Reassurances

I just read an article that got me to thinking. Yeah, I know scary thought! lol!

Okay, when someone needs constant reassurance for their significant other, it always is presumed that that person is insecure and needy.

Here's the kicker the article was getting at.

If you're in an established relationship, and your partner asks for reassurances, doesn't that mean YOU'RE not doing something right? Wouldn't it indicate that YOU are neglecting your partner's needs, feelings and emotions?

The article was not directed at couples who are just in the dating stage or early stages of a relationship when everyone is insecure. This was directed at married couples and couples in long term relationships.

I thought this might be something fun to discuss.

*messed up* Trying again.

I've been guilty of this. It gave me a new perspective on the people in the past whom I thought were needy. Made me think about it and yeah, I didn't do something right. Looking back, I didn't offer the reassurance because I didn't feel it and wasn't as into them as I should have been. Thus, the "ex" status.

Then again, some people are never satisfied no matter how much you reassure them. The article was not talking about those kind of folks or that situation.

Always good to step back and see the other side.

Truecap would you like a hug?? 🙂

Yes, I want reassurance. Not becuz I'm insecure. I know I'm pretty, smart, funny. I wanna know that YOU know it! I want to hear that you've been thinking about me. That I look beautiful today. I want those happy little butterflies in my stomach and those awwhh moments. I think I am very intuitive, and I'm not shy about expressing myself. So, if I'm willing to give you that part of myself.. My honest feelings for you, then I want it in return.

Sugarfoot is the only person who "got" the point of this thread ... besides me.

This is very good food for thought, truecap, and an angle most people don't stop to consider. Myself being married for so long, have ample opportunity to put this to the test, considering at this point, we should be well adjusted and in no need of reassurances.

People, for the most part, never look at themselves as the problem, and so would likely ALWAYS believe it's the other who has an insecurity problem .... and case in point, two people who have fully developed their relationship dance might not even realize their insecurity is playing off of the other.

TRUECAP
YOU KNOW YOUR ON MY BUCKET LIST TO DO BEFORE I DIE DON'T YOU

Posted by P-Angel

Sugarfoot is the only person who "got" the point of this thread ... besides me.

This is very good food for thought, truecap, and an angle most people don't stop to consider. Myself being married for so long, have ample opportunity to put this to the test, considering at this point, we should be well adjusted and in no need of reassurances.

People, for the most part, never look at themselves as the problem, and so would likely ALWAYS believe it's the other who has an insecurity problem .... and case in point, two people who have fully developed their relationship dance might not even realize their insecurity is playing off of the other.

It's like when someone says ALL their exes are crazy, were too needy and insecure. Really— Aren't you the common denominator? Redflag! lol!

Posted by james tate
TRUECAP
YOU KNOW YOUR ON MY BUCKET LIST TO DO BEFORE I DIE DON'T YOU

Well, Mr. Tate, you'd have to leave all those sheep behind and come to Texas! 🙂

Looks like people fly right past this reality .... because the truth hurts too fucking bad for people to accept. It's much easier to continue to believe that they do nothing wrong, and it's always the fault of the other person.

It's nice to see people who grasp that they are actual participants in their relationships.

Posted by djbuck1
There is a fine line between needing reassurance and being needy. I really do think that some signs need more reassurance in personal relationships than others, and even within signs there can be gender-related differences. Example: I don't think that Pisces women need anywhere near the level of reassurance that the men do when in relationships. My opinion.

I think that its fantastic that Loveorlust can tell when her SO needs reassurance!

I had to be very careful with a Libra I was seeing, because most of the time attempts at reassurance would earn me a reproof for being "condescending." On the other hand, there is a Virgo who (because of a run of spectacularly bad outcomes in litigation) needs a lot of reassurance. She appreciates that.

Hey that's pretty good.

Some people just need it all the time, and that's fine. Some people just "get" the feeling if their lover/partner needs a snuggle and a huggle and it's on! they don't need verbal reassurance but it's something in the body movement, mood, something there, invisible, and a partner in life will just know and go snuggle attack!

TRUECAP CONSIDER THE SHEEP SOLD
DO YOU KNOW WHERE I CAN BUY A HORSE?

Why, of course I know where to buy a horse!

WANTED ONE GOOD HOURSE
NO DONKYS OR MULES NEED APPLY