My ex sent me a card

So my ex broke up with me in early October saying she was just exhausted from all the arguing. She tried to get back with me a week later and I told her no. I admit I messed up and sent her a lot of messages the next and the days that followed after I rejected her. A week later I told her I was struggling.

She is the first person I could see myself marrying and having kids with. Sh*t I even told her when we were dating I though about what our house would be like and what our kids would look like. All my other ex's cheated on me, but she was loyal af and I know she'd never cheat on me, but at the same time I didn't trust her.

My mom died a year ago. She sent me a card, well the entire family really, saying she knew the anniversary of my mom's death was coming up and evertyhing with the holidays she imagines that it's hard and all that other good stuff.

I don't know what to take of this. Should I say anything to her? I don't know, this means she's a really good person doesn't it?

what are you looking for here? if you dont trust anyone you'll stay alone.... just sayin...

Thank her for the card then see how it goes!

So first she broke up with you because you were arguing too much, and then wanted to get back together (obviously because she loves you), but you rejected (—). And now you want her back.

It honestly seems a bit like you don't know what you want, OR you're playing some kind of mind games on her, playing hard to get or whatever.

If you truly love her and want to have a future with her, stop with these "mind chess" games and simply be honest to her and to yourself. If you want her, go get her back.

Real long-lasting relationship/marriage requires effort on both sides and compromise.

She's loyal and faithful and that already makes her totally worth the extra effort in my opinion, because you don't find a lot of fiercely loyal and faithful people nowadays. All she asked for is less fights and arguments.

It's impossible to NEVER have fights and it's not healthy, same as with fighting too much.

Try to argue in a productive and understanding way, instead of bursting with anger and emotions or being passive-aggressive, etc. Every argument should have the goal of solving a problem and making things more enjoyable for both of you.

You should give to each other, not take away. That's a part of loving someone, when you put the other person's needs before your own. When their needs are always a priority to you.

If you truly love her, don't play hard to get and don't play mind games, chasing games, cat-and-mouse, etc. Just be honest.

If you really want her, go and get her back. It's that simple.

Posted by alexa566
So first she broke up with you because you were arguing too much, and then wanted to get back together (obviously because she loves you), but you rejected (—). And now you want her back.

It honestly seems a bit like you don't know what you want, OR you're playing some kind of mind games on her, playing hard to get or whatever.

If you truly love her and want to have a future with her, stop with these "mind chess" games and simply be honest to her and to yourself. If you want her, go get her back.

Real long-lasting relationship/marriage requires effort on both sides and compromise.

She's loyal and faithful and that already makes her totally worth the extra effort in my opinion, because you don't find a lot of fiercely loyal and faithful people nowadays. All she asked for is less fights and arguments.

It's impossible to NEVER have fights and it's not healthy, same as with fighting too much.

Try to argue in a productive and understanding way, instead of bursting with anger and emotions or being passive-aggressive, etc. Every argument should have the goal of solving a problem and making things more enjoyable for both of you.

You should give to each other, not take away. That's a part of loving someone, when you put the other person's needs before your own. When their needs are always a priority to you.

If you truly love her, don't play hard to get and don't play mind games, chasing games, cat-and-mouse, etc. Just be honest.

If you really want her, go and get her back. It's that simple.

Wait, why do you believe OP wants her back?

Posted by vanballmoos

Posted by alexa566
So first she broke up with you because you were arguing too much, and then wanted to get back together (obviously because she loves you), but you rejected (—). And now you want her back.

It honestly seems a bit like you don't know what you want, OR you're playing some kind of mind games on her, playing hard to get or whatever.

If you truly love her and want to have a future with her, stop with these "mind chess" games and simply be honest to her and to yourself. If you want her, go get her back.

Real long-lasting relationship/marriage requires effort on both sides and compromise.

She's loyal and faithful and that already makes her totally worth the extra effort in my opinion, because you don't find a lot of fiercely loyal and faithful people nowadays. All she asked for is less fights and arguments.

It's impossible to NEVER have fights and it's not healthy, same as with fighting too much.

Try to argue in a productive and understanding way, instead of bursting with anger and emotions or being passive-aggressive, etc. Every argument should have the goal of solving a problem and making things more enjoyable for both of you.

You should give to each other, not take away. That's a part of loving someone, when you put the other person's needs before your own. When their needs are always a priority to you.

If you truly love her, don't play hard to get and don't play mind games, chasing games, cat-and-mouse, etc. Just be honest.

If you really want her, go and get her back. It's that simple.

Wait, why do you believe OP wants her back?

click to expand

Well because he mentioned she's the only girl he would want to marry and have kids with, so I assumed that he loves her and wants her back.

Sounds like you let a good one go OP...

I think the first thing you should do is to be honest with yourself.

What is it that you want from life, from her and from yourself in general.

Then see how she fits into that equation.

Some people are worth making the effort for but its not necessarily the effort we have in mind. Others we think are worth making the effort for but when we check ourselves and get our own heads straight we realise those people weren't really worth the effort in the first place.

She does seem like a genuine decent person though. You just need to understand and decided what it is you want form her and how she fits into your life, have the talk, and then move forwards.