Need advice for friend who found out her husband is on online dating

Hi, trying to get advice to give to a friend more than myself. My friend went to a Latin American country, not saying which one. But guys there well known for having multiple girlfriends. Anyway, she found a guy and married, and after two year trying to get him a visa, she managed it. They’ve been living here three months I think, and now she’s found out he’s on online dating. She asked him about it and he said the relationship is failing anyway. I’m kinda gutted for her. Just don’t know what to tell her. Should I try and talk to the guy or something, I think it’s just a different culture. Where guys have as many girls and it’s never the guys fault, but I know loads of women who have done the same, got the visa and the guy has left. And I know guys from there too and they’ve never not cheated, I thought he was kind of different too but it’s almost like there was a big chance of this happening anyway. Just don’t really know how to advise her, or what to say really. It’s just such a short period of time.

It's hard to feel sorry for someone who abused her right to be stupid. It's shocking nowadays to find an immigrant who is NOT faking everything just to get an easy visa.

She has to report him to immigration for fraudulent attempt. aSAP!

Get his ass deported. Besides, it's red flag city if they divorce 3-4 months after the fact. ICE would have a field day with that douche.

https://www.ice.gov/sites/default/files/documents/Document/2016/marriageFraudBrochure.pdf

And correction- they aren't known for "having multiple girlfriends," it's more like they're chauvinistic pricks toward women down there. It's 1950 all day, errday.

Everyone else said it all. Your friend got scammed. Tell her to drop the guy and be more mindful of who she marries.

cut off his cojonas

Oh, tell her that's me. Her husband is so hot that I used him as my profile picture.

Posted by Gob_Shite
I have no sympathy for gullible women and their fixation with the 'perfect whirlwind romance'.

A long time ago, I knew a female work colleague, who was bubbly and larger than life. One day, she went to Cuba, met some guy and basically married him there and then. Everyone thought she was crazy, as she was attractive enough to snag any guy in her home country.

When he eventually moved into her house, cracks started to show in the relationship. Although she was earning more than enough money for the both of them, he made no effort to look for a job. That alone was enough to cause a strain on the relationship.

Then, without any warning, he disappeared. She came back home to find all of his belongings gone. No note, nothing. It was only then she realised why he wanted to marry her in the first place. She never heard from him again.

The last time I saw her, she was nothing but a cold shell of her former self.

This happens all the time in Europe, except that those women aren't really attractive and often between 30-50 in age. They spend their money for vacation in Africa, Southamerica or southern europe/parts of middle east, meet some gigolos and fall in love. They pay everything for them, even send them money to the guy's families and marry them later. What they don't know is that a lot of those men are alreay married with children in their home countries. Once they get their visas and a longterm residence permit they bring their families with them and divorce the "old" lady.

I once saw a documentary about 3 british women, 2 adults and a 19 year old teenager, who was one of those women's daughter. They went for vacation to Turkey in order to meet guys and both mom and daughter fell for a guy who slept with both of them. The catfight between daughter and mom was on, while the guy got presents and money from both of them. Momy even sent him money regularly when she had already returned home. lol

I think you're right, she can get the visa removed, especially since he hasn't been here that long. She said she's having a few days away to think. She said she wasn't sure why she thought he was different. I guess it's just really bad, waste of a few years. I don't know what she'll do but good idea to just have a few days by herself to think about it.

It is probably the case what all of you mentioned (the visa case)

I was just thinking: what would be a reason for his behaviour, if the thing between them was genuine?

we dont know, if she is a high-earning, if he can get a job....if she is nagging him, because of it... did she live with him for those 2 years you mentioned? in his country?

we just know, that he is from a country where people marry for visa, granted

but: what if he loved her, and now he feels lonely and inadequate, not finding a good job, no prospects, nothing what they planned.... the online dating is the sure way to boost his ego, if he feels lost in a new country without prospects and a nagging wife.... that is the only thing he knows what works well (from his country)

just thinking...

PS. I am from Europe, and as somebody mentioned, here are the older women-turkish guy - visa/money thing as well..... but there are several genuine stories (very few), were the man cant get a job, get frustrated, because the "promised land" what he hoped for is not an easy option after all...... and people can be homesick

but yes, in any case, if the spouse is online dating, it means that something is missing

I just told her I’m here if she needs anyone to talk to, because I’m not sure about their complete relationship either.

But she went on holiday and then found him and went back to see him a few times, one month at a time. She doesn’t have a lot of money, I think she needs him to get a job. I think you are right about him feeling inadequate because of that. I actually just looked up the compatibility of the star signs, she’s Gemini and he’s Capricorn. Sounds like it would be hard work even if he wasn’t from another country. Difficult to say if love is real or not, because it’s like someone picking up a winning lottery ticket, of course they love it, but maybe it’s not the kind of love that builds a good relationship.