@krysrenee7
18 Years5,000+ Posts
What is the #1 reason why.....
8,11,12,13
You spelled, "their" incorrectly.
@Elles: Oh damn ;~X Well it's not like the only way to experience love/committment is through marriage. Marriage might be the ULTIMATE commitment, BUT nowadays, people are getting their needs met just FINE w/o all the legal paperwork =)
@Amandus: LoL..Smh
Old statistics in the mid 90's said that finances were the #1 reasons for the demise of relationships (specifically marriages). Interestingly enough, it didn't matter if there was too much money or not enough money being the culprit. Those in the middle seemed to fair better than either of the other two extremes. When me and my friends were reading this, we were kind of surprised, because (of course) everyone thought it would be infidelity, but actually that was like #3, because I think #2 was their partner not getting along with their family, or something similar to that, I can't remember the full study, but I did remember that #1 was finances and #3 was infidelity. Times may have changed, but I know from my friends who are married or in relationships where they live with their SO, $ $ $ is ALWAYS a problem - above anything else.
Posted by Amandus
You spelled, "their" incorrectly.
AHAHAHAHA! A true Virgo! I swear you are so cute!
in my case, #4 will always be #1
i've been in my relationship for over 5 years now, and i don't want to be with nobody else right now, but its hard to imagine just having sex with her and her only for the rest of my life..
truthfully, i think that as long as a man is providing for his wife finacially( to an extent), emotionally, and sexually, then a woman shouldn't divorce him if he had sex (and only sex) with another woman..
you woman don't realize how tuff it is to be a successful, or even remotely successful man in this country without women wanting to give you sex..pussy is like banana peels thats scattered on the ground,sometimes we may slip up and fall on'em..thats all..why would you get mad at us because we hurt ourselves?? thats wrong
some of the greatest men in this country have cheated on their wives...micheal jordan, tiger woods, bill clinton, martin luther king, etc..its hard out here for a pim-, a man!, excuse me
Posted by ellessque
point taken.why is there a double standard for women then?
we just say no thanks. men throw themselves our way too, especially when we are married (they want no commitment).
we still just say no thanks.
like cappyluv said..womam view sex differently then us..
and to cappy..if i cheated,got caught, and then she decided to cheat on me..i would get upset if she did it ONLY for revenge..because if i cheat, i'll only do for pleasure, so i'd expect her to do it for the same reason..or some money,lol
and i wouldnt have a open relationship with my current gf becuz it just wouldn't work..but maybe with a new gf who has that type of understanding
"I mean if you can sex with another woman, why can't she have sex with another man?"
She can, if she's with the right man, just as men can if they're with the right woman.
You get with someone who wants you more than you want them, and they'll stay with you through most of the thick..including cheating.
I think some people are more into the ideal of a relationship and what it can give them really taking the time to get to know the real person. I had to end a relationship after three yrs when it hit me one day that i was in love with the ideal of love not the person!
It sounds fucked, but its true.
Most of my relationships ended because of money, specifically having different spending habits, and me growing apart/losing interest.
lol Yea.
The grass is always greener though.
Posted by DAMEN VI
and to cappy..if i cheated,got caught, and then she decided to cheat on me..i would get upset if she did it ONLY for revenge..because if i cheat, i'll only do for pleasure, so i'd expect her to do it for the same reason..or some money,loland i wouldnt have a open relationship with my current gf becuz it just wouldn't work..but maybe with a new gf who has that type of understanding
If she cheated for pleasure, like you, not revenge, you would be totally OK with it?
click to expand
Nope.
lol
Posted by CancerWomen
I think some people are more into the ideal of a relationship and what it can give them really taking the time to get to know the real person. I had to end a relationship after three yrs when it hit me one day that i was in love with the ideal of love not the person!
