Gemsgem
@Gemsgem
9 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 106 · Topics: 19
Online Dating - First Date Tips & Shares
*follows thread*
also adds ....how to feel safe?
how to leave the date early if your not feeling it with out being a douche
Posted by Cancan26That is most definitely my pain point as i think i will look like a douche and give it at least an hour and a half =_=
*follows thread*
also adds ....how to feel safe?
how to leave the date early if your not feeling it with out being a douche
Here's my view:
What's a good dating site for casual/serious dating - I find the convenience of Tinder and Happn work best for me, back on POF now also for a bigger chance at something serious, but i think if you send the right vibes to the universe you can find love anywhere 🙂 2 of my mates who met on tinder just bought a house together. Mazeltov!
What to wear on the date - i usually go for drinks after work so i tend to look sexy professional, always feel like i need to wedge myself in heels so carry flats with me to change after (or before lol). Cute dresses, skirts and tops with nice hair and make up. I say dress to impress but don't spend hours getting ready, it's not a prom.
Where to meet - my pet hate is when guys live in a cool suburb that they're proud of and casually invite me there after work even after i say i live on the other side of town I don't ask guys to meet me where i live so make a friggin effort to meet halfway or ask where it's convenient for me.
What activity to get into - i find drinks after work is the best first date. You don't have that much time especially on a week night as you have work tomorrow, so it's a good 1-2hrs first meet up. I do like checking out an art gallery or asking them to come play arcade games at time. Depending how cool they are. Coffee dates are a bit meh. Not enough time to get to know someone and there's too much light lol.
Who should pay for what - my honest opinion - if a guy asks a girl out he needs to buy her a drink or just contribute a little more than she did. If i was a guy and was digging a chick or feel like she was a good sport i would get her dinner, even if she wasn't just my type. If you're not willing to pay for a dinner, don't ask her out for dinner. You haven't met her yet, you don't know how she is, so don't put yourself in a situation where you have a pressure to invest more than you're willing to.
How to stay safe techniques - don't go if you feel like something is off.. Know the area you are going, how to get home, tell your friend or family member if you have to and stay alert. Know your limits. Get to the place yourself and leave by yourself. Don't tell him personal things like work and address and such.
What to do if you're not enjoying it - i frankly don't know, i just try to have a friendly convo and have a couple of drinks and can say i'm meeting a friend after or have an early morning thing tomorrow.
How long is too long - i think 1-2 hours is good for a first. If it's going really well make it 3. Tops.
Whether physical touching is appropriate - if you're both totally smitten i say kiss a little. If you're looking for serious dating don't grab and feel them up or let them do that to you 🙂
Happy dates
What's a good dating site for casual/serious dating - I find the convenience of Tinder and Happn work best for me, back on POF now also for a bigger chance at something serious, but i think if you send the right vibes to the universe you can find love anywhere 🙂 2 of my mates who met on tinder just bought a house together. Mazeltov!
What to wear on the date - i usually go for drinks after work so i tend to look sexy professional, always feel like i need to wedge myself in heels so carry flats with me to change after (or before lol). Cute dresses, skirts and tops with nice hair and make up. I say dress to impress but don't spend hours getting ready, it's not a prom.
Where to meet - my pet hate is when guys live in a cool suburb that they're proud of and casually invite me there after work even after i say i live on the other side of town I don't ask guys to meet me where i live so make a friggin effort to meet halfway or ask where it's convenient for me.
What activity to get into - i find drinks after work is the best first date. You don't have that much time especially on a week night as you have work tomorrow, so it's a good 1-2hrs first meet up. I do like checking out an art gallery or asking them to come play arcade games at time. Depending how cool they are. Coffee dates are a bit meh. Not enough time to get to know someone and there's too much light lol.
Who should pay for what - my honest opinion - if a guy asks a girl out he needs to buy her a drink or just contribute a little more than she did. If i was a guy and was digging a chick or feel like she was a good sport i would get her dinner, even if she wasn't just my type. If you're not willing to pay for a dinner, don't ask her out for dinner. You haven't met her yet, you don't know how she is, so don't put yourself in a situation where you have a pressure to invest more than you're willing to.
How to stay safe techniques - don't go if you feel like something is off.. Know the area you are going, how to get home, tell your friend or family member if you have to and stay alert. Know your limits. Get to the place yourself and leave by yourself. Don't tell him personal things like work and address and such.
What to do if you're not enjoying it - i frankly don't know, i just try to have a friendly convo and have a couple of drinks and can say i'm meeting a friend after or have an early morning thing tomorrow.
How long is too long - i think 1-2 hours is good for a first. If it's going really well make it 3. Tops.
Whether physical touching is appropriate - if you're both totally smitten i say kiss a little. If you're looking for serious dating don't grab and feel them up or let them do that to you 🙂
Happy dates
Hm I seen the same people on different online dating sites. Be careful serial daters out there. I did call someone out on their shit for that. How rude and fucked up is that where maybe you like someone on one site then go around to another site and you talking to other people in that site. Come back to the other site so I can bust you're ass. Fucking douches.
