Messing with an ex... why?

I got a text a little bit ago:
"Hi [my ex's name] i am [random dude I don't know] we met at [club name] last night i had a great time and wanted to see you again"

My only problem with this is that he sent it to me, not her. This means that she's out partying and when dude asks for her number she gave him mine... why? No, my number is not close to hers it wasn't just a transposed or poorly written number. It's also just two days after the first conversation I've had with her in several weeks. Very brief, nothing crazy... though she did hang up on me when she didn't like my response (this has become a pattern 🙂)

Now, I don't really care. I replied "Wrong number." and deleted the message and I'm not going to bring it up to her next time we speak or anything. I'm just curious what the purpose of it was. Have any of you done stuff like this and if so, why?

I'm pretty sure she's only using your number as a dead end number to dishonestly give to the men she's not interested in. She is so lame.

Looks like a good time for a new phone number.

Even if I change my number I am legally required to give it to her again. I have custody of our kids. That's also the reason I know there will be more conversations in the future. If I were able to cut all contact I would, it's not that easy with this one.

No, she's done that purposely hoping that person would ring and leave the message with you...

1. She aint over you and now wants to hurt you

2.she wasnt interested in him and thought it funny to give your number...kill 2 birds with 1 stone


and no I have done it but when I was being a drunk egg, I have sent a text to someone and pretended they were someone else...to let them think I was with someone else....

I dont text any guy now if I have been drinking!

The reasoning is none, save being catty. And never have done it. Once I've mentally deep sixed a situ, it's done.
I talk to my ex when it's necessary for the sake of our son, no other time. I've no need or desire to speak to him, and when I do it's for informational purposes only.

@ Elle, that's the least of her karmic debts lol.

@ Sweethearts, I'm still surprised sometimes at how stupid some of the stuff is but all it does anymore is make me shake my head and laugh.

1. She aint over you and now wants to hurt you

This doesn't make sense to me though. If you aren't over someone (i.e. you still care about them) why would you try to hurt them? I doubt that she isn't over me but still, this is just mean. And yeah, the 'no drunk texting' sounds like a good rule for everyone 😛

@ VB, that's basically the only thing I still contact her about as well is our kids. I was still trying to sort out details about a vehicle that's in both our names but that hasn't gotten anywhere so I let it go.

She needs to pony up and get shit straightened around as per the vehicle and any other loose ends. It won't go away with Scooby Doo fingers. *smh* I had to set down and list everything, straight division, and am still dealing with the house. You get to a point where you just want to scream "No more", put it all behind you and get the hell on with things.

Getting over someone can take time..some it's easy others years!

Anger, sadness fear and sorrow are the motions in NO particular order.

I recall she tried getting back with you around 6 month ago and you threw her out...


Just carry on with your life and yes dont let her know you received a call.

Nice to see you back 🙂

Posted by ellessque
he still has to sit on his hands from sending a retaliatory texts.

I know this feeling haha. Sometimes the shit is just so dumb I want to yell. Take a deep breath and ignore it... Woosah!

I agree with some of the others. This was about you, not the other guy. No matter what the purpose or reasoning was, its just plain stoopid and most likely counterproductive.

Sometimes people do the dumbest things for attention because bad attention is better than none.

For some reason, she wants you to know & think that she's out getting it on with other guys. Maybe she wants you to be jealous or maybe she wants to provoke anger within you. Who knows. Either way, I find it pretty conveinant that of ALL the numbers in the world she could've given to a guy she wasn't interested in, she magically gave him yours. That was childish. She made herself look really petty & immature when she did that.

God forbid she makes it a habit of giving out your number to more guys. Smh. I'm sure you'd be furious if you started getting calls off the hook! Having to say "Wrong number" 100 times gets old & is annoying!

Or hell, maybe she was drunk or something & honestly didn't mean to give your # out. If that's the case, she 1. Needs to handle her liquor alot better AND 2. She was probably thinking about you--thus that's why your # was the 1st one that poppoed in her head =)

Posted by LibraSid
I got a text a little bit ago:
"Hi [my ex's name] i am [random dude I don't know] we met at [club name] last night i had a great time and wanted to see you again"

My only problem with this is that he sent it to me, not her. This means that she's out partying and when dude asks for her number she gave him mine... why? No, my number is not close to hers it wasn't just a transposed or poorly written number. It's also just two days after the first conversation I've had with her in several weeks. Very brief, nothing crazy... though she did hang up on me when she didn't like my response (this has become a pattern 🙂)

Now, I don't really care. I replied "Wrong number." and deleted the message and I'm not going to bring it up to her next time we speak or anything. I'm just curious what the purpose of it was. Have any of you done stuff like this and if so, why?

