What causes men to go off on the deep end?

Example being, say they seem pretty decent and all that. Nice, sweet, funny, all that stuff, and they're pretty much relationship material. Then BAM, they go off on the deep end, objectifying women, sleeping around, making terrible decisions in life and romance, etc.

Two specific people I've seen this happen to come to mind and it just leaves me curious why they flipped dramatically (or any guy like this, for that matter).

Note, when these guys were decent, they were idiots in their relationships and effed things up. Wasn't until shortly after that they started behaving like this.

Are they "jaded" and just sowing their oats, unaware of being "failures" when they were decent? (On the flipside, from their view, they had terrible experiences with women and have gone off on the deep end?)

Are they just enjoying singledom?

Is some unknown issue rearing it's ugly head?

The one extreme to the other is just a bit crazy to me and I'm curious as to some reasons why this would be- not just these examples, but generally.


(also to be noted, when these guys were decent guys, they also tended to be a bit on the red flag side for the inexperienced - moving too fast, semi clingy, indecisive, etc.)

Well duh.

And that isn't an answer. It doesn't explain WHY they do what they do.

Are they just giving up a facade or is it something else. Guys do weird shit to cope.

Mommy issues??

Firstly, you don't go from shy to sleeping with girls... How the hell do you net them?

So by that analogy alone you are working with a player. I am reserved and really work at being a good man. It doesn't always work out and your prone to getting hurt. Despite wanting to just through my self to the world, I don't or can't as it isn't my nature.

I think you are referring more to a player than anything else.

You want to see a real change? Watch what happens when a girl makes a player cry 😛

I have seen similar behaviour in girls. What fascinates me is that most girls can do a 180 since I believe it is easier for them to just give in to the world and be used etc. What hurts is why these amazing girls end up with one nighters and babies... How does that shit work?

Pain changes people, but ignorance is bliss...

Posted by OmagaIII
Firstly, you don't go from shy to sleeping with girls... How the hell do you net them?

So by that analogy alone you are working with a player. I am reserved and really work at being a good man. It doesn't always work out and your prone to getting hurt. Despite wanting to just through my self to the world, I don't or can't as it isn't my nature.

I think you are referring more to a player than anything else.

You want to see a real change? Watch what happens when a girl makes a player cry 😛

I have seen similar behaviour in girls. What fascinates me is that most girls can do a 180 since I believe it is easier for them to just give in to the world and be used etc. What hurts is why these amazing girls end up with one nighters and babies... How does that shit work?

Pain changes people, but ignorance is bliss...

I guess they think that the classic "asshole" stance gets them the girls.

Just not the right ones. And it's sad that they think that getting ANY girl trumps getting THE girl.

Posted by duchessedenemours
Can't get over someone that hurt them.

This ^^^

And regretting hurting the ONE that they drove away, and not being able to reconcile that guilt.

What age group of men are you talking about. It might not matter, but it might.

Cause they die first. Jk 😛

...this isn't about my own personal bit. It's a general question over an observation of what I've seen in my own experience and others, which I thought I made clear a few times in the post.

I was curious what others thought and I already have my own opinions on the matter. I know guys are emotionally retarded and react like morons when they're hurt.

It's still a little mind blowing HOW MUCH they go off into the deep end. All over past hurts? Really? *gag*

And all the whiners who threw out "WOMEN DO IT TOO," kindly stfu. Nobody said they didn't. Nothing is more annoying when posts like this are created and the emo vag boys come in and start slinging responses like that. It's all about you, isn't it? :/

Posted by IrresistableScorp

Posted by duchessedenemours
Can't get over someone that hurt them.

And taking it out on the next people. Classic male antics. 😄

Okay women do this too. It's kind of immature.

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Some I've seen get into some really questionable relationships, too. It's like uh... are you sure you want to do that?

...whatever. *grabs the popcorn*

I knew a guy online once, we never met but became friends for a bit and talked. Obviously at first he was attracted to me but nothing eventuated but writing each other. We lived in the same town.

The point is we talked a lot about how much he was rejected by his advances to woman. He was genuinely a nice guy and not bad looking too. But his self esteem was low because of all the rejection. He travelled to Thailand and had a nose job at one stage. After he got back from that he found a book which taught guys how to treat woman on order to get them (sorry can't think of the book but I'm sure there are plenty out there) he read it religiously and put it into practice. He became mean to woman, treating them badly. Asking them out and then treating them with little respect, unlike the way he used to be. Funnily enough, the ladies couldn't get enough of him. All of a sudden the tables had turned and he had the choice of most any of woman he pursued. His looks change with his new found confidence but his attitude did too, the nice boy left. I have lost touch with him now, would be interesting to know if he found the one he was looking for or if he continues down that road.

Is that true? What book is it?

The Game?

Or any of Mystery's books

Usually when you tell them that you understand exactly what they are going through and they arent in the mood to listen to it or accept it then that is a sure firesign way of making any male lose it.

Hence the song My name is Luca by Suzanne Vega

I have earned my stripes you stupid Bishes!

Would you like to see the photos of so-called 'evidence'?

