my mind from being on someone else though too. I can say though too that if I had mental interest in more than one person, if someone I liked started backing away I would probably pursue more...(but throwing in astrology, I am a Cancer ... which would put that into the crab dance) LOL

I do know tho that if I had no interest AT ALL I would not be showing any form of anything that would lead them to think I did. And if being cordial and nice STILL made them think that, I would eliminate them completely, and avoid. Would that be true of you both as well? Or would you still be 'playful'?

What about you enfant, like west said, if they lost interest because of mixed signals, would you just let them go? You weren't THAT into them to care one way or the other? Or would ya sit back, think, and if you were, be more direct in a new approach?

I'm not the kind of guy who would fight over a woman. If she can't choose me over the other guy then she's not worth fighting for.. 😉

Same applies to this scenario, sort of. If she looses intrest in me then I consider it done, and regret that I wasn't more straight-foward to begin with. I guess I'm lazy in that I don't feel like trying to get one step foward if she's already taken two seps back.

But in all honesty I'm the wrong person to ask, I'm not a player - I'm playful - but I don't like games! If I sense someone is intrested in me she will know pretty quickly if I have any intrest in her or not. If she is up-front about it then I will be upfront back. I'm like a mirror, if you play hard-to-get then so will I. If you open up to me, I will bare my heart to you in an instant, without a doubt.

I don't know if this answers your question but that's the best way I could put it.

because they're bastards

For me, I find that the less I care about impressing guys or caring about what happens between me and another guy, it seems the more direct signals get. Obviously....I'm not a guy, but, from my perspective, if a guy is sending mixed signals because you were forward with him or acted on what you percieved to be flirty behavior and took a step closer to them then it probably means he was either unsure of his interest in you, perhaps curious about you or that he doesn't necessarily actually want to be with you and just enjoys and is flattered by your attention so keeps sending mixed signals (consciously or subconsciously) in order to keep your attention from fully fizzling out. It feeds their ego, makes them feel attractive, irresistable, and boosts their confidence. It's fairly normal and natural to feel that way in such a situation and to want that attention to continue from their "ego booster" without directly returning the attention so that the girl won't feel like there might actually be hope for a real relationship with him.

If I were you, I'd stop looking for signals from men. Not only is it exhausting and confusing, but it's absolutely pointless. If a man is truly interested in you then you won't even have to worry about signals, he should come right up to you and ask you out, start a conversation and manipulate the conversation to their advantage, whatever they do. It's no good to be chasing after whatever bait men throw out at you.

Posted by ThePixilator
For me, I find that the less I care about impressing guys or caring about what happens between me and another guy, it seems the more direct signals get. Obviously....I'm not a guy, but, from my perspective, if a guy is sending mixed signals because you were forward with him or acted on what you percieved to be flirty behavior and took a step closer to them then it probably means he was either unsure of his interest in you, perhaps curious about you or that he doesn't necessarily actually want to be with you and just enjoys and is flattered by your attention so keeps sending mixed signals (consciously or subconsciously) in order to keep your attention from fully fizzling out. It feeds their ego, makes them feel attractive, irresistable, and boosts their confidence. It's fairly normal and natural to feel that way in such a situation and to want that attention to continue from their "ego booster" without directly returning the attention so that the girl won't feel like there might actually be hope for a real relationship with him.

If I were you, I'd stop looking for signals from men. Not only is it exhausting and confusing, but it's absolutely pointless. If a man is truly interested in you then you won't even have to worry about signals, he should come right up to you and ask you out, start a conversation and manipulate the conversation to their advantage, whatever they do. It's no good to be chasing after whatever bait men throw out at you.

Thanks for your insight. Not chasing after anything, merely a question after reading an article.

Men and women play mind games equally. To say one outdoes the other is just experience and based on your gender. You as a man say women play mind games more than men. I say men play those games more than women. It is based on personal experiences. Unless of course you really observe those things then who knows. Not saying that your opinion is wrong.


Men seem to play a game that is called " Lets see if you give me what I want and how quick" Then they figure hey if you give me cookies you will give a cake, and then you. Too easy and move on. Some just want cookies. Others don't know what they want so they are the dumb ones asking eeeeveryone for cookies. Those who play such games intentionally are Players and well toss em in the trash.

Or I love the guys who hang out with you, have fun with you (and no not bedroom fun, just normal kind) get some courage, and in a few weeks after that are in a relationship with some dumb blonde named Britney who can only use two syllable vocabulary. 🙂 No cookies for those.