Me personally wouldn't say jack! I'd wait, and have that over her head just for trying to be manipulative, and let her ass stew. First off, I'd have a conversation with the dude(s), then befriend them, if I could. Then, would NEVER EVER mention it to her. Thus leaving him to talk to her about me to him. (evil, I know). Get the popcorn! I like mine with extra butter. 😛 Next time that happens, call the number back and get info. The worst that could happen is.....nothing. The best thing that could happen is to show her that you aren't the one to play those emotional mind tricks on, and show her that she couldn't handle it if the roles were reversed. But, she sounds like a nut! Why you Libra brothers always end up with whacky ass women is beyond my comprehension. I thought Gemini and Scorpio dudes were bad. Just my thoughts.

~GM

Well, I certainly hope Librasid doesnt accidently use her number on craigslist when he posts an ad for free escort services! 😉

That was mean and nasty.
you should borrow a phone and text her "Hi [my ex's name] i am [random dude I don't know] we met at [club name] last night.after I sobered up I realized you are pretty unattractive.I don't know what I was thinking."

🙂

not really,but it's a fun idea. 😉

Why would you care to call her mean?

Why would you care to even bother to be bothered about it?


Unless you still cared ... which obviously you do, for any person who didn't care, wouldn't bother to visit the emotional side of it like you do everytime to say it's mean, or that you don't understand why she would do it.


So, now it is understand by me exactly why she would do it .. because, like me, she also realizes that you still care, so perhaps she's trying to evoke something out of you to wake you up to the fact that you lie to yourself about it.

Thanks for the comments everyone and lol at Shadows and Bella.

@ GM, while I see what you're saying I don't really want to know what she's doing and have no interest in making friends with the people in her new life.

@ the comments of her trying to get back with me a few months ago... she was playing games then and clearly still is now. No worries.

Posted by P-Angel
So, now it is understand by me exactly why she would do it .. because, like me, she also realizes that you still care, so perhaps she's trying to evoke something out of you to wake you up to the fact that you lie to yourself about it.

Putting aside the argument of me lying to myself about my feelings... lol

What purpose would this serve? You're saying that I'm suppressing my feelings and just pretending... so what if that were true? It still doesn't make sense why she would want to 'wake me up'.

Also, I've noticed a lot of talk about retaliation ... it takes a lot of feelings for a person to care enough to retaliate.


Perhaps, this was not even a man at all, rather HER ... instead of entertaining any of the revenge that is being plotted by your friends here (who supposedly care).. maybe it would be in your best interest to re-evaluate your feelings for her.

... because if you indeed didn't care .. then this thread wouldn't exist because you wouldn't have even been bothered of it's existence after deleting it from your phone.

... however, you were bothered by it, enough to make a thread in honor of continuing to visit these feelings.



Most people forget that hate is a feeling .. they think that because they don't like something that it means it doesn't affect them emotionally .. here's a prime example .. in fact, people get more emotionally involved in negative than they do positive.

Take a look just in here, when people are happy/positive, they barely scratch the surface of it and spend 99% of their time being silly and superficial for the fun of being gay(LOL) .... whereas, when negative emotions are involved, they delve quit deep into it, even to the point of finding their evil thoughts.

Posted by Shadows
Well, I certainly hope Librasid doesnt accidently use her number on craigslist when he posts an ad for free escort services! 😉

Lol! atta girl


See, I'm really starting to appreciate passive aggressiveness

Sidwart,

I think you did the right thing. delete, move on, don't give her a reaction. It wasn't an accident that you received that text, it was part of a pre-thought-out plan on her end. She's desperate to have some sort of effect you. Keep withholding a response and she will eventually realize it's not working and come to you like an adult.

Divorce just sucks. You can't turn everything off like a faucet. You just get to the point where you've decided you've had just one too many spoons of shit, tyvm. Time to take back your own.

FWIW I get you. 🙂

When you said you "didn't really care," you meant you didn't care about the fact that she was going out, being single, meeting guys, etc...nor did you even really care that a guy was given your number thinking it was hers.

What annoys you is her intentions.
You don't fuck with her, so whyyyyyy does she feel the need to fuck with you? Plain & simple.

I get it. 🙂

Posted by brianafay
FWIW I get you. 🙂

When you said you "didn't really care," you meant you didn't care about the fact that she was going out, being single, meeting guys, etc...nor did you even really care that a guy was given your number thinking it was hers.