ding.ding.ding. Winner right here too. Yes, I believe from just listening to so many of my female friends drone on and on and one, that they are in love with the idea, and not necessarily the person. More specifically, if all of their friends are dating, getting married, having kids, then they (a lot of them) don't care what yahoo they end up with, they just NEED to attach themselves to a man - any man to make them supposedly happy and "complete." I just don't get it, but in my world, I am the exception and not the rule. *smh *
Posted by DAMEN VI
and to cappy..if i cheated,got caught, and then she decided to cheat on me..i would get upset if she did it ONLY for revenge..because if i cheat, i'll only do for pleasure, so i'd expect her to do it for the same reason..or some money,loland i wouldnt have a open relationship with my current gf becuz it just wouldn't work..but maybe with a new gf who has that type of understanding
If she cheated for pleasure, like you, not revenge, you would be totally OK with it?
click to expand
it depends,lol
if she cheated 1st, and it was strickly for pleasure, then i'd wonder is it my pipe game? or do he eat the cooch better? becuz if its the latter, then i'd understand,lol
Posted by MsPisces.
"I mean if you can sex with another woman, why can't she have sex with another man?"She can, if she's with the right man, just as men can if they're with the right woman.
You get with someone who wants you more than you want them, and they'll stay with you through most of the thick..including cheating.
My great grandmother always said, "The man should love the woman more than the woman loves the man." Right, wrong or indifferent in the numerous relationships/marriages that I know of there are only two marriages that I know of where they are relatively happy, and the man is ALL into the woman. Not that the women don't love the men, but it just seems to be far easier relationships for them, as they really don't seem to have the problems that a lot of my female friends who are all butt deep in their men do. The women whose men are totally into them don't seem to sweat the small stuff, and their men are all about them and take the time to show them everyday. Trust is also huge, because these two particular women are much like me in that they will tell a man in a minute, "Honey, if you think you can do better, go forth and prosper, cause I'll be just fine with or without you." For these men, they seem to appreciate that candidness from the women.
"becuz if its the latter, then i'd understand,lol"
lol
Yep, USC. So true.
Posted by CancerWomen
I think some people are more into the ideal of a relationship and what it can give them really taking the time to get to know the real person. I had to end a relationship after three yrs when it hit me one day that i was in love with the ideal of love not the person!ding.ding.ding. Winner right here too. Yes, I believe from just listening to so many of my female friends drone on and on and one, that they are in love with the idea, and not necessarily the person. More specifically, if all of their friends are dating, getting married, having kids, then they (a lot of them) don't care what yahoo they end up with, they just NEED to attach themselves to a man - any man to make them supposedly happy and "complete." I just don't get it, but in my world, I am the exception and not the rule. *smh *
I guess that makes me the exception too bc I also don't understand why someone would hook up with someone just to "fit in"....I need no man to validate me.
click to expand
Unfortunately this ... whatever you want to call it, has been perpetuated for many, many years. There are fairy tales about it, movies, love songs, and the like that just continue to perpetuate some mythical, "Happily ever after." I'm cynical, but if you can show it and prove it, then I'll believe it, until then - I'll just keep on keeping on being me, because I also don't believe that I need any validation. I know too many people that are in relationships (living with a SO) or married, and I can tell you that NOTHING that they tell me makes me want to get married. I've lived with someone before for about 5 years, and while it was NOT horrible, it wasn't anything to write a fairy tale about, nor a movie. Relationships take a lot of work, patience, love, understanding, compromising and a whole host of things that quite frankly I don't see too many people willing to REALLY do. There is a lot of lip service to creating a great relationship, but when it comes to execution, many people fall short - both male and females; it's shared equally.
Posted by DAMEN VI
and to cappy..if i cheated,got caught, and then she decided to cheat on me..i would get upset if she did it ONLY for revenge..because if i cheat, i'll only do for pleasure, so i'd expect her to do it for the same reason..or some money,loland i wouldnt have a open relationship with my current gf becuz it just wouldn't work..but maybe with a new gf who has that type of understanding
If she cheated for pleasure, like you, not revenge, you would be totally OK with it?
it depends,lol
if she cheated 1st, and it was strickly for pleasure, then i'd wonder is it my pipe game? or do he eat the cooch better? becuz if its the latter, then i'd understand,lol
click to expand
LMAO @ "eat the cooch better."
