Celestial_Luna
@Celestial_Luna
10 YearsCancer
Comments: 37 ยท Posts: 135 ยท Topics: 7
THE RELATIONSHIP TEASE
Sadly I endured the relationship tease for 6 years off and on (hangs head in shame) He was also a high school boyfriend and we were one another's first love. So it wasn't easy for me to understand or get and figured in time he'd change his words to match his actions. Well he's an ex now.
All of the intimacy with none of the obligation.
Just furthers my point that people don't fear commitment - they fear compromise.
Just furthers my point that people don't fear commitment - they fear compromise.
Everybody has a good point on this topic. Tiziani you're absolutely right about these self guru article are insane but some give some valid points here and there. I've noticed this type of behavior just recently and I'm just in wow that these women are actually ok with this behavior and accept it. Or even worse they have not idea what's going on. I can say now I'm glad that I don't have to worry about that or the headache that comes with it.
Posted by Celestial_LunaYUP. I learned a harsh lesson because I was unsuspecting of such behaviour by that actual person. Never EVER again!
Everybody has a good point on this topic. Tiziani you're absolutely right about these self guru article are insane but some give some valid points here and there. I've noticed this type of behavior just recently and I'm just in wow that these women are actually ok with this behavior and accept it. Or even worse they have not idea what's going on. I can say now I'm glad that I don't have to worry about that or the headache that comes with it.
Posted by AndalusiaVery well said.
All of the intimacy with none of the obligation.
Just furthers my point that people don't fear commitment - they fear compromise.
Posted by Elle77Yes it is a lesson and in your case harsh however you are more aware and now you can safe guard yourself better and that armor is more thicker.Posted by Celestial_LunaYUP. I learned a harsh lesson because I was unsuspecting of such behaviour by that actual person. Never EVER again!
Everybody has a good point on this topic. Tiziani you're absolutely right about these self guru article are insane but some give some valid points here and there. I've noticed this type of behavior just recently and I'm just in wow that these women are actually ok with this behavior and accept it. Or even worse they have not idea what's going on. I can say now I'm glad that I don't have to worry about that or the headache that comes with it.click to expand
Posted by tizianiI find that if your not looking for a relationship or you want to be single do not even bother treating someone like they are something special to you when in fact you are not. I've recently encountered a friend who is seeing apparently four women: 2 single, one long distance and one unhappily married. I believe the unhappily married is ok with this arrangement however the one long distance doesn't know what he's doing and is blind and most likely is ignoring the signs. I personally almost fell victim to his charm but woke real quick when I wouldn't lower my standards and said no despite on how I felt for him.Posted by Celestial_LunaWhat's unacceptable about this behaviour to you?
Everybody has a good point on this topic. Tiziani you're absolutely right about these self guru article are insane but some give some valid points here and there. I've noticed this type of behavior just recently and I'm just in wow that these women are actually ok with this behavior and accept it. Or even worse they have not idea what's going on. I can say now I'm glad that I don't have to worry about that or the headache that comes with it.
I was with a woman who made maximum effort in person, was always present in the moment and accountable. Just at the very beginning she was clear she was not looking for a relationship. I didn't see the problem as she was very accountable to me in general.
If someone who is all action is unacceptable does that mean we need to reevaluate "actions speak louder than words"?click to expand
If he doesn't make it loud and clear "we are together we are dating ... we are letting people see first hand we are together PDA all over the place and facebook" I'm taking your words and actions with a grain of salt ... PERIOD!!!!
Posted by GobshiteYes they do! Then people wonder why there is no more respect for one another.
Errrmmm, women pull the same shit as well...
Posted by tizianiYes ... you it hit it on the nose!!!!
Fair enough. So this is more or less an issue when they start to get intimate with other people I take it.
Posted by starwarsAre virgo's pron to this kind of behavior?
virgos already know that. ha!
that should enlighten some women in here
Posted by tizianiEh? Whatchu mean?Posted by AndalusiaSo it's going out with a dom? Is that fair to say?
All of the intimacy with none of the obligation.
Just furthers my point that people don't fear commitment - they fear compromise.click to expand
Posted by tizianiOoh, I see.Posted by AndalusiaI've spoken with women (2 in the last week come to mind) who have said they are attracted to a man who is both attentive and uncompromising.Posted by tizianiEh? Whatchu mean?Posted by AndalusiaSo it's going out with a dom? Is that fair to say?
All of the intimacy with none of the obligation.
Just furthers my point that people don't fear commitment - they fear compromise.
So I'm wondering if this is essential the dom-sub dynamic, only in an unbalanced way that becomes more like master-slave.click to expand
I'm not sure, honestly. I've never been in a dom/sub relationship, so I can't speak for what goes on in one.
It seems like there is a lot of obligation and responsibility to each other though; which is sort of the antithesis of the points the article was making. IMO at least.