I've met sane people and no catfish years ago. I've met the Gemini, Sagittarius, and Aquarius cool peeps but eventually time took its course and life goes on due to incompatible or wanting different things.
I tried signing up couple years just to see and it looks like more catfishing and married, or fwb types.
I tried signing up couple years just to see and it looks like more catfishing and married, or fwb types.
Gemsgem, I think you answered your own questions! I think I agree with loads you've said.
1. Good dating site for casual/serious dating: I met my current fella of seven months on POF. I liked it as it's free, shows more photos, more profile write up etc.
2. What to wear on the date: sexy, smart, make an effort. No need to go overboard and casual can be too casual. It's not right for the first date where appearances are important.
3. Where to meet: somewhere public. Never go to their place and don't invite them to yours. As a female, I prefer for them to come to my town as its more convenient but if they're from quite far away them somewhere in the middle or mutual is good.
4. What activity to get into: a drink, bite to eat, not a 'coffee date' as I think that's far too casual and really isn't a date. No Netflix and chill either! The first date with my fella was the cinema to see a Tarantino film. He threw in food so it was ok!
5. Who should pay for what: if the guy asks you out for dinner then he should pay. I'd always offer to pay my part and I never order overly expensive stuff or bottles of wine. I just don't think that's fair. If drinks then he can buy first and I'd buy the second.
6. How to stay safe techniques: I always park two levels above everyone else in the car park so I avoid the 'I'll walk you to your car' or the awkward ending. It doesn't always work and I don't always get to escape! Also, drive yourself and don't get him to pick you up from your house or drop you back. I did this once, after date three, I got a guy to pick me up down the road but it was pissing own at the end of the date so I got him to stop me home against my better judgement. I didn't want to see him again and he turned into a stalker. Fucking freak!
7. What to do if you're not enjoying it: just stick it out. It's a few hours of your life. There's no need to be rude or make silly excuses.
8. How long is too long: 2 to 3 hours for a first date is more than enough (except if going to cinema!) as you don't want to over commit or offer too much so soon.
9. Is physical touching is appropriate: I don't like it when the guy is overly touchy or does that tactile thing. I can come off as cold which is tricky with dating but in reality, I'd have known this guy for an hour or so, I don't want him getting too comfy. A kiss on cheek is good or a little more if I'm particularly feeling it.
10. How to feel safe:
11. How to leave the date early if your not feeling it with out being a douche: see no8. In theory, you should have established common ground via text, emails, calls prior to meeting. That's why I'm not keen on Tinder. It doesn't foster good communication before the meet and encourages you to meet to discover 'chemistry' which isn't enough to build a relationship although it is enough if you just want casual.
2. What to wear on the date: sexy, smart, make an effort. No need to go overboard and casual can be too casual. It's not right for the first date where appearances are important.
3. Where to meet: somewhere public. Never go to their place and don't invite them to yours. As a female, I prefer for them to come to my town as its more convenient but if they're from quite far away them somewhere in the middle or mutual is good.
4. What activity to get into: a drink, bite to eat, not a 'coffee date' as I think that's far too casual and really isn't a date. No Netflix and chill either! The first date with my fella was the cinema to see a Tarantino film. He threw in food so it was ok!
5. Who should pay for what: if the guy asks you out for dinner then he should pay. I'd always offer to pay my part and I never order overly expensive stuff or bottles of wine. I just don't think that's fair. If drinks then he can buy first and I'd buy the second.
6. How to stay safe techniques: I always park two levels above everyone else in the car park so I avoid the 'I'll walk you to your car' or the awkward ending. It doesn't always work and I don't always get to escape! Also, drive yourself and don't get him to pick you up from your house or drop you back. I did this once, after date three, I got a guy to pick me up down the road but it was pissing own at the end of the date so I got him to stop me home against my better judgement. I didn't want to see him again and he turned into a stalker. Fucking freak!
7. What to do if you're not enjoying it: just stick it out. It's a few hours of your life. There's no need to be rude or make silly excuses.
8. How long is too long: 2 to 3 hours for a first date is more than enough (except if going to cinema!) as you don't want to over commit or offer too much so soon.
9. Is physical touching is appropriate: I don't like it when the guy is overly touchy or does that tactile thing. I can come off as cold which is tricky with dating but in reality, I'd have known this guy for an hour or so, I don't want him getting too comfy. A kiss on cheek is good or a little more if I'm particularly feeling it.
10. How to feel safe:
11. How to leave the date early if your not feeling it with out being a douche: see no8. In theory, you should have established common ground via text, emails, calls prior to meeting. That's why I'm not keen on Tinder. It doesn't foster good communication before the meet and encourages you to meet to discover 'chemistry' which isn't enough to build a relationship although it is enough if you just want casual.
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I'm sure we all find it a little awkward when we see someone for the first time, so please share your tips and awkward stories, so we can all relate, have a laugh or an opinion!
Share your thoughts/suggestions/preferences on:
What's a good dating site for casual/serious dating
What to wear on the date
Where to meet
What activity to get into
Who should pay for what
How to stay safe techniques
What to do if you're not enjoying it
How long is too long aaaand
Whether physical touching is appropriate!
Cheers