Men do send a ton of mixed signals. And it is hard because you start to think there is something there, let your guard down, and BAM after you do he runs off with some other broad. Key is: Let down the electric fence but keep the wooden one halfway up. That way if he does not like the cookie ( not cookies) you can take them home and have them with warm milk 🙂

Posted by emeralddream
Men and women play mind games equally. To say one outdoes the other is just experience and based on your gender. You as a man say women play mind games more than men. I say men play those games more than women. It is based on personal experiences. Unless of course you really observe those things then who knows. Not saying that your opinion is wrong.


Men seem to play a game that is called " Lets see if you give me what I want and how quick" Then they figure hey if you give me cookies you will give a cake, and then you. Too easy and move on. Some just want cookies. Others don't know what they want so they are the dumb ones asking eeeeveryone for cookies. Those who play such games intentionally are Players and well toss em in the trash.

Or I love the guys who hang out with you, have fun with you (and no not bedroom fun, just normal kind) get some courage, and in a few weeks after that are in a relationship with some dumb blonde named Britney who can only use two syllable vocabulary. 🙂 No cookies for those.


Men do send a ton of mixed signals. And it is hard because you start to think there is something there, let your guard down, and BAM after you do he runs off with some other broad. Key is: Let down the electric fence but keep the wooden one halfway up. That way if he does not like the cookie ( not cookies) you can take them home and have them with warm milk 🙂

LoL Love it. And I agree about men vs women because I never said women don't give mixed signals. However since I am not a man, nor can crack into their heads, I wanted men's perspectives as to why they do. Men give mixed signals, maybe they just don't see it, wanna admit it, or call it something different?? You my dear I think nailed what I feel I see or have going on with some men in my life. And yeah, the Britneys are the ones who seem to make their mark and whom they all love. How do you compete with that when you're a bright, loving, smart, strong woman? Apparently you can't, so I let them allllll go have fun with "Britney" til they grow bored, and then come back wondering why I'm not around anymore LOL

Posted by cowpuncher
It's easy to tell the difference if you pay attention. A Man sacrifices immediate gratification for long term good, or for what is right. A boy does not, instant gratification comes first for him, always. How does he spend his money? How does he treat his mom? How does he react under stress, does he start yelling and throwing a fit, or does he keep his head, take the bull by the horns, and lead? How does he treat those who he has nothing to gain from... dismissively or courteously? Answer those 4 questions right and you're 99% certain to have a MAN on your hands, not a boy. They are out there... gals just don't bother seeing them much. Boys spend a lot more time out and about, and make a lot more noise so they are more noticeable and flashy. The Men are busy quietly being men, and a good one won't intentionally give you mixed signals. A patient one will also explain any mixed signals to you, if you'll just ask. we make piss poor mind readers 😉

Hope this makes some sense, but if it doesn't just remember you get what you pay for girls :p As for me, all this cowboy wants for Christmas next year is a sweet natured, honest country girl with a good head on her shoulders, capable of making some good conversation, and willing to patiently explain her thoughts to me and listen when I do so too. I won't deny that it will HELP if she has a nice big ranch, a whole bunch of cows, and buys her bras size between 34C and 42DD, but those things are just minor little details that aren't necessary... whereas honesty, intelligence, and a desire to communicate with one another clearly are absolutely necessary.

Santa screwed me again though, all I got this year was 2 lumps of coal... I shit you not folks. lol

truth truth truth truth im leaning on avoiding all females

I don't believe women (not all women but a huge majority of women) truly want the truth because I've seen time and time again when a woman is heavily invested emotionally she'll make excuses, I've seen men come in on these boards and tell the truth just like Westside did and I've seen women side step the truth in favor of something less harsh besides who really wants to admit when she is stringing herself along, who really wants to admit to themselves he's not that into me, a lot of women would much rather make up excuses than leave the guy alone for good.

I guess the real question is. Why can't women accept the truth why men give out mixed messages? And knowing that truth why do we still stick around after the fact?

Men give out mixed messages so what. The real question is why are we sticking around and allowing it to go on, we could easily drop him and move on to someone who doesn't give out mixed messages. Why are we so enveloped and invested in the drama?

Mixed messages keeps the door open for him to have his cake and eat it too, he gets to slack off on being emotionally involved, he gets sex and freedom emotionally, mentally, physically and if he's a bastard he gets your soul too.

Well Cowpucher I can not disagree with you.

Here is how I see what you wrote. Women want nice men, Rather a mentally mature women (age here does not matter) but she does not want a man who is like a puppy. I think a man who says I am not ready for sex is just fine. Maybe he does not feel totally connected, or its just not right yet. If both parties are mentally equal and appreciate the others opinions and sentiments that is a good sign. If one ( and I don't care if its a man or woman of the relationship) just doesn't get it. Drop their jive behind like a hot plate. If you are not ready you are just not ready. That does not take a IQ of 40.