What annoys you is her intentions.
You don't fuck with her, so whyyyyyy does she feel the need to fuck with you? Plain & simple.

I get it. 🙂

Yes. Thank you. I'm living my life and leaving her alone. I don't care what she's doing so long as she leaves me out of it. This kind of stuff she's started up trying to drag me into her warped game is very frustrating.

Posted by LibraSid

Posted by brianafay
FWIW I get you. 🙂

When you said you "didn't really care," you meant you didn't care about the fact that she was going out, being single, meeting guys, etc...nor did you even really care that a guy was given your number thinking it was hers.

What annoys you is her intentions.
You don't fuck with her, so whyyyyyy does she feel the need to fuck with you? Plain & simple.

I get it. 🙂

Yes. Thank you. I'm living my life and leaving her alone. I don't care what she's doing so long as she leaves me out of it. This kind of stuff she's started up trying to drag me into her warped game is very frustrating.

click to expand

ugh. She just desperately wants your attention, she doesn't care if it's negative or positive. Just think of when a child acts out. That's all she's doing. :/ It's kind of sad when you think about it.

But once you've had a Leeb's attention, you will always miss it and want it back. (ATTENTION LADIES, haha, it's true read the boards)

Posted by P-Angel

Most people forget that hate is a feeling .. they think that because they don't like something that it means it doesn't affect them emotionally .. here's a prime example .. in fact, people get more emotionally involved in negative than they do positive.

Two things. First, I do understand that negative feelings are still feelings. Holding onto anger and bitterness is still holding on. I let go of stuff pretty quickly. Can't change the past, no use living there. Second, I don't hate her... I am largely indifferent. If she weren't trying to provoke me I wouldn't be trying to understand why. I don't wish her harm. Hell, I don't think much about her at all anymore.

This thread isn't "in honor of continuing to visit these feelings". It is a reactionary thread to understand why someone I haven't seen in two months has popped up and is doing stupid shit again. I not secretly hoping that receiving this text means she wants me or anything. I'm not pining over an unrequited love. I viewed it as her just trying to play games with me again. That's why I said in my original post that I don't really care and I'm just curious about possible motives.

Posted by brianafay

Posted by Shadows
Well, I certainly hope Librasid doesnt accidently use her number on craigslist when he posts an ad for free escort services! 😉

Lol! atta girl


See, I'm really starting to appreciate passive aggressiveness

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Ooooooooooooh, Bri. There ain't nothing passive about my aggression! 😄 But for Librasid....maybe! 😉

Posted by LibraSid

Posted by P-Angel

Most people forget that hate is a feeling .. they think that because they don't like something that it means it doesn't affect them emotionally .. here's a prime example .. in fact, people get more emotionally involved in negative than they do positive.

Second, I don't hate her... I am largely indifferent.

click to expand

Oof...indifference. That's the kiss of death right there.

So LS, it would be my take on this that you ex was interacting with Mr. Random Dude I Don't Know, and decided she didn't think much of him. Hmmmm, what to do, what to do, why give him your number, of course. It was a nasty, bitchy, hurtful thing to do to both of you. She was taking as cold and spiteful shot at Mr. Random as she was at you.


As I say, nasty, bitchy, and hurtful, but hey, ya' gotta' give her points for efficiency.


You have done the correct thing. Delete, do not engage with Mr. Random, do not discuss with ex. You have nothing to gain, and potentially a lot to lose.

Posted by brianafay

.. move on, don't give her a reaction.

Posted by LibraSid

This thread isn't "in honor of continuing to visit these feelings". It is a reactionary thread to ...

click to expand

If you cannot understand what I am saying, then how else am I suppose to say it?

You don't have to say, "honor of continuing to visit these feelings" for it to be so ... I wasn't saying you said it .. I said it.

How are you suppose to get what I'm trying to tell you if you are automatically on a defensive?


to have a reaction is NOT moving on .. moving on - not having a reaction.

To say that it's ok to have a reaction here and not in front of her doesn't equal the non-existence of the reaction.

Just because you don't hear the tree falling .....


My point STILL is ... you care enough to visit this emotion, you care enough to honor it in a thread, now many posts long visiting the feeling. I'm not saying you are in love with her, or still love her .. I'm saying you have NOT moved on, if you care enough to react to her.

Damn ....


People in here, just like Bri (which we all know she isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer) would reiterate that you have moved on, while in the same breath talk about you having a reaction to what she's done.

If you punch a wall, or punch her face ... it's still fucking caring enough about these feelings she's created in you to even throw that punch, which ========== you have NOT moved on.


