What The Hell?

Ok before I jump into my howard stern like solioquey, here's a few facts.

Contrary to the following message, I really want my friends to be happy. Because of that, in a private manner I tend to be overprotective of them. But I keep my opinions to myself. As it is not my place to say such evil things and only to be supportive as a friend. That being said I have to say .....


HOLY SH-T! Jesusfraking Christ! What in the world is wrong with my fellow turning 30 men? Here's the deal. One of my friends from high school just announced on his facebook page he's engaged. That's all well and good right? Except for a few small things.

One, she is only 24 years old. Two, they have only been together for barely a year. Third and most importantly, she just got divorced a freaking year and half ago!

I've met and talked with her a couple times. She is hot and seems nice. And I'm not saying the last marriage is her fault by any means.

BTW my friend is a Sag, so that does explain a lot. But here is the deal. I would never, ever, think or consider getting engaged to a girl just hitting her mid 20's. As I've gone on like a broken record, you go through HUGE changes in your mid to late 20's. It is an extremely fragile and fickle time.

What she wants out of life and a relationship in general ain't gonna be the same when she hits 29. In fact like me, she will have the turning 30 crisis. Start thinking that you were in too much of a hurry to grow up. And want to have a little bit more time to be young and carefree.

Look you could tell me "Well Flying, havent you ever been in love?" Yes I have. Even with my moon and mars in sag, I've never thrown my heart to the wind like that. No matter how in love, I have to be with someone over 4 years before even thinking marriage.

In 4 years, things can change drastically. Maybe you've run out of things to say to each other. Maybe you're just tried of f---ing each other. Bottom line is for me, 4 years is a good way to gauge if a relationship has lasting power. So basically if you're not sick to death of each other after 4 years, and no penises or heads are missing, then that's love.

I've never seen anyone that dated just a year work out for long term marriage. Unless they were stuck with a kid. So fellow fixing to be 30'ers, think carefully before going down that led zeppelin. If you're still undecided, watch Love Stinks, the perfect way to sober up 😉

i see this as well along with my ex (who just turned 29 last month). he's been complaining of the same thing. he doesn't get it. well, he does understand but he's starting to notice a trend of it becoming an issue with men like it is for women. all his male friends around his age are really wanting to settle down and get married. i figure that it's because they already had their wild, young fun and casual flings. now that they're around 30 they want to have a steady relationship with a partner that will stick.

Just so nobody misunderstands, I dont have an issue about men settling down but rather WHO they do it with. The issue is men are so scared of becoming as Chris Rock so wisely put "THAT GUY in da club" by the time 30 hits.

But they overlook several red flags about potential partners. And by 35, they ARE that guy in da club regardless.

I can see the point that you are making...But for the sake of looking at it from a different perspective, it's important to take an individual for who they are and give them a chance. Generally speaking, women mature faster than men (mentally & emotionally)...Maybe you were a bit all over the place when you were 24, but it doesn't mean this girl is (though in this circumstance, if it were my friend I would be a little worried about the previous marriage thing)... Plus, 24 and 30 isn't that big of an age gap, especially when the younger person is the female.

For example - I recently turned 25, and ever since I was about 16 i've been told by most people i've come into contact with that i'm very mature for my age. For the past 5 years or so, some of my best and closest friends have been in their 30's, and are up to 12 years older than me. I actually get along with people that are considerably older than me alot better than I get along with people that are the same age (with the exception of my 2 best friends ofcourse).

So just sayin...Keep an open mind and you may just be pleasantly surprised 🙂 For the record, i'm not one to rush into things either...Just sayin, just coz it's not right for you doesn't mean it's not right for someone else. For your friend's sake, I hope it works out...

Deems, that's what I mean though. When you hit 35 there's some more stability in your thinking on things somewhat.

See, woman go through way more changes than men do in the 20's due to changing circumstances. For example, I've known since 16, children are not part of the game plan for me. I've never once wavered in that decision.

Now women change their mind about things all the time. This is no slam, its just the way you guys are. To be fair, I've seen it with men as well, but more women often than not. In my experience when it comes to really important things in life, women dont get definitive on what they want till getting close to 40.

For example, there was this girl I knew. At the time, she was 30 and had no desire for children. Well, I hadnt kept in touch with her for a few years now. Ran into her a few weeks ago and caught up. She is 37 now and guess what? She wants to adopt a kid.