Nice guys finish last. But also nice girls finish last as well. It would be better to say nice people finish last. But at least most nice people find someone for them, and don't end up with a bag full of crap in the end. 🙂

Boo for coal...what a bad santa! Hope you did not give him any cookies.


Tiki: I think women do accept the fact that men give out mixed signals. That is why we stick around to see what he is trying to tell us really. Everyone will give out some mixed signals. But also I think for some it matters why on a mental level. What is the reasoning behind it? ( I admit I never really thought about why.I just thought he is slime be ware)

Sleeze balls give out mixes to keep some booty there just in case. Everyone knows this. For others its a form of testing, for others its just a game. For the rest who the hell knows.

Why play these games is probably a better question. And because the other sex does it is a bad bad answer.

I see Emerald...Mixed messages=He's just not that into you (I say that figuratively, I don't mean you).

If we women (a huge majority of us)wouldn't even entertain the mixed messages nonsense well men would have to find another defense mechanism lol but sense so many of us love drama well yeah mixed messages are here to stay.

Men that want love, are ready for love won't send mixed messages, he just won't risk losing a good woman but men that are happily single won't just come out and say I want my freedom, I want to be single and make this an never ending dating relationship, that's too easy because the risk of losing the women, losing sex, losing the one sided relationship is high so he'll send mixed messages and because the woman spends a exorbitant amount of energy trying to figure this out well we can see why he would send mixed messages...simply put it works, it's a stalling tactic and he entail continues to BENEFIT from this tactic, while she's figuring it out he's getting whatever it is he's getting out of it.

"Why play these games is probably a better question"

POWER...Control

Posted by caligula
because they're bastards

yep

@cowpuncher....so very honest...a mans point of view very much appreciated ...Oceandeep....excellent thread....there comes a time although not often that you cross this very mans path....the one giving the mixed signals....my time now....so enjoyed the feed back from a mans pov.....=)

A man sacrifices immediate gratification for long term good, or for what is right. A boy does not, instant gratification comes first for him, always. How does he spend his money? How does he treat his mom? How does he react under stress, does he start yelling and throwing a fit, or does he keep his head, take the bull by the horns, and lead? How does he treat those who he has nothing to gain from... dismissively gor courteously? Answer those 4 questions right and you're 99% certain to have a MAN on your hands, not a boy. They are out there... gals just don't bother seeing them much. Boys spend a lot more time out and about, and make a lot more noise so they are more noticeable and flashy. The Men are busy quietly being men, and a good one won't intentionally give you mixed signals. A patient one will also explain any mixed signals to you, if you'll just ask. gratification comes first for him, always. How does he spend his money? How does he treat his mom? How does he react under stress, does he start yelling and throwing a fit, or does he keep his head, take the bull by the horns, and lead? How does he treat those who he has nothing to gain from... dismissively or courteously? Answer those 4 questions right and you're 99% certain to have a MAN on your hands, not a boy. They are out there... gals just don't bother seeing them much. Boys spend a lot more time out and about, and make a lot more noise so they are more noticeable and flashy. The Men are busy quietly being men, and a good one won't intentionally give you mixed signals. A patient one will also explain any mixed signals to you, if you'll just ask. we make piss poor mind readers..........love the honesty........

If we women (a huge majority of us)wouldn't even entertain the mixed messages nonsense well men would have to find another defense mechanism lol but sense so many of us love drama well yeah mixed messages are here to stay.

Men that want love, are ready for love won't send mixed messages, he just won't risk losing a good woman but men that are happily single won't just come out and say I want my freedom, I want to be single and make this an never ending dating relationship, that's too easy because the risk of losing the women, losing sex, losing the one sided relationship is high so he'll send mixed messages and because the woman spends a exorbitant amount of energy trying to figure this out well we can see why he would send mixed messages...simply put it works, it's a stalling tactic and he entail continues to BENEFIT from this tactic, while she's figuring it out he's getting whatever it is he's getting out of it.......so true....so very right on true...it is very sad however for the men who pkay these games and the women who give them the benefit of the doubt in hopes its not a game at all...

Posted by cowpuncher
It's easy to tell the difference if you pay attention. A Man sacrifices immediate gratification for long term good, or for what is right. A boy does not, instant gratification comes first for him, always. How does he spend his money? How does he treat his mom? How does he react under stress, does he start yelling and throwing a fit, or does he keep his head, take the bull by the horns, and lead? How does he treat those who he has nothing to gain from... dismissively or courteously? Answer those 4 questions right and you're 99% certain to have a MAN on your hands, not a boy. They are out there... gals just don't bother seeing them much. Boys spend a lot more time out and about, and make a lot more noise so they are more noticeable and flashy. The Men are busy quietly being men, and a good one won't intentionally give you mixed signals. A patient one will also explain any mixed signals to you, if you'll just ask. we make piss poor mind readers 😉

Hope this makes some sense, but if it doesn't just remember you get what you pay for girls :p As for me, all this cowboy wants for Christmas next year is a sweet natured, honest country girl with a good head on her shoulders, capable of making some good conversation, and willing to patiently explain her thoughts to me and listen when I do so too. I won't deny that it will HELP if she has a nice big ranch, a whole bunch of cows, and buys her bras size between 34C and 42DD, but those things are just minor little details that aren't necessary... whereas honesty, intelligence, and a desire to communicate with one another clearly are absolutely necessary.