A person who doesn't care, isn't even curious, and you want to know why?

because they don't care

^^superior intelligence. LMAO





Anyways, since we're not here to argue over pointless shit or to pick apart and point out logical flaws in your statement that you "don't really care" and your implication that you're over your ex - of course you care that she's fucking with you! Who doesn't care when someone is fucking with them? You can choose not to react, which as far as I'm concerned you haven't.


🙂 carry on.

Posted by brianafay

You can choose not to react, which as far as I'm concerned you haven't.

See what I mean about the knives in the drawer, Lib?

This thread is a dedication to a reaction of it.


lol

But, that's ok .. we know, Bri ... you can't help it.

Next creepy guy that hits on me, I'm giving him YOUR number, Sid ^_~

Lol fuck off seriously.

If you read what I originally said, it was don't give HER a reaction. Which he didn't.


Here, since you're of superior intelligence but can't go back and read:

Posted by brianafay
Sidwart,

I think you did the right thing. delete, move on, don't give her a reaction. It wasn't an accident that you received that text, it was part of a pre-thought-out plan on her end. She's desperate to have some sort of effect you. Keep withholding a response and she will eventually realize it's not working and come to you like an adult.

Who cares if he brings it up in conversation on on these boards? He was thinking about it, and wanted other people's perspectives to make sure he wasn't wrong in assuming she was intentionally fucking with him.





Go check yourself into a nursing home or something. I think you're getting senile.

*double middle fingers*

P-Angel,

First, I don't mean to sound defensive. I'm not taking offense to any of this I'm just having conversation. Too bad we can't convey tone through text. I do understand what you're saying but it's only half true. I don't care what she does and don't react to her until it effects me directly. I'm not reacting because it's her, I'm reacting because it's me. I care enough about myself to look at what's going on around me no matter who is doing it. This ex is able to influence me in certain areas because we were together for so long. It is not an emotional influence it is a physical one. There are things that we have in each others names. We have kids. We bought a house. Utilities have been disconnected just because she could. Yes I care when I come home one day and the satellite was shut down because she got a wild hair up her ass. Up til now I couldn't fix these things because there are other factors involved. As the limitations are removed I break the ties but there are still a few I can't fix yet.

Posted by Nefer
Next creepy guy that hits on me, I'm giving him YOUR number, Sid ^_~

Turnabout is fair play 😛

Posted by LibraSid

Posted by Nefer
Next creepy guy that hits on me, I'm giving him YOUR number, Sid ^_~

Turnabout is fair play 😛

click to expand

:O!

But.. that would be too rude for a Libra to do.





.. but then again, I'm just off-center enough that I'd get a kick out of competing to see which of us could sic the biggest creeper on the other. Hmmm.

Posted by Nefer

Posted by LibraSid

Posted by Nefer
Next creepy guy that hits on me, I'm giving him YOUR number, Sid ^_~

Turnabout is fair play 😛

:O!

But.. that would be too rude for a Libra to do.





.. but then again, I'm just off-center enough that I'd get a kick out of competing to see which of us could sic the biggest creeper on the other. Hmmm.

click to expand

Lol text him a winky face and let him think about it, wait for the bomb to drop when the freak you recruited is texting him pictures of his cats dressed up in suits. Hahahaha

I should have just replied to this initial text with a pic of my cock... then no matter if it was a dude she gave my number to or her pretending to be someone else it would have been settled. It would have been damn funny too.

Lol 😄

When you care enough to send the very best...

ROFLMAO

Leebs are EVIL! :o

It's a good thing "evil" triggers slower, after you've had time to think... and "calm and fair" triggers way before "send cockpix for the LULZ"

But hey... I live in Podunk, USA.. there's guys around here that make the characters from Deliverance look like sweetie-pie aww-shucks country boys. And these guys might LIKE your photographic response.

Just sayin'. haha

I doubt they'd like the pic if they thought it was coming from this cute girl they'd been hitting on the night before...

it comes with a message "I'd like to see you again too, you got me excited" hahaha

Clearly you can see how much... Too fricking funny.

She's right, you know .. you obviously do want to play the game, just look in here. Just because she isn't here, doesn't mean you aren't projecting the very reaction in you she was aiming for.


Looks like she still wins .. long after you think you've left.


Maybe you will get lucky, since you are obviously enjoying this game, and you decide to participate in sending the texter a pic or something .... so that they can continue to laugh on their end at how easily she can manipulate you into reacting.


You can only hope.

HAHAHAHHA!

dude.


can you imagine for one minute, living with that?!?!

Oh man.