Posted by GobshiteDon't forget that there are articles written by men who do that same butter being bias and making the women look all screwed up. That is why she mentioned in the beginning of her article that women do the same thing as well as well as not all men to it. ๐Posted by Celestial_LunaPosted by GobshiteYes they do! Then people wonder why there is no more respect for one another.
Errrmmm, women pull the same shit as well...
Well, maybe the jaded bitch who wrote the article, shouldn't have based it exclusively on men. It's both biased and irresponsible.click to expand
I'm possibly experiencing a relationship tease right now. However there are two things that makes me not so sure. First let he has Mars in Aquarius (getting them to commit is almost impossible and they like no strings attached, but he makes me feel like I'm his and vice versa)... Secondly though I would love a commitment one day, I'm ok with the tease for now. I foccussed so much on the commitment that I forgot to enjoy the relationship. If it ends then yes I'll be hurt but I want to say I enjoyed it rather than stressing over what may never come.
My last relationship though was definitely a relationship tease for 8 straight months! (I've told this current one about it and that I can't do relationships that are going nowhere and he is aWare of this)... When I finally asked for the commitment he said I told you I didn't want a relationship ... Lies!! I don't waste time with relationships that goes nowhere for I'm a Taurus! But he wanted the friends with benefits... To this day it makes me over analyze each potential man and might be why I don't care to get the commitment so quickly anymore. My heart can't handle dissapointment Becuase when I fall I fall hard so.... Tease on for now.
My last relationship though was definitely a relationship tease for 8 straight months! (I've told this current one about it and that I can't do relationships that are going nowhere and he is aWare of this)... When I finally asked for the commitment he said I told you I didn't want a relationship ... Lies!! I don't waste time with relationships that goes nowhere for I'm a Taurus! But he wanted the friends with benefits... To this day it makes me over analyze each potential man and might be why I don't care to get the commitment so quickly anymore. My heart can't handle dissapointment Becuase when I fall I fall hard so.... Tease on for now.
Okay, here's what I get out of it. This article says a relationship tease does things that make you think there is a future, but the things it lists seem to be going only one way and that's the way the tease wants it to go. So, perhaps some counter questions to this "list" would help determine whether it's a tease or not.
calls you often, every day even, says good morning and goodnight, shares their daily activities with you, checks in when theyโre out - this says check on you, but do they respond to your calls and texts ?
introduces you to their family and friends - are they willing to meet your family and friends?
brings you as their date to family / friend outings - are they willing to be your date to family/friends outings?
you are their go to +1 - but are they willing to be your +1?
sees you several times a week both outside and inside the house - is it on their terms when they want to or do they also meet up when you want to?
includes you in their daily activities, hobbies, fun and they do everything they can to make you a part of their life - will they include themselves in YOUR daily activities/hobbies/fun?
has sex exclusively with you and you have sleep overs often - ehhh, even casual relationships do this.
takes an especially keen interest in you and your life - to what extent? Are they there for you in the bad times? Will they go to a funeral with you?
wants to share life experiences - Is it only what they want to do or are they willing to do what you want to do?
discusses travelling together and even does travel together Is it as long as you go where they want to or are they willing to go where you want to
These I'll give the author:
shows you genuine affection
tell other people about you
call your โtheir girlโ or themselves โyour guyโ
A BFF also provides all these services....
I think the key here is they say they don't want a relationship. When someone says that, you should believe them until they tell you different.
I'm all one for actions, but the words "I don't want a relationship" should be taken to heart regardless of the actions.
calls you often, every day even, says good morning and goodnight, shares their daily activities with you, checks in when theyโre out - this says check on you, but do they respond to your calls and texts ?
introduces you to their family and friends - are they willing to meet your family and friends?
brings you as their date to family / friend outings - are they willing to be your date to family/friends outings?
you are their go to +1 - but are they willing to be your +1?
sees you several times a week both outside and inside the house - is it on their terms when they want to or do they also meet up when you want to?
includes you in their daily activities, hobbies, fun and they do everything they can to make you a part of their life - will they include themselves in YOUR daily activities/hobbies/fun?
has sex exclusively with you and you have sleep overs often - ehhh, even casual relationships do this.
takes an especially keen interest in you and your life - to what extent? Are they there for you in the bad times? Will they go to a funeral with you?
wants to share life experiences - Is it only what they want to do or are they willing to do what you want to do?
discusses travelling together and even does travel together Is it as long as you go where they want to or are they willing to go where you want to
These I'll give the author:
shows you genuine affection
tell other people about you
call your โtheir girlโ or themselves โyour guyโ
A BFF also provides all these services....
I think the key here is they say they don't want a relationship. When someone says that, you should believe them until they tell you different.
I'm all one for actions, but the words "I don't want a relationship" should be taken to heart regardless of the actions.
Except the sex,...lol! A BFF doesn't provide the sex. ๐
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