The Work Spouse

Just curious...do you have someone you consider a work spouse? Someone you have an extremely close relationship/friendship with at work and feel like you can totally be yourself around? Someone who shares support and confides in you?

I think I just found myself "married" to my boss at work. He's only been my boss for a while, but we were acquaintances for two years prior to that. I feel closer to him than any of my other co-workers. On a professional level, we're a great team. We have shared our desire to help each other reach the next level of our careers together. We collaborate very well. He seeks my opinion on many projects.

Outside of the day to day work we do, I consider him a friend (Although admittedly I do find him attractive, but we had a long talk about dating at work before and we both feel it can lead to trouble if things don't go well. We both care about our jobs too much to jeopardize things.) He texts me to chat. We tease and pick on each other to no end (in a fun way - nothing sexual or hurtful)

With all this said, I think it's safe to say he is my work spouse...Anyone else have this kind of relationship with someone they work with?

I would have to say yes to this. As a matter of fact, one of my "work spouses" was routinely accused of being my actual spouse. This was based on the way she bossed me around, and how I would actually listen to her, and do what she told me to do. No one else could/can do that, you see.

That person has since retired. We do still keep in close contact, though.

The second person is someone who I am forever chatting with, lots of lively banter, on and on.

I do find it curious that both of these people are Virgos. I really seem to have a thing about Ye Olde earth types.....

This thread is mis-titled, it should read ....... "Anyone else a Brown-noser"

Posted by dofacc

I do find it curious that both of these people are Virgos. I really seem to have a thing about Ye Olde earth types.....

Hahaha! My work husband is a Virgo! 🙂

Posted by P-Angel
This thread is mis-titled, it should read ....... "Anyone else a Brown-noser"

click to expand

Well no...it would not necessarily be a boss/subordinate relationship, it just so happens to be that way for me.

I am sure some of our co-workers do think I am brown nosing and I honestly don't care. Yes I want to please him and help him succeed but beyond that I care about him as a person. We have a lot of common interests and he's a fun and caring person.

I was in a similar situation a few years ago

A guy I'd met at work was someone that I became very close with. We worked together all day every day & since our personalities were so alike, it was only natural that we began to form a bond (platonic)

Everybody thought we had something "going on" b/c we were always together at work. Always went to lunch together, etc.

He NEVER once hit on me or gave me the impression that he was sexually attracted to me or that he had ulterior motives, which I believed is what made our friendship become so strong almost over night

The problem? Welp, he had just proposed to his girlfriend. Not to say that she was the "insecure" type but then again, she wasn't happy at all that he'd considered me such a good friend.

Almost like she doubted our friendship was valid simply b/c of how we met...As if work friendships are any less good/legit than other kinds of friendships that start in other kinds of environments

1 night he called me to tell me that he couldn't talk to me anymore. In fact, his fiance asked me if I was sleeping with him. I was shocked!

We understood how it looked on the outside, but damnit nothing was ever going on b/w us so we could only understand how it "looked" to a certain extent

When your conscious is clear & when you're having innocent fun & an innocent connection, you don't spend all your time worrying about how it looks. No, you keep on allowing the friendship to grow & only HOPE that the other partners involved are supportive of the friendship vs. assumimg something is going on behind closed doors

Point is, now I've learned to keep people I work with at a certain level of distance. There's nothing wrong with being friends with work associates, but there's always the chance that the friendship won't remain persay that person's partner gets jealous OR if neither of you any longer work there.

I think it's perfectly healthy to establish work friendships. It makes the day go by smoother & you'd be surprised at how many long-term friendships 1st started through the workplace.

Just better hope that person doesn't have an insecure partner or else the friendship you have with your work associate could cause problems both with their relationship & in the workplace