Things are changing

And by this, I mean some of the things I wasn't attracted to in people before are becoming attractive to me now.

For example, in terms of physical characteristics, I'm suddenly more attracted to blondes. They used to NOT do it for me in any sense, but after dating a couple, I'm now more receptive to blondes (blondes of any type, not just the hydrogen peroxide bleached type). Also, facial hair; it used to be a hit or miss thing with me, but I'm beginning to love beards and mustaches more and more.

For the non physical characteristics, they are fairly the same, but I'm beginning to grow out of the, "I want my men dark and mysterious" to, "I want my men honest, confident, fun loving, with the looks of james dean, but a heart of gold." Obviously the latter is a little too much, but I'm beginning to rely less on what I used to look and realizing I enjoy guys who are more upfront.

Those are just basic examples, but has anything for you changed when it comes to what you like about your significant others?

As I'm growing older, I'm learning to let go of shallow preferences. Whereas I used to say, "My man MUST have/be this" I'm now thinking, "It'd be NICE if my man had this or that BUT it's NOT required!" There's nothing wrong with having a preference but when it gets to the point where we are missing out on a good thing all b/c of something that really won't matter 5 years from now, that's when we can start to become shallow (and shallow is never a good thing).

I used to only like dating pretty boys. I used to only want men who were very athletic and/or who had lots of muscle. I used to dread dating a man with chest hair, even if it was just 1 strand I'd be turned off!

Now, I'm different. People treat dating like it's a way to pick/choose people out of a catalogue..they want people with a specific eye color, hair color, height, chest size, etc & all that garbage.

Nowadays, it's just about finding a person that genuienly has integrity, is honest, has goals, is emotionally/psychologically "available" & just so happens to be "decent." Does he have to be drop dead gorgeous? No, but hey as long as he's nice to look at, that's all that matters.

I'm done looking for my "Morris Chestnut." I used to HATE hearing the men who claimed they needed a "Beyonce" looking chick in order to guarantee they wouldn't cheat so I decided that on my end, I'd stop being so shallow too. People hate to admit that they're sometimes shallow but hey, if we really sit back & think of all the reasons we walked away from someone (physically) it'll all sound silly now looking back.

Plus, the more we like someone mentally/psychologicaly/intellectually, the more they'll NATURALLY appeal to us physically. The sexiest person physically can have the nastiest attitude, therefore I'd see them as being ugly. And the same goes vice versa. A person with a great heart can appear to be more attractive than they really are

I used to only date inside of my race. I saw everyone else around me doing it. BUT then it dawned on me that 1. Men don't discriminate when it comes to race so why should I? & 2. I didn't really have a valid/good reason to only date inside my race anyways. So now, I'm with the world on this: Love has NO gender or color.

The only thing that's stuck with me is the height thing. I'd STILL prefer a man who was a few inches taller than me, BUT if he's not, it's not like I'm going to run for the hills. If he makes up for it in other areas, that's fine with me =)

I used to like men with braids and/or anything other than low/clean cut style s. And I used to absolutely HATE dreads! But now, I'm starting to be more attracted to men with low/clean cut/shaved heads, dreads & hell, even the men who are completely bald. It's amazing, just 5 years ago I'd cringe if a man with dreads tried to talk to me; I'd be like ewww dude your hair looks like it has a bunch of spiders in it! But now, I've started paying more attention to how each man makes his own unique features fit him. Some people can make any style /feature work for them

I have in mind what I think to me is the perfect man...looks wise and yes I prefer darker/tanned males to blondes with fair skin....but I find it very curious that all the famous guys that I like the looks of and think ar dreamy are the total opposite to what my normal attraction is, apart from Sharmar of course!!!

Posted by sweethearts
I have in mind what I think to me is the perfect man...looks wise and yes I prefer darker/tanned males to blondes with fair skin....but I find it very curious that all the famous guys that I like the looks of and think ar dreamy are the total opposite to what my normal attraction is, apart from Sharmar of course!!!

Ha! I can relate! In real life, I'd be quick to be attracted to the Morris Chestnut/Shamar Moore type BUT when it comes to celebrities, things are a tad bit different =p It's weird...It's easier for me to find the little sexy things about a celebrity on tv/tabloids moreso than it would be easy for me to be able to see all the little perks in the average man walking down the street.

I used to be the same way regarding facial hair. I used to ONLY like clean shaven as a teen through my early 20's. Then all of a sudden in my mid-20's I realized how turned on I was by scruffiness on a man's face. Even though it's a preference, I much prefer a man to go with what looks best on him.