No matter how much you document such things there can never be anything that will ever show how it really was or is and until you have been through it yourself then you have no right nor any business sticking your nose into it. You are not welcome and never will be.

Thanking you kindly.

Mommy issues, lack of being able to communicate anger effectively, feeling love through anger, past relationship(s) that failed, not being able to admit the part they played in failure of relationships, coming from an alcoholic/drug addicted family, overbearing parent(s).....

Everyone has issues. It's how you deal with the issues that make the person. Some men are looking for the perfect woman to fulfill all of their needs with no requirements to fulfill the woman's needs. As soon as the sparkle wears off or a problem occurs, the man chooses to move on to the next shiny new thing. Commitment issues.

Posted by tiziani
This is it's never really about the type of person you attract, but the type of relationship.

That's why the Game is a bit redundant long term.

I don't understand why women want to mother men as well. Try to understand them, figure out their problems. You won't. You'll just end up with the same son as last time around, different face.

I am so guilty of trying to "fix" men I've been involved with. Realizing I was doing this was the first step, then learning to accept that they are who they are and learning to express my needs effectively.

On the other hand....some men are looking for "mother" in their relationships. It's a hard role to fill. Not my thing...LOL

Nah moreso about the type of person you attract as this one has been at me ever since I can remember, haha must be the drugs he gave me to forgot coz i dont remember much all hazy like even still after all these years.

You mean care for another? This is 'mothering' to you? caring = mothering?

The way I see it is when a person have only been understanding a male then because a person understands they then reassure that male then usually when they reassure the male they get hurt big time, hit, beat up, broken bones, split lips, kicked to almost death like stance, thrown about broken teeth, burns on body by lighters or matches playing match ups, what else is there-what ever the male imagines in his mind is what the female gets coz he has set it up that way and he is the boss whenever he is home and older bro not home so really the female has no where to go but to him for anything and virtually no escape from this male and not only that he sneaky making sure he doesnt get caught and emsures the females in the house and anyone else he deems weaker than he gets blames for this but then when something happens whilst this abuse is haapening, the female then has to pretend like it never happened and go about their day like the world is a beautiful place coz noone would believe you even if they knew. Yeh right tell that to someone who cares, yeh? As long as I know who this is really then that is a good thing

Usually when you are doing your own thing the male that has it in for you will do anything and everything to see you destroyed. A case of damned if i do and damned if I dont, I jsut am lucky I got out by going to Helland that I dont have to put up with his or anyone elses behaviour thats like this. Thats freedom to me and the good thing about it is that now I can write about it and noone would ever believe me what I write. Also even better is that the person I thought was him was someone else whos doing this they have the simular names you see and are soo different personality wise.

Very freeing

Oh yeh like i totally understand what you are going through... not likely! HAHAHA

Posted by MissLibra

Posted by tiziani
This is it's never really about the type of person you attract, but the type of relationship.

That's why the Game is a bit redundant long term.

I don't understand why women want to mother men as well. Try to understand them, figure out their problems. You won't. You'll just end up with the same son as last time around, different face.

I am so guilty of trying to "fix" men I've been involved with. Realizing I was doing this was the first step, then learning to accept that they are who they are and learning to express my needs effectively.

On the other hand....some men are looking for "mother" in their relationships. It's a hard role to fill. Not my thing...LOL

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Oh gawd, I wouldn't touch those guys with a 10 ft pole. NO idea why so many women won't take off as soon as they see those signs. That's some serious, deep seated bs that needs to be resolved.

As was mentioned in a Libra thread, there are always two extremes with guys with mommy issues- Seemingly never a middle ground. Either too much attachment or they hate their moms. Both are to be avoided, tbh.

And lol at "the game." I'm sorry, but people who refer to dating and relating as a "game" have no business dating to begin with. It's why so much of it is a trainwreck. People treat it as if it were some game. If games are involved, both individuals are immature children that should stay at home and play with their Barbies and GI Joes.

MissLibra

Usually when males (I wont call them men they are anything but men) are seeking for a female to fulfil all there needs and not fulfil the females needs, they do this so they can control the female and make out that he is the nice one and all that bullshit. And it so happens that they have perfected their 'game' of this to a tee that even an unsuspecting female wouldnt realise she in the deep til its too late, relationship with the bastard even if its LDR via interneting. He has claimed her for himself and will kill her/ have her killed if she doesnt do what he wants. Theres no need for him to be going to the next shiny thing as he has everything he needs right where he has set her and everyone else up to be. Now the only way he'll be going on to the next new shiny thing is when he kills the one he is with or she gets out somehow safely. Or they both end up killing each other coz thats how he set it up to be to fulfil his needs of total (ab)domination of a female?

So yeh what does one do when in this situation? Apart from killing yourself and killing him which would make getting the cops involved only make the female out to be the one who is at fault which it isnt at all. How does this be resolved? Sneaky Bastard that he is

Makes out what I went through before like nothing as to what I am going to be going through. Eh, *shrugs* oh well might as well be me as I seem to have a death wish and a taste for danger no who am I kidding here it is not time yet and wont be for a very long time. I's got Work to do you see.