Santa screwed me again though, all I got this year was 2 lumps of coal... I shit you not folks. lol

30DD, can ride and shoe. Alas no ranch😢

Posted by missscorps


If we women (a huge majority of us)wouldn't even entertain the mixed messages nonsense well men would have to find another defense mechanism lol but sense so many of us love drama well yeah mixed messages are here to stay.

Men that want love, are ready for love won't send mixed messages, he just won't risk losing a good woman but men that are happily single won't just come out and say I want my freedom, I want to be single and make this an never ending dating relationship, that's too easy because the risk of losing the women, losing sex, losing the one sided relationship is high so he'll send mixed messages and because the woman spends a exorbitant amount of energy trying to figure this out well we can see why he would send mixed messages...simply put it works, it's a stalling tactic and he entail continues to BENEFIT from this tactic, while she's figuring it out he's getting whatever it is he's getting out of it.......so true....so very right on true...it is very sad however for the men who pkay these games and the women who give them the benefit of the doubt in hopes its not a game at all...

I didn't think that guys worried about "risking" losing a good woman. I thought they just shrugged their shoulders and the next one will do.
Of course I could be totally wrong about all this - it is just my impression.
The don't seem to get hung up like chicks (ok me - it may not be all chicks) "Wow - that could have been really really awesome. Will I ever meet another guy who blows me away like that?"

Seriously how many people actually blow you away?

Not that many, I would have thought....

No.....not many and when they do....either a gift.....or a curse! Heeheehe

Men's signals are clear ..... women, it seems, tend to interpret them wrong due to her wanting the man to give her signals she looks for. So, every sign he gives her, she tries to read more into to because she wants to find that his signs mean he picks her to be his One.


Generally ... men are simple creatures to read. They aren't complicated and have a few basic needs.


Women on the other hand, are confused within themselves, due to not getting that they present themselves different from what they want = constantly give out mixed signals .. and since they aren't aware that it's them who gives out mixed signals, they think it's other people.

I thought your post was light hearted cowpuncher🙂


And keep away from the ferries in Tuscany.
Stay in the pub.
In vidi vici.

I have friends who manage quite cheaply there. They rent a villa. Wander down to the shop every morning and have bread and cheese for lunch, go home, get pissed and crash!

They have a blast. Will let you know when they are going next. The more the merrier.



*pissed meaning plastered, not cranky (for those who no parlo my lingua)

Do NOT start me on Hannibal! He is the Man!!!!!!

I am gutted about the Rome thing. He had them on a plate.

You need to see Gallipoli and Breaker Morant.

Cowpuncher....your pic hilarious....I like it!

Why not just ask him straight up what his intentions are? That's what I've been trying. Saves you a lot of time wasted.

You can usually tell by how they respond if you want to stick with them or not. And if they're still telling you they don't want a relationship yet then you should get outta there...there's no mixed signals if you're just straight up and ask.

Omg! Then you just have not asked a cancer this question! Its when every shade of gray surfaces!

Posted by missscorps
Omg! Then you just have not asked a cancer this question! Its when every shade of gray surfaces!

Speaking as a Cancer, ^^^^ exactly.

Cowpuncher has jokes!! Ocean.......Rite! But why?

Posted by missscorps
Cowpuncher has jokes!! Ocean.......Rite! But why?

Because we never do anything directly.


Unless we are very near in losing something, or fear we are. It's an innate sense regardless. If that is the case then we go after whatever it is head on, and with much persistence. We do not stop or let go until WE decide to. Nothing or no one can make us or tell us. It's in our heart, mind and soul until we decide to let go.


I always say, if you watch a crabs characteristics and mannerisms, you will see much into the mind and actions of us Cancerians. True story 🙂

Ocean.....I get the feeling and I keep hearing about crabs loving their egos stroked...there are times id love to reach out to him on our down time and let him know im thinking about him or he has been on my mind....but refuse to just for ego stroking sake....😢.....I myself have a hard time understanding the crab because when im in love or im into someone....I want to be involved...Although I absolutely lovelove my mee time and have absolutely no intention of giving it up....I luvluv me some crab too!......The comings and goings of the crab.....I realize I do my share of pushing ......its mirroring.....its fear