They have classes for this 😉 LOL, just kidding with you! It just was too funny reading that.
My first thoughts are #3,10, and 13. Though money is also a very common thing in divorce court. My first thought not listed was miscommunication.
damen, the way you speak about sex and infidelity is quite repulsive. falling on a banana peel? if i ever heard my boyfriend talking like that about sleeping with another woman, you better believe i would be gone in a heartbeat. and it would be totally justified.
at least have the balls to tell her about your thoughts and/or actions, and if she can't accept what you do, then do it while you're single or with someone who doesn't have a problem with it.
although you seem to have the mentality of a boy and not a man, you could at least TRY to have some respect for your woman. sleeping with other women behind her back and joking about it is betrayal at its finest - and it's so, so weak of you.
i think #9 is the number one reason btw
Posted by trifles light as air*
damen, the way you speak about sex and infidelity is quite repulsive. falling on a banana peel? if i ever heard my boyfriend talking like that about sleeping with another woman, you better believe i would be gone in a heartbeat. and it would be totally justified.at least have the balls to tell her about your thoughts and/or actions, and if she can't accept what you do, then do it while you're single or with someone who doesn't have a problem with it.
although you seem to have the mentality of a boy and not a man, you could at least TRY to have some respect for your woman. sleeping with other women behind her back and joking about it is betrayal at its finest - and it's so, so weak of you.
when and where did i say i was cheating on my woman??
my point was that sometimes men make mistakes, and you shouldn't necessarily end the relationship becuz of it
my mother and father been together for over 30 years, and they each went thru that cheating faze, but managed to overcome it and im glad they did..
14. they just grow apart
damen,
you did not directly state that you had cheated on your woman. i inferred from the implications in your posts that you had. i apologize if my assumption was incorrect.
HOWEVER - you did state that infidelity is a problem for you. you also stated that while you don't want to be with anyone else, you can't picture only having sex with your woman for the rest of your life.
so i'll try and take the judgment out of my post and put it more constructively....
if you truly feel that way, you should tell her now. your thoughts will more than likely lead to action. if it's behind her back while the two of you are together and she expects fidelity, it will be so much more painful when she finds out.
i understand the mentality of why rock the boat now to avoid problems that haven't arisen yet,
but as someone who's been cheated on, TRUST ME - there is a much better chance the relationship would have survived had my partner been forthright about their thoughts of being with other people before they actually did it.
if you love her....just think about it.
I came up on this late
In my case I think its because I just don't care anymore
Want to keep conversations like this alive?
Trust, betrayal, and confusion are difficult to process alone. If this discussion helped you understand situations like this, you can support dxpnet below.
Every contribution helps keep dxpnet independent and ad-light.
Join the Conversation. Explore Yourself. Connect with Others.
Discover insights, swap stories, and find people. dxpnet is where experiences turn into understanding.
Create Your Free Account →
I'd like to know each of you guy's insight into what you think is the NUMBER 1 cause of most breakups.
Do you think the average relationship doesn't work out nowadays b/c of:
1. Age/maturity differences?
2. Lack of self-love?
3. Unrealistic expecations of the other person?
4. Infidelity/cheating?
5. Lack in the similiarities (or things in common) in morals/values b/w 2 people?
6. Dishonesty about the past or other things
7. Money/finances
8. Rushing into committment?
9. Committing for all the wrong reasons?
10. Hiding negative flaws/traits from the other person in the beginning? (we all know true colors are eventually discovered)
11. Lack of sex?
12. Lack of romance/intimacy/affection?
13. 1 or both people changing/growing apart?
I realize that ALL Of these things are VALID & potential reasons for why lots of relationships don't work out, BUT based on your experiences, what do you think is the number ONE reason 1 in every 3 relationships are likely to fail, if you had to pick ONE?