That is one of the reasons I think that saying "Women mature faster than men" is a complete load of crap. (BTW Oddball this isint directed towards you) What a lot of people misunderstand about that old song and dance is it was referring to a woman's PHYSICAL maturation vs a man's. Now there are some women who do emotionally.

But for the most part, no. To generalize genders in such a way is stupid. Neither men or women "mature" fast in their 20's. Because during the 20's , you are still finding your footing in life.

Let me leave you with one last thought before I get cleaned up. If women mature so fast relationship-wise in their 20's why does infidelity run so rampant with them? What I mean is this. Why do I have 2 late 20 something married women who've pretty much said to me "Anytime, your place or mine" Why do I see married women take their wedding ring off before heading out to a bar/club?

Or why am I seeing more and more women in my city jump in their car to somewhere like Vegas abandoning their husband or kids because its too much to deal with?

I tell you exactly what it is. Trying to grow up too fast instead of just accepting that you're young, dumb, and full of cum.

Oh flying...you are so insightful! Problem is most people aren't as smart and knowing as you are regarding relationships/marriage and waiting. Love can be blinding and intoxicating and often times people rush into things when they aren't thinking.

"BTW my friend is a Sag, so that does explain a lot. But here is the deal. I would never, ever, think or consider getting engaged to a girl just hitting her mid 20's. As I've gone on like a broken record, you go through HUGE changes in your mid to late 20's. It is an extremely fragile and fickle time.

What she wants out of life and a relationship in general ain't gonna be the same when she hits 29. In fact like me, she will have the turning 30 crisis. Start thinking that you were in too much of a hurry to grow up. And want to have a little bit more time to be young and carefree."

You are right...I'm not surprised this dude's a saggie. Hell, it probably won't last because of that factor alone. You are also very right on about how different a woman is in her low to mid twenties in comparrison to how she is in her late twenties/early thirties. I know cause I'm going through this very same thing.
But, I don't think you should be surprised this is happening as it happens all the time. Your friend is in the majority. Let's hope they have a verrry long engagement.

I hear you Satori. I too believe it can be very highly overrated and people really have no idea what they are getting into.
If you choose to marry, I think you should do it as late in life as possible...definitely not in your twenties!

Wow really? Maybe this is just how it is where I come from...Ofcourse there are the immature types and the bad seeds (as there is in every community), but generally speaking aussie girls are way ahead of the guys in terms of maturity in their 20's...I have no experience with what it's like in other countries, so was merely speaking of my own experience. No offence taken 🙂

It's not really a question of maturity though. It's more of a fact that people change as they age and what they want in their early twenties most likely is not what they want in their late twenties. This can cause a lot of friction and moving away from your partner.

Trust me girl...the maturity difference is about the same here in the States!

*Huge blushing*

Aw Satori and Ramfish, realists after my own cold heart. Satori, I agree a lot of men do stupid crap like that. Ronnie Wood, anyone?

But I do think in the 30's and 40's there's more self-awareness, then say even late 20's.

I'm not perfect myself.,as I am currently experiencing a depression about all this. But this has happened since turning 25 years ago on the last days leading up to my birthday.

Satori and Ramfish, I wish more women would share your POV. But then again, it always seems the cool girls always live elsewhere.

BTW for us fixing to be golden 30's, if you hear this song -





and it happens to come on within a couple days of your birthday, turn it off.


Unless you want to be bedridden, eating ice cream and depressed for days. Damn, too late!

What? You're not perfect?? Damn...there goes my fantasy 😉

I'm there with you on that depression you are talking about. Not the type that takes over your life, but the type that really forces you to reevaluate your life. Just be thankful you are not married and going through it!

Mmmmm...bedridden. God, how I wish!

"Trying to grow up too fast instead of just accepting that you're young, dumb, and full of cum."

He speaks the absolute truth!!!

* It's not really a question of maturity though. It's more of a fact that people change as they age and what they want in their early twenties most likely is not what they want in their late twenties. This can cause a lot of friction and moving away from your partner.

I wholeheartedly agree too. That is why so many people divorce in their early thirties. It is usually not the guys that pull the plug, it is the girls. I did the same thing, settled down way to young, then regretted it. broke a fabulous guys heart in the process